Döstädning

[KQ]

Döstädning — a combination of the Swedish words “dö” (which means death) and “standing” (which means cleaning).


Ahhhhh feels soooooooooooo good! Been on a tear and now the truck is loaded with stuff for charity. It's like a weight has been lifted.



What is 'Swedish death cleaning' and should you be doing it?

[Core Shot]

It is good even if not uniquely Swedish.

My mom has been doing this. Clearing out the attic and basement. Cleaning up for death, not that she is there yet, but she is 81, and Swedish.

The best declutter book I read had a good method.
Clutterbusting by Brooks Palmer
https://clutterbusting.com
1. Remove the items from their usual place.
2. Examine them and ask how you feel.
Would you buy it again?
Would you wear it today?
Does it make you happy?
3. If yes, return it to it’s place. If not toss.

So many things we keep out of guilt or fear. But those are the very things that create negative energy when you see them.

Would aunt Berniece want you to be unhappy when you look at that ugly lamp she gave you? Hopefully not. If so, fuck that bitch and chuck the lamp.

Ps, storage totes and boxes are not the solution.
Too many decluttering articles are organizing your clutter, not tossing it out.

[Core Shot]

The brooks Palmer method applies to sports clutter.
That worn out pair of skis that make you smile and recall epic days in the mountains, they are not clutter.

That barely used pair you paid too much for and never really fit your ski style, they have to go.

[KQ]

Would aunt Berniece want you to be unhappy when you look at that ugly lamp she gave you? Hopefully not. If so, fuck that bitch and chuck the lamp.

LOL!! Yes! It was quite liberating to get rid of a couple of items that were gifts that didn't fit. I'm sure someone will find them useful.

Ps, storage totes and boxes are not the solution.
Too many decluttering articles are organizing your clutter, not tossing it out.

I've been in this trap for a number of years and realized I've never gone back and opened up the tote to see the stuff that is in it.

[irul&ublo]

Scandinavian eh....

So Sven says to Ole...”Ole, you need better curtains, last night I looked out the window and saw you and Lena...well, you know...” Ole says, “Ha, Sven, joke is on you...I wasn’t home last night.”

[irul&ublo]

Sven gets done with a hot day on the farm, and goes to the local beer bar, where Lena is working: “Hallo Lena...Anhausher Busch...”, Lena responds, “Just fine Sven, and how’s ur pecker?”

[SKIP IN7RO]

^Nice. I'm going to see if my uncle knows the 2nd one.

[m2711c]

so, it's Ole and Lena time is it?
Ok then:

Ole & Lena went to a lawyer to see about getting a divorce.

"How old are you folks?" asked the lawyer.

"Vell, I'm 96 and Lena is 92," said Ole.

"How come you are getting a divorce now?" asked the lawyer.

Said Ole: "Ve vanted to vait till all da kids vere dead."


Ole, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. His fame grew and soon people from all over the country were coming toMinnesota to have portraits done. One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house.

Inside was a beautiful woman, who asked Ole if he would paint her in the nude. This was the first time anyone had made this request of Ole. The woman said money was no object. She was willing to pay $50,000. Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife, Ole asked the woman to wait while he went in the house and conferred with Lena, his missus.

In a few minutes, he returned and said to the lady, "Ya, shoor, you betcha. I'll paint ya in da nude, but I'll haff ta leave my socks on so I'll have a place to wipe my brushes."


Ole & Lena lived by a lake in Nordern Minnesota . It vas springtime, and da lakes vas yust beginning to thaw.

Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake to da yeneral store to get him some smokes. She asked him for some money, but he told her, 'Nah, yust put it on our tab'.

So she valked across, got da smokes at da yeneral store, den valked back home across da lake. Ven she got home and gave Ole his smokes, she asked him, 'Ole, you alvays tell me not to run up da tab at da store. Why didn't you yust give me some money?'.

Ole replied, 'Vell, I didn't vant to send you out dere vit any money ven I vasn't sure how tick the ice vas.'


Ole wasn't feeling well so he went to the doctor. After examining him the doctor took his wife, Lena, aside, and said, "your husband has a very sensitive heart. I am afraid he s not going to make it, unless you treat him like a king, which means you are at his every beck and call, 24 hours a day and that he doesn t have to do anything himself."

On the way home Ole asked with a note of concern "Vhat did he say?

"Vell," Lena responded, "he said it looks like you probably von't make it."


"A WIFE is a person who helps you through all the troubles you wouldn't have had if you hadn't got married." - Ole


OLE WENT to the doctor for a physical. After Ole was dressed the doctor came in and said,
"I'm sorry Ole, but you are very sick and have only a few weeks to live."
Ole went home with a heavy heart to tell Lena the news. After Ole told Lena he sat in his easy chair and Lena went to the kitchen. Soon Ole began to smell a heavenly aroma that came from their kitchen. Lena was making his favorite cookies!
"Lena must really love me," thought Ole. He went into the kitchen and started to take a cookie, but Lena slapped his hand away and said,
"Ole, you can't eat these. The cookies are for the funeral!"

OLE AND Lena were lying in bed one night when the phone rang, Ole answered it and Lena heard him yell,
"Well, how should I know, that's over 2,000 miles away", and then he hung up.
Lena said, "Who was that, Ole?"
Ole answered, "Some oddball who wanted to know if the coast is clear."

The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support." "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself."

Ole was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife, Lena, was really angry.
She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 PRETTY DAMN FAST!
The next morning Ole got up early and left for work. When Lena woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a gift-wrapped box in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, Lena put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Ole has been missing since Friday.

Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole.
Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole died'."
The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Ole died?' Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Ole. If its money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more."
So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "O.K. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale."

Lena asks her boyfriend Ole to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, Lena tells Ole that after dinner, she would like to go out and (vell ya know) for the first time. Well Ole is ecstatic, but he has never (vell ya know) before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection.
The pharmacist helps Ole for about an hour. He teaches Ole everything there is to know about protection and (vell ya know). At the register, the pharmacist asks Ole how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. Ole insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.
That night Ole shows up at the Lena's parent's house and meets her at the door. "Ole I'm so excited for you ta meet my parents, come on in." Ole goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where Lena's parents are seated. Ole quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes and Ole is still deep in prayer with his head down. Three minutes of praying pass and still no movement from Ole. Finally, after five minutes of praying with his head down, Lena leans over and whispers to her Ole, "I had no idea you ver so religious."
Ole turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your fadder vas a pharmacist."

Ole and Lena visit New York City. Caught in traffic on East 46th, a homeless person starts washing the windshield. Ole rolls down the window.
"Eh how's it going?" the homeless guy says. "Ohhh it's OK.” Ole says.
"Hey where are you folks from?"
"Ohh ve're from Minnesota."
"Ohhh Minnesota, I've been there. I met the ugliest woman I ever saw in Minnesota!" Lena asks "Vat's he saying Ole?"
"Ohhh he says he knows you Lena."

Ole answered the phone one day and came back to the living room crying.
"Vell, Ole! Vat in da vorld is da matter?" asked the sympathetic Lena.
"I yust had bad news, Lena," Ole replied, "My fadder yust died!!"
Just then the phone rang again, Ole went to answer it and came back crying again. "Vell, now, Ole, vat is da matter?" asked Lena.
"Dat vas my brudder." said Ole. "His fadder yust died too!"

Ole and Lena had an argument while they were driving down a country road. After a while they got tired of repeating themselves and neither wanted to back down, so they drove along not saying a word.
Than, as they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, Lena sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yup," Ole replied. "In-laws."

Sven came home to his apartment one night, all upset. "Dat yanitor, vot a bragger. He says he's (Vell ya know) been with every voman in dis building except one."
"Hmmph," said his wife Lena. "Must be dat snooty Mrs. Johnson on da tird floor."


Ole was on his deathbed and implored his wife Lena, "Lena, ven I'm gone, I vant you to marry Sven Svenson". "Vy Sven Svenson?" his wife asked. "You've hated him all of your life!"
"Still do," gasped Ole.

Lena was arrested for shoplifting in a supermarket near Boyceville, WI. When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?' Lena replied, "A can of peaches."


The judge asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied that there were six. The judge said, 'Then I will give you six days in jail."
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, Ole stood up, and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, "What is it?"
Ole said, "She also stole a can of peas."

Ole gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts, "Honey, I jus von da lottery! Pack your bags!" Lena says, "Great! Vhat should I pack for? Da ocean or da mountains?"
He says, "I don't care! Just be out by da end of da week!"

[irul&ublo]

Ole and Lena get married and are driving in their truck to honeymoon in Minneapolis. Ole puts his hand on Lena’s thigh. Lena giggles, and says “you can go further now if you want Ole.” So he drives to Duluth.

[Flyoverland Captive]

I always subscribed to the theory that everything I own should fit in my pickup truck. With skis, bikes, kayaks, etc. that got amended to "in or ON a pickup truck." Then I got married, and well, you know the rest.

[KQ]

I always subscribed to the theory that everything I own should fit in my pickup truck. With skis, bikes, kayaks, etc. that got amended to "in or ON a pickup truck." Then I got married, and well, you know the rest.

I know a couple who are opposite of this - guy is a borderline hoarder and woman is a minimalist.

[hutash]

Thought this was going to be about a high colonic done in a suana

[hutash]

Does having everything you own burn to ashes county as the ultimate "Döstädning"? If so, been there done that, and I can tell you, no it does not make you happier, less stressed, or prepare you to die. It mostly just fucks up your life for at least for nine months so far, with no end in sight.

[babybear]

it's better when it's by choice
Hutash- dont I recall seeing that you'll be in our area soon? keep us posted

[KQ]

Does having everything you own burn to ashes county as the ultimate "Döstädning"? If so, been there done that, and I can tell you, no it does not make you happier, less stressed, or prepare you to die. It mostly just fucks up your life for at least for nine months so far, with no end in sight.

it's better when it's by choice
Hutash- dont I recall seeing that you'll be in our area soon? keep us posted

^ this Hutash. Everything's better when you get to choose. I think of you often and all that you lost. ((((vibes)))). If you're interested I just happen to be getting rid of a lot of stuff.

[MakersTeleMark]

It does make you better. As long as it isn't people. It takes awhile, but I stand by my statement. It might even leak into the latter.

[Jong Lafitte]

LOL, these Swedes in MN seem to have similar troubles as the famous Louisiana dwelling Cajuns, Boudreaux and Pierre.


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[Jong Lafitte]

Boudreaux comes home to find his wife naked in bed, he goes to put his clothes in the closet but upon opening the door, he sees a naked Pierre in the closet. “Pierre, wut da hell you doin?”

“I’m riding the bus”

“Riding the bus? Wut da hell kinda stupid answer is that?”

“Well, Boudreaux, wut da hell kinda stupid question was that?”


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[KQ]

Crikey! I'm exhausted just from doing the kitchen! Ugh... the spice cabinet was a particular nightmare.

[hutash]

I thought this was stress reducing and made you happy...sounds like a pain in the ass. Just wait until you need some rarely used spice you just tossed out.

[KQ]

I thought this was stress reducing and made you happy...sounds like a pain in the ass. Just wait until you need some rarely used spice you just tossed out.

No it is stress reducing! I'm exhausted in a good way - it's cleansing!

I only got rid of spices that were well past their best by date and/or smelled stale. No reason to go through all the trouble of cooking/baking something if you're going to put sub-par spices in/on it. Don't worry, I've still got plenty of star anise and Madagascar vanilla beans.

[riser4]

Thought this was going to be about a high colonic done in a suana

Heh.

[The AD]

It does feel pretty awesome to drop off a load of shit you never use at Goodwill.

[GiBo]

Fuck that. I've had to go through so many dead people's shit over there years. It's someone's else turn when I go. Besides, who I am to decide if my kids do or don't want my 20 year old Rossi Sommets with Chilli's. They still have some camber.

[Core Shot]

Bump. For decluttering.

Mom is in assisted living. I am far away. My brother cleared out the house with four days notice. In hindsight he did me a favor. I would have kept too many things. Things don’t matter. People do.

PS. I really wish he didn’t throw out my Burton back hill plywood snowboard. Oh well. Maybe someone scored at the thrift shop.