Things That Amuse You

[ZomblibulaX]

...everyone knows dentists have no sense of humor...

My buddy's dad was a dentist. To say his delivery was dry would be to call Bob Newhart charismatic. Carl was the most bland person I'd ever met. Born and raised in Nebraska, drove a tan Chrysler LeBaron. Anyway...

We're stoned as the bejesus after skiing one day on Christmas break in high school, sitting at his kitchen table, and Dr. Carl Johnson, DDS, comes in. He looks at us and, without us saying anything, says, "Well... I'll tell you how my day was..."

"A patient came in today, and he was having problems with his dentures. The plastic plate looked to have been eroded through... So, I asked him if they had been damaged in a fall, and he said no... Then I asked him if they had been cleaned with any harsh chemicals, and he said no... And I asked him if they had been subject to any harsh environmental conditions, and he said no... And I asked him if he had been drinking a large amount of cola, and he said no... And I asked him if he had given them to anyone else to use, and he said no... And finally I asked him if he has been eating any acidic foods, and he said, Well... my wife makes me eggs Benedict for breakfast each morning... So I said, no to worry, we'll make you a new plate... but I suggest we make this one out of chrome... And he asked, Why chrome?... And I said...

"Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."

And he just walked away. And I was so baked I had no idea what had just happened. But now...

[old goat]

Or he was just making it all up, which is also hilarious. win-win

I don't think so. My dad had zero sense of humor--never heard him tell a joke. Although watching Laurel and Hardy would send him into hysterics. (You young whippersnappers have no idea how funny those guys were.) But other than that--nothing.

[MontuckyFried]

Witnessed another amusing moment in my day of travel yesterday. Was chilling at ATL waiting for my redeye flight. Sitting across from me was a bombshell perfect 10/10. Seemingly perfect face and body. Rocking the yoga pants of course. Anyway, what I found so funny to witness was her "removing her mask," cleaning off all of her makeup from the day.
Pre-wipe: 10/10
1st wipe: 8/10. Ok, still pretty hawt.
2nd wipe: 6/10. Alright. Still not bad, but starting to transform before my very eyes.
3rd wipe: 4/10. Umm, ok? Still perfectly bangable, since at least she still has that rockin' bod.
Last wipe down: 2/10. Geebus! I bet all the dudes on this girl's Insta wouldn't be simpin' so hard if they knew the truth.

Kudos to her for having strong makeup game. On point. That said, isn't heavy makeup like that kind of catfishing people? ESP if they're on Tinder. Reminded me of this thing I saw recently...


Hahaha. Always hilarious just being an observer.

[Timberridge]

Just went into town for lunch and two little old white haired ladies drove by in a


I dunno why but it made me chuckle

[riser4]

Witnessed another amusing moment in my day of travel yesterday. Was chilling at ATL waiting for my redeye flight. Sitting across from me was a bombshell perfect 10/10. Seemingly perfect face and body. Rocking the yoga pants of course. Anyway, what I found so funny to witness was her "removing her mask," cleaning off all of her makeup from the day.
Pre-wipe: 10/10
1st wipe: 8/10. Ok, still pretty hawt.
2nd wipe: 6/10. Alright. Still not bad, but starting to transform before my very eyes.
3rd wipe: 4/10. Umm, ok? Still perfectly bangable, since at least she still has that rockin' bod.
Last wipe down: 2/10. Geebus! I bet all the dudes on this girl's Insta wouldn't be simpin' so hard if they knew the truth.

Kudos to her for having strong makeup game. On point. That said, isn't heavy makeup like that kind of catfishing people? ESP if they're on Tinder. Reminded me of this thing I saw recently...


Hahaha. Always hilarious just being an observer.

Adam's apple and an impressive tuck job in those yoga pants? That's a man!

[MontuckyFried]

Adam's apple and an impressive tuck job in those yoga pants? That's a man!

Hahaha. That would have been even more impressive. Seeing her go from a 10 to a 2, you just never know. Freaking incredible bod if that was a dude, but if Thailand's taught us one thing, it's TRUST NOTHING.

[MontuckyFried]

Just went into town for lunch and two little old white haired ladies drove by in a
[911 Targa]
I dunno why but it made me chuckle

Haha. Those are some pretty badass old ladies. I wish my grandma was ever even 1% as cool as that. RIP.

[skaredshtles]

nordstrom.com/rad-refined-crystal-embellished-snow-goggles


Attachment 385454

I don't think "refined" means what they think it means...

[riser4]

Hahaha. That would have been even more impressive. Seeing her go from a 10 to a 2, you just never know. Freaking incredible bod if that was a dude, but if Thailand's taught us one thing, it's TRUST NOTHING.

So you would still bang her even if she was a dude?

[skaredshtles]

So you would still bang her even if she was a dude?

[old goat]

WAPO this afternoon "Breaking news: First crew of all amateur astronauts enters orbit after successful SpaceX launch." Next--all amateur surgical team.

[~mikey b]

the true COVID heros that drive alone in a car with a mask on

they amuse me

[riser4]

the true COVID heros that drive alone in a car with a mask on

they amuse me

I love those guys and gals. They are awesome. And it's been discussed in another thread why that could be a good idea in certain circumstances, especially before the vaxxes were available.

[~mikey b]

bullshit

[abraham]

Hey man don't knock the feedbag. Sounds like you're just jealous they can munch Cheetos while driving without getting orange dust all over their fingers.

[John_B]

Hey man don't knock the feedbag. Sounds like you're just jealous they can munch Cheetos while driving without getting orange dust all over their fingers.

I think the most exasperated/disappointed I've recently made my wife is when she caught me filling my N95 with Skittles. I obviously need to push the envelope a little more.

[~mikey b]

https://youtu.be/bjVNOGEWzv4

[jfost]

the true COVID heros that drive alone in a car with a mask on

they amuse me

Maybe they just left the hospital and forgot to pull it down?!?

[~mikey b]

yeah sure

cuz they were two miles from the hospital and going towards it

[Core Shot]

I assumed they were all Uber drivers.

Otoh. Just roll down all the windows after your passengers leave. No mask needed at that point.

[EWG]

Watching MNF and an ad came on after--the music was Janis Joplin singing "Cry, Baby" so I listen. I look at the screen--a beautiful model in a field of flowers, then lying in a rowboat as a whale passes underneath, and other beautiful model stuff. At the end it turns out to be an ad for Dior perfume. The contrast between Janis and what was on the screen--I just don't know what to say. Pretty sure Janis didn't wear perfume, unless Southern Comfort made perfume.

At least the lyrics make somewhat tangential sense in an ad for perfume. As opposed to that minivan commercial from some years back that used the Pogues “If I Should Fall From Grace With God.” That was jarring.

[EWG]

Haha. Those are some pretty badass old ladies. I wish my grandma was ever even 1% as cool as that. RIP.

My mom is 77. She loves craft beer. Goes to breweries like Treehouse and orders based on what hops they tell her are in the beers. It’s hilarious to see the look on the 20-somethings faces when they realized this small white haired older lady knows more about beer than they do.

Makes me so proud.

[~mikey b]

I assumed they were all Uber drivers.

Otoh. Just roll down all the windows after your passengers leave. No mask needed at that point.

there’s no uber here

[old goat]

there’s no uber here

Just robbed a bank?

[ötzi]

We go through a fair amount of various nuts so I order then from nuts.com. Wife walked in from outside just now and I announced, "I found your nuts."
Me:"Huh?"
Her: "They were in a box on the porch."
Me: "Oh is that where you've been keeping them?"
Her: "Huh?"