Results 2,151 to 2,175 of 5946
Thread: Things That Amuse You
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09-14-2021, 10:56 PM #2151
My buddy's dad was a dentist. To say his delivery was dry would be to call Bob Newhart charismatic. Carl was the most bland person I'd ever met. Born and raised in Nebraska, drove a tan Chrysler LeBaron. Anyway...
We're stoned as the bejesus after skiing one day on Christmas break in high school, sitting at his kitchen table, and Dr. Carl Johnson, DDS, comes in. He looks at us and, without us saying anything, says, "Well... I'll tell you how my day was..."
"A patient came in today, and he was having problems with his dentures. The plastic plate looked to have been eroded through... So, I asked him if they had been damaged in a fall, and he said no... Then I asked him if they had been cleaned with any harsh chemicals, and he said no... And I asked him if they had been subject to any harsh environmental conditions, and he said no... And I asked him if he had been drinking a large amount of cola, and he said no... And I asked him if he had given them to anyone else to use, and he said no... And finally I asked him if he has been eating any acidic foods, and he said, Well... my wife makes me eggs Benedict for breakfast each morning... So I said, no to worry, we'll make you a new plate... but I suggest we make this one out of chrome... And he asked, Why chrome?... And I said...
"Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."
And he just walked away. And I was so baked I had no idea what had just happened. But now...
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09-14-2021, 11:01 PM #2152
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09-15-2021, 11:06 AM #2153
Witnessed another amusing moment in my day of travel yesterday. Was chilling at ATL waiting for my redeye flight. Sitting across from me was a bombshell perfect 10/10. Seemingly perfect face and body. Rocking the yoga pants of course. Anyway, what I found so funny to witness was her "removing her mask," cleaning off all of her makeup from the day.
Pre-wipe: 10/10
1st wipe: 8/10. Ok, still pretty hawt.
2nd wipe: 6/10. Alright. Still not bad, but starting to transform before my very eyes.
3rd wipe: 4/10. Umm, ok? Still perfectly bangable, since at least she still has that rockin' bod.
Last wipe down: 2/10. Geebus! I bet all the dudes on this girl's Insta wouldn't be simpin' so hard if they knew the truth.
Kudos to her for having strong makeup game. On point. That said, isn't heavy makeup like that kind of catfishing people? ESP if they're on Tinder. Reminded me of this thing I saw recently...
Hahaha. Always hilarious just being an observer.
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09-15-2021, 11:48 AM #2154
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09-15-2021, 12:14 PM #2155
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09-15-2021, 01:05 PM #2156
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09-15-2021, 01:06 PM #2157
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09-15-2021, 01:15 PM #2158
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09-15-2021, 05:12 PM #2159
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09-15-2021, 05:16 PM #2160
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09-15-2021, 06:26 PM #2161
WAPO this afternoon "Breaking news: First crew of all amateur astronauts enters orbit after successful SpaceX launch." Next--all amateur surgical team.
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09-15-2021, 06:49 PM #2162
the true COVID heros that drive alone in a car with a mask on
they amuse meI didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.
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09-15-2021, 07:49 PM #2163
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09-15-2021, 08:56 PM #2164
bullshit
I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.
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09-15-2021, 09:05 PM #2165
Hey man don't knock the feedbag. Sounds like you're just jealous they can munch Cheetos while driving without getting orange dust all over their fingers.
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09-15-2021, 09:12 PM #2166
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09-15-2021, 09:29 PM #2167I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.
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09-15-2021, 10:59 PM #2168
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09-16-2021, 12:25 AM #2169
yeah sure
cuz they were two miles from the hospital and going towards itI didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.
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09-16-2021, 06:35 AM #2170
I assumed they were all Uber drivers.
Otoh. Just roll down all the windows after your passengers leave. No mask needed at that point.. . .
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09-16-2021, 06:40 AM #2171
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09-16-2021, 06:45 AM #2172
My mom is 77. She loves craft beer. Goes to breweries like Treehouse and orders based on what hops they tell her are in the beers. It’s hilarious to see the look on the 20-somethings faces when they realized this small white haired older lady knows more about beer than they do.
Makes me so proud.
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09-16-2021, 08:17 AM #2173
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09-16-2021, 08:53 AM #2174
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09-16-2021, 03:22 PM #2175man of ice
- Join Date
- Jun 2020
- Location
- in a freezer in Italy
- Posts
- 7,292
We go through a fair amount of various nuts so I order then from nuts.com. Wife walked in from outside just now and I announced, "I found your nuts."
Me:"Huh?"
Her: "They were in a box on the porch."
Me: "Oh is that where you've been keeping them?"
Her: "Huh?"
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