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  1. #1676
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    PRB
    Posts
    26,080
    I apologize that the cereals my kid eats aren't up to your standards.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "I'd eat a bag of Dicks and wash it down with a Coke any day." - iceman

  2. #1677
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    the Low Sierra
    Posts
    14,513
    sounds like they’re not up to your own standards

    sounds like you don’t even know what your standards are

    a little information is a scary thing
    I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.

  3. #1678
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    my own little world
    Posts
    3,315

    Things That Amuse You

    My 10yo asked me why some of the plumbing fittings were male and some were female. Blanked on a good way to explain why they used those terms, though I did explain which were which. She’ll figure it out.

    I showed a few far side comics to my 14yo. He proceeded to make fun of my “old people memes”.
    focus.

  4. #1679
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    I smell poutine!!!
    Posts
    14,602
    Mud butt annoys me.

  5. #1680
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    PRB
    Posts
    26,080
    Quote Originally Posted by ~mikey b View Post
    sounds like they’re not up to your own standards

    sounds like you don’t even know what your standards are

    a little information is a scary thing
    What the fuck?
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "I'd eat a bag of Dicks and wash it down with a Coke any day." - iceman

  6. #1681
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    the Low Sierra
    Posts
    14,513
    amusing
    I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.

  7. #1682
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Salida, CO
    Posts
    1,436

  8. #1683
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Salida, CO
    Posts
    1,436

  9. #1684
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
    Posts
    17,483
    "911, what's your emergency"
    "There's a sailboat flipped over in Donner Lake, the guy can't get it righted, he's been in the water a long time and I don't think he's wearing a wet suit."
    "What color is the boat?"

    What color is the boat? Seriously
    (They wound up sending 6 vehicles, fire and PD, ambulance, fire engine and they were planning to put a boat in the water. Meanwhile, after I yelled to the guy to lower his sails, he was able to get the boat to stay upright and get in. He then drifted with the wind the length of the lake and I assume beached at the east end. He was sitting up last I could see him so I assume he's fine, but it was a cool windy day and the water is very cold--people have fallen out of boats in the spring and died.)

  10. #1685
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    Posts
    348
    I use my work dumpster for household trash sometimes. I came out back last week and my kids pink camp chair and castle have been claimed.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    This week I threw two bushes into the dumpster with thorns so nasty and big they went through my work gloves when I tried to pick one up. Ouch. 3 hours later some dude on a bike took them out my dumpster and biked away with them. I don't know what the black market is for thorn bushes with all the roots chopped off, but I hope he's able to buy a dinner from it.

  11. #1686
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
    Posts
    17,483
    Quote Originally Posted by muted reborn View Post
    I use my work dumpster for household trash sometimes. I came out back last week and my kids pink camp chair and castle have been claimed.

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	IMG_6412.jpg 
Views:	97 
Size:	1.94 MB 
ID:	373819

    This week I threw two bushes into the dumpster with thorns so nasty and big they went through my work gloves when I tried to pick one up. Ouch. 3 hours later some dude on a bike took them out my dumpster and biked away with them. I don't know what the black market is for thorn bushes with all the roots chopped off, but I hope he's able to buy a dinner from it.
    I think you can build a fence around your compound to keep the lions out.

  12. #1687
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Posts
    223
    Mother's day card as dictated by a friend's 3yo, written by his teacher.

  13. #1688
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    my own little world
    Posts
    3,315

    Things That Amuse You

    Headline in my newsfeed: Tiger caught on video roaming Houston neighborhood.

    The hook below the headline: An off-duty sheriff’s deputy saw the tiger and held it at gunpoint until another person came to take the wildcat away.

    HELD IT AT GUNPOINT?!
    focus.

  14. #1689
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Wenatchee
    Posts
    9,324
    Halt!


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  15. #1690
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Cackalacky
    Posts
    2,985
    the tiger was black.
    you don't want no smoke.

  16. #1691
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
    Posts
    17,483
    My first thought was that I didn't think Tiger's leg was healed enough for him to be roaming a neighborhood. I could see a cop holding him at gunpoint though.

  17. #1692
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Cackalacky
    Posts
    2,985
    https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/10/us/ho...rnd/index.html
    apparently the tiger's whereabouts are not known at this time. the alleged owner is also an alleged murderer who is free on bond. i love this story.
    you don't want no smoke.

  18. #1693
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Bellevue
    Posts
    6,318
    Google translate is super cool technology, but the reflections can fuck it up a bit.Name:  Screenshot_20210507-002144.jpeg
Views: 271
Size:  85.2 KB

  19. #1694
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    my own little world
    Posts
    3,315
    Quote Originally Posted by stealurface831 View Post
    https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/10/us/ho...rnd/index.html
    apparently the tiger's whereabouts are not known at this time. the alleged owner is also an alleged murderer who is free on bond. i love this story.
    This story had legs! There wasn’t much to the original story I found, and I can’t find it now which is a bummer. But it seems like there was a lot going on here.
    focus.

  20. #1695
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Cackalacky
    Posts
    2,985
    Quote Originally Posted by Mustonen View Post
    This story had legs! There wasn’t much to the original story I found, and I can’t find it now which is a bummer. But it seems like there was a lot going on here.
    you know, lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous.
    you don't want no smoke.

  21. #1696
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    I smell poutine!!!
    Posts
    14,602
    Quote Originally Posted by abraham View Post
    Google translate is super cool technology, but the reflections can fuck it up a bit.Name:  Screenshot_20210507-002144.jpeg
Views: 271
Size:  85.2 KB
    Sugar made from poop or sugar that helps you poop more better?

  22. #1697
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Posts
    13,480

  23. #1698
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    6,268
    Hey - you can't just reach in to any old trash can and grab suitable tape and plastic, ya know.

  24. #1699
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Cackalacky
    Posts
    2,985
    shoutout to the teacher that put all my missing assignments in as 100s and brought my failing grade up to a b.
    you don't want no smoke.

  25. #1700
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    22,682
    The Mariners currently have a no bag policy at the stadium. So what's tomorrow night's promotion? A free Mariners tote bag, of course. I'm picturing them handing you the tote bag at the gate and then someone confiscates it a second later.

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