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  1. #1
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    strong move United.

    United Airlines is eliminating quarterly performance bonuses for its employees, and replacing them with something a bit more unconventional: a lottery-style drawing, with prizes including cash, cars, and vacations.
    Clever!

    A United spokesperson told CBJ that the new prize program was intended to “build excitement and a sense of accomplishment.”

    According to CBJ, though, excitement was not some employees’ first response. Sources said the announcement had been met with a “firestorm” among employees.
    Sad!

  2. #2
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    Fuckin eegheads
    riser4 - Ignore me! Please!

    Kenny Satch - With pleasure

  3. #3
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    Let the hunger games begin.

  4. #4
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    I don't like the idea of a "firestorm" in civil aviation. Smooth move, United.
    No longer stuck.

    Quote Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn View Post
    Just an uneducated guess.

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    It'll be fun!
    What better way to build morale and team cohesion?!?
    In search of the elusive artic powder weasel ...

  6. #6
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    In related news, they've also begun deciding which planes to maintain using a lottery system and the lottery-style luggage delivery system is in beta testing.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    the lottery-style luggage delivery system is in beta testing.
    I thought that one went live decades ago.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn View Post
    I don't like the idea of a "firestorm" in civil aviation. Smooth move, United.
    Don’t worry, that was a euphemism for Shitstorm.

  9. #9
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    Who the fuck is paid to come up with this shit????

    Is the CEOs' performance bonus thrown into the pool as well?
    www.apriliaforum.com

    "If the road You followed brought you to this,of what use was the road"?

    "I have no idea what I am talking about but would be happy to share my biased opinions as fact on the matter. "
    Ottime

  10. #10
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    May 2011
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    I believe this is called conducting layoffs by encouraging employees to quit.

  11. #11
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    May 2002
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    33,440
    This is what happens when accountants and bonus hungry upper management fucks consult marketing and pr for solutions to increasing said upper managements performance based salary and bonuses.

  12. #12
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    strong move United.

    If i wanted to be motivated and rewarded by a random lottery, I'd choose life
    Last edited by mcski; 03-04-2018 at 08:50 PM.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcski View Post
    If i wanted to be motivated and reward by a random lottery, I'd choose life
    It's a child, not a choice!
    No longer stuck.

    Quote Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn View Post
    Just an uneducated guess.

  14. #14
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    Feb 2010
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    hahaha, people are still getting their bonus, those that get them, get to party hard and spin the wheel of fortune.

    you guys are like the twitter universe, you think your opinion matters and even the fake news thinks your opinion matters when in reality, you missed most of the facts......hahahahahhahaha
    Terje was right.

    "We're all kooks to somebody else." -Shelby Menzel

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcski View Post
    If i wanted to be motivated and reward by a random lottery, I'd choose life
    Name:  IMG_0581.JPG
Views: 647
Size:  78.2 KB
    What we have here is an intelligence failure. You may be familiar with staring directly at that when shaving. .
    -Ottime
    One man can only push so many boulders up hills at one time.
    -BMillsSkier

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by frorider View Post
    Don’t worry, that was a euphemism for Shitstorm.
    Same.
    No longer stuck.

    Quote Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn View Post
    Just an uneducated guess.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by splat View Post
    This is what happens when accountants and bonus hungry upper management fucks consult marketing and pr for solutions to increasing said upper managements performance based salary and bonuses.

    Nah, I'll go with the hunger games analogy. The rich are now bored, and just want some fun with their subjects. In Ancient Rome, it was the games, in recent times, it was owning and mistreating slaves, now, this.

  18. #18
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    Jan 2010
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    I was pitched this type of bonus scheme, but it was in addition to existing bonuses, etc. The salesman actually said that it was important that we not replace existing comp with this system...


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  19. #19
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    Oct 2005
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    Wasatch
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    Fruitcake of the Month Club.

  20. #20
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    Dec 2009
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    The Mayonnaisium
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    Or jelly.


  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by DasBlunt View Post
    hahaha, people are still getting their bonus, those that get them, get to party hard and spin the wheel of fortune.

    you guys are like the twitter universe, you think your opinion matters and even the fake news thinks your opinion matters when in reality, you missed most of the facts......hahahahahhahaha
    Source?

    Here's the latest update I found: https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/1...s-lottery.html

    To put it lightly, United pilots, flight attendants, and other employees are up in arms. A number of employees reached out to me directly, and to my colleague Chris Matyszczyk, who pointed out just how badly botched the rollout was.
    Now it's possible that the company wide email that's pissing off employees was written so poorly that everyone got confused, but if so wouldn't United be correcting this immediately?

  22. #22
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    Sep 2001
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    You dare question DasCunt?

  23. #23
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    Sep 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by frorider View Post
    Don’t worry, that was a euphemism for Shitstorm.
    When the shit hits the turbofan.
    Quote Originally Posted by powder11 View Post
    if you have to resort to taking advice from the nitwits on this forum, then you're doomed.

  24. #24
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    Feb 2009
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    I've worked on developing employee incentive and recognition programs for Fortune 100 companies. The ignorant clueless of management here has a very familiar ring to it.
    A few people feel the rain. Most people just get wet.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    9,850
    United's not the first one on this bus; it's kind of been the deep state secret of HR for a while. Stupid to throw it out for public viewing, though.

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