Older parents-WWYD?
I am faced with a dilemma. My 78 yr old mom came down with West Nile virus about 3 years ago. It almost killed her due to the encephalitis that it gave her. Now she has nerve damage, which hampers her ability to get around and she has fallen a few times, breaking bones, which causes her more pain and lack of mobility. Where she lives, she is on the HOA board and feels compelled to be out in the gardens and yards showing the landscaping crew how to do their jobs. That is likely when the mosquito bit her to transmit the West Nile and she has been bit by a black widow which fucked her up too. I have been asking her for a few years to stop working with the landscaping crew, as she really is not able to do it anymore, but she doesn't listen to me. The bummer about the West Nile virus is it likely took about 10 years off my mom's life and she acts more like someone in their late 80's rather than 70's.
Needless to say I am always worried about her and was relieved when my step dad finally retired a year ago, so he could keep an eye on her. Wrong, turns out he is developing some mental issues (he's crazy) wasn't sleeping, drinking to much and he started to develop auditory and visual hallucinations.
So a few weeks ago his son hospitalized him. I met with him yesterday and after talking to him, I am certain he can be ok if he moderates the booze (he isn't drinking at this time) is around other people (he was very isolated the last year) gets his sleep and takes care of himself.
Normally people in their late 70's should be able to take care of themselves, but I really don't know about these two. So, what to do?
They live two hours away from me so I can't drop in on them daily. I asked my mom if I could put a webcam in her kitchen and she said "hell no". I suggested they have someone come in every other day to help out and she states they don't need that (which is true). What they need is a full time babysitter to keep an eye on them.
So, in talking to my wife she suggested we add a granny flat on the house and move them down here with us. I work from home, so I could definitely keep an eye on them and living where we do would be so nice for them compared to the hood they live in now.
Bummer for the wife and I, is there go our plans to travel in 3 years, once she retires at 63. Now she said she may as well work to 65 (which sucks) as we aren't going anywhere for the next 20+ years if we are watching the parents.
It isn't like my parents can really afford anything close to us to just move closer to us, so that is why we would need to move them into our home, if I am going to keep an eye on them.
So do we just do it or is there any other way to work this out?
end blog
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