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  1. #76
    Join Date
    May 2021
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    100
    Quote Originally Posted by skiJ View Post
    I Like the concept of Circle of Life -
    I had not heard it until a couple of years ago...

    I read to my Dad - essays written by a regional adventure writer that we had both enjoyed many years earlier...
    Dad had been placed in resident care by his daughter - I found out about it after the fact ;
    I read to my Dad -
    Often, he would nod-off and I would finish the essay I was reading - and I would sit until he stirred ;
    it is a cycle we repeated many many times...

    Mother had dementia, too - lost her short-term memory and became paranoid of me ( three years later the slanderous lies were exposed ) ;
    I continued to visit my mother anyway, encouraging her to tell stories of her life -
    That worked well.
    She slept a lot in the last six months as 'terminal COPD' robbed her of a lot.
    I would end my visits with,
    ' ... I 'll see you next time - '

    to which my mother would reply,
    ' I'm counting on it ! '

    in the end, Mother got pneumonia and called her daughter ;
    Mother's records say when the assisted living staff looked in on her in the night in her final week, she was heard to say,
    ' it's my time to go... '

    in her last two months, I just listened as Mother told stories from her life...

    I consider the time I spent with my parents in the last year of their lives to be one of the great blessings of my Life !
    ( not many people get to do that, and I consider myself lucky. )

    +vibes+ your way, Harry ! KQ, too !

    I agree with the comment above -
    you 're a good son, Harry --

    KQ, a good daughter.

    Thank you for what you are doing ! !!!
    With love,

    tj
    Wouldn't mother's daughter be your sister? Half sister?

  2. #77
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    2,748
    she's Mother's daughter.

    reading to my father, and
    listening to my mother tell stories of her life worked for us -

    my time with my parents in the last years of their lives - especially with my father in the last year of his life - was a great Gift in my life.

    Harry and KQ are doing Good (work) !
    Harry has found adventure in a region that is home to me, and his mini-TRs in the Midwest thread are a Gift to me
    ( Thanks ! Harry ! !! )


    I wish that Harry could play last season's Packer games for his Mom ( but maybe that's not a great idea with advanced and advancing COPD )


    ... my father was down to single syllables in response to short sentences - and the look of peacefulness that would come to him as I read Sam Cook's essays ,,, is a gift.
    I don't know how to better explain it --


    thanks -
    Thank you, Harry ! You, Too, KQ !

    tj

  3. #78
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Last Best City in the Last Best Place
    Posts
    7,270
    If you can smoke Lucky Strikes and still live to 95 then I'm pretty sure she would say it was worth it.

    Vibes Harry, you're a good man.

  4. #79
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
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    Before
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    Quote Originally Posted by KQ View Post
    Glad you were there to help!

    My 90yo mom has been in the hospital since last Wednesday with severe anemia. It was so bad she couldn't breathe because she had no red blood cells.

    They found some healing ulcers but not much else other than vit/mineral deficiencies.

    She is much improved and ready to go home today after receiving transfusions and assorted drips of potassium, magnesium etc.

    While she was in the hospital I got the chance to go through her place (independent living in a retirement home) and clean it up, do all her laundry and figure out the mess she got herself into with Spectrum (ordering services she didn't need then forgetting she had them and not understanding the bills she was getting).

    Ugh.

    Spent.

    It truly is a second childhood. Should of had kids so there'd be someone to do it for me.
    My dad had that going on, he'd black out from anemia, I think there were around 8 ambulance trips, he hid most of them from me.

    After the last one, I flew down there again (SEA<->FL) and got him, after a bunch of arguments about what was going on (he was hemorrhaging in his stomach due to too much statin drugs), I got him lined up to go to The Mayo Clinic up in Jacksonville.

    After his accusations of me trying to run his life, I left him to get the surgery that gave him another 3 years of life before he died from stroke, also possibly related to over medication. His doctors sucked.

    Anyway, see if you can get better ulcer analysis. If she's on blood thinners, see if there's some modifications available.
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  5. #80
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    The Mayonnaisium
    Posts
    10,467
    Quote Originally Posted by yeahman View Post
    If you can smoke Lucky Strikes and still live to 95 then I'm pretty sure she would say it was worth it.

    Vibes Harry, you're a good man.
    + 1

  6. #81
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    between campus and church
    Posts
    9,925
    Quote Originally Posted by Peruvian View Post
    Sounds like a downsizing from a single family house with a property to a condo or apartment would be a good start.

    However if your mom is anything like my widower dad, good luck pulling them from her home anything but feet first.
    Quoting myself as 5 years later, my dad decided he had enough of house maintenance and he found a wonderful independent & assisted living community that he moved into this past April. He really loves the interaction and it’s been amazingly good for his mental health.

  7. #82
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    STL
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    13,294
    Vibes Harry. You’re a good son.

    My Dad is 83 next week and still smoking 3 packs of Kent’s a day. He’s in Southern Chile so not much I can do.




    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  8. #83
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    9,855
    Quote Originally Posted by Peruvian View Post
    Quoting myself as 5 years later, my dad decided he had enough of house maintenance and he found a wonderful independent & assisted living community that he moved into this past April. He really loves the interaction and it’s been amazingly good for his mental health.
    This!!! My mother shocked the bejesus out of me by suddenly committing to a 3 level (Ind., assisted, and skilled nursing) facility, after screaming for years that she'd never leave her house. I wish I could say it was something I said or did, but ultimately I think she just recognized that living alone out in the country would end badly. The assisted living and skilled nursing were invaluable after she suffered a major stroke and broke her hip, and the simple logistics of being able to quickly make the transitions was much appreciated by both her and myself.

  9. #84
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,269
    Quote Originally Posted by Cono Este View Post
    Vibes Harry. You’re a good son.

    My Dad is 83 next week and still smoking 3 packs of Kent’s a day. He’s in Southern Chile so not much I can do.




    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    Good thing he's in Chile. He would go bankrupt in 6 months at US prices burning 3 packs of heaters a day.

  10. #85
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    STL
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    13,294
    Quote Originally Posted by fatnslow View Post
    Good thing he's in Chile. He would go bankrupt in 6 months at US prices burning 3 packs of heaters a day.
    I think he’s blown a million dollars on cigarettes, and another million on the stray dogs he’s taken in down there. He should set up a non for profit.

    Bonkers.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  11. #86
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    EWA
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    22,004
    Quote Originally Posted by PB View Post
    This!!! My mother shocked the bejesus out of me by suddenly committing to a 3 level (Ind., assisted, and skilled nursing) facility, after screaming for years that she'd never leave her house. I wish I could say it was something I said or did, but ultimately I think she just recognized that living alone out in the country would end badly. The assisted living and skilled nursing were invaluable after she suffered a major stroke and broke her hip, and the simple logistics of being able to quickly make the transitions was much appreciated by both her and myself.
    My aunt & uncle did this. Downsized and moved in to a posh community that had independent, assisted and nursing all in one campus. They worked their way through until the passed. It was effortless for them and their kids.
    When you see something that is not right, not just, not fair, you have a moral obligation to say something. To do something." Rep. John Lewis


    Kindness is a bridge between all people

    Dunkin’ Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism

  12. #87
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    northern BC
    Posts
    30,881
    once he lost his license Pa realized pretty quick he could keep up the house

    both my parents went into hospitol at ages 84 and 90

    never came out
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  13. #88
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Big Sky/Moonlight Basin
    Posts
    14,413
    11:30pm. Currently at ER, she is struggling to breathe. Please send vibes.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    "Zee damn fat skis are ruining zee piste !" -Oscar Schevlin

    "Hike up your skirt and grow a dick you fucking crybaby" -what Bunion said to Harry at the top of The Headwaters

  14. #89
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
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    Before
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    27,910
    >>>>++++<<<<
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  15. #90
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    inpdx
    Posts
    20,197

    Older parents-WWYD?

    Sorry you’re there now Harry
    Vibes sent your way

  16. #91
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    Dec 2005
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  17. #92
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    2,622
    They are on the way. Good luck Harry.

  18. #93
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    In a van... down by the river
    Posts
    13,649
    ++vibes, man

  19. #94
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    In your Dreams
    Posts
    2,071
    Peace
    Seeker of Truth. Dispenser of Wisdom. Protector of the Weak. Avenger of Evil.

  20. #95
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    PNW -> MSO
    Posts
    7,889
    x7, hang in there.

  21. #96
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    2,748
    +vibes+ my friend.
    With love, skiJ

  22. #97
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    EWA
    Posts
    22,004
    Oh Harry.... I'm so sorry! Hang in there, both of you.
    When you see something that is not right, not just, not fair, you have a moral obligation to say something. To do something." Rep. John Lewis


    Kindness is a bridge between all people

    Dunkin’ Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism

  23. #98
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    A LSD Steakhouse somewhere in the Wasatch
    Posts
    13,234
    vibes brother
    hopin for the best for both of you
    "When the child was a child it waited patiently for the first snow and it still does"- Van "The Man" Morrison
    "I find I have already had my reward, in the doing of the thing" - Buzz Holmstrom
    "THIS IS WHAT WE DO"-AML -ski on in eternal peace
    "I have posted in here but haven't read it carefully with my trusty PoliAsshat antenna on."-DipshitDanno

  24. #99
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    on the banks of Fish Creek
    Posts
    7,513
    Peace.

  25. #100
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    3,301
    We lost my dad to Parkinson’s last year and my mom in 2020 to a combination of things that developed over a number of years following a stroke. My FIL is still holding it together despite some challenges, living alone at 90. Hang in there. It’s not easy but you can handle it.

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