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  1. #1
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    The Dating Tips Thread

    Ok, go........

    #1 Do not get drunk and puke on her lap
    "Can't vouch for him, though he seems normal via email."

  2. #2
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    #2 Do not drink puke out of her lap.

  3. #3
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    Wear sunglasses so she can't see you checking out her tits.
    "There is a hell of a huge difference between skiing as a sport- or even as a lifestyle- and skiing as an industry"
    Hunter S. Thompson, 1970 (RIP)

  4. #4
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    #3 Don't pee in her bed while you're both in it.......I mean don't pee in her bed ever, even if alone

    #4 Don't pee in her closet

    #5 back to #3-4 just don't pee on her stuff
    "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow"

    Moment skis

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Below Zero
    Ok, go........

    #1 Do not get drunk and puke on her lap

    I got drunk on Cold Duck and barfed in her car, but missed her lap - does that count?
    ADD and damn proud of it.

  6. #6
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    #6: Don't mention all the cool ski buddies you met on the internet. At least, not on a first date.
    Note: this may not apply to girls or guys you also met on the internet.

    #7: If she doesn't know what the internet is, tell her that you're spancered.

  7. #7
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    When her friends are around, don't check out her friends...especially if they're female.
    Daniel Ortega eats here.

  8. #8
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    no matter how bad it itches, no matter how much you want to, don't, under any circumstances, tug/scratch/pull/shift/pinch your sack in front of her. If it must be done, distract her first by pointing over her shoulder and shouting, "Oh my god! That 1000 pound sea elephant just beached itself, oh the huge manatee!" Then take care of business.

  9. #9
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    #8 (and this one's basic) Remember her name
    Elvis has left the building

  10. #10
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    Don't let any of this become of you: https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...ad.php?t=31230

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by GFP
    no matter how bad it itches, no matter how much you want to, don't, under any circumstances, tug/scratch/pull/shift/pinch your sack in front of her. If it must be done, distract her first by pointing over her shoulder and shouting, "Oh my god! That 1000 pound sea elephant just beached itself, oh the huge manatee!" Then take care of business.
    I scratch my balls in front of my gilrfriend all the time and she doesn't care.


    If you are a big sports fan who can't control his mouth, don't watch sports with a girl that knows nothing about sports...

    If you DO watch sports with a non-sports fan girl, DO NOT scream "<insert name of player you hate, in my case, Ty Wiggington> makes my asshole pucker" when said player does something you can't stand.
    I'm in a band. It's called "Just the Tip."

  12. #12
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    #9. No matter how much fun you think it is with your friends don't ask her to pull your finger.

    #10. Don't yawn when she's talking.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaSucks
    I scratch my balls in front of my gilrfriend all the time and she doesn't care.
    Yea, but that's your girlfriend, these are date tips. As soon as you've tricked a girl into a longer term relationship by letting her think you're a non-tugger you can let lose and scratch those suckers till there red and swollen.

  14. #14
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    Exclamation

    #11 - On the first few dates, don't take her to a bar where you're WELL known.

    #12 - Don't make a huge scene about opening and shutting every door for her. (I have a cousin who does this)

    #13 - Always bring jimmies. Always.
    Last edited by 13; 06-17-2005 at 08:32 AM.
    Balls Deep in the 'Ho

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by 13
    #13 - Always bring jimmies. Always.
    Which flavor?

    "Holy Blower!" - Jeremy Jones

  16. #16
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    #14 Don't talk about your ex

    #15 Don't mention you are a virgin (when it applies to you)

    #16 Pay for everything
    More fucked up than a cricket in a hubcap

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by eDub
    Which flavor?


    Thread Hijack!!

    Why the fuck are sprinkles called "Jimmies" out East?????

    Oh, must be bored, here it is:

    People | The beloved jimmy could be lost

    A sprinkling of history for a name that's melting away.

    By Michael Vitez

    Inquirer Columnist


    Which came first, the jimmy or the sprinkle?

    Evidence suggests the jimmy.

    A far more important question for local readers is: Which will endure?

    Sadly, the sprinkle.

    The jimmy - at least as a piece of slang, an expression of local flavor - is doomed.

    "If it's not a dead term, it's a dying term," said Peter Georgas, vice president of Can-Pan Candy, the Toronto-based company that sells a million pounds of sprinkles every month.

    "I will rarely, rarely get on the phone with somebody who asks me for a jimmy," he said. "And if someone does ask me for a jimmy, he's an older man."

    The fact is that jimmies and sprinkles are the same thing, which is almost nothing, a wisp of sugar, oil, emulsifier (don't ask!) and coloring.

    But by any name, the world consumes about 50 million pounds a year, according to an industry expert - about 1.3 trillion sprinkles or jimmies, give or take a few hundred million.

    Mostly, they're sprinkled on ice cream. But if laid end to end, they would stretch 2.3 million miles, enough to circle the Earth nearly 100 times.

    This region - from Philadelphia to the Jersey Shore - historically has been jimmies territory.

    Jimmies - not sprinkles - have been on the menu for 53 years at the Custard Stand on Ridge Avenue in Philadelphia.

    "I don't bother people who call them sprinkles," said Vince Joyce, 21, a jimmies loyalist and employee for seven years. "But if you call them shots or dots or ants or black beads, I say something: 'You mean jimmies, right?' "

    Right across Ridge Avenue, at rival Dairyland, jimmies have been on the menu since the establishment opened 30 years ago.

    The present owner, Michael Kiedaish, 32, grew up with jimmies and says he will never change: "When someone tells you that something's a jimmy, it's a jimmy."

    But hints of extinction are everywhere, even in his own store.

    "The college people... they're all sprinkles," said Laurie Taylor, 23, who has worked the counter at Dairyland for eight years. "And the yogurt people are sprinkles. And kids all say rainbow sprinkles because it sounds more fun.

    "I grew up saying jimmies," she confessed, "but from working here so long, I've started calling them sprinkles."

    Sprinkles are encroaching everywhere. Old reliables like Kohr Brothers on the boardwalk in Ocean City are holding firm with jimmies, but upstarts like Ben & Jerry's on Rittenhouse Square? Sprinkles.

    At Daddy-O's Dairy Barn in Mount Laurel, owner Rob Cotton grew up in Northeast Philadelphia calling them jimmies, but on his menu he lists them as... sprinkles!

    "The distributors all call them sprinkles, so that's what I put on the menu board," he said.

    "This is the No. 1 question: Is there a difference? And where does the name come from? I must hear that three or four times a week."

    Here is some history:

    Back in the 1930s, the Just Born candy company of Bethlehem produced a topping called chocolate grains. The man who ran the machine that made these chocolate grains was named Jimmy Bartholomew.

    "Thus, his product became known as jimmies," said Ross Born, the chief executive officer. He was told this story by his grandfather and company founder, Sam Born. Just Born registered jimmies as its trademark, and continued producing jimmies until the mid-1960s - which is why the name was so popular here.

    The trademark expired and soon after, Just Born stopped making jimmies.

    This account, however, has been disputed.

    The Boston Globe investigated the origin of jimmies last winter after a reader inquired about a rumor that the term originally was racist - the idea being that some people refer only to chocolate ones as jimmies, and rainbow ones as sprinkles. Perhaps, the reader surmised, the word descended from Jim Crow.

    The Globe found no evidence of this, but did cite a commentary in 1986 on National Public Radio by the late Boston poet John Ciardi, who claimed: "From the time I was able to run to the local ice cream store clutching my first nickel, which must have been around 1922, no ice cream cone was worth having unless it was liberally sprinkled with jimmies."

    Ciardi, the Globe said, "dismissed Just Born as claim-jumpers looking to trademark someone else's sweet inspiration." His jimmies had come first.

    The truth may never be known.


    But what is undeniable, according to industry experts, is that jimmies gradually gave way to sprinkles, a more vivid and appealing name.

    For example, a world leader in sprinkles is QA Products outside Chicago. It started making sprinkles 10 years ago - under the brand name Sprinkle King.

    When Vince Joyce of the Custard Stand on Ridge Avenue gives his customers jimmies, he gets them from a Sprinkle King box.

    For the record, a chocolate sprinkle includes cocoa and offers a faint chocolate taste. But all rainbow colors taste exactly the same, which is to say, have virtually no taste.

    This was confirmed by Kasey Dougherty and Kathleen DeMichele of the Dairy Queen in Ocean City. On a rainy day last summer, they conducted a taste test - blindfolded.

    Neither could tell pink from yellow from green.

    "Nobody gets rainbow sprinkles for the flavor," Dougherty said. "They get them for the colors, and the crunch."

  18. #18
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    I'm sorry, but i think it's "back East" and "out West."

    Never heard "out East" before.
    Last edited by Pinner; 06-17-2005 at 09:46 AM.

  19. #19
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    Red face The morning after

    Don't make her hitch-hike home while you go skiing.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinner
    I'm sorry, but i think it's "back East" and "out West."

    Never heard "out East" before.
    You, sir are clearly an Easterner that has gone out West, whereas I started West and went "out" East!!
    Relativity is everything.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baconzoo
    Don't make her hitch-hike home while you go skiing.
    Only if you want a second date with her or her friends.
    Elvis has left the building

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viva
    When her friends are around, don't check out her friends...especially if they're female.

    Someone should have told this to the guys that would say hi to me and then talk to my gf.
    It's 5 o'clock somewhere.

  23. #23
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    #10....Don't make her sleep on the wet spot.
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  24. #24
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    Breath Mints if you're going to be eating garlic.
    "Don't drive angry."

    Best quote from the movie "Groundhog Day"

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by sea2ski
    Breath Mints if you're going to be eating garlic.
    Or for later if you eat her.
    Daniel Ortega eats here.

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