Get off my lawn. Seriously.

**BmillsSkier** · 06-24-2017, 10:02 PM

Sitting on the back deck enjoying some peace and damned quiet. Well, actually I'm enjoying some drinks, music, catching up on the phone and baseball when I see some lights come through the woods trying to be all sneaky.

Our yard straddles both sides of a small lake and lately I've noticed that it's become a popular spot for the kids to do the drinking on the other side leaving shit everywhere. Every now and then you'll get some kids just looking to toss in a line for some catfish, which I have no problem with.

I thought the latter was the case until I heard the loudmouths start bragging about how they were here a week or so ago getting trashed. (Yeah, I picked up about 30 cans after that Saturday night, fuckers) Which is when I set the dog on em and yelled out a loud "HEY! GET OUTTA HERE!"

Dog is a Border Collie and fast as shit and sounds like Cujo with full blown zombie AIDS when hes in guard dog mode. He made it from our perch on the upper deck down to the yard then onto the footbridge in just under two seconds when they heard my yell and scattered into the woods shedding what I now know to be about 15 cans of various shitty beer.

Best part was, the woods behind our property line are thicker than DD's every Tuesday night thing and their shorts and t shirts provided little protection as they frantically tried to run through them at full panic. The crowning achievement was one of them going smack into one of the 50 year old live oaks mid stride letting out a thud-squeal I haven't heard since my college girlfriend fell off my dorm-room top bunk mid-coitus.

Looks like I'm drinking BeastIceBudLightNattyWeiser for the rest of the night.

**irul&ublo** · 06-24-2017, 10:08 PM

Clint approves...

So does Ringo...

Commodus, not so much...

**Danno** · 06-24-2017, 10:09 PM

baller

**rideit** · 06-24-2017, 10:18 PM

It would be even better if you had caught and kept one of their wimmins

**huckbucket** · 06-24-2017, 10:30 PM

Pro tip ... wait until the skinny dipping begins before you sick the dog on em.

**digitaldeath** · 06-24-2017, 10:35 PM

Haha

Old fuck yelling at kids

**mcski** · 06-24-2017, 10:42 PM

Originally Posted by huckbucket

Pro tip ... wait until the skinny dipping begins before you sick the dog on em.

Steal the clothes first

**shroom** · 06-24-2017, 10:55 PM

do you catch poopfish in the lake?

**old goat** · 06-25-2017, 12:39 AM

Originally Posted by mcski

Steal the clothes first

Once when we were down in Puerto Penasco, some college kids got naked, drunk, and rowdy one night. A policeman came--he was surrounded and they took his gun. Then the army showed up and threw the kids into a box car and took them over to Hermasillo where they spent the rest of the weekend --without their clothes.

I have found Jimmy Rodgers on the outdoor speakers to be very effective in chasing undesirables--most kids don't care for yodeling (most old people don't care for it either). My dogs don't even scare cats--no use in scaring young whippersnappers.

**TBS** · 06-25-2017, 06:07 PM

Heh, when my grandfather was about 85 and living on the 160 acres remaining of the family farm, he sent Mom a letter with this passage (not verbatim, but real close):

"Last week somebody woke me up in the middle of the night, doin something about 80yds out in the barley. I opened the bedroom window and yelled get the hell outta here. But they didn't.

So I pulled the 357 from under the bed, set the barrel on the window sill, aimed barley high at the racket and pulled the trigger. Fire blew out the barrel, somebody screamed, and about a minute later a car started up down by the road. I went back to sleep.

Next morning I walked the line of that shot. Found girls underwear but no body or blood, so I guess I missed."

**digitaldeath** · 06-25-2017, 07:26 PM

Mah yard

Mah lake

**BmillsSkier** · 06-25-2017, 07:28 PM

Originally Posted by shroom

do you catch poopfish in the lake?

Not in years but apparently the lake's awash with snapper so I may have to see what I come up with.

**digitaldeath** · 06-25-2017, 07:29 PM

Haha I wonder wat the kids call you

Old man shithead

**iceman** · 06-25-2017, 07:40 PM

driveby bananaphone for no reason

**Mazderati** · 06-25-2017, 07:47 PM

Banana Phone Rebuttal

**iceman** · 06-25-2017, 08:06 PM

ouch.

**BmillsSkier** · 06-25-2017, 08:18 PM

Originally Posted by digitaldeath

Haha I wonder wat the kids call you

Old man shithead

Can't wait to see what kind of an asshole I become when I hit my 40s.

Originally Posted by iceman

driveby bananaphone for no reason

I've said it here before but I have an odd affinity for the bananaphone from my years in Cincinnati where Chiquita was headquartered and sponsored the rain delay "bananaphone" call in for Reds games. The sheer drunken idiocy you got a front row seat to every time they pulled out the tarp was fantastic.

Originally Posted by Mazderati

Banana Phone Rebuttal

Damn, you cold.

**Buster Highmen** · 06-25-2017, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by iceman

driveby bananaphone for no reason

cruel and unusuary punishment.

**Buster Highmen** · 06-25-2017, 08:41 PM

Originally Posted by digitaldeath

Haha I wonder wat the kids call you

Old man shithead

At least they didn't shoot at you. In tennis togs.

**bagtagley** · 06-25-2017, 09:49 PM

Drunk in hotel in Columbus and I thought about BMills. It's flat here and all the girls are wearing hiked up acid wash jeans with their asses hanging out. That may or may not be a regional phenomenon.

**BmillsSkier** · 06-25-2017, 10:20 PM

Originally Posted by bagtagley

Drunk in hotel in Columbus and I thought about BMills. It's flat here and all the girls are wearing hiked up acid wash jeans with their asses hanging out. That may or may not be a regional phenomenon.

It's been years since I've been in Cbus, but if you find yourself in Short North or the Arena districts the talent there was outstanding. A massive university will do that I guess, Maurice Clarett withstanding.

Then again, if you're outside downtown or Grandview staying drunk in a hotel might be a viable option.

**steff** · 06-26-2017, 05:24 AM

**Viva** · 06-26-2017, 05:47 AM

Originally Posted by bagtagley

Drunk in hotel in Columbus and I thought about BMills. It's flat here and all the girls are wearing hiked up acid wash jeans with their asses hanging out. That may or may not be a regional phenomenon.

How long you in town? I'll be in Cbus Wednesday afternoon. Free after 6:30 or so.

Sent from my XT1650 using TGR Forums mobile app

**Marshall Tucker** · 06-26-2017, 06:35 AM

ssssooooooo uncool dude. seriously. my buds and I were just tryin to get our buzz on before goin pharr road. Beer cans? your just gonna be out mowin tomorrow anyway whats the big deal? Dinja goto college once? I fucked up some serious expensive tournament shoes. Yippy ass dog.

Anyway, talked to the parents and thier gonna sue your ass.
AND they know yer boss.
so you been warned.

**BmillsSkier** · 06-26-2017, 07:12 AM

Originally Posted by MARSHALL TUCKER

ssssooooooo uncool dude. seriously. my buds and I were just tryin to get our buzz on before goin pharr road. Beer cans? your just gonna be out mowin tomorrow anyway whats the big deal? Dinja goto college once? I fucked up some serious expensive tournament shoes. Yippy ass dog.

Anyway, talked to the parents and thier gonna sue your ass.
AND they know yer boss.
so you been warned.

Heh. Talking to an old high school buddy about this reminded of the many times we got chased out of some drinkin spots. Way I see it is I just provided them with a memory to laugh about in 20 years.

Anyway, I think knowingly letting a bunch of teenagers drink in the backyard is a bad look. I'm sure they understand.