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  1. #1
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    Your best story from today

    OK. I'll cut to the chase on this. Started to write an essay about it. I came pretty close to making the national news yesterday. Came this close to getting in a fight in the middle of Arlington National Cemetery yesterday. Guy pussied out at the end, what a dick, the whole thing was him from the start.

    But anyways. I'm hoping this thread can be where you come when some crazy bullshit thing happened to you today.
    Last edited by iceman; 04-15-2017 at 10:10 PM.

  2. #2
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    Sure you don't want to finish your story first?

  3. #3
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    this is bullshit

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    OK. I'll cut to the chase on this. Started to write an essay about it. I came pretty close to making the national news yesterday. Came this close to getting in a fight in the middle of Arlington National Cemetery yesterday. Guy pussied out at the end, what a dick, the whole thing was him.

    But anyways. I'm hoping this thread can be where you come when some crazy bullshit thing happened to you today.
    Cool story bro.




    Mine:

    I was in Arlington National Cemetary, minding my own business, and some dick came out of nowhere and tried to fight me...in jeans.
    Quote Originally Posted by XXX-er View Post
    the situation strikes me as WAY too much drama at this point

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aldo View Post
    Sure you don't want to finish your story first?
    It would take a lot of typing.

  6. #6
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    Ok I wrote all this shit once and deleted it. Let me regroup.

    -serenity now-

    So.

    Son was home from college for the weekend, daughter was home too. For whatever reason the Bride thought going to Arlington National Cemetery would be a good family trip. Kids had never really been despite the fact we only live about 20 miles away. And it was actually okay. we spent some time soaking it in. Impressive place.

  7. #7
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    I rode a borrowed bike around Arlington stoned to beejeesus at dawn on Memorial Day after waking up hungover as fuck and just waved to some dudes in the booth as I rode in and rode around all the loops, taking a minute at the Kennedy site, then pedaled out wondering why all the road were wet but it hadn't rained and then remembered it was Memorial Day and there's probably some ceremony there not knowing the President was incoming as tradition dictates so I just waved again at the dudes in the booth and buzzed down the mall toward brunch and some more beers.

    Oh wait, from today. Never mind.
    Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
    And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
    It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
    and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.

    Patterson Hood of the DBT's

  8. #8
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    We go to the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Odd but impressive.

    There's probably 1000 people watching, and when it ends, there's basically one way out.

    It's a shitshow getting out of there because this guy and his family and their giant stroller with four kids on it are blocking ⅔ of the only path out.

    As we finally get past them, I say, in what I'm pretty sure was a neutral, matter-of-fact tone, "You guys are causing a traffic jam, you should move."

  9. #9
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    I didn't think a thing about it. went about my business.

  10. #10
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    About 5 minutes later, this guy pushing a stroller says, "Excuse me Sir". I don't know exactly when I turned into a Sir, but i was okay with it, I turned and asked what's up, and he strted fuknrantn.

    "HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO MOVE WHEN I'M THERE WITH MY DOWNS SYNDROME DAUGHTER?!??!!??"

    I'm like, wut?

    Dude you were in the way of a ton of people. Nobody could get out because of you. Had no idea about your daughter, but whatever, you were in everyone's way.

    Guy's like, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO? which is a valid point, if you're not in everyone's way.

    btw, we're literally like 5 feet from a sign that says something to the effect of "shut up and have some respect, you're on hallowed ground"

    My son steps in. He says, "Whatever happened, there's no need to escalate it." Very reasonable.

    The guy goes, "Yeah well, I'm not gonna not escalate it."

    Which is the quote of the year.

    But this guy was a wifebeater type, his whole family was behind him and din't say a word, you could tell his whole teaparty worldview was being challenged by the fact that I didn't give a fuck and that I would rather kick his ass than apologize.

    He ended up walking away, pushing the stroller, muttering under his breath.
    Last edited by iceman; 04-16-2017 at 08:57 AM.

  11. #11
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    Strollers are known to cause hormone imbalances in men.
    Scientists now have decisive molecular evidence that humans and chimpanzees once had a common momma and that this lineage had previously split from monkeys.

  12. #12
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    ^I lol'd.

    Crazy thing happened to me today: I got around to doing our taxes, and instead of paying we get a refund. I couldn't believe it. First time in years. Probably had to be there.

  13. #13
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    ^^^ Same crazy thing happened to me today, but the opposite. I think I would rather have been in a fight.

  14. #14
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    Fell asleep in the couch last night. Awoke at 5:30 AM. Said "fuck it" and went back to sleep on couch.
    Daniel Ortega eats here.

  15. #15
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    Went skiing on fresh snow under sunny skies with seven other maggots and their families. Great tailgate - burgers, brats, pad Thai, chicken chile and mucho cervesa. Much cannabis consumed throughout day.

  16. #16
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    Spring skiing in the Pacific Northwest was the label for yesterday. A few inches of new snow over variable base on most of the hill, but they hadn't run chair 6 all week. And in that week there was a bit of accumulation, nothing huDge, but enough to significantly sweeten the slide.

    The family had ditched skiing for the day so I roiled up solo early to position for the first bucket. It wasn't a particularly early load, but we did get going just before 9. At the top, I beelined down to the access lift to chair 6, and shortly found myself riding up that awesome little cirque.

    It's only about 900 vertical but there's just a whole panorama of chutes, lines through some trees, little cliffs and further out a traverse, a nice N/NE facing bowl commonly called the Throne Bowl whose furthest reaches are known colloquially as Hamburger Hill and the Hamburger Chutes.

    I nailed a couple of burner lines through the Throne in some thicker but bottomless pow with the sun fading in and out of those high spring clouds. Sun is a bit of an anomaly in the PNW and I honestly prefer the blasting storm days. But I have to admit the sun provided a satisfying contrast.

    One more lap I went out the gate at the end of Hamburger where the traverse continues to wrap around the shoulder of the Throne to Avalanche Basin which is a South/SE facing slope. The snow there seemed thinner and the firmament under the few inches of duff lived up to it's name. By the time I rolled back to the lift, the line had ballooned and I decided to blow it off. I'm moving increasingly to feeling that the virgin lines of pow are overrated and that I'd rather just rip a ton of laps in skied up soft if I can. So I made my way through the woods and weeds over to the base of the Rainier Express, REX as the local nomenclature has it.

    There I bumped into Oftpiste who was railing around with his progeny on the groimers off REX. So I joined them for a few laps. Thenhis thing #3 expressed a desire to be rid of the old people, so we went off on our own to poke around speeding groimers around the old stomping grounds in other parts of the mountain. Few lines, lots of vert was railed That was solid.

    Eventually we made our way back to chair 6 where the line had dissipated and rolled a bunch more laps out in the Throne running into PNWbrit and Scotsman50 with whom more roaring spins of giddy were had. Eventually the green isles duo expressed a desire to hike which oftpiste didn't share, so in breaking with my usual mien, I chose to do some more runs with oft.

    After some time, oft felt it was time to quit, having missed a bunch of the season due to injury and not feeling it by 1:30. So we parted and I returned to chair 6 where a gaggle of snowboarders were lining up to ride the lift single. So I pushed up and foisted myself on one of them, a black guy who turned out to be in the army but was from South L.A. He remarked on the difference between that snowy cirque and LA. We chatted and he asked where the best powder was, so I told him it was either the face of the Queen ("Powder Bowl" officially) or the Throne bowl. As we left the chair, he joined up with his buddies gaggling around at the top and I ripped down the traverse to the Throne bowl.

    Now this traverse has kind of a front and backside to it that converge where it flattens out a bit. So normally, people get up a goot head of steam zipping down the first part to keep up momentum on the flatter latter 2/3s of the traverse out to the Throne Bowl and the Southback gate.

    After that lap, I rode up again and repeated with the intent to hike out to Silver King in Southback. As I came burning off the upper third of the traverse and out of the trees to the convergence, there sat
    the gaggle of snowboarders right in the middle of the traverse. I pulled some sharp maneuvers to thread through some trees around them and as I went by I said: ..."bad place to stop, you're clogging the traverse...". I do not know what their reaction was, I had the plan in mind.

    So the old man clicked out at the Southback gate and herfed it up the first part of the traverse to halfway up the throne. Then donned the skis again for the traverse sidestep hell to the saddle between the King and the Throne and eventually clicked out again to put the skis on the backpack and laboriously lumber up the bootpack to the top of the King.

    It was a glorious afternoon, nearly 3 o'clock and most of the agro vibe had dispersed with only a few people at the top. After some water and adjustments I took my favorite path down to a slot rarely skied and sure enough there was 1 track in it. There was a smattering of avie debris visible since the entrance is prone to cornice collapse. But I dove in anyway and the debris chunks turned out to be light and blew up in explosions of pow on the edges of shadow and sun.

    After a little reflection down on the flats, I skated back to the groimers and arced a wad of stupid slow stoner slices back down to the parking lot where I jawed it up with the cadre of the day, dumped the goretex and steered the sled for home.
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  17. #17
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    ^^The story of my life...

  18. #18
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    I went skiing with my drinking team
    Move upside and let the man go through...

  19. #19
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    Is it sunny up @ Alpy? I'm waffling about going up or making waffles. It's cloudy down here in the pit.
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  20. #20
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    The only time I was ever at Arlington, it was a beautiful day like today, Spring, I'm pretty sure. We did the long walk up the hill, and, yes, a moving experience. Got to the tomb of the unknown soldier just as the guards had changed, so there was a crowd of people leaving in our face. They were quite chatty and loud, like they were leaving a Disney attraction. All of a sudden, the new guard, a very spit and polish white Marine, as you could imagine, (the spit and polish part, not the white thing) stops his slow march, stands erect, and shouts "PLEASE, RESPECT THE DEAD BURIED HERE AND STOP MAKING SO MUCH NOISE! .................................................. ...........................................THANK YOU!"
    You could suddenly hear a pin drop. Then he continued his back and forth march.



    Then we walked further uphill and found Robert E Lees old plantation. I never knew until that moment that Arlington was his (or actually, his wife's) confiscated land.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    Then we walked further uphill and found Robert E Lees old plantation. I never knew until that moment that Arlington was his (or actually, his wife's) confiscated land.
    Yeah that was a big and well-deserved "fuck you" to Lee, that traitor.

  22. #22
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    Did the assignment change? I've never been to Arlington Cemetery, but yesterday was an excellent day.
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  23. #23
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    I don't think there's a way to quantify how much I fucking hate Easter. The only reason I came home for the weekend was to see my dad for his 60th. Was planning to go fishing with him seeing as there are GORILLA bluefish around. Well, dad is sick so I go out solo this am with no bites. I figure, no biggie I'll head back to the house to regroup and eat, see if the old man wants to come back out with me. WWOOOAHH wait a second, can't go back out cause mom invited a bunch of relatives over without telling me… hors d'oeuvres at 1. Well fuck me, haven't been to a church in over a decade why are we celebrating Easter?!

    I guess it could be worse, I could hate my relatives. Just wish we didn't have to cave to their religious bullshit every year.

    /rant

  24. #24
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    Serve rabbit hors d'oeuvres ?
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buster Highmen View Post
    Is it sunny up @ Alpy? I'm waffling about going up or making waffles. It's cloudy down here in the pit.
    Filtered sunshine right now, full freeze overnight. I'm going to putter around with the Mrs. over at Silver fir for the early am before heading to Alpental.
    Move upside and let the man go through...

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