If some asshole keeps playing Don McLean I'm gonna snap.

**BmillsSkier** · 11-04-2016, 07:28 PM

Not tonight motherfucker. Not in my bar.

Whoever decided to make jukeboxes smartphone accessible has never been to a decent bar in their lives.

**Benny Profane** · 11-04-2016, 07:32 PM

Wait until the Billy Joel shit starts.

**BmillsSkier** · 11-04-2016, 07:43 PM

It's like every gotdamned couple between 35-45 in my neighborhood got a sitter and simultaneously decided to try that "divey-looking place nearby".

The cackles are already in peak crescendo. I'm looking for you McLean motherfucker.

**Meadow Skipper** · 11-04-2016, 07:43 PM

Let me have another round, and $5 worth of quarters for the juke box:

**iceman** · 11-04-2016, 08:12 PM

You guys aren't even trying.

RIP Don, you was cool.

**JimmyCarter** · 11-04-2016, 08:54 PM

**digitaldeath** · 11-04-2016, 09:16 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

Not tonight motherfucker. Not in my bar.

You're in a movie

**groundcontrol323** · 11-04-2016, 11:00 PM

Some good bar trolling

http://www.vice.com/read/i-played-th...kicked-out-832

**Mazderati** · 11-04-2016, 11:23 PM

^ T. Faust has a new fan.

**highangle** · 11-04-2016, 11:32 PM

...
...
...

**BmillsSkier** · 11-04-2016, 11:49 PM

Originally Posted by groundcontrol323

Some good bar trolling

http://www.vice.com/read/i-played-th...kicked-out-832

Pfft. In the old days of no bartender kill-switch I witnessed a buddy plug the juke with 2112 and walk out. On another occasion he played The Outfield's greatest hits for $15 in a row. That's 2x through the album.

His best troll in the modern era was jukebombing us via the remote app (once the 'box went modern) with Stephen Bishop's On and On multiple times as he was states away on vacation.

**wyeaster** · 11-05-2016, 12:00 AM

Originally Posted by groundcontrol323

Some good bar trolling

http://www.vice.com/read/i-played-th...kicked-out-832

good laugh

**SkiCougar** · 11-05-2016, 09:11 AM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

It's like every gotdamned couple between 35-45 in my neighborhood got a sitter and simultaneously decided to try that "divey-looking place nearby".

The cackles are already in peak crescendo. I'm looking for you McLean motherfucker.

If it's a true dive bar, you should be expecting that. Those guys only go to dive bars, you never see them at a bar that starts getting a line after 9pm. imo, it's the reverse that is worse, about the last place rhianna, kanye and taylor swift should be played is there; but some fool will come in and play that crap.

**old goat** · 11-05-2016, 10:25 AM

Back in college this guy kept playing American Pie non stop, over and over again night after night at the co-op. I hated that song the first time I heard it--after 50 times it was really getting to me. I finally destroyed it by jumping up as high as I could (back when I actually had a vertical leap) and landing hard on my heels, making the needle on the turntable scratch the record so it was ruined. That's one thing you can't do with an MP3.

**hutash** · 11-05-2016, 11:18 AM

No, but a hammer is pretty effect.

**BmillsSkier** · 11-05-2016, 12:34 PM

Ok so I'm a little fuzzy today but last night, inspired by this thread of mine, my old college juke-bombing buddy's antics, and a lot, I mean a lot of Budweiser and Jäger, turned into a hilarious battle over the jukebox at my beloved dive bar.

As mentioned the entirety of my neighborhood seemed to be at my bar. Which is fine, I like my neighbors and I have a lot in common with most of them. I just don't like it when my one safe space for debauchery, accessible narcotics, leaning pool table and bad decisions becomes a blend of a mandatory after-work mixer, and young mom's night out: sponsored by Chardonnay. (Which disappointed many of the ladies of the hood when they found out my (ok, my wife's and my bar) serves wine in three flavors: red white and pink)

As mentioned it started when a couple of the neighborhood bro-dads decided to do their best yelling rendition of Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute's take on McLean's American Pie. Once was bad enough. 3 times was excruciating. I never knew how long this song was till last night. Each time through these two normally nice guys, and hosts of all parties for neighborhood kids, would belt out the refrain as loud as they could only to trail off to a mumble for the verse words. Loud drunken mumbling.

We have a surly bartender who is known for good conversation with those of us he likes when the bar is 2 rows deep. He has a kill switch for the jukebox and he refuses to use it. "Don't like it, get up there and play your own music", he grunted to us as he dropped off another round of house wine; Jäger, taking at least his 6th shot of the night.

The McLean stopped long enough for the wives to get a couple selections. Lots of Elton John, which is normally fine, but then came the Beiber and Taylor Swift. No. fucking. Way.

Armed with fistfuls of singles (the box cc slot hasn't worked since someone poured beer in it when their card was declined, and for some reason it eats larger bills giving no plays in return.) we lined up. Stupid us though, we forgot the AMI BarLink app was still enabled on the damned thing. The 4 of us loaded up the thing with usual stuff. Classic rock, classic hip hop, pixies, southern rock... I jammed as many Stones deep cuts, Beasties, and Doolittle as I could get out of my $10.

I think I heard the first 2 of my selections before people in the drunken HoA group caught on. That's when it got weird.

First up was a rock block of Steve Perry: Dont Stop Believin, Faithfully, Wheel in the Sky, followed by not one more but two more plays of Don't Stop believin . I was kinda not too annoyed till that last part.

Next up came something from an angry patron on our side of the bar. I think it was something Jer would pet kittens to.

More McLean. Dear God, they're singing again.

Loud and I mean loud yells of "STOP PLAYING THIS SHIT" were the opening lines of whatever came next on the box.

Bieber followed by Ramblin Man, back to NKOTB, more Journey, Cant You Hear Me Knockin (thank God), more Jäger, more McLean (the yelling/singing more pronounced as they learned the words to a few more verses), general anger and displeasure... that fucking Blurred Lines song... and then some kind soul with a good sense of humor decided to put a stop to our two warring sides of the bar.

First up was the National Anthem. No one kneeled but one regular old timer drunk did yell for a couple guys to take their hats off. Next up was genius: Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas followed by WHAM!'s Last Christmas back, to back, to back, to back. No fewer than 8 plays of 90s Christmas pop in a row.

That did it. It killed the bar. The HoA meeting broke up. My wife told me I just repeated the same story to her for the third time, and they ran out of beer on the remaining two taps that still worked when we arrived 5 hours earlier.

The juke box Santa must have spent a ton to plug all those tunes back to back and to skip what had to be 40 songs ahead of it to get his/her point across. And I'm so glad they did.

Once this headache wears off and I can get American Pie out of my head I'm thinking of going to chop down this year's tree. I'm in the spirit now.

**joetron** · 11-05-2016, 03:33 PM

Originally Posted by JimmyCarter

Yes! I was just about to start looking for this clip.

The first time I heard this I was driving and I had to pull over I was laughing so hard.

**BmillsSkier** · 11-05-2016, 06:34 PM

Originally Posted by joetron

Yes! I was just about to start looking for this clip.

The first time I heard this I was driving and I had to pull over I was laughing so hard.

Just listened to that. Fucking hilarious!

"No man wait, what if we mix one It's Not Unusual in there?" Had me in tears.

**abraham** · 11-05-2016, 07:09 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

Ok so I'm a little fuzzy today but last night, inspired by this thread of mine, my old college juke-bombing buddy's antics, and a lot, I mean a lot of Budweiser and Jäger, turned into a hilarious battle over the jukebox at my beloved dive bar.

As mentioned the entirety of my neighborhood seemed to be at my bar. Which is fine, I like my neighbors and I have a lot in common with most of them. I just don't like it when my one safe space for debauchery, accessible narcotics, leaning pool table and bad decisions becomes a blend of a mandatory after-work mixer, and young mom's night out: sponsored by Chardonnay. (Which disappointed many of the ladies of the hood when they found out my (ok, my wife's and my bar) serves wine in three flavors: red white and pink)

As mentioned it started when a couple of the neighborhood bro-dads decided to do their best yelling rendition of Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute's take on McLean's American Pie. Once was bad enough. 3 times was excruciating. I never knew how long this song was till last night. Each time through these two normally nice guys, and hosts of all parties for neighborhood kids, would belt out the refrain as loud as they could only to trail off to a mumble for the verse words. Loud drunken mumbling.

We have a surly bartender who is known for good conversation with those of us he likes when the bar is 2 rows deep. He has a kill switch for the jukebox and he refuses to use it. "Don't like it, get up there and play your own music", he grunted to us as he dropped off another round of house wine; Jäger, taking at least his 6th shot of the night.

The McLean stopped long enough for the wives to get a couple selections. Lots of Elton John, which is normally fine, but then came the Beiber and Taylor Swift. No. fucking. Way.

Armed with fistfuls of singles (the box cc slot hasn't worked since someone poured beer in it when their card was declined, and for some reason it eats larger bills giving no plays in return.) we lined up. Stupid us though, we forgot the AMI BarLink app was still enabled on the damned thing. The 4 of us loaded up the thing with usual stuff. Classic rock, classic hip hop, pixies, southern rock... I jammed as many Stones deep cuts, Beasties, and Doolittle as I could get out of my $10.

I think I heard the first 2 of my selections before people in the drunken HoA group caught on. That's when it got weird.

First up was a rock block of Steve Perry: Dont Stop Believin, Faithfully, Wheel in the Sky, followed by not one more but two more plays of Don't Stop believin . I was kinda not too annoyed till that last part.

Next up came something from an angry patron on our side of the bar. I think it was something Jer would pet kittens to.

More McLean. Dear God, they're singing again.

Loud and I mean loud yells of "STOP PLAYING THIS SHIT" were the opening lines of whatever came next on the box.

Bieber followed by Ramblin Man, back to NKOTB, more Journey, Cant You Hear Me Knockin (thank God), more Jäger, more McLean (the yelling/singing more pronounced as they learned the words to a few more verses), general anger and displeasure... that fucking Blurred Lines song... and then some kind soul with a good sense of humor decided to put a stop to our two warring sides of the bar.

First up was the National Anthem. No one kneeled but one regular old timer drunk did yell for a couple guys to take their hats off. Next up was genius: Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas followed by WHAM!'s Last Christmas back, to back, to back, to back. No fewer than 8 plays of 90s Christmas pop in a row.

That did it. It killed the bar. The HoA meeting broke up. My wife told me I just repeated the same story to her for the third time, and they ran out of beer on the remaining two taps that still worked when we arrived 5 hours earlier.

The juke box Santa must have spent a ton to plug all those tunes back to back and to skip what had to be 40 songs ahead of it to get his/her point across. And I'm so glad they did.

Once this headache wears off and I can get American Pie out of my head I'm thinking of going to chop down this year's tree. I'm in the spirit now.

This may be your best post ever

**BmillsSkier** · 11-05-2016, 09:39 PM

Originally Posted by Dromontana

BmillsSkier: true mfing patriot, that's funny stuff.

Originally Posted by abraham

This may be your best post ever

Appreciate it fellas. My liver and eardrums took a beating, and I got out a box of Christmas lights today without even thinking about what I was doing, but I think it was all worth it.

**BmillsSkier** · 02-07-2017, 03:29 PM

Another week to Hampton Inn hell on the merger project so I decide to hit up the happy hour down the road to unwind.

Instantly my ears are assaulted by Don fucking McLean's American Pie. And you know what follows it up?

The Boys Are Back In Town.

I nearly lost my shit on one hand then another laughing about the "Boys are Back" story from this thread.

Anyway. I'm getting drunk at the end of the bar taking in the scents of the not too surprisingly attractive wait staff -although the smell of Victoria's Secret perfume is a lot much. More to follow I'm sure.

**The Reverend Floater** · 02-07-2017, 04:09 PM

Gwar, Sexecutioner.

/Thread

**BmillsSkier** · 02-07-2017, 04:38 PM

These don't seem like Birmingham Gwar fans. I'll check though.

**Benny Profane** · 02-07-2017, 05:22 PM

I was just in a brewery/eatery in Stowe. Great burger, meh beer, nice place. But the soundtrack was way too classicy, even though I enjoy the Carpenters more than you would think. As I'm paying my check, I couldn't believe my ears. A fucking Barry Manilow thing, all soft and romantic. What the fuck? Has he become retro?

**MagnificentUnicorn** · 02-07-2017, 05:26 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

Another week to Hampton Inn hell on the merger project so I decide to hit up the happy hour down the road to unwind.

Instantly my ears are assaulted by Don fucking McLean's American Pie. And you know what follows it up?

The Boys Are Back In Town.

I nearly lost my shit on one hand then another laughing about the "Boys are Back" story from this thread.

Anyway. I'm getting drunk at the end of the bar taking in the scents of the not too surprisingly attractive wait staff -although the smell of Victoria's Secret perfume is a lot much. More to follow I'm sure.

I think you might need some Xanax.