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  1. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by frorider View Post
    Pretty sure Kurt's #1 fave was this:

    Ho-leeeee fuck. That's like the end all, be all of nuclear meltdown shit-music. It has to be.

    That's the album that's played as the world burns and only one asshole is laughing; Don McLean.


    I can't even deal with icemans post right now I'm so blown away by that apocalyptic album.
    I still call it The Jake.

  2. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by BmillsSkier View Post
    I still can't believe that anyone actually likes American Pie that much to hear it twice.

    One year in college I moved in with 5 frat boys and American Pie was their chapter's anthem. Multiple plays with a bunch of douches singing along. Couldn't stand it then and 20 years later its no better.

  3. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flounder View Post
    One year in college I moved in with 5 frat boys and American Pie was their chapter's anthem. Multiple plays with a bunch of douches singing along. Couldn't stand it then and 20 years later its no better.
    That's an affirmative defense to murder in some states.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dromontana View Post
    A long long time ago
    I can still remember how
    That music used to make me smile
    And I knew if I had my chance
    That I could make those people dance
    And maybe they'd be happy for a while
    But February made me shiver
    With every paper I'd deliver
    Bad news on the doorstep
    I couldn't take one more step
    I can't remember if I cried
    When I read about his widowed bride
    Something touched me deep inside
    The day the music died

    So
    Bye, bye Miss American Pie
    Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
    And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye
    Singin' this'll be the day that I die
    This'll be the day that I die
    Mean. Uncalled for and mean.
    I still call it The Jake.

  4. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by BmillsSkier View Post
    That's an affirmative defense to murder in some states.



    Mean. Uncalled for and mean.
    Mean is a shitty, full nude club in Las Vegas where you or the girls had to put your own money in the Juke Box for entertainment music. My buddy loaded it with a $20 and played Crazy Town "Butterfly" 10 times in a row. By the third play, the bouncer, bartenders and girls realized what was going on and we were drunk and laughing our asses off, we were thrown out. Of course it was still blaring in the background.

  5. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by BmillsSkier View Post
    Ok so I'm a little fuzzy today but last night, inspired by this thread of mine, my old college juke-bombing buddy's antics, and a lot, I mean a lot of Budweiser and Jäger, turned into a hilarious battle over the jukebox at my beloved dive bar.

    As mentioned the entirety of my neighborhood seemed to be at my bar. Which is fine, I like my neighbors and I have a lot in common with most of them. I just don't like it when my one safe space for debauchery, accessible narcotics, leaning pool table and bad decisions becomes a blend of a mandatory after-work mixer, and young mom's night out: sponsored by Chardonnay. (Which disappointed many of the ladies of the hood when they found out my (ok, my wife's and my bar) serves wine in three flavors: red white and pink)

    As mentioned it started when a couple of the neighborhood bro-dads decided to do their best yelling rendition of Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute's take on McLean's American Pie. Once was bad enough. 3 times was excruciating. I never knew how long this song was till last night. Each time through these two normally nice guys, and hosts of all parties for neighborhood kids, would belt out the refrain as loud as they could only to trail off to a mumble for the verse words. Loud drunken mumbling.

    We have a surly bartender who is known for good conversation with those of us he likes when the bar is 2 rows deep. He has a kill switch for the jukebox and he refuses to use it. "Don't like it, get up there and play your own music", he grunted to us as he dropped off another round of house wine; Jäger, taking at least his 6th shot of the night.

    The McLean stopped long enough for the wives to get a couple selections. Lots of Elton John, which is normally fine, but then came the Beiber and Taylor Swift. No. fucking. Way.

    Armed with fistfuls of singles (the box cc slot hasn't worked since someone poured beer in it when their card was declined, and for some reason it eats larger bills giving no plays in return.) we lined up. Stupid us though, we forgot the AMI BarLink app was still enabled on the damned thing. The 4 of us loaded up the thing with usual stuff. Classic rock, classic hip hop, pixies, southern rock... I jammed as many Stones deep cuts, Beasties, and Doolittle as I could get out of my $10.

    I think I heard the first 2 of my selections before people in the drunken HoA group caught on. That's when it got weird.

    First up was a rock block of Steve Perry: Dont Stop Believin, Faithfully, Wheel in the Sky, followed by not one more but two more plays of Don't Stop believin . I was kinda not too annoyed till that last part.

    Next up came something from an angry patron on our side of the bar. I think it was something Jer would pet kittens to.

    More McLean. Dear God, they're singing again.

    Loud and I mean loud yells of "STOP PLAYING THIS SHIT" were the opening lines of whatever came next on the box.

    Bieber followed by Ramblin Man, back to NKOTB, more Journey, Cant You Hear Me Knockin (thank God), more Jäger, more McLean (the yelling/singing more pronounced as they learned the words to a few more verses), general anger and displeasure... that fucking Blurred Lines song... and then some kind soul with a good sense of humor decided to put a stop to our two warring sides of the bar.

    First up was the National Anthem. No one kneeled but one regular old timer drunk did yell for a couple guys to take their hats off. Next up was genius: Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas followed by WHAM!'s Last Christmas back, to back, to back, to back. No fewer than 8 plays of 90s Christmas pop in a row.

    That did it. It killed the bar. The HoA meeting broke up. My wife told me I just repeated the same story to her for the third time, and they ran out of beer on the remaining two taps that still worked when we arrived 5 hours earlier.

    The juke box Santa must have spent a ton to plug all those tunes back to back and to skip what had to be 40 songs ahead of it to get his/her point across. And I'm so glad they did.

    Once this headache wears off and I can get American Pie out of my head I'm thinking of going to chop down this year's tree. I'm in the spirit now.
    An old friend of mine, who was there that fateful night described above, has been sending me Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas all. fucking. day. Emailed youtube videos to all my accounts, texts with autoplay, phone calls left on my vm. I was recently paged in the office by a Ms. Carey holding for me. I'm dying laughing and it gave me an opportunity to think about that epic night one more time.

    If I get in my car and that song is on that will be some next level trolling.
    I still call it The Jake.

  6. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by BmillsSkier View Post
    An old friend of mine, who was there that fateful night described above, has been sending me Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas all. fucking. day. Emailed youtube videos to all my accounts, texts with autoplay, phone calls left on my vm. I was recently paged in the office by a Ms. Carey holding for me. I'm dying laughing and it gave me an opportunity to think about that epic night one more time.

    If I get in my car and that song is on that will be some next level trolling.

    someone sent this for you, bmills:

    swing your fucking sword.

  7. #82
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    Now we're all cursed.
    Click image for larger version. 

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    Sent from my SM-G935P using TGR Forums mobile app

  8. #83
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  9. #84
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    LOL.

    Today has truly been a gift of Mariah. I’m now well over 100 touches with texts emails and a radio station dedication. My heart is so full.
    I still call it The Jake.

  10. #85
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    Used to be able to put the “last” song on Nevermind on (cd jukebox) and then get a lengthy break between that song and the final bonus track.

  11. #86
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    As I posted in some other thread, I was reminded of this during my trip to Spain last winter.

  12. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by BmillsSkier View Post
    LOL.

    Today has truly been a gift of Mariah. I’m now well over 100 touches with texts emails and a radio station dedication. My heart is so full.
    Well here’s Touch 101

    Mazel tov!

  13. #88
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    Fun fact.

    American pie was released as a 45 record.

    You had to physically and affirmatively get up and choose to finish the song by flipping over the record.

    Now stop bumping this thread!
    Just reading the title is giving me an awful ear worm
    . . .

  14. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Core Shot View Post
    Fun fact.

    American pie was released as a 45 record.

    You had to physically and affirmatively get up and choose to finish the song by flipping over the record.

    Now stop bumping this thread!
    Just reading the title is giving me an awful ear worm
    What kind of fucking masochist turns it over?
    I still call it The Jake.

  15. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by TBS View Post
    Well here’s Touch 101

    Mazel tov!
    Bwahahaha!
    No longer stuck.

    Quote Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn View Post
    Just an uneducated guess.

  16. #91
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    Oh for fucks sake.

    Beautiful warm spring weather is here and the first free festival of the season in town is this weekend and wouldn’t you fucking know it.

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    I still call it The Jake.

  17. #92
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    He’s only on from 2:45 to 4:30

    So that’s two American pie renditions?

    I expect a full TR

    Just think of the Chardonnay girls with goop vaginas and ozone buttholes.

  18. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by BmillsSkier View Post
    Oh for fucks sake.

    Beautiful warm spring weather is here and the first free festival of the season in town is this weekend and wouldn’t you fucking know it.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    That is quite a lineup.

  19. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brownski View Post
    That is quite a lineup.
    Just noticed Hanson is headlining. Is that chick still cute?

  20. #95
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    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  21. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by Core Shot View Post
    He’s only on from 2:45 to 4:30

    So that’s two American pie renditions?

    I expect a full TR

    Just think of the Chardonnay girls with goop vaginas and ozone buttholes.
    Oh there will be much of all the above.

    I’m guessing he opens and closes with American Pie. Just like when Bret Michaels played another free festival in town a few years back and opened with Every Rose Has its Thorn, and then closed with an acoustic version.
    Quote Originally Posted by Brownski View Post
    That is quite a lineup.
    The year before the Pandemic we walked up and it was Spindoctors followed by Jacob Dylan and the Wallflowers. Spindoctors still sounded exactly the same. Just a lot less Alexi Lalas style hair.

    Quote Originally Posted by JimmyCarter View Post
    Just noticed Hanson is headlining. Is that chick still cute?
    Which one?
    I still call it The Jake.

  22. #97
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    you see a tie dye disc in there?
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    no nickelback, manager missed an opportunity

  23. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by BmillsSkier View Post


    Which one?

  24. #99
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    One of the hottest and craziest girls I ever dated was a huge Hanson fan. It was probably 15 years after mmmbop.

  25. #100
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    Did someone mention pie?

    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy

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