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Thread: Bad Joke Thread
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03-03-2016, 10:25 AM #51
Used Register
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A man walking past the Olympic stadium carrying a long case is stopped by a guard.
"Are you a pole vaulter?" the guard asks
The man replies "No, I'm German actually; but how did you know my name was Walter?"Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
>>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<
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03-03-2016, 01:08 PM #52
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My dawg has no noes.
How duz he smell?
Awful.watch out for snakes
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03-03-2016, 02:36 PM #53
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What do you call a deer without eyes?
No I-deer.I still call it The Jake.
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03-03-2016, 06:40 PM #54
music is the best
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What's the difference between jam and jelly?
I can't jelly my cock in your ass
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03-04-2016, 11:19 AM #55
A very naughty rodent
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If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on a boat and it sinks, who survives?
America.
Just kidding. It's Hillary- Bill says she never goes down.Daniel Ortega eats here.
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03-04-2016, 09:03 PM #56
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Remember the ads in 2008 about whether you'd want Hillary or Barry when the phone in the White House rings at 3AM?
Hillary: " Bill, where the fuck are you?"
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03-04-2016, 09:45 PM #57
On to a five-year plan
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How did the boy scouts describe their camping trip?
In-tents.
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03-05-2016, 12:28 AM #58
MTS
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I actually laughed at That.
Originally Posted by Buster Highmen
What's Forrest gumps password? 1forrest1
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03-05-2016, 09:45 AM #59
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My friend has a trophy wife, but apparently it wasn't first place.
Gravity Junkie
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03-05-2016, 10:04 AM #60
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A chicken and an egg just had great sex, and the egg takes a pull from his cigarette and says, "well, I guess we solved that question".
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03-05-2016, 11:58 AM #61
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Bob Weir used that joke in a Dead show decades ago. Originally Posted by scottyb
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03-05-2016, 02:52 PM #62
Session Cat
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What is fifty feet long and has two teeth? The funnel cake line at the Arkansas State Fair.
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
I bought my shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
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03-05-2016, 04:33 PM #63
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Originally Posted by Mudfoot
I still call it The Jake.
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03-05-2016, 08:23 PM #64
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Actually, it's Stephen Wright and not Rodney.
Gravity Junkie
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03-05-2016, 10:42 PM #65
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What's black and white and red and can't turn around in an elevator?
A nun with a javelin through her head.
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03-06-2016, 09:59 AM #66
Formerly someone else!
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What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy . , . and the other is a little lighter!
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03-06-2016, 10:02 AM #67
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I had no idea. It just sounded like Rodney when I read it and laughed. I can see Stephen Wright too now. Originally Posted by Mudfoot
I still call it The Jake.
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03-06-2016, 10:35 AM #68
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for the ancient ones here, it could be a Henny Youngman joke Originally Posted by BmillsSkier
"fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
"She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
"everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy
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03-06-2016, 11:25 AM #69
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Take my wife, please!
Gravity Junkie
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03-06-2016, 11:36 AM #70
"The Harmonizer"
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I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. Originally Posted by Danno
Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.
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03-06-2016, 03:42 PM #71
The leading edge of cool
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Did you hear about the dyslexic that walked into a bra?
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
Science-fiction author Robert Heinlein
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03-06-2016, 03:56 PM #72
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Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa? Originally Posted by InspectorGadget
No longer stuck.
Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn
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03-06-2016, 06:38 PM #73
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that one is Henny Youngman Originally Posted by Mudfoot
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03-08-2016, 06:38 AM #74
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Never believe anything an Atom says....
They make up everything.People should learn endurance; they should learn to endure the discomforts of heat and cold, hunger and thirst; they should learn to be patient when receiving abuse and scorn; for it is the practice of endurance that quenches the fire of worldly passions which is burning up their bodies.
--Buddha
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www.skiclinics.com
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03-08-2016, 07:27 AM #75
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This is the best thread on TGR
A repete
Whats the difference between a tele chick and a hockey team?
The hockey team takes a shower after 3 periods.watch out for snakes
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