So I Need to quit drinking or the lady is leaving me.

[raisingarizona13]

Ya. that's about it. Thoughts? Insight? Any one else make this move? Thanks.

[plugboots]

You'll feel better physically too. BFD. Do it.

[assman]

The real question is how do you feel about " the old lady" ?

[digitaldeath]

you got other bitches lined up or this is your only one?

[mall walker]

Shitty. I'd give it a week or two of not drinking, then think about weighing the pros/cons. Hard to argue with being healthier, but at the same time nobody's gonna live forever... what's the deal with the lady? Married, kids, been together long? She have issues with alcoholic family members or substance abuse herself? Lot of things can come into play. Do you think you have a problem?

[Adolf Allerbush]

Ya. that's about it. Thoughts? Insight? Any one else make this move? Thanks.

My first thought is do you think you have a problem with the booze? Has your drinking changed/increased since you first met?

[Danno]

not enough info there.

first, do you think your drinking is a problem? does anyone else? is she saying "no drinking at all, period"?

the ultimatum nature of it is problematic, but if you're an alcoholic, maybe she's right.

[Cruiser]

The real question is how do you feel about " the old lady" ?

Was just thinking the same thing. She'd have to be a purty nice gal to make me give up the sauce. That said, I see that your location is listed as Paradise. Y'all got the legal weed there yet?

[Bromontana]

Quit man, booze is literally poison. I've taken a few, multiweek breaks lately because I'm more or less doing 2 jobs. And not having booze in my system means better sleep, better energy, less belly to work off, etc.

If you can, a little weed after work or whenever your normal drinking 'trigger point' hits can eliminate the urge or at least make other activities enjoyable enough to stay dry. The whole point of these things is to change your mindset and take care of frustration, stress, anxiety or the like. If you can work on ways to accomplish this without the bottle, you are in a great position to modify your lifestyle long term.

Best wishes.

edit: assuming you created this thread bc there's some legitimacy to the lady's claim. If there isn't, I'm not the guy for advice on that issue!

[hawkgt]

as a child of 2 alcoholics and have faced over drinking from time to time.... only do it for yourself.

There is hope and many challenges on the way, this is for you dude, no one else.

[doughboyshredder]

Ya. that's about it. Thoughts? Insight? Any one else make this move? Thanks.

Best decision that I have made in my entire life. Something like 6 years now. Life is generally better than I ever expected.

[hikesalot]

total speculation without more information, but often an ultimatum is given when a person can't just have a drink or two and it gets in the way of things (being productive around the house, going out to do things, etc). Do it for yourself - you'll feel better and less depressed also.

[raisingarizona13]

She is awesome.

It's a manageable problem, if that makes sense.

I'm not a beater, drunk driver, or anything extreme but it's still a thing.

[wicked_sick]

Ultimatums suck. I've stopped for a few months at a time and highly recommend it. I lost weight, felt healthier and improved pretty much every relationship I had... Friends, family, etc. Don't do it for her. Do it for yourself. If you need help, check out SMART recovery or Refuge recovery. They are alternatives to the AA/12 step program.

[twodogs]

I'm guessing a little bit of a bender over Thanksgiving?

[hikesalot]

She is awesome.

It's a manageable problem, if that makes sense.

I'm not a beater, drunk driver, or anything extreme but it's still a thing.

what are some of the behaviors that you display as a result of the drinking that she doesn't like? Do you stay up late drinking and don't go to bed with her? Come to bed drunk or sleep on the couch (often)? Go out and she always has to drive home? Sleep the day away because you are hungover? Drink all day and she's worried about you being buzzed while taking care of kids and the decisions you might make? All of those behaviors get old after a while and most women don't want to live like that forever.

I come from a family of alcoholics. It's not fun.

[mall walker]

She is awesome.

It's a manageable problem, if that makes sense.

I'm not a beater, drunk driver, or anything extreme but it's still a thing.

I've been there. It's worth stepping away from for a while. If you let it slide too far it can become an all-or-nothing kind of thing, even just from the perspective of your health.

[schwerty]

She is awesome.

It's a manageable problem, if that makes sense.

I'm not a beater, drunk driver, or anything extreme but it's still a thing.

Sounds like you outta quit. No reason to lose an awesome gal over booze. No arguing that you will be healthier in the long run. If you can say that you understand why she is making that demand of you then you prolly should do the right thing and quit.

Best of luck. You'll get through it either way.

[riser4]

This thread needs a trigger warning.

[Dhelihiker]

She is awesome.

.

Then you better quit drinking, pretty simple. I wouldnt want to live with an alky.

[dschane]

It's a manageable problem, if that makes sense.

hmmm, in light of how you began this thread, no that doesn't make sense. At least she doesn't think it's manageable. So, quit for a month, see how it goes, see how you feel, see how she feels, and go from there. If you can't quit for a single month, the "it's a manageable problem" line is crap.

[flatlander#2]

seriously? Pics or gtfo.

[GoldMember]

"Manageable problem" = rationalized problem but, problem, none-the-less. That you admit it's a problem indicates that maybe you need to do something about it. For starters, see someone with expertise and don't rely on the peanut gallery of a bunch of ski bums. Take some time for yourself, not your wife, yourself to learn more about your behaviors and make a more informed decision of what you want to do.

[alfajores]

Ya. that's about it. Thoughts? Insight? Any one else make this move? Thanks.

Sober since October or so of 2005. It has been a truly worthy enterprise. I recommend it and think you will find good experiences most days. Read the signs in life. Even if you aren't an alcoholic, it may be a negative influence in your life.

[Rico in Flag]

I know you're broke. And I know school is rough on ya.
Maybe cutting down, or cutting it out, might improve your cash flow and help with school.
I'd hate to see you lose your lady.