The Pending Divorce Thread

**stfu&gbtw** · 10-14-2015, 05:53 PM

Marriage is a weird one... It's either the best or worst thing that's ever happened to me. Similar to the dropping out thread, you can't be in two places in the same time. And while married sex can never compare to strange, both my wife and I are of the mentality that cheating will result in homicide. I've invested exactly zero seconds of my married life considering my wife's fidelity. That might not be for everyone, but that's what makes the difference for me.

Wife just got a new hair cut... Leave the glasses on, a few drinks, and a new IUD and it's game on!

**Cono Este** · 10-14-2015, 06:49 PM

Originally Posted by assman

plain & simple advice here... be wary of banging her. More than one of my friends found themselves in your situation and when the wife figured out the plan managed to get themselves pregnant. Both guys are in a shitful situation.

and yes hide some money. It sounds bad but at some point you are going to be supporting her and the kids and that extra cash is going to be desperately needed.

Listen to him ^

**Benny Profane** · 10-14-2015, 09:52 PM

Originally Posted by Beer Drinker

You have a wife, and multiple girlfriends?

I'd blow my fucking head off.

That's funny.

**Crampedon** · 10-14-2015, 11:48 PM

I'm shopping for a vasectomy

Originally Posted by daviski

I travel in the BC with a '72 Beetle ready to deploy at all times

SB · 10-15-2015, 05:51 AM

Originally Posted by Crampedon

I'm shopping for a vasectomy

I got a rusty pocket knife I will loan ya.

3s · 06-24-2019, 09:48 PM

Soon to be divorced
She will post updates to facebook
For her fans and boyfriend

**byates1** · 06-25-2019, 12:11 AM

eggs are painful potentially once fertilized.

**Marshall Tucker** · 06-25-2019, 06:08 AM

Wonder how this has worked out...

Originally Posted by mufasa5446

Anyone here save their marriage by opening it up?

I saved my long term relationship by opening it up and looking at Polyamory. So far, 5 months in, life is better than before.

To be clear, we didn't do it to save it, we came upon these ideas, struggled with them, and it happened to be what we both needed.

**JimmyCarter** · 06-25-2019, 06:23 AM

Originally Posted by Marshall Tucker

Wonder how this has worked out...

Well it turns out he had no idea that she also liked pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

**TNKen** · 06-25-2019, 08:07 AM

Kiddo got married in October, filed for a divorce in March, and it became final today.

Turns out ex was a control freak, and shortly after the wedding, became verbally and physically abusive.

Glad its over.

**neufox47** · 06-25-2019, 08:24 AM

How’s life Booner?

For those saying “hide some money”, 1) you maybe committing a crime that includes felonies by doing this. 2) Get ready to give everything to her if you get caught hiding it, her attorney will use the threat of fraud charges to swing negotiations. 3) If she even suspects it, get ready to pay half or more of your combined wealth to attorneys and accountants; we get real expensive real quick at $200 + an hour (I don’t do divorce work but I’ve heard of colleagues racking up $100k bills for one spouse, another $100k accountant for the other, plus the attorneys get extra billing time to deal with accountants and review their work). 4) It is very hard to hide large amounts of money; so you transferred $100k out of a bank account to a buy bitcoin and hold it in your untraceable wallet, that withdrawal of $100k still shows up. It is hard to hide money that starts in a known bank account, investment account, etc. The tricky ones move the money before it ever hits one of their accounts (I.e. they get someone to pay them in bit coin and don’t generate a related tax document) or they have the patience to move small amounts of money very frequently.

Bite me being a twice divorced bitter old man is the least surprising thing in this thread. Hard to imagine how such a cocksucker could find two women to marry him in the first place.

**RootSkier** · 06-25-2019, 09:29 AM

Cash + coffee can + hole behind the garage is the only sure bet.

**booner** · 06-25-2019, 09:34 AM

Originally Posted by neufox47

How’s life Booner?

Wow.. Been a while since it was getting rocky for me. Everything is good. Actually our relationship is as solid as it's ever been.

Full disclosure...I got caught with my dick in the cookie jar about 9 months ago and it made our relationship a lot stronger. For a few days I thought it was over, but we came out the other side better than ever. Really strange that that's what strengthened our relationship, but it really did

**iceman** · 06-25-2019, 09:54 AM

Huh. Maybe I should try that.

**::: :::** · 06-25-2019, 10:18 AM

Originally Posted by iceman

Huh. Maybe I should try that.

pretty sure it was just a metaphor, ice

**DBdude** · 06-25-2019, 10:18 AM

Originally Posted by booner

Wow.. Been a while since it was getting rocky for me. Everything is good. Actually our relationship is as solid as it's ever been.

Full disclosure...I got caught with my dick in the cookie jar about 9 months ago and it made our relationship a lot stronger. For a few days I thought it was over, but we came out the other side better than ever. Really strange that that's what strengthened our relationship, but it really did

My neighbor had the same experience only he didn’t hide it. His marriage is better now. He also got his wife to smoke weed and that helped in the bedroom

Marriages can be really strange

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**booner** · 06-25-2019, 10:33 AM

Originally Posted by DBdude

My neighbor had the same experience only he didn’t hide it. His marriage is better now. He also got his wife to smoke weed and that helped in the bedroom

Marriages can be really strange

Funny thing...

My wife grew up with pot smoking hippie parents on Lopez Island where everyone burns, but wasn't a smoker. She used to give me a little shit about my weed habit...mostly due to issues she had with her parents always being burnouts.

She's been an everyday smoker for a little over a year. All her soccer mom friends smoke everyday now too...it's awesome. Probably not a coincidence that's when everything got better for us

**DBdude** · 06-25-2019, 10:47 AM

^ I’m glad

Weed and sex can be a good lubricant for the stress of raising little people

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**DBdude** · 06-25-2019, 11:04 AM

Heh!

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**oftpiste** · 06-25-2019, 11:51 AM

Hang in there mang. Block/unfriend her, her friends, her family on all social. Feels weird at first but you'll be glad.

Originally Posted by 3s

Soon to be divorced
She will post updates to facebook
For her fans and boyfriend

SB · 06-25-2019, 11:56 AM

Yeah, hang in there. Gets better eventually.

**neufox47** · 06-26-2019, 05:49 PM

Originally Posted by booner

Wow.. Been a while since it was getting rocky for me. Everything is good. Actually our relationship is as solid as it's ever been.

Full disclosure...I got caught with my dick in the cookie jar about 9 months ago and it made our relationship a lot stronger. For a few days I thought it was over, but we came out the other side better than ever. Really strange that that's what strengthened our relationship, but it really did

That is such a booner story. Cheers to you guys.

I do think this story requires more details though, and maybe an alias.

**oftpiste** · 06-26-2019, 07:40 PM

Originally Posted by neufox47

I do think this story requires more details though

Not to mention pics. The ones not filched from the interwebz.

**RootSkier** · 06-26-2019, 08:54 PM

Exactly how thicc was this cookie jar? Not sure we need pics.

**riser4** · 06-27-2019, 05:18 AM

How exactly does one explain that? I mean, you're up on top of the fridge, your pants are down, and you're dick is in a piece of crockery. Not to mention you've ruined a whole bunch of cookies, unless of course the ookie cookie is your thing.