The Pending Divorce Thread

**that dude who did that thing** · 09-15-2015, 07:25 PM

And, a more general comment, this board is full of an enormous number of men who don't have any fucking clue how to marry. And, it appears, even less clue how to get divorced. Angry little men who blame someone else for the problems in THEIR marriages.

Being married (or in any other kind of long term relationship) ain't easy, fellows, but it beats the shit out of trying to take the world on all alone.

**berko** · 09-15-2015, 07:35 PM

Originally Posted by Jamespio

And, a more general comment, this board is full of an enormous number of men who don't have any fucking clue how to marry. And, it appears, even less clue how to get divorced. Angry little men who blame someone else for the problems in THEIR marriages.

Being married (or in any other kind of long term relationship) ain't easy, fellows, but it beats the shit out of trying to take the world on all alone.

This board is also full of people who cant quite grasp the concept of others using this board as a trial balloon.

**Hott Butt Mud** · 09-15-2015, 07:35 PM

Originally Posted by Jamespio

Being married (or in any other kind of long term relationship) ain't easy, fellows, but it beats the shit out of trying to take the world on all alone.

Disagree. In the modern world, you're never really alone. This thought mentality might have had resonance with most people in pre-internet times, but no more.

**that dude who did that thing** · 09-15-2015, 07:38 PM

Originally Posted by berko

This board is also full of people who cant quite grasp the concept of others using this board as a trial balloon.

I was referring to the ones who are already divorced. Their trial balloon is long gone. Try reading for understanding next time.

**that dude who did that thing** · 09-15-2015, 07:40 PM

Originally Posted by Hott Butt Mud

Disagree. In the modern world, you're never really alone. This thought mentality might have had resonance with most people in pre-internet times, but no more.

Really? I have to disagree. I have met lots of people via the internet, some have become very good friends. But those relationships are nothing at all like the level of mutual support I both give and receive in my marriage. We may be talking about two different things here.

**Hott Butt Mud** · 09-15-2015, 07:45 PM

He just said, in general, taking on the world alone... blah, blah, blah.... you don't have to have a wife for that. Just saying that friends, and the internet ,does a lot for a lot of people...

Before the modern internet, you were literally alone when you were in your house/apt unless you were talking on your landline. Now, you're watching HD porn, skype with friends/family, TGR forums, facebook, instagram, twitter, etc.

Then you can also go and get laid and even get a GF !! wow, I know, crazy!

**Bromontana** · 09-15-2015, 08:05 PM

Booner - On the insecurity thing. I was banging my head against the wall for a good year or so before it dawned that my gf's occasional/not-so-occasional insecurity might just have something to do with 1) her perception of me and 2) my treatment of her in specific situations where she's especially sensitive. My gf is esl and has trouble saying what she means sometimes, which can make me go red in the face with frustration that she's not being sincere with herself/me. The reality is she's not comfortable enough to open because I'm being a fucking dick (imagine that - right there with ya).

Long story short I've had to up my game on being a gentleman and building her up instead of the opposite. So far it's been a good result and she's more open with me and all the fucking sudden is a lot more articulate and smart than I had previously assumed. Fnka, look for the good. Love her openly and clear the air, tell her your frustrations and acknowledge you being a wiseass isn't helpful. Spin the intelligence thing as an attitude thing to make her feel more comfortable, hopefully she surprised you and engages.

If not, put those little ones first and do whatever you can to not destroy their reality at such a young age. Sad stuff, but mayyyyybe you can hit a half court three...

**Bite Me** · 09-15-2015, 08:07 PM

Originally Posted by Jamespio

Being married (or in any other kind of long term relationship) ain't easy, fellows, but it beats the shit out of trying to take the world on all alone.

No it's not. I spent 12 years trying to be a good guy and take care of my wife as hard as I could, trying to address everything that was important to her. We twice went to counseling and all I heard was "that's not what I wanted", in spite not doing shit to be a good partner to me. Most depressing and demoralizing time of my life.

11 months into the divorce (having fun dragging it out just to piss her off now as I'm not giving her any $ (yet)), where she apparently feels entitled to everything, and she, and her attorney can go fuck themselves.

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.

Edit - and, oh, no kids. Divorce #1 had 2 kids involved, and i would have done anything to keep it together for them, but the ex thought she had a big inheritance coming, so I was gone. It never came, and she's still a pauper. That's the good news, but the $2k / month I gave for child support never got to the kids sadly.

**Cono Este** · 09-15-2015, 08:11 PM

Originally Posted by 4matic

Hide as much cash as you can.

This.

And strike first and strike hard. cobra Kai.

Internet or not, that advice is worth at least 50k. And I've got the legal bills to prove it.

**capulin overdrive** · 09-15-2015, 08:36 PM

Seems to me, only a dumbass would marry a dumbass.

So appears to me you've reaped what you've sown!

**Lindahl** · 09-15-2015, 08:47 PM

Some truth there... best advice that you could have used a while ago? Marry the brainiest chick that will take your stupid ass (and we're all dumb).

**mtngirl79** · 09-15-2015, 08:55 PM

Originally Posted by booner

Figured we need a place to discuss how much we love being married.

I'll go first...

I find that I can barely stand my wife most of the time now. If it weren't for the huge hit my wallet would take, I'd be out.

We have kids, which is what I've always thought would keep us together. Now it's my bank account I'm worried about...I can't afford her bleeding me dry.

She's dumb,(really, not just saying that out of anger) and insecure because of it. This is the cause of every single issue I have with her. It's unbelievable the amount of trouble her insecurity creates.

I don't even give a fuck anymore really. I just drink and ignore her most of the time. I don't care to do nice things for her at all anymore.

Right now, after the behavior she just exhibited...again, I'm ready to either drown her or myself in the bathroom sink.

Cheers!

Sent from the other side

Was she dumb and insecure when you married her?

**montanaskier** · 09-15-2015, 08:58 PM

PM Rontele

**neck beard** · 09-15-2015, 09:02 PM

Agree with Lindhal. Marry smart, happy, calm, independent women who know how to be there as your best friend would and who never watch tv and don't drink much. And be the same for them. Everything else is a distraction. Many guys just look at breasts and reap what they sow. They marry a reflection of themselves, then blame everyone else. But to be fair, it isn't easy out in the jungle and most of us just want to be wanted, which means we walk into some bad situations. Some people get lucky, others do not.

**iceman** · 09-15-2015, 09:10 PM

I'm like Henny Youngman, "25 years I've been married and never once have I thought of divorce. Murder, yes."

**frorider** · 09-15-2015, 09:18 PM

Will someone just man up and buy the im103s booner's been trying to sell for years now? That might cheer him up.

There must have been some strong positives there that got you married to her in the first place. Hope you relocate them. Nothing wrong with venting on a forum I guess, but alias might be the call?

**digitaldeath** · 09-15-2015, 09:24 PM

Get off TGR

Send yer dumb bitch to the northwoods

**DasBlunt** · 09-15-2015, 09:26 PM

as much as Booner participates and style of comments on the porn aspect of this site....and with as fucked up as his wife sounds after the kid.....he for sure has priorities in the wrong place.

**booner** · 09-15-2015, 09:51 PM

Originally Posted by frorider

Will someone just man up and buy the im103s booner's been trying to sell for years now? That might cheer him up.

There must have been some strong positives there that got you married to her in the first place. Hope you relocate them. Nothing wrong with venting on a forum I guess, but alias might be the call?

Yeah...buy them already!

In all reality, I'll most likely just keep gassing beers and acting like I care for the next 40 years

Sent from the other side

**iceman** · 09-15-2015, 09:54 PM

Honestly there is not much wrong with most marriages that more sex won't fix. Don't sit in the garage drinking beers, go fuck that chick hard. Then sit in the garage drinking beers later.

**liv2ski** · 09-15-2015, 10:04 PM

Originally Posted by iceman

I'm like Henny Youngman, "25 years I've been married and never once have I thought of divorce. Murder, yes."

I feel ya ice. I know this spot off the 395 where someone would never be found. Women, can't kill em and you sure as hell can't keep ya both happy all the time.
Life is a PITA at times.

And this is great advice too.

Originally Posted by iceman

Honestly there is not much wrong with most marriages that more sex won't fix. Don't sit in the garage drinking beers, go fuck that chick hard. Then sit in the garage drinking beers later.

**iceman** · 09-15-2015, 10:31 PM

Originally Posted by liv2ski

I feel ya ice. I know this spot off the 395 where someone would never be found. Women, can't kill em and you sure as hell can't keep ya both happy all the time.

haha, when she pisses me off I'm always plotting about how to get away with it. Keeps me sane (ish) I think.

but we should talk

**liv2ski** · 09-15-2015, 10:37 PM

Originally Posted by iceman

haha, when she pisses me off I'm always plotting about how to get away with it. Keeps me sane (ish) I think.

but we should talk

Yep, but shows like Law and Order keep me in check

**iceman** · 09-15-2015, 10:40 PM

Originally Posted by liv2ski

Yep, but shows like Law and Order keep me in check

No doubt. Those fuckers are smart, And jail isn't the answer I'm looking for. I'm still working on it though. Just every once in a while, ya know?

**powtario** · 09-15-2015, 11:22 PM

Fix the insecurity with 1) man the fuck up and be introspective about what you are doing 2) get someone to help her with her insecurity (like ski lessons, someone other than you).