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  1. #4526
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    the Low Sierra
    Posts
    12,197
    Different hippy girl.

  2. #4527
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    I smell poutine!!!
    Posts
    8,280
    Who keeps the trailer? And the sleds?

    https://www-m.cnn.com/2019/09/09/pol...www.cnn.com%2F

  3. #4528
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Video Bargainville
    Posts
    1,387
    Quote Originally Posted by Marshall Tucker View Post
    Smaltzy as it is I LOVE that song. belt it out as loud as possible in the car

    I bet I can change your mind!


  4. #4529
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    SE USA
    Posts
    2,025
    ^ I sang along with her! it was awesome, captian!
    "Can't you see..."

  5. #4530
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    1,596
    I'm in the thick of it. Knew I would be. Not surprised. Doesn't make it less painful.

    This will be the first night in all 3 kids lives I haven't said goodnight.

    But, having that isn't worth being verbally and emotionally abused on the regs.

    Finances are fucked. Beyond.

    On my way to a hotel.

  6. #4531
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    46,986
    That's so rough.

    All I have is, life is different from moment to moment, hang in there for a different moment

  7. #4532
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    The 8th best place in the LBP
    Posts
    2,732
    Sucks man. Good luck.

  8. #4533
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    1,596
    Thanks gents.

  9. #4534
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    写道
    Posts
    11,134
    Hang in there, Mang.
    °”rale, vato!

  10. #4535
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    the gach
    Posts
    5,494
    Quote Originally Posted by TheSilverSurfer View Post
    I'm in the thick of it. Knew I would be. Not surprised. Doesn't make it less painful.

    This will be the first night in all 3 kids lives I haven't said goodnight.

    But, having that isn't worth being verbally and emotionally abused on the regs.

    Finances are fucked. Beyond.

    On my way to a hotel.
    Normally I like being in a boat with other people but this one sucks. Iím right there with you brother.
    But Ellen kicks ass - if she had a beard it would be much more haggard. -Jer

  11. #4536
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    1,596
    Right back atcha. Sorry you're dealing with this shit too.

    Fuck. I miss my kids. Miserable.

  12. #4537
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    In a parallel universe
    Posts
    4,354

    Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

    Really feel for you guys, I'm sorry you are going through this right now, life is difficult enough to have to deal with this kind of destabilizing upheaval. The only thing I have to offer is that choosing to believe that things can and will get better (and staying away from the juice) will likely keep your head in the game for what really matters, your children - and by extension your own well being.

  13. #4538
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    the Low Sierra
    Posts
    12,197
    ACH is spot on. A year out Iím still struggling. Still very sad and lonely. But staying sober and positive means Iím doing ok.

  14. #4539
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    the gach
    Posts
    5,494
    Iím not a drinker. I might get back off the wagon for a few days. Probably not going to help but https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=47GhByvY7jA
    But Ellen kicks ass - if she had a beard it would be much more haggard. -Jer

  15. #4540
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    my own little world
    Posts
    2,390
    Two years out. Nothing is lonelier than being with somebody who is shitty and self centered and narcissistic.

    My kids are good. Itís still hard. I still have to deal with her being a terrible person. My stories about the shit she still frequently pulls or says are amazing.... but itís external now.

    Iím with somebody now who is a nice, good, rational person who gives a shit about other people. Itís amazing.

    It gets better. Knowing that it gets better is so key to the whole process. It gets better.

    https://youtu.be/L06ws41x2zc
    focus.

  16. #4541
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    1,596
    I don't know what I'm doing right now.

    Wife asked me to come over yesterday to help with the kids. Took them out in the morning and then spent the afternoon cleaning the play yard with the eldest. Wife bitched at me every chance. Convinced me it's all my fault. (most of it is). Then she kicked me out at 10:30 to stand in the rain while she berated me more. That lasted for ten minutes.

    Supposedly we are going to try and co-parent while living together, and dating other people. I'm not down with that. (She wants to do this until our babies are older and easier to take care of, so maybe a year and half)

    It doesn't help that she's still getting on me for irrelevant shit.

    Instincts are too leave. Now. I don't see it getting better and I'm not okay with seeing other people. Otoh, one night of not putting kids to bed was tough enough.

    I have a dream that it will all work out and we'll have a happy life ever after, but if I'm the only one working towards that I think the chances are slim.

    Lost and confused

  17. #4542
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    The Land of Subdued Excitement
    Posts
    5,482
    Plenty of people take care of three babies at a time... the little ones are 1ish and then a preschooler?

    50/50 custody. Half of your life revolves around the kids and then you get a break.

    If she cant figure out how to put 3 kids to bed herself, she has issues.

    She wants the best of both worlds. Tell her no.

    If she wants to fight or be disrespectful or yell, leave.

    Get attorney. Get own place. Stop giving in.

  18. #4543
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    1,146
    Fuck man, thatís not a good place to be. Vibes
    Your instincts will lead you to a better place. Wish I had some experience to opine

  19. #4544
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    1,654
    that's a hard read, damn. calm down.

    sounds like shit is blowing up.

  20. #4545
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Posts
    10,892
    TSS, set boundaries for yourself, like not getting bitched out. Let her know those boundaries, stick with them. Be fair, and don’t let her roll over you.
    And I guess that I just don't know

  21. #4546
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    the gach
    Posts
    5,494
    Damn. Been there too. Thatís what we tried last time we almost split. Not the dating other people but living together in separate rooms. My wife sounds so much like yours itís spooky. Super controlling. Get out. She wants to live together so she can control you. Get out. Itís not your fault. Sheís gaslighting you. Itís not the victims fault for the abuse.
    But Ellen kicks ass - if she had a beard it would be much more haggard. -Jer

  22. #4547
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    14,845
    6 years on, it gets better.

    Pace yourself.

    Do not dance to her bell.

    Move forward.
    watch out for snakes

  23. #4548
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    6,271
    ^^^ Good stuff. It's possible it gets better sooner than that. It has for me.

    Start with some good professional counseling. If it can't be repaired perhaps it can end without awfulness.



    TSS, super sorry you're in the thick of that painful stuff. Feel free to reach out if you need an ear.
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  24. #4549
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    1,987
    Damn TSS, that sounds like pure hell. No advice from me except I canít possibly see how living together with her acting like that can possibly work. Vibes man.

  25. #4550
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    my own little world
    Posts
    2,390
    The end of my marriage was really similar to what you describe. She bounced from wanting to do teamwork to wanting me out. In the end, all the flexibility I agreed to to allow for teamwork and joint mission just became areas where she thought she could call all the shots.

    Since Iím not willing to drag the kids into the middle of the arguments, she usually wins. Itís rarely worth it, and life is easier when she thinks sheís winning.
    focus.

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