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  1. #4476
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    Oct 2002
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    my own little world
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    2,604

    Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

    Quote Originally Posted by TahoeJ View Post
    Biggest surprise to me was breaking the news to my parents yesterday that it was official. Thought they'd be sad and my mom, who is not religious, said, "Oh thank god! We've been biting our tongues for the last few years." That was a wakeup call, to some degree.
    The reaction of family and close friends was really affirming for me. Got a lot of “I can’t believe you lasted that long.” To some degree, I was a little peeved... as in “why didn’t you say something??”

    Understood, it’s not the kind of thing you get involved with and the correct choice is to keep your nose out of it. But still, a heads up that I seemed miserable for years and that being treated that way was far from normal would have helped me wake up a little and make a positive change sooner.

    The financial impact is significant, and I’m still a ways away from recovering. But starting to make real progress on that side. Once the alimony is done and child support starts to wean off in 4 years, things will start to feel normal-ish and I can think about building a retirement. Looking forward to that....
    focus.

  2. #4477
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
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    LV-426
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    16,419
    Quote Originally Posted by TahoeJ View Post
    Biggest surprise to me was breaking the news to my parents yesterday that it was official. Thought they'd be sad and my mom, who is not religious, said, "Oh thank god! We've been biting our tongues for the last few years." That was a wakeup call, to some degree.
    I had a friend who split up with his fiance once, it sounded permanent. We "consoled" him with saying things like "she's not the right one" etc -

    and then they reconciled, married, and had kids...
    Quote Originally Posted by powder11 View Post
    if you have to resort to taking advice from the nitwits on this forum, then you're doomed.

  3. #4478
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    northern BC
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    19,424
    yeah keep yer mouth shut on the consoling cuz you may have to eat your words
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  4. #4479
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Shuswap Highlands
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    2,566
    In the past 4 months, 4 couples in our close circle have split up. All with kids, 3 of them with kids under 10. I am so done with this shit. Wife is still out helping the 'closer half' get their life back together, but I am done. All have been parents going through mid life shit, fucking around with the (small) town sluts, feeling sorry for themselves, or wishing their partner was anything other than what they have been since they first hooked up. None have mental health issues, and have reasonably successful careers. I've got no sympathy left. Life sucks sometime. We all make sacrifices, and marriage is about compromise. At least until the dependants leave the house. I'm not investing another moment on whiny entitled adults. The only help I will offer anymore is to take the kids during my normal share of childminding my daughter.

    Sorry, but this was supposed to a family weekend. Over half was spent dealing with families that are no more. At least I got out with my girls for a few laps at the local t-bar today.

  5. #4480
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    12,760
    I often get lot of, "this is bullshit, why do I have to deal with all this?" from my clients.

    I always say, "you married and fucked her, that's why". Usually shuts them right up. I try to get that out of the way early.

  6. #4481
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    the Low Sierra
    Posts
    12,478

    Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

    I will say that you can and should avoid divorce attorneys at all costs. You can do it yourself.

    not fun
    Last edited by ~mikey b; 02-17-2020 at 08:47 PM.

  7. #4482
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    STL
    Posts
    9,392

    Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

    My brother got the boot. He’s been living large in SoCal, the dream, and was a complete dick to me over the urs in regards to my divorce, getting stranded in St Louis. Actually told me I was a “bum” when I hit hard times afterwards.

    His wife makes 500k a yr, and doesn’t need him. She travels a lot, probably fucking another dude, drinks a lot. Two teenagers, totally fucked. Now he’s in a vrbo.

    Sooner or later, we all get an education about ourselves. I’d love to help the guy, but he’s too stupid to call for advice. She’ll string him along, let him keep doing the kid chores.
    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  8. #4483
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Sonoma & Truckee
    Posts
    11,525
    Fun development for me this week. My ex started dating this guy from work. After 23 years together she gave it all of 2 weeks since we officially called it quits... which, while definitely tacky, whatever, I don't really care. But she had him over to the house this past weekend... with all three of my fucking kids there. We haven't even had a chance to sit them down and tell them we're getting divorced. At bed time, my 11 year old daughter called me bawling.

    Talk about fucked up behavior. What a cunt. Really just trying to get through this settlement and not scorch the earth and waste money on lawyers... but god damn, part of me really wants to.

  9. #4484
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    Sandy, Utah
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    11,734
    Quote Originally Posted by TahoeJ View Post
    Fun development for me this week. My ex started dating this guy from work. After 23 years together she gave it all of 2 weeks since we officially called it quits... which, while definitely tacky, whatever, I don't really care. But she had him over to the house this past weekend... with all three of my fucking kids there. We haven't even had a chance to sit them down and tell them we're getting divorced. At bed time, my 11 year old daughter called me bawling.

    Talk about fucked up behavior. What a cunt. Really just trying to get through this settlement and not scorch the earth and waste money on lawyers... but god damn, part of me really wants to.
    2 weeks and already bringing other men around your kids? WOW.....sorry but i'd scorch the earth no matter what the cost financially.
    http://www.firsttracksonline.com

    I wish i could be like SkiFishBum

  10. #4485
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    I smell poutine!!!
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    9,835
    Nuke from orbit.

  11. #4486
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    I smell poutine!!!
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    9,835
    And I'm guessing it's been going on longer than 2 weeks. That's too much of a coincidence.

  12. #4487
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Sandy, Utah
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    11,734
    Quote Originally Posted by riser3 View Post
    And I'm guessing it's been going on longer than 2 weeks. That's too much of a coincidence.
    Make sure legal counsel is aware of this news.

    Sent from my Pixel 2 using TGR Forums mobile app
    http://www.firsttracksonline.com

    I wish i could be like SkiFishBum

  13. #4488
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    295
    To add...
    Never talk shit about her to the kids
    Let them figure that out for themselves as they grow

  14. #4489
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    northern BC
    Posts
    19,424
    OR you could be smart and just move on

    which you will have to do anyway
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  15. #4490
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    Dec 2005
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    ^ This. There’s nothing you can do about it TJ. Take the high road. Learn not to let it get to you.
    And I guess that I just don't know

  16. #4491
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    At the beach
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper View Post
    ^ This. There’s nothing you can do about it TJ. Take the high road. Learn not to let it get to you.
    If age has taught me one lesson, it is you may not like it, but if you can't do anything about it (which you can't) forget about it and move on with your life. Once your kids are older, they will appreciate you a lot if you were a good dad, so do your best to be that guy and blow that woman's shit off.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  17. #4492
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    slc
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    11,551
    That's horrible your kids had to find out that way. But, previously in this thread somebody said this (paraphrasing): Your soon-to-be ex dating before the divorce is final is great. The happier and more distracted she is the better because it makes her that much less likely to want to fuck you over. And if she does try to screw you, now you have ammo.

    Deep breaths, stay calm, stay rational.

  18. #4493
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Loveland, Chair 9.
    Posts
    4,362
    Quote Originally Posted by TahoeJ View Post
    Fun development for me this week. My ex started dating this guy from work. After 23 years together she gave it all of 2 weeks since we officially called it quits... which, while definitely tacky, whatever, I don't really care. But she had him over to the house this past weekend... with all three of my fucking kids there. We haven't even had a chance to sit them down and tell them we're getting divorced. At bed time, my 11 year old daughter called me bawling.

    Talk about fucked up behavior. What a cunt. Really just trying to get through this settlement and not scorch the earth and waste money on lawyers... but god damn, part of me really wants to.
    bitches be crazy !

    now, men can be crazy to but its usually men go crazy in the marriage that can cause the divorce; they tend to be the more civil ones after.
    Eat em up Houston Cougars !

  19. #4494
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    here and there
    Posts
    16,353
    If she only took two weeks to snort another dick out of a pack, extra douche bag points for it being one of your co workers, be on guard for her to use New dad to try and turn the kids against you.

    You had best talk to the kids now.
    watch out for snakes

  20. #4495
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    1,564

    Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

    Dang don’t like seeing these things - feel for you TJ. Have little to add to the good reasonable advice above...
    Do have a question if you’re willing to share? Can you / do you look back and see signals when y’all first connected that make this ending seem inevitable (in hindsight).?
    Or had you just drifted apart as a couple?

    All the split talk above by others has me curious about it. Thanks

  21. #4496
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    At the beach
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    12,758
    CL, from the marriage encounter workshops we did years ago, people who do not work on their marriage pretty much everyday (just the little things) end up growing apart and becoming "Married Singles". At the time I could see that is what happened to us. Coming back together is hard but not impossible. I have heard testimonies of the worst shit, yet the couple over came it with the proper guidance and desire to stay together. That is not for everyone, but it is possible. My best wishes to all the guys in this thread going through this shit.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  22. #4497
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Making the Bowl Great Again
    Posts
    12,172
    Quote Originally Posted by SB View Post
    extra douche bag points for it being one of your co workers,
    I read that as one of HER coworkers.

    Either way, that sucks TJ.

  23. #4498
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    10,067
    Quote Originally Posted by liv2ski View Post
    Coming back together is hard but not impossible. I have heard testimonies of the worst shit, yet the couple over came it with the proper guidance and desire to stay together. That is not for everyone, but it is possible.
    Like in the Pina Colada song?
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  24. #4499
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    732
    Quote Originally Posted by TahoeJ View Post
    Fun development for me this week. My ex started dating this guy from work. After 23 years together she gave it all of 2 weeks since we officially called it quits...
    the cock carousel goes round and round

  25. #4500
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    northern BC
    Posts
    19,424
    Quote Originally Posted by Dantheman View Post
    That's horrible your kids had to find out that way. But, previously in this thread somebody said this (paraphrasing): Your soon-to-be ex dating before the divorce is final is great. The happier and more distracted she is the better because it makes her that much less likely to want to fuck you over. And if she does try to screw you, now you have ammo.

    Deep breaths, stay calm, stay rational.
    maybe the laws are different down there but does any judge really give a fuck ?

    When I spent 2 days in court over the starter marriage nobody really cared who fucked whom

    it was just get the business end of it done

    men and women fuck each other up in a marriage same as it ever was
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

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