Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

[TahoeJ]

I never really understood the “single parent” thing in divorce with shared custody. My ex would post dramatic Facebook stories of the challenges of being a “single parent.” She has them half the time and I give her lots of money. Any time they’re too much I’ll happily take them all the way up to 100% of the time to ease her heroic burden. She can even keep the money.

The social media stuff used to bug me but now I just laugh at it. Case in point: my youngest daughter played spring and then summer softball. There were at least 25-30 games total. My ex went to *one* game and posted it up on Facebook and the comments are all like “you’re such a great single mom!” Lol… like, who do you think took her to the other 29 games? Same nonsense with my oldest daughter and club volleyball with remote tournaments where I’m the one booking the hotel room, etc. I never said a word but eventually some of her friends with kids on the same teams kind of called her out on it (“Why are you never here? Your ex is at almost every game.”) which I appreciated.

Technically I have 30% custody but I actually have them more than half the time. And then she dumps them off on her parents constantly … it’s so heroic you single mom queen! I have a few friends dealing with the same so anecdotally I suspect this sort of thing is pretty common these days. It can be frustrating but then I have to remind myself that the kids will remember this stuff.

EDIT: to be fair there are plenty of deadbeat dads making the rest of us look bad. My daughter’s best friend also on her volleyball team essentially looks to me as a fill-in father figure when her mom can’t make it due to work obligations (so she’ll glance over to me to take video of her serves, etc). Dad has all the time in the world and just doesn’t bother to show up. Douchebag.

[Mustonen]

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[Mustonen]

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[RShea]

My point was that there are plenty of non-binary choices on any given form, but computer systems can't grasp different parents at different addresses, or multiple contacts.

My point is that there are plenty of non-binary choices on any given form that is hand written and you write in the margins or on the bottom, but computer systems with poorly designed databases that are not flexible to customize a few fields for different households and the programmer/designer can't grasp different parents at different addresses, or multiple contacts.

FIFY

Computers are easier and faster to change than a written form if the database is designed properly just saying.