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  1. #4626
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Dystopia
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    21,054
    Very cool steal your face surf logo.

    Vibes and condolences
    . . .

  2. #4627
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    the Low Sierra
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    17,818
    he had a similar tattoo
    I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.

  3. #4628
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    STL
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    13,294
    It’s amazing the power of a bad relationship, especially when you get older. I was lucky to get divorced at 35, my brother at 53 is not handling it so well.

    Seems everything is rougher with age. At 48, I vow to never let that shit wreck me again. I just have not taken the vow of endless winters and solitude yet.

    These minivan driving single Moms keep driving into my life. I hope I survive.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  4. #4629
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    the Low Sierra
    Posts
    17,818
    send a couple my way
    I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.

  5. #4630
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Truckee & Nor Cal
    Posts
    15,621
    40 and I have no interest in getting married again. So you are all invited to my next wedding in 2022. ;-)
    I ski 135 degree chutes switch to the road.

  6. #4631
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    I can still smell Poutine.
    Posts
    24,508
    Quote Originally Posted by Cono Este View Post
    It’s amazing the power of a bad relationship, especially when you get older. I was lucky to get divorced at 35, my brother at 53 is not handling it so well.

    Seems everything is rougher with age. At 48, I vow to never let that shit wreck me again. I just have not taken the vow of endless winters and solitude yet.

    These minivan driving single Moms keep driving into my life. I hope I survive.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    Minivan == fuck truck

  7. #4632
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Making the Bowl Great Again
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    13,779
    Good for hauling dumptruck ass.

  8. #4633
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    924
    what is up good people of the Tammy Wynette thread? long time listener. think this is my first time calling with my real handle. anyways lots of good stuff in here so thank you!
    I am about to be free and clear with my divorce this month when our house sale goes through. Only other issue is a vehicle which we originally planned to sell but because of various reasons I have not gotten sold so we have agreed on a value and I will pay her 1/2. Pro and am attorneys how should I officially document our new agreement? Can I just get an email from her confirming the amount we agreed on and transfer her the money with a memo or do we need to type something up and get a hard signature? (trying to do this no contact if possible) is there like a free e-document sign thing? WWMD

  9. #4634
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Making the Bowl Great Again
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    13,779
    Not a family law lawyer, don't know where you are, and not giving legal advice in any event, but an email from an account that only the other side has access to should, in theory, be almost as good as a signed document.

  10. #4635
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    19,215
    Quote Originally Posted by OregonDead View Post
    what is up good people of the Tammy Wynette thread? long time listener. think this is my first time calling with my real handle. anyways lots of good stuff in here so thank you!
    I am about to be free and clear with my divorce this month when our house sale goes through. Only other issue is a vehicle which we originally planned to sell but because of various reasons I have not gotten sold so we have agreed on a value and I will pay her 1/2. Pro and am attorneys how should I officially document our new agreement? Can I just get an email from her confirming the amount we agreed on and transfer her the money with a memo or do we need to type something up and get a hard signature? (trying to do this no contact if possible) is there like a free e-document sign thing? WWMD
    Hand her the cash and have her sign over the title.

  11. #4636
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    the Low Sierra
    Posts
    17,818
    been there done that




    it’s ok now
    I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.

  12. #4637
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    924
    the title is only in my name
    Quote Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark View Post
    Hand her the cash and have her sign over the title.

  13. #4638
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    924
    yeah I was thinking that. just ask her to write it in an email. wondering if that is the mag consensus or what. that would be the easiest for sure
    Quote Originally Posted by RootSkier View Post
    Not a family law lawyer, don't know where you are, and not giving legal advice in any event, but an email from an account that only the other side has access to should, in theory, be almost as good as a signed document.

  14. #4639
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    the Low Sierra
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    17,818
    pew pew
    I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.

  15. #4640
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
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    1,332
    Quote Originally Posted by OregonDead View Post
    yeah I was thinking that. just ask her to write it in an email. wondering if that is the mag consensus or what. that would be the easiest for sure
    For what it’s worth, until our divorce finalized email was the only way I communicated with my ex. Nice to have date and time stamped correspondence in case the shit hit the fan.

  16. #4641
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    northern BC
    Posts
    30,885
    I had a GF who was always bowled over by a partner who thot he was really smart for like 20+ yrs so I told her to quit talking to him just send e-mails,

    so she got to think about what she was going to say & pick apart what he wrote which on careful analysis wasnt so smart,

    instead of holding out & screwing her over it cost him more money than if he just played fair
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  17. #4642
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    8,404
    Quote Originally Posted by Gcooker View Post
    For what it’s worth, until our divorce finalized email was the only way I communicated with my ex. Nice to have date and time stamped correspondence in case the shit hit the fan.
    This.
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  18. #4643
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    my own little world
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    5,838
    Quote Originally Posted by oftpiste View Post
    This.
    I had some verbal agreements. They were worth the paper they were written on.
    focus.

  19. #4644
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Truckee & Nor Cal
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    15,621
    Yeah never rely on verbal agreements. My biggest mistake so far. It’s almost over...
    I ski 135 degree chutes switch to the road.

  20. #4645
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    924
    all is good in the Hood. speaking of which look me up if you are all up shredding the volcano

  21. #4646
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    STL
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    Possession is 9/10ths of the law.

    Have no fear b


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  22. #4647
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    Among Greatness All Around
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    6,628
    Quote Originally Posted by OregonDead View Post
    what is up good people of the Tammy Wynette thread? long time listener. think this is my first time calling with my real handle. anyways lots of good stuff in here so thank you!
    I am about to be free and clear with my divorce this month when our house sale goes through. Only other issue is a vehicle which we originally planned to sell but because of various reasons I have not gotten sold so we have agreed on a value and I will pay her 1/2. Pro and am attorneys how should I officially document our new agreement? Can I just get an email from her confirming the amount we agreed on and transfer her the money with a memo or do we need to type something up and get a hard signature? (trying to do this no contact if possible) is there like a free e-document sign thing? WWMD
    Not a lawyer, but as for your question on the E-signing that is totally doable from the technology side of things. Adobe Acrobat (free trial probably would be good enough for a 1 off like this), Docusign, Pandadoc (can do it in Word I believe but never personally done it), some of the alternatives to Acrobat that also read or create .pdf files all could be investigated to handle this simply without having to meet.

  23. #4648
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    In the shadow of the wasatch
    Posts
    4,116
    No need to hide behind an alias as I check into this important thread.
    Been taking notes for when the writing on my wall comes to fruition.
    And after 20 years of marriage here we are.....

    /beginsweetblogbro!

    Daughter turned 18 in May and couldn't wait to tell me that I should have divorced her mom a long time ago.
    16 yo boy likes the me that he sees when I am not around his mom but not the me he sees when we are together. And he tells me that often.
    I am pretty much in a slow motion replay of my parents broken marriage with all the associated traumas, just a different set of circumstances, and fighting the ghost of my father at the same time.
    A bad situation made worse by 3-7 dogs at any time in the house, my wife having 6.5 jobs, me having an incredibly shitty work life and losing the time and motivation to do anything for myself any more (ski, fish, bike, escape stress) mutiplied by all of this fucked up shit going on everywhere in Merikuh (gesticulates wildly in all directions).....
    Fuck! Too easy for a brother to get overwhelmed......

    I know I am no joy to live with, trust me!!!
    I am forced against my will to live with myself and I don't like me at all. I am on the hunt for a better me to hang out with.
    I'm selfish, have tunnel vision on the latest shiny thing, not that good looking any more, not great at expressing my feelings or listening to people that matter to me, always defensive, don't apologize properly or sincerely, social circles are pretty much gone, spend wayyyyyyyy too much time inside my head and can be a bit aggro with the fuse length between calm cool collected and raging asshole shrinking instead of growing......
    And well... K is pretty, bubbly, empathetic and kind, everyone loves her, she rarely fucks up other than marrying my sorry ass and is an order of magnitude smarter than me.
    My problem is she struggles with empathy and kindness to me, especially when I am in a bad way and need it the most, but probably don't deserve it at all, which has been about all the time lately.
    And she wields her schmartypants powers not always for the greater good of our relationship or my mental health.
    Although I try to flex my dwindling set of deescalation skills, I have spent too many nights over the last couple of years trying to sleep in the back of my station wagon in the desert after she ran me out of the house to think she has an iota of sympathy left for my situation, or that my deescalation skills are worth a fuck.
    No matter the cause, I always end up the loser with her and my own foot buried to the ankle in my ass.
    I would happily bet your next paycheck that this will happen again when we get into it and she decides that it is better to (figuratively) put her knee on my neck instead of trying to deescalate on her part.
    But I digress....

    I moved into the guest bedroom a month or so ago.
    Being able to have my own "safe" space where I control the clutter and who is in it, aka "Noise"...
    As well as being able get a good night sleep and feel like a human being again has been hudge for me.
    Hard to make make smart moves, fuck.... any moves at all, when I am running day in day out with 2-4 hours sleep with a head full of stress all the bad shit I've ever done on a nonstop replay loop in my mind.
    This will sound crazy as an accomplishment, but I went fishing with skifishbum last weekend for the first time in forever, after about 20 different plans broken on my part, and not having fished for myself in months. Didn't catch anything but a buzz but needed it really bad.
    Something about being in a boat with a chill as fuck friend, frequent safety breaks, 100 mile views and the adrenaline of a tailing carp waving bye bye as you blow another cast LOL.....Thanks buddy I needed that! That would not have been possible for me just a couple weeks ago.
    My renewed clarity and purpose inform me that I need to walk away from this, take care of me and regulate myself better.
    Maybe we regroup at a later date and make a new thing together, maybe we continue moving apart and make our own lives.
    As the fog in my head clears it is apparent that I am real close to my big push out of the house into the great unknown.

    Here is the plan...

    We both realize that we are better off not in each other's company but still love each other and are committed to doing this easy as possible and walking away as friends and good co-parents.
    No lawyers, no divorce court, dissolve the marriage contract via means that are available to us without needing to pay into litigation.
    She has a career job and walks with her own banking accounts, 403B and pension, gets insurance through her work at open enrollment, most home bills are in her name.
    I keep my 401Ks, IRA, Roth, kids college accounts and funny money trading accounts as well as my primary retirement vehicles of powder skis and flyrods and will be able to pursue my dream of a noise free existence in a van down by the river.
    I will carry the kids on my insurance since it is way cheaper and we will split those bills.
    One small car payment, no credit bearing debt outside of the mortgage, almost all medical bills paid off, credit scores on the rise.
    We are at the point of lining that all out in the document to split the marriage and me moving out but the last piece, and the most important/anxiety creating thing to me, is the house.
    Compared to skiing I have survived the hideous drive up LCC during a road closure, surly telewhacker locals in the parking lot, tree wells, angry ermine and a moose or two on this skin track of this marriage, as well as my own inability to shred this gnar like I'd like to. I have ended up at the base of the last big pitch wondering how I made it this far relatively unscathed and still wanting to move forward.
    The big danger now is that fluffy pow paradise of money sitting in the windloaded starting zone of finance that I don't understand.

    Wife wants to stay in the house, I want my half of the equity, we are both on the title. Current thought is to refinance at these historically low rates, pull the equity out that I have developed and get it into my hot little hands so I can bounce, and in parallel take me off of the title and have full responsibility for the domicile go to her.

    Is this plan advisable or even possible?

    Would it fuck up a refi process for the extra title work to put it into her name?

    Would it be better to write up a "sale" of the house from us combined to her solo, for less than it is worth, fast track it with no inspections and then I get my half equity that way? I have a dirt pimp friend who might be able to help. Smells shady but I am always down for an illegal life protip as long as I understand the risk involved. Well-to-do folk make shady moves all the time to increase their bottom line we should be able to too DAMMIT!

    I think our concerns are more fiduciary than legal at this point. Am I missing something?

    Are there any Utard mags, or out of state mags if that would work, who are in the mortgage or title bidness and want a crack at the commission on this?


    We are in a FHA mortgage with a balloon payment at the end.
    I lost my job 4 years ago with no liquid savings and some legislation from the housing crisis helped us stay in our house (thanks Obama!) by lowering the payment to something we could afford at the time and pushing the difference into a balloon at the end.
    Ballpark we owe about 200k including balloon (I need to validate that) and according to Zillow it's Zworth is 425,000
    A little napkin math, carry the 1, divide by the hypotenuse of the square root of the transit of the moon and I come up with 112.5K as my half of the equity.
    That would be a nice van AND a plot of land to call my own on the bank of that river, although realistically if I could get half of that without a ton of hassle I would probably not cry about it.
    I've agreed to cover half of the closing costs, would pay off my daughters graduation present car out of my nut, and continue to offer my sweat equity to help her improve the property so long as my son still lives with her and she has not moved in a new swinging dick. Not that she can't get hers, but fuck me busting my ass on her joint when HTFB V2.0 gets to play with them sweet tiddies in my bed.
    My worry that there is another housing, budget, or constitutional crisis on the horizon, lots of volatility in all directions, and would like to seal the deal on this ASAP while the wife is agreeable instead of drawing it out through Nov 3rd or Trump going full fascist dictator and remanding all personal property of the non-believers over to the state as the re-education pogroms commence /endpollyasshattery.

    Since I started lurking here in the early TRG days, to when I finally stepped up and made a account in 2007, to this day where the majority of my IRL friends are from this board,
    I feel that I am in the red on my karmic bank account for the good that the TGR has given me vs. the good I have paid back to the TRG.
    A sad existence to the outsider but these people who I now shamelessly call my friends are fucking outstanding humans and they fucking rock!


    With that said I appreciate you fuckos and any words of wisdom you could share.
    I commit to putting that bank account into the black as I move forward.
    I can't wait for that karmic retribution to be the #1 thing on the HTFB improvement pareto!

    Cheers!
    HTFB

    /endsweetblogbro!
    Last edited by happytimefunbox; 08-20-2020 at 01:28 PM. Reason: teh spellingz and blog sweetening
    Bunny Don't Surf

    Have you seen a one armed man around here?

  24. #4649
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    The Mayonnaisium
    Posts
    10,467
    Keep going, HTFB.

  25. #4650
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    my own little world
    Posts
    5,838

    Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

    Sorry dude. Tough times. Glad you’re able to get far enough away to get perspective.

    No advice or anything. I could opine on some of that shit but I mostly just make stuff up anyways. I’ll let somebody else make shit up to tell you.

    Here’s to looking forward to peace and happiness and wholeness and all that other stuff in the future. I’d still take the dumpy old house I’m in right now and all the feel goods over 10 minutes in a nice house with my ex who always went out of her way to make me feel like less (as if that made her more).

    Cheers!
    focus.

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