Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

**fastfred** · 02-15-2019, 08:11 AM

Originally Posted by Gcooker

Once this narrative changes, I'll write about my week of being lit up by a friend with benefits that told me she is in love with me and wants to be exclusive... which I've discussed with her over and over and the answer is no, I'm in no rush for that. Now I'm barred from contacting her, friendship seemingly over but the uncomfortable scenario of close proximity and intermingled friends and work. Sucks hurting people, it was my goal from the outset not to.

FWB situation is rough, had one in high school and afterwards for a couple years, it was pretty good, we both swore up and down to our friends we'd never hook up again and then guess what? There is no real take away from this because it was high school

I have another one, sorta, that has been going on for two years now, there are things about her that are great and alot of things that I can't stand, hence why it has devolved from a relationship to a fwb, I was looking for an out on the relationship part, and thankfully she gave me one, when she went through my phone one night and then procedded to wake me up in the middle of the night to start asking questions about who I called, texted, and all this other shit. I asked her if she ever read "ask amy" and that she should know nothing good comes from snooping, she moved her suitcases out the next day

Poor girl needs major doses of downers and maybe I could handle her. she is so amp'd up she's runs at about 100 mph. One day she took the dogs for a walk, a quick bike ride, then ran an easy 14er, jumped in the car and drove to work three hours away and worked the night shift. That's a normal day for her. Well sure as fuck she was in town this week and she had a major melt down on me. It's not really worth it I tell myself, even though she has lots of dough, houses in nice places, and is successful, she's pretty nutty at the end of the day

**oftpiste** · 02-15-2019, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by fastfred

she has lots of dough, houses in nice places, and is successful, she's pretty nutty at the end of the day

Girl of my dreams. Send her along.

**fastfred** · 02-15-2019, 09:00 AM

Originally Posted by oftpiste

Girl of my dreams. Send her along.

not worth it bro, sorry, not worth it

now that I think of it, my ex wife and I were FWB for about a year before she put the smack down and ended that game

**tbssux** · 02-15-2019, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by fastfred

worked the night shift. has lots of dough, houses in nice places

Stripper/hedge fund manager?

**PNWbrit** · 02-15-2019, 10:01 AM

Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper

I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to read any Harry Potter, ever

Thinking of getting this ^ made as a hood sticker.

**fastfred** · 02-15-2019, 10:46 AM

Originally Posted by tbssux

Stripper/hedge fund manager?

no
some people are book smart and some people have common sense
let's just say she'd book smart and can get me my ED and low T drugs

**Timberridge** · 02-15-2019, 10:53 AM

Originally Posted by oftpiste

I had a very enlightened person - a relationship coach - tell me something that changed the way I think about 'hurting people'. I was explaining a relationship I was in that sounded similar to cooker's, though she was more than a FWB.

A woman I was dating wanted to be exclusive. I'd been clear from the outset that wasn't in my game plan, but I was fully invested in being all there when we hung out. I didn't want to hurt her and didn't know what to do. The coach asked me if other people's feelings were my fault. I said, 'of course they are, if they get hurt because of some position I took'.

She gave me a long, inquisitive look then pointed out that I had been clear, honest and intentional about my needs and desires. As such, the woman's feelings were not my fault at all. The were her feelings and not caused by me. It makes a lot of sense and I have since started working on not being responsible for others' feelings.

Of course, clear communication, honesty, intention and authenticity in your own behavior completely underlie thinking about it this way. If you're being disingenuous to get laid or something like that then yeah, you can hurt someone. But if you are genuinely showing up what your friend is feeling is not something you caused.

Give yourself a break. I have no doubt it's sad to be where you are, but her feelings are not your fault if you were honest with her. She has made a choice to stop seeing you and end the friendship because your needs don't align. That's her choice, if she's angry at you that's her choice too.

**glademaster** · 02-15-2019, 11:21 AM

I sure hold myself to a much stricter set of ethics regarding interpersonal relationships than a lot of folks here. To each their own, but I'm glad I made the decision to not succumb to the siren song of moral turpitude.

**Timberridge** · 02-15-2019, 11:34 AM

Our prisons are already full of those who heeded the siren song of moral turpitude.

**PNWbrit** · 02-15-2019, 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by glademaster

the siren song of moral turpitude.

That shit will also get you thrown out of Hogwarts.

But probably not the Las Vegas branch of the Jaguar owners club.

**Mustonen** · 02-15-2019, 11:58 AM

Originally Posted by glademaster

I sure hold myself to a much stricter set of ethics regarding interpersonal relationships than a lot of folks here. To each their own, but I'm glad I made the decision to not succumb to the siren song of moral turpitude.

What, exactly, are you talking about?

Point out the turpitude directly rather than obliquely stroke yourself over your apparent virtue.

Because I read your post as self righteous bullshit, but I’d like to explore it because that doesn’t really strike me as in character for you.

**skaredshtles** · 02-15-2019, 12:36 PM

Originally Posted by Mustonen

What, exactly, are you talking about?

Point out the turpitude directly rather than obliquely stroke yourself over your apparent virtue.

Because I read your post as self righteous bullshit, but I’d like to explore it because that doesn’t really strike me as in character for you.

He just wanted to use bigly words to impress all of us.

**Cono Este** · 02-15-2019, 06:17 PM

Looks like the meter is running again.

Amazing how chics can go from completely insane to normal with just a little reminder.

“Be careful I said, I’m a fucking all American”

Jury is still out if I’d be better off with the whole weed/motorcycle/bum gig instead.

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**John_B** · 02-15-2019, 06:54 PM

Originally Posted by glademaster

I sure hold myself to a much stricter set of ethics regarding interpersonal relationships than a lot of folks here. To each their own, but I'm glad I made the decision to not succumb to the siren song of moral turpitude.

I'm pretty sure that moral turpitude is one of the items you are not allowed to mail with the USPS. Close call.

**nest** · 02-15-2019, 08:31 PM

Originally Posted by glademaster

I sure hold myself to a much stricter set of ethics regarding interpersonal relationships than a lot of folks here. To each their own, but I'm glad I made the decision to not succumb to the siren song of moral turpitude.

You are such a weird dude

**4matic** · 02-15-2019, 10:26 PM

Originally Posted by Cono Este

Jury is still out if I’d be better off with the whole weed/motorcycle/bum gig instead.
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Bird in the hand. Consider your older self with an injury or issue that keeps you from being ski bum or riding...then all you have is the weed. That's ok but someone to lean on long term is worth consideration.

**Rip'nStick** · 02-16-2019, 01:55 AM

You guys missed your mark with mental masturbation. Sad

**throwitaway9876** · 02-19-2019, 11:48 PM

Quick update- I head overseas tomorrow for a 10 day trip. As previously stated, I'm pretty burned out on work travel.

It's tough not really having a lot going on in my personal life to distract me this past week. PNG is out of town for the next month and I'm not around enough this month to have time to date other girls. I made a potential blunder and slept with my ex recently. Ugh...maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was to turn off feelings after a long relationship. /blog

**MakersTeleMark** · 02-19-2019, 11:56 PM

That was a big mistake, but I'm sure you can make up for it on the trip and PNG won't be the wiser.

10 whores and 5 martinis. Then you'll be absolved.

**Mustonen** · 02-20-2019, 08:57 AM

Originally Posted by throwitaway9876

Quick update- I head overseas tomorrow for a 10 day trip. As previously stated, I'm pretty burned out on work travel.

It's tough not really having a lot going on in my personal life to distract me this past week. PNG is out of town for the next month and I'm not around enough this month to have time to date other girls. I made a potential blunder and slept with my ex recently. Ugh...maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was to turn off feelings after a long relationship. /blog

Oof.

That’s one thing I never struggled with. The very idea makes my skin crawl. She’s not unattractive, got in pretty good shape and the sex had always been good (when it happened) but, no desire to go there ever again, even the few times she made passes when we first split up.

**skaredshtles** · 02-20-2019, 11:15 AM

Originally Posted by throwitaway9876

Quick update- I head overseas tomorrow for a 10 day trip. As previously stated, I'm pretty burned out on work travel.

It's tough not really having a lot going on in my personal life to distract me this past week. PNG is out of town for the next month and I'm not around enough this month to have time to date other girls. I made a potential blunder and slept with my ex recently. Ugh...maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was to turn off feelings after a long relationship. /blog

Hey - at least you're living up to your username!

**neufox47** · 02-20-2019, 11:32 AM

Originally Posted by delco714

I see some humor yeah. I drive a 100k jaguar. It has a sticker on it.

I also like Batman. I have a Batman tattoo. Have at it

I’m not saying you said you were a MD, but I definitely thought you were a MD. I hope you bought that Jag used man. PA money isn’t enough to be throwing away $80k on a car in my professional opinion.

FWIW I think you are generally a good sport about all the shit you take. A lot of people would have left when they started posting pics of you from insta.

**delco714** · 02-20-2019, 11:34 AM

Originally Posted by neufox47

I’m not saying you said you were a MD, but I definitely thought you were a MD. I hope you bought that Jag used man. PA money isn’t enough to be throwing away $80k on a car in my professional opinion.

FWIW I think you are generally a good sport about all the shit you take. A lot of people would have left when they started posting pics of you from insta.

I make twice the salary of the average PA

And I did buy used. Car like that loses 30% or more within 2-3 years. Mine had 5k miles and was hardly used. Smelled new. CPO. Can't beat that.

Vegas car insurance is probably highest in the country

SB · 02-20-2019, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by 4matic

Bird in the hand.

Or on yer head with a falcon sex hat, recommended by our own BP.

**DBdude** · 02-20-2019, 12:37 PM

Originally Posted by delco714

Nope. As a son,a brother, cousin, nephew, second cousin, friend, citizen of Earth, generally observant individual, study-er of psychology, and avid reader, I have my own viable perspective on raising children. The "you need to be a parent before you talk" thing is overused and a fallacy. Maybe even stated by those who could use a few lessons on childrearing. You think all parents are even fit to be such? Cmon

I used to think that- then I shared my dna

You do not pass go and do not collect $200

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