Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

[MakersTeleMark]

I don't need Mike to breed anymore, but otherwise, an acid trip, a couple hugs and IPA's, and some new enlightenment would be my prescription for him.

Signed,
Not a certified Life Coach.

[~mikey b]

No IPA for me
That was my struggle

But I could use some legal help.

[MakersTeleMark]

No IPA for me
That was my struggle

But I could use some legal help.

Call, e-mail, or pm me anytime my friend. I'm a pro boner for you.

[~mikey b]

Thanks

I will be in touch

[~mikey b]

I don't need Mike to breed anymore.

I got snipped in the fall.

What a cute young nurse (35) sees in a crusty old patroller (49) I’ll never know. But she smiles at me in that way.

[Danno]

It's the beard.

[delco714]

Good one.

Early signs - immediately working to create a wedge between me and long term friends.

Drastic reduction in physical intimacy as soon as we moved in together before getting married.

Bad temper. First argument she slammed her laptop closed and I think slammed it on the floor.

Ridiculous over the top monthly cycles. I mean screaming and cussing at me like clockwork. I remember looking through my phone and being able to pinpoint when her cycle was. Including the whole "I love you, you're the best thing in the world" phase right after her cycle would end.

I'm no Saint here. I have had a lot of my own shit to work through. 3 years sober when we met after a lifetime of drug and alcohol abuse. Then trying to relearn behaviors. Being diagnosed, first with Adhd, then with bi-polar, now the new diagnoses is borderline personality disorder.

Shit situation all the way around. We are being civil with each other. Not sure how things are going to play out. Funny thing is, at this point I don't really want to stay married to her. Even if she were to change her mind, I'm just over it. I just worry about the kids. Especially the babies. I also know I'm walking away empty handed financially. It just sucks.

Borderline personality

[Art Shirk]

Sorry to hear SS/DBS - wishing you some solace.

[iceman]

In the meantime get out of Dodge for 3-4 days a month maybe.

We walk a tightrope in my house. Neither one of us is willing to take any shit from the other and so we try to stay away from the edge. It's like India and Pakistan in Kashmir, neither one of us really wants to blow up the world but if it's on it's on. We'll see. 4 times in the past 18 months it's been go time and 4 times we somehow didn't launch the nukes but the finger was on the button.What happens the 5th time is anyone's guess.

[~mikey b]

It's the beard.

I trimmed the beard.

[iceman]

Mikey, I obviously never met her but isn't she from Rhode Island? Everyone in that state is crazy, I shoulda warned you.

[~mikey b]

NH

Her sister is RI

[powdrhound]

What a cute young nurse (35) sees in a crusty old patroller (49) I’ll never know. But she smiles at me in that way.

Because IRL you are a nice, smart guy.

[oftpiste]

May I, from experience and with affection, suggest you take a step before it blows up again?

I spent several years walking that tightrope and in hindsight realize it was a deep and paralyzing fear of an unknown future that kept me from seeking my own happiness and relief from so much misery. I'm not accusing you of anything, just what I now see in my rearview mirror. I lost some very valuable years of my life because of it and wish I hadn't, but glad I finally got the message. No regrets.

You can't imagine the possibilities ahead. I couldn't have begun to. My future looks very different than I ever expected it to look, but life is now full of smiles, truth, honesty, amazing new relationships with really wonderful people, contentment and yes, happiness. Perhaps more importantly, it is now without that constant, crippling anxiety that accompanies long-term tightrope walking. You will regain self-respect that you might not even realize you've lost, remember wonderful things about yourself that you and others may have forgotten in the shuffle, and your life will be better and healthier.

There will be considerable suckage for sure, but if you take those steps outside of a battle zone the suckage will likely be dramatically reduced. And it will end. And you'll be glad you did it.

We walk a tightrope in my house. Neither one of us is willing to take any shit from the other and so we try to stay away from the edge. It's like India and Pakistan in Kashmir, neither one of us really wants to blow up the world but if it's on it's on. We'll see. 4 times in the past 18 months it's been go time and 4 times we somehow didn't launch the nukes but the finger was on the button.What happens the 5th time is anyone's guess.

[throwitaway9876]

May I, from experience and with affection, suggest you take a step before it blows up again?

I spent several years walking that tightrope and in hindsight realize it was a deep and paralyzing fear of an unknown future that kept me from seeking my own happiness and relief from so much misery. I'm not accusing you of anything, just what I now see in my rearview mirror. I lost some very valuable years of my life because of it and wish I hadn't, but glad I finally got the message. No regrets.

You can't imagine the possibilities ahead. I couldn't have begun to. My future looks very different than I ever expected it to look, but life is now full of smiles, truth, honesty, amazing new relationships with really wonderful people, contentment and yes, happiness. Perhaps more importantly, it is now without that constant, crippling anxiety that accompanies long-term tightrope walking. You will regain self-respect that you might not even realize you've lost, remember wonderful things about yourself that you and others may have forgotten in the shuffle, and your life will be better and healthier.

There will be considerable suckage for sure, but if you take those steps outside of a battle zone the suckage will likely be dramatically reduced. And it will end. And you'll be glad you did it.

It's hard to imagine a life of full of trust and smiles. Having been cheated on by a friend (and my ex cheating with the husband of one of her close friends) I've taken a very negative view of humanity. I see most people being self-interested assholes who are only nice out of convenience, but ready to backstab and fuck over anybody the moment they cross paths with temptation or opportunity. I run into it happening every day in the corporate battleground that is my work life and I've seen it happen across so many relationships that I've observed. Most people are shitty, miserable fucks who have no integrity.

I've since found out that my ex cheated with at least three people. This shit has seriously fucked me up and no amount of counseling has been able to fix it. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to trust anyone, especially a romantic partner.

[oftpiste]

I get it. There's a lot of work to get there, and a lot that has to continue. But it's worth it. I didn't think I'd EVER feel better. Strangely enough I do, and you will too. Eventually.

I've been where you are (and then some maybe), and through behaviors beyond imagination. But there are people who are real and not so fucked up (everyone has some shit) and will treat you right.

It's of some benefit to do some real [re]thinking and evaluation about attachment and permanence. Both of which assumptions lead us down all kinds of potentially disastrous primrose paths.

It's hard to imagine a life of full of trust and smiles. Having been cheated on by a friend (and my ex cheating with the husband of one of her close friends) I've taken a very negative view of humanity. I see most people being self-interested assholes who are only nice out of convenience, but ready to backstab and fuck over anybody the moment they cross paths with temptation or opportunity. I run into it happening every day in the corporate battleground that is my work life and I've seen it happen across so many relationships that I've observed. Most people are shitty, miserable fucks who have no integrity.

I've since found out that my ex cheated with at least three people. This shit has seriously fucked me up and no amount of counseling has been able to fix it.

[Danno]

It's hard to imagine a life of full of trust and smiles. Having been cheated on by a friend (and my ex cheating with the husband of one of her close friends) I've taken a very negative view of humanity. I see most people being self-interested assholes who are only nice out of convenience, but ready to backstab and fuck over anybody the moment they cross paths with temptation or opportunity. I run into it happening every day in the corporate battleground that is my work life and I've seen it happen across so many relationships that I've observed. Most people are shitty, miserable fucks who have no integrity.

I've since found out that my ex cheated with at least three people. This shit has seriously fucked me up and no amount of counseling has been able to fix it. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to trust anyone, especially a romantic partner.

Just realize that it might have been multiple people she cheated with, but it was just one ex, the same woman that you already knew cheated on you. IOW, this new info doesn't change what you already knew about her, that she was a cheater and not someone you should be with. It also does not change what you knew about other people; the fact that she cheated more than once doesn't make someone else a cheater or not.

[~mikey b]

So here’s the deal.

I was drinking destructively. I was sneaking and hiding. I was being an idiot and an asshole. I was not living up to my potential. She kicked me out. I went to rehab and I relapsed and I went to rehab again.

I wanted - I still want - to make it work, but it’s not going to happen. She doesn’t trust me. She’s done.

I’ve moved to Bear Valley and my life is a lot better now than it was last summer and fall. I’m finally beyond the depression and anxiety. I’m not happy my marriage is over, I’ve accepted it.

The problem lately is that she has been very uncool to me. Insulting me, refusing to communicate, and just generally acting like a bitch. I understand. She’s hurt and lonely and scared. I let her down. So she’s lashing out at me. I don’t take the bait. I refuse to fight and I just try to be nice and be calm and not react to it badly.

We own a house together and a lot of crap. I don’t want her to have to sell the house. She always contributed a lot more than me to our family income, so I don’t really expect half the house. I don’t know how any of this works. I think we are going to use the same lawyer as a mediator.

Owen is with her, and I see him a bunch. We skied together yesterday and he’s coming here to stay a few days this week on his spring break. He’s not happy about this. He wants us together and me back home. But he understands that isn’t going to happen. I’ve thought about trying to go back to DR, but he gave me the green light to stay over here. My goal is to find a place closer to him rather than here two hours away.

It’s awkward now but I think we will eventually figure out how to get along better.

We’ve only just recently decided for sure that we are divorcing. We are not in a huge hurry but we’ve got to get it done.


Then a few weeks ago, a woman I sorta know asked me if I was going to be able to get out and ski some laps or if I was busy. I told her I was sorta busy with training for some new guys. She asked me again more insistently and it suddenly dawned on me that she was flirting with me. I told the boys that training was done for the day. We skied a bunch that day and a few others, and went for a tour last weekend. She’s really cool and really pretty and I dig her. She’s a single mom and recently out of a relationship. Neither of us is ready to jump into a relationship but we enjoy each other’s company. She’s busy as hell and hard to pin down. If anything is going to work out it will take some time.

And she’s a snowboarder. I guess I’m going to have to stop heckling snowboarders.

[My Pet Powder Goat]

I'm nominating Oftpiste for mag of year award.

Sent from my SM-N960U using TGR Forums mobile app

[Danno]

Mike, sorry to hear all that. Sounds like you have some perspective, which is good. Wish you all the best.

[~mikey b]

I’m finding peace my friend.

[SB]

Make your own happy ness.

Teleroll and stand back up.

[~mikey b]

I started alpine skiing again for the first time in 25 years

[riser4]

I started alpine skiing again for the first time in 25 years

What's next? Cats laying with dogs??? That's some end of days type shit right there. Hoping things get better for you. And I skied the skis with your old Voile risers on them the other day. I thought of you. No tele turns were made, it was funky snow. I skied with my youngest son today who is Owen's age. I relish those moments.

[MakersTeleMark]

Hanging with snowboarders = A reason to tele again.