Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

[MakersTeleMark]

I always tell people, well you married them.

[Falcon3]

show up at the door with a long jacket on to reveal a racing outfit

Road racing or ski racing? Was she wearing a helmet?

I’m imagining this under a long jacket.

[MakersTeleMark]

Marriage:

[Cono Este]

The whole structure is so overtly adversarial. It’s hard not to fight when you’re tossed into the ring, a situation that’s more or less guaranteed to bring out the worst in us despite all of our best intentions.

It’s about winning and losing. And there are few winners. Every victory is pyrrhic.

It shouldn’t have to be like that.

I’ve said this before. Schmuck divorce attorneys follow a play book. Secure the primary home, custody during separation and they hit the unsuspecting partner like a piano falling from the 5th floor.

Did I ever post that I ran into that fucker my wife hired on a dark street one night? Probably shouldn’t have done it, but the little fucker tried shaking my hand. I told him he was a piece of shit and watching him clue into the fact he was all alone was humorous.

Hopefully he’s now trying the world a better place.


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[MakersTeleMark]

I’ve said this before. Schmuck divorce attorneys follow a play book. Secure the primary home, custody during separation and they hit the unsuspecting partner like a piano falling from the 5th floor.

Did I ever post that I ran into that fucker my wife hired on a dark street one night? Probably shouldn’t have done it, but the little fucker tried shaking my hand. I told him he was a piece of shit and watching him clue into the fact he was all alone was humorous.

Hopefully he’s now trying the world a better place.


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I'm sorry you can't get over your poor decisions. And I'm glad you paid and are paying for it. There is no play book FYI. We just deal with assholes like you and your ex. You are the traffic. Ney, you are the asshole. Yes, I am calling you out. You are an asshole. But so much talking, but easy money. Suck a fart. Little tip, we don't want or seek the pain, but as soon as you do, rate goes up because of people like you. Like I wake up in the morning and want to deal with a messy divorce. Give me a break. I'd run you over and bleed you dry, just because of your attitude. You are the problem. And that bitch you married.

Get the fuck over it.

I don't think we have a resident divorce lawyer here but me. I limit myself to 2 per year, one pro boner. I do this because I understand that exposing myself to max pain is good for keeping my joints at their limits to maintain full flex and I tele. The other one is to pay bills and make up for the many hours that I gift. And the people that bitch and don't get over it are just bitches. I'm not Jewish, schmuck, if you knew my name, not circumcised, and you are just a fucking asshole. Stop posting. Seriously.

I am really glad that I got that out to you because you have been bugging me for a long time and I've pretty much ignored you but you are a pure asshole, and I'm glad to get that out and stomp your face. Now please go on, enjoy your life, and try to think about why you are posting something and the effect that it may have.

[MakersTeleMark]

The whole structure is so overtly adversarial. It’s hard not to fight when you’re tossed into the ring, a situation that’s more or less guaranteed to bring out the worst in us despite all of our best intentions.

It’s about winning and losing. And there are few winners. Every victory is pyrrhic.

It shouldn’t have to be like that.

You are wrong. I'm sorry that people carry on this winning shit into the end of their relationship. I have done dozens of good divorces where it's just a cry fest and about the kids. Seriously. It's you and your partner projecting into litigation. It doesn't have to be that way.

The win is the kids btw. Please. Put yourself in the shoes of a beat down woman. I don't tread that line. I look at things objectively, I don't judge because I've seen abuse in many forms both ways, and I try to make it quick like a hair cut. And I follow up with massive pushes for self therapy.

The system is not adversarial. It is, if you want it. See Johnny Depp. I've done multiple day trials. It's fucking stupid.

I've also helped many couples ease gently out of their relationships legally. It's not pretty, but it's actually graceful in a way. And a good way. Especially for the kids.

Or you can just keep on throwing wine glasses at each other.

19 years of doing this, not exclusively, but I've learned a hellava lot about relationships.

To be honest and personal, it really has affected my shit about people. Deeply. I don't know what it would take for someone to enter into a relationship with me given my massive distrust, because I'm old enough to not really care about looks, and character is everything, but I harbor a deep distrust for ulterior motives. Even though I would be open to date someone who is young enough to be viable for kids, I don't want that, don't want to lead them on either, but that pretty much leaves me in the woods. And I have come around to understanding that I am OK with that, as much as that makes me sad. That is pretty much the biggest truth that you all will get out of me.

And the rest is just a sack of bullshit posting on the internet. Please don't take it personally. Or do and ignore me. I do. Can you put yourself on ignore? That would be next level shit. Because every day I deal with the most fucked up shit in the world, and I look forward to the tray lunches from a compadre down the 70 to make me laugh and realize there is always a tomorrow. Maybe taco?

Dood, for serious, why no taco?

[liv2ski]

Road racing or ski racing? Was she wearing a helmet?

I’m imagining this under a long jacket.

You have a bad imagination buddy

[TahoeJ]

You’re seriously trying to suggest there aren’t divorce lawyers out there who escalate the situation? Come on, I’m not even going to bother arguing with that.

[skiJ]

I'm sorry you can't get over your poor decisions. And I'm glad you paid and are paying for it. There is no play book FYI. We just deal with assholes like you and your ex. You are the traffic. Ney, you are the asshole. Yes, I am calling you out. You are an asshole. But so much talking, but easy money. Suck a fart. Little tip, we don't want or seek the pain, but as soon as you do, rate goes up because of people like you. Like I wake up in the morning and want to deal with a messy divorce. Give me a break. I'd run you over and bleed you dry, just because of your attitude. You are the problem. And that bitch you married.

Get the fuck over it.

I don't think we have a resident divorce lawyer here but me. I limit myself to 2 per year, one pro boner. I do this because I understand that exposing myself to max pain is good for keeping my joints at their limits to maintain full flex and I tele. The other one is to pay bills and make up for the many hours that I gift. And the people that bitch and don't get over it are just bitches. I'm not Jewish, schmuck, if you knew my name, not circumcised, and you are just a fucking asshole. Stop posting. Seriously.

I am really glad that I got that out to you because you have been bugging me for a long time and I've pretty much ignored you but you are a pure asshole, and I'm glad to get that out and stomp your face. Now please go on, enjoy your life, and try to think about why you are posting something and the effect that it may have.

wow.

[skiJ]

You are wrong. I'm sorry that people carry on this winning shit into the end of their relationship. I have done dozens of good divorces where it's just a cry fest and about the kids. Seriously. It's you and your partner projecting into litigation. It doesn't have to be that way.

The win is the kids btw. Please. Put yourself in the shoes of a beat down woman. I don't tread that line. I look at things objectively, I don't judge because I've seen abuse in many forms both ways, and I try to make it quick like a hair cut. And I follow up with massive pushes for self therapy.

The system is not adversarial. It is, if you want it. See Johnny Depp. I've done multiple day trials. It's fucking stupid.

I've also helped many couples ease gently out of their relationships legally. It's not pretty, but it's actually graceful in a way. And a good way. Especially for the kids.

Or you can just keep on throwing wine glasses at each other.

19 years of doing this, not exclusively, but I've learned a hellava lot about relationships.

To be honest and personal, it really has affected my shit about people. Deeply. I don't know what it would take for someone to enter into a relationship with me given my massive distrust, because I'm old enough to not really care about looks, and character is everything, but I harbor a deep distrust for ulterior motives. Even though I would be open to date someone who is young enough to be viable for kids, I don't want that, don't want to lead them on either, but that pretty much leaves me in the woods. And I have come around to understanding that I am OK with that, as much as that makes me sad. That is pretty much the biggest truth that you all will get out of me.

And the rest is just a sack of bullshit posting on the internet. Please don't take it personally. Or do and ignore me. I do. Can you put yourself on ignore? That would be next level shit. Because every day I deal with the most fucked up shit in the world, and I look forward to the tray lunches from a compadre down the 70 to make me laugh and realize there is always a tomorrow. Maybe taco?

Dood, for serious, why no taco?

also, wow.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

You are wrong. I'm sorry that people carry on this winning shit into the end of their relationship. I have done dozens of good divorces where it's just a cry fest and about the kids. Seriously. It's you and your partner projecting into litigation. It doesn't have to be that way.

The win is the kids btw. Please. Put yourself in the shoes of a beat down woman. I don't tread that line. I look at things objectively, I don't judge because I've seen abuse in many forms both ways, and I try to make it quick like a hair cut. And I follow up with massive pushes for self therapy.

The system is not adversarial. It is, if you want it. See Johnny Depp. I've done multiple day trials. It's fucking stupid.

I've also helped many couples ease gently out of their relationships legally. It's not pretty, but it's actually graceful in a way. And a good way. Especially for the kids.

Or you can just keep on throwing wine glasses at each other.

19 years of doing this, not exclusively, but I've learned a hellava lot about relationships.

To be honest and personal, it really has affected my shit about people. Deeply. I don't know what it would take for someone to enter into a relationship with me given my massive distrust, because I'm old enough to not really care about looks, and character is everything, but I harbor a deep distrust for ulterior motives. Even though I would be open to date someone who is young enough to be viable for kids, I don't want that, don't want to lead them on either, but that pretty much leaves me in the woods. And I have come around to understanding that I am OK with that, as much as that makes me sad. That is pretty much the biggest truth that you all will get out of me.

And the rest is just a sack of bullshit posting on the internet. Please don't take it personally. Or do and ignore me. I do. Can you put yourself on ignore? That would be next level shit. Because every day I deal with the most fucked up shit in the world, and I look forward to the tray lunches from a compadre down the 70 to make me laugh and realize there is always a tomorrow. Maybe taco?

Dood, for serious, why no taco?

This is funny because the entire post is judgmental and assholish


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[Mustonen]

You are wrong. I'm sorry that people carry on this winning shit into the end of their relationship. I have done dozens of good divorces where it's just a cry fest and about the kids. Seriously. It's you and your partner projecting into litigation. It doesn't have to be that way.

The win is the kids btw. Please. Put yourself in the shoes of a beat down woman. I don't tread that line. I look at things objectively, I don't judge because I've seen abuse in many forms both ways, and I try to make it quick like a hair cut. And I follow up with massive pushes for self therapy.

The system is not adversarial. It is, if you want it. See Johnny Depp. I've done multiple day trials. It's fucking stupid.

I've also helped many couples ease gently out of their relationships legally. It's not pretty, but it's actually graceful in a way. And a good way. Especially for the kids.

Or you can just keep on throwing wine glasses at each other.

19 years of doing this, not exclusively, but I've learned a hellava lot about relationships.

To be honest and personal, it really has affected my shit about people. Deeply. I don't know what it would take for someone to enter into a relationship with me given my massive distrust, because I'm old enough to not really care about looks, and character is everything, but I harbor a deep distrust for ulterior motives. Even though I would be open to date someone who is young enough to be viable for kids, I don't want that, don't want to lead them on either, but that pretty much leaves me in the woods. And I have come around to understanding that I am OK with that, as much as that makes me sad. That is pretty much the biggest truth that you all will get out of me.

And the rest is just a sack of bullshit posting on the internet. Please don't take it personally. Or do and ignore me. I do. Can you put yourself on ignore? That would be next level shit. Because every day I deal with the most fucked up shit in the world, and I look forward to the tray lunches from a compadre down the 70 to make me laugh and realize there is always a tomorrow. Maybe taco?

Dood, for serious, why no taco?

I guess I appreciate your perspective, but I’m curious which mechanisms exist to deescalate these situations? Outside of some of the collaborative law initiatives that Root suggested that you took him to ridiculous task for, where are they? I don’t see any incentives built around NOT fighting to the death. The lawyers certainly don’t win.

It took more effort for me to NOT fight than it would have to just say fuck it and burn everything down, and this wasn’t just brought on by my ex (who is a terrible person that I married who I should not have married, acknowledged, thanks). This was brought on by every corner of the system I encountered. My kids’ mother should have the financial stability to make good decisions and provide a good home for my kids without the psychological warfare of me controlling the purse strings, and even the judge questioned that decision. My kids should 100% spend equal time with both parents, but no part of the system afforded that without fighting for it; more nights = more money, so you’re tossed into the fucking octagon.

No, I’m not interested in impugning your character publicly and making wild accusations in a court of law to tip the scales into my favor so I am able to take my kids on an occasional vacation and share more in their lives. I see them 40% of the time and that’s my “win.”

[Cono Este]

You’re seriously trying to suggest there aren’t divorce lawyers out there who escalate the situation? Come on, I’m not even going to bother arguing with that.

I guess his bitter ass speaks for all lowlife divorce attorneys. what a fucking liar.

Can anyone believe he is considered “counsel” for anything?

I hope his work is free, because he’s one shitty attorney.







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[Cono Este]

You are wrong. I'm sorry that people carry on this winning shit into the end of their relationship. I have done dozens of good divorces where it's just a cry fest and about the kids. Seriously. It's you and your partner projecting into litigation. It doesn't have to be that way.

The win is the kids btw. Please. Put yourself in the shoes of a beat down woman. I don't tread that line. I look at things objectively, I don't judge because I've seen abuse in many forms both ways, and I try to make it quick like a hair cut. And I follow up with massive pushes for self therapy.

The system is not adversarial. It is, if you want it. See Johnny Depp. I've done multiple day trials. It's fucking stupid.

I've also helped many couples ease gently out of their relationships legally. It's not pretty, but it's actually graceful in a way. And a good way. Especially for the kids.

Or you can just keep on throwing wine glasses at each other.

19 years of doing this, not exclusively, but I've learned a hellava lot about relationships.

To be honest and personal, it really has affected my shit about people. Deeply. I don't know what it would take for someone to enter into a relationship with me given my massive distrust, because I'm old enough to not really care about looks, and character is everything, but I harbor a deep distrust for ulterior motives. Even though I would be open to date someone who is young enough to be viable for kids, I don't want that, don't want to lead them on either, but that pretty much leaves me in the woods. And I have come around to understanding that I am OK with that, as much as that makes me sad. That is pretty much the biggest truth that you all will get out of me.

And the rest is just a sack of bullshit posting on the internet. Please don't take it personally. Or do and ignore me. I do. Can you put yourself on ignore? That would be next level shit. Because every day I deal with the most fucked up shit in the world, and I look forward to the tray lunches from a compadre down the 70 to make me laugh and realize there is always a tomorrow. Maybe taco?

Dood, for serious, why no taco?

This is so backwards. I’ve never met an attorney who needs to worry about his own client taking him out in the parking lot of the courthouse with a deer rifle.

Keep up the bad work.


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[Danno]

I guess I appreciate your perspective, but I’m curious which mechanisms exist to deescalate these situations? Outside of some of the collaborative law initiatives that Root suggested that you took him to ridiculous task for, where are they? I don’t see any incentives built around NOT fighting to the death. The lawyers certainly don’t win.

It took more effort for me to NOT fight than it would have to just say fuck it and burn everything down, and this wasn’t just brought on by my ex (who is a terrible person that I married who I should not have married, acknowledged, thanks). This was brought on by every corner of the system I encountered. My kids’ mother should have the financial stability to make good decisions and provide a good home for my kids without the psychological warfare of me controlling the purse strings, and even the judge questioned that decision. My kids should 100% spend equal time with both parents, but no part of the system afforded that without fighting for it; more nights = more money, so you’re tossed into the fucking octagon.

No, I’m not interested in impugning your character publicly and making wild accusations in a court of law to tip the scales into my favor so I am able to take my kids on an occasional vacation and share more in their lives. I see them 40% of the time and that’s my “win.”

The biggest mechanism that exists is that you don't have to even hire a lawyer to divorce. Spouses don't need to pay anyone to figure out how to split. And there's mediation as an option if they do hire someone. Certainly lawyers (anyone) spins their own narrative to the person seeking advice, and sometimes that advice might be to litigate/fight; heck, look at most of the advice in this thread, it's mostly warnings and beware and get a lawyer now. Yet somehow it's the system that is at fault? Ultimately it's on the parties involved to decide how they want to split, blaming it on the system rather than the involved parties, seems a bit off base. Which in part is certainly one point MTM was trying to (aggressively) make.

[TahoeJ]

The lawyers sure are getting defensive around here. The system isn't at fault but it's also severely flawed and sure as shit could be a lot better.

[oftpiste]

It took more effort for me to NOT fight than it would have to just say fuck it and burn everything down

this

[Danno]

The lawyers sure are getting defensive around here. The system isn't at fault but it's also severely flawed and sure as shit could be a lot better.

WTF? There was nothing defensive in my post, and never said there wasn't room for improvement. But I also think that there's a general desire to blame the other, the lawyers, the system, etc, because it absolves responsibility. That responsibility lies in a number of things, in antagonistic actions by the parties, in marrying someone crazy in the first place, or whatever. Yes, there are plenty of scumbag lawyers. But there are also a shit ton of lawyers who, you know, advise their clients and then do what the clients want. And when the other side is making threatening statements or making offers that are not balanced, sometimes that advice is going to include litigation options. But sure, it's the lawyers fault, it's the system's fault, for your shitty divorce.

[up an down]

I'm sorry you can't get over your poor decisions. And I'm glad you paid and are paying for it. There is no play book FYI. We just deal with assholes like you and your ex. You are the traffic. Ney, you are the asshole. Yes, I am calling you out. You are an asshole. But so much talking, but easy money. Suck a fart. Little tip, we don't want or seek the pain, but as soon as you do, rate goes up because of people like you. Like I wake up in the morning and want to deal with a messy divorce. Give me a break. I'd run you over and bleed you dry, just because of your attitude. You are the problem. And that bitch you married.

Get the fuck over it.

I don't think we have a resident divorce lawyer here but me. I limit myself to 2 per year, one pro boner. I do this because I understand that exposing myself to max pain is good for keeping my joints at their limits to maintain full flex and I tele. The other one is to pay bills and make up for the many hours that I gift. And the people that bitch and don't get over it are just bitches. I'm not Jewish, schmuck, if you knew my name, not circumcised, and you are just a fucking asshole. Stop posting. Seriously.

I am really glad that I got that out to you because you have been bugging me for a long time and I've pretty much ignored you but you are a pure asshole, and I'm glad to get that out and stomp your face. Now please go on, enjoy your life, and try to think about why you are posting something and the effect that it may have.

Best post ever from MTM

[Mustonen]

The biggest mechanism that exists is that you don't have to even hire a lawyer to divorce. Spouses don't need to pay anyone to figure out how to split. And there's mediation as an option if they do hire someone. Certainly lawyers (anyone) spins their own narrative to the person seeking advice, and sometimes that advice might be to litigate/fight; heck, look at most of the advice in this thread, it's mostly warnings and beware and get a lawyer now. Yet somehow it's the system that is at fault? Ultimately it's on the parties involved to decide how they want to split, blaming it on the system rather than the involved parties, seems a bit off base. Which in part is certainly one point MTM was trying to (aggressively) make.

Sure. I guess I’d point out those admonitions in this thread to get a lawyer as exhibit a. It’s baked into our culture and it is not obvious how to navigate and meaningfully protect your rights and advocate for the rights of your family outside of hiring representation. That isn’t the case everywhere. We’re just so goddamned litigious….

Michigan actually just passed a law (I think) that guarantees 50/50 custody outside of a contrary agreement or situations of abuse/neglect. Michigan is also “no fault”…. Both things that remove stuff to fight about. And that’s great…. We need more of that kind of thing.

[Danno]

Sure. I guess I’d point out those admonitions in this thread to get a lawyer as exhibit a. It’s baked into our culture and it is not obvious how to navigate and meaningfully protect your rights and advocate for the rights of your family outside of hiring representation. That isn’t the case everywhere. We’re just so goddamned litigious….

Michigan actually just passed a law (I think) that guarantees 50/50 custody outside of a contrary agreement or situations of abuse/neglect. Michigan is also “no fault”…. Both things that remove stuff to fight about. And that’s great…. We need more of that kind of thing.

Agreed on all points. It's totally baked into our culture, friends are always advising their divorcing friends to get a lawyer to protect their interests. And they're not wrong. But it certainly inhibits less adversarial approaches.

[Cono Este]

The biggest mechanism that exists is that you don't have to even hire a lawyer to divorce. Spouses don't need to pay anyone to figure out how to split. And there's mediation as an option if they do hire someone. Certainly lawyers (anyone) spins their own narrative to the person seeking advice, and sometimes that advice might be to litigate/fight; heck, look at most of the advice in this thread, it's mostly warnings and beware and get a lawyer now. Yet somehow it's the system that is at fault? Ultimately it's on the parties involved to decide how they want to split, blaming it on the system rather than the involved parties, seems a bit off base. Which in part is certainly one point MTM was trying to (aggressively) make.

Best thing that happened to me in my divorce is on my first visit home after a month, my ex left herself logged on to our AOL acct and I read the email between her and the lawyer. It was all planned out, they were playing me, seeing that immediately freed me emotionally.

When I confronted that A hole yrs later I called him out and he said he didn’t know about any of that, my ex did it. I have his emails.

Not all lawyers are bad, but some run a boiler plate practice and do run the same plays. No matter what dip shit makers mark knows. Hell, it was another maggot that save my ass and explained to me.


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[TahoeJ]

But sure, it's the lawyers fault, it's the system's fault, for your shitty divorce.

You're arguing against a straw man. No one said their divorce was because of the system, or a horrible experience because of the system, they're saying the divorce was far worse and more contentious and a bigger waste of money due to scumbag lawyers who unnecessarily escalated it. Sure, the client has to sign off on it at the end of the day but there's a lot of "just trust me on this" that occurs.

A few years later now that we're on better terms, my ex recently showed me the email exchange where her lawyer convinced her to file for full custody of our kids and was repeatedly insistent about it. It was despicable.

[fastfred]

MTM just laid out the truth and was honest as shit and people can't handle what he said? Fucking pussies

Divorce sucks cock but some of you people need to let the fuck go and get over it do yourselves a favor and try real hard goto therapy work on something besides bitching and moaning about how someone slipped there cock in your ass without permission

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[MagnificentUnicorn]

MTM just laid out the truth and was honest as shit and people can't handle what he said? Fucking pussies

Divorce sucks cock but some of you people need to let the fuck go and get over it do yourselves a favor and try real hard goto therapy work on something besides bitching and moaning about how someone slipped there cock in your ass without permission

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Stop using the word pussy to describe the weak you limp dick bottom


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