Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

[PNWbrit]

Again, you miserable prolapsed hemorrhoid of a human being

Careful..

Angry outbursts and emotional instability is about the most unattractive traits a man could have.

It's 2019. That's usually an attraction

Works like magic?

[glademaster]

Again, you miserable prolapsed hemorrhoid of a human being

This is the first thing you've said around here that I agree with.

And more importantly, as usual, Yetiman shows that he is an astute observer and analyzer of the human condition.

[buttahflake]

Again, you miserable prolapsed hemorrhoid of a human being

Spot on

[tbssux]

It's 2019. That's usually an attraction

Again, you miserable prolapsed hemorrhoid of a human being

I mean, the Harry Potter sticker on a Jaguar is kinda funny. Seems like a bit of an overreaction on your part. Maybe try "PNW Brit, the Harry Potter joke is getting old".

[JensGardener]

Screaming and threatening posturing last night and again this morning. Trying to stay more than an arms length away. Call me wimpy but the older I get the more I find various bruises and scratches etc. to be uncomfortable.
Set up my own bed in a different room on a different level of the house and been sleeping there for a couple weeks now. Need to figure out how to make some significant progress and at this point it sounds like I will have figure out everything logistically and then act and see how she responds. Her only suggestion has been for me to just leave. (I assume she hasn't thought ahead to how the bills will get paid etc.) She's told me that the one think she appreciates about me is how I am always able to afford to pay for everything we need. Says she doesn't like anything else though-otherwise says I have zero redeeming qualities. Hopefully if I can convince her that I'm still providing enough $$$ for at least as long as she is looking ahead which tends to not be a super long time then maybe she'll go along with some plan to move into a better place.

[My Pet Powder Goat]

Document any abuse.

It may never be needed or important, but it may also save your ass

[oftpiste]

^^^This

[JensGardener]

Everyone seems to have this advice but who really does this? Hopefully our most volatile times are in the past tho. For the good of the thread what are the best practices in terms of how to document?

[Rideski]

http://www.bpdfamily.org/

[frorider]

Everyone seems to have this advice but who really does this? Hopefully our most volatile times are in the past tho. For the good of the thread what are the best practices in terms of how to document?

Google says: https://www.breakthecycle.org/blog/5...document-abuse

Email yourself pics and an objective diary entry of when/what happened.

[fastfred]

a friend of mine went to jail last night for domestic
of course I heard the hero part of the story from him this morning
but what do I belive? I actually don't give a fuck, I do want people to be healthy and happy
but I don't give a shit who beat on who and what happened, sure alcohol and drugs were involved, they always seem to bring out the best
when two people commit themselves to a toxic relationship for whatever need or want they have, why should anyone else care?
I was suppose to check in this afternoon because there was a 10am court appearance
but I had other things to occupy myself today

there are three sides to every story what he said, what she said, and what really happened

removing ones self from a bad situation in life, no matter what it is, always seems like a bitch
the need for money and co dependency are the life suckers out of an individual

[JensGardener]

took a couple of psychology classes in college. Wondered if BPD is the case since pretty early on in our relationship. Before we got married she used to pull the suicide threat card. Do not know how I was so intoxicated into thinking love and all the promises to do something would eventually heal all. Whatever you call it she's not happy and of course she's never followed through and seen a pro to get any sort of assessment or anything.

[Mustonen]

I never really documented like I was supposed to. I had a hard time imagining the situation where I would say “if you turn to page 9 in my journal, your honor, you’ll see where she said she would make sure my kids hated me!” Everyone would gasp. The judge would order her thrown in prison for the next 18 years. The cute court reporter would ask me if I’d like to get a drink sometime on my way out of the courtroom....

I documented some things, but doing so always, by necessity, took me to a dark place that I was trying really hard to get past or made me relive something extremely distasteful. I get how it could potentially be really helpful.

ETA: I will say that my favorite way to document was to email myself on my gmail account. It established time stamps, proved that I didn’t edit things after the fact, and kept me organized plus I can’t handwrite for shit. Put something consistent in the subject, make a rule to route it all to a folder or tag. Not sure how much more admissible or whatever that made it, but it felt right. If I had a recording (single party consent state, I recorded lots) or pictures or other evidence I’d just attach them to that.

[JensGardener]

a friend of mine went to jail last night for domestic
of course I heard the hero part of the story from him this morning
but what do I belive? I actually don't give a fuck, I do want people to be healthy and happy
but I don't give a shit who beat on who and what happened, sure alcohol and drugs were involved, they always seem to bring out the best
when two people commit themselves to a toxic relationship for whatever need or want they have, why should anyone else care?
I was suppose to check in this afternoon because there was a 10am court appearance
but I had other things to occupy myself today

there are three sides to every story what he said, what she said, and what really happened

removing ones self from a bad situation in life, no matter what it is, always seems like a bitch
the need for money and co dependency are the life suckers out of an individual

Yeah I pretty much agree which is partly why I'm anonymous on here and not bitching to all my real friends and family. Obviously it takes two to tango or tangle or whatever.
Been procrastinating hard on planning the divorce partly just to go skiing but there is always skiing somewhere if you are willing to work for it so I guess I need to just buckle down and take care of business.

[delco714]

TRG's unofficial Harry Potter Club.

No one asked you.

Back to the dramatic side bitches and broken heart stories

[oftpiste]

What he said, BUT..... it's very easy to become codependent in that realm. And it's really a no-win. No matter what you do, as long as you're there and engaged at any level, you're enabling her behavior and it'll be unlikely to subside. It's a horrible catch-22, with the only real option being disconnection and detachment to the utmost degree possible when you still have kids on the docket. You'll feel like an asshole for a while, but that's not what it is, and it may be the only way to your survival.

Getting any help? Not for the relationship but for yourself. Seriously....

[Marshall Tucker]

this thread always reminds me how wisely I chose.

[Dantheman]

this thread always reminds me how wisely I chose.

x2

[Rideski]

took a couple of psychology classes in college. Wondered if BPD is the case

Even if a person doesn't have full clinical BPD, bipolar, manic depression etc, Some of the coping strategies are helpful anyway. I have dated a couple people in my past who checked a few of those symptom boxes and the tools to negotiate remain the same. Those past experiences are why I'm pretty vocal when someone says the typical "all chicks are crazy"
NAh bruh, there's a sliding scale for that yo.


There's a lot of info on the main page which is why I posted it, but to make sure you saw, there's a forum there too. There's a lot of bullshit there just like here but also some good stuff.
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php

[muted]

No one asked you.

Back to the dramatic side bitches and broken heart stories

Ask me a question!

[GiBo]

this thread always reminds me how wisely I chose.

People change. Sometimes what was a "wise choice" at 25 turns into a bad choice at 35 or 40 or 45. I wouldn't be so quick to ascribe personal virtue to something that is really luck of the draw.

[Marshall Tucker]

I wouldn't be so quick to ascribe personal virtue to something that is really luck of the draw.

Character and integrity are not a function of age. But hey. if it makes you feel better about your decisions...

[Marshall Tucker]

Ask me a question!

So. Why is it a white house?

[GiBo]

Character and integrity are not a function of age. But hey. if it makes you feel better about your decisions...

Character and integrity have nothing to do with most divorces. But whatever makes you feel superior...

[Art Shirk]

Character and integrity are not a function of age. But hey. if it makes you feel better about your decisions...

Personal trauma, among many other things, can upend a person pretty completely.


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