Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

[skiJ]

Not nessicarily. People who are in unhealthy relationships usually have some things to work out.

High conflict homes, abusive homes or even homes where the adults don't demonstrate warm, healthy relationships are harmful to children even if the unhealthy partners are their married parents.

Focusing on making people emotionally healthy rather than stay married at all costs is healthier for kids.

The article discussed studies where they selected out stressor such as poverty, abuse, high conflict, etc and the children with divorced parents fared nearly equally well as those with parents still married.

I think you are thinking if your parents hadn't divorced you wouldn't have had an abusive step-dad but you arent seeing the negative aspects of what you would have had instead.

it's not a binary situation mb6-
your own statement ( highlighted ) contradicts your claim : the children of divorced parents fared nearly as well ...

riser- lived his situation, and he doesn't need me defending him - but you really need to try to stop projecting your claims to the Life experiences of others.


Thank you. skiJ

[mb6f50]

it's not a binary situation mb6-
your own statement ( highlighted ) contradicts your claim : the children of divorced parents fared nearly as well ...

riser- lived his situation, and he doesn't need me defending him - but you really need to try to stop projecting your claims to the Life experiences of others.


Thank you. skiJ

My comments were directed at muted reborns comment that the article was misguided.

Riser brought his situation forward as antidotal evidence of muted statement that the article was "misguided".

My argument is that its "misguided" to present a traditional, paternal nuclear family as always the best for children in all cases.

His situation may or may not have been better had his parents stayed married, however, if you are going to bring your situation into a discussion as evidence that's pretty much consent to have it questioned and discussed.

I would suggest reading the article.

[TahoeJ]

Focusing on making people emotionally healthy rather than stay married at all costs is healthier for kids.

This 100% and there are plenty of studies backing it up.

[XXX-er]

I forget what grade ( probably grade school ) but back in the day I asked junior how he was with the fact his parents were divorced and he said

" every kid in my class except for one or two have divorced parents so whats the big deal ? "

Consider kids get fucked up when the parents are fucked up but if you are OK your kids will be OK,

[riser4]

There's a lot of ground between a "traditional, paternal nuclear family" and avoiding divorce at all costs. You are being intentionally obtuse perhaps?

[Bunion 2020]

Riser brought his situation forward as antidotal evidence of muted statement that the article was "misguided".

WTF?

[riser4]

WTF?

Ya, wtf?

[BobMc]

Well, for all intensive purposes either could be right?

[Danno]

Well, for all intensive purposes either could be right?

defiantly.

[Cono Este]

I divorced when my kids were 3, and they are damn near perfect. Having grown up in a home where my parents fought like cats and dogs it was the right call.

My ex remarried when my twins were 10, and he moved in with his kids. My kids had some issues with that, counseling etc. and he was a pretty decent guy.

So it’s never perfect. Married, divorced etc. you have kids, and you’re sure to give them something to complain about.

But mine are doing a hell of a lot better than I did.



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[~mikey b]

been hanging out a bit with an old girlfriend from back in the day - that’s been fun - she’s going through a shit divorce herself so we’re taking it slow trying not to upset the kids or the ex or the friends

the day I had my ex wife, my ex girlfriend and my coworker pop up in Match is the day I deleted it

[fatnslow]

been hanging out a bit with an old girlfriend from back in the day - that’s been fun - she’s going through a shit divorce herself so we’re taking it slow trying not to upset the kids or the ex or the friends

the day I had my ex wife, my ex girlfriend and my coworker pop up in Match is the day I deleted it

That is sig worthy.

[~mikey b]

that shit happened

[liv2ski]

You know Mikey, I dated some really nice "young" women way back in the day and truth be told, I think of two of them often. If I hadn't been so young, maybe there could of been something there or not. Doesn't matter, as for Mrs L2S and I it is "until death do us part". I am leaning towards murder suicide at some point.

[~mikey b]

well we’ve been in touch for a few years and just started spending some time together and it’s been really great so far

[skifishbum]

thread needs sum cale

and jimmers

[Choss Jonger, Sr.]

Well so apparently my 1998 18’ aire cataraft and kit are worth $7,000 (i paid $3500 some years ago; my bipolar stbx thinks $7,000 is more reasonable for some reason). The other marital raft is a 9’….but she thinks it is a 105’ worth over 2x what I paid. Anyone want to buy an old raft or my POS moto that she also thinks is worth way more than it is? This is insane.

Also, I have her on video harassing and assaulting me despite my repeatedly de escalatory efforts….she called the cops that night and she got arrested LoL. Apparently since her harassment charge was dropped no one in the state of CO cares about the reason that I have not slept, nor will again sleep, in the marital home. WWMD? File a criminal complaint?

This stuff is pretty awful.


Reconnecting with the splendid person, and ahem, breasts, of my HS sweetheart though….definitely excellent. Esp since I aim to become a father before the divorce is through the courts.

[Supermoon]

Well so apparently my 1998 18’ aire cataraft and kit are worth $7,000 (i paid $3500 some years ago; my bipolar stbx thinks $7,000 is more reasonable for some reason). The other marital raft is a 9’….but she thinks it is a 105’ worth over 2x what I paid. Anyone want to buy an old raft or my POS moto that she also thinks is worth way more than it is? This is insane.

Also, I have her on video harassing and assaulting me despite my repeatedly de escalatory efforts….she called the cops that night and she got arrested LoL. Apparently since her harassment charge was dropped no one in the state of CO cares about the reason that I have not slept, nor will again sleep, in the marital home. WWMD? File a criminal complaint?

This stuff is pretty awful.


Reconnecting with the splendid person, and ahem, breasts, of my HS sweetheart though….definitely excellent. Esp since I aim to become a father before the divorce is through the courts.

My wife got bullied/tricked into giving a buy bid for this dude's boat, and it turns out that he was in the middle of a divorce and was trying to get a lowball offer to not have to pay his STBE as much as she was asking for. The guy's lawyer subpoenaed her to try and get her to testify to the amount, and she basically said that he wasn't going to like what she said on the stand, and that if they put her up there she would bring the NADA private sale value with her, and tell the judge she wasn't qualified to appraise boats. They ultimately decided that they didn't want to do that, so she lost out on a day at court, but that dude was a total scumbag/asshole.

There are appraisers out there who will give you actual values, or you can run some comps in your area to get at a real value, though it's might not be worth the cost for what you would save in the long run, even if your STBE is being unreasonable.

[TahoeJ]

No need for an independent appraisal if she says it's worth more than what was actually paid. Pretty ridiculous and easy to prove that and a mediator or judge will look unkindly at such nonsense.

[Mustonen]

Well so apparently my 1998 18’ aire cataraft and kit are worth $7,000 (i paid $3500 some years ago; my bipolar stbx thinks $7,000 is more reasonable for some reason). The other marital raft is a 9’….but she thinks it is a 105’ worth over 2x what I paid. Anyone want to buy an old raft or my POS moto that she also thinks is worth way more than it is? This is insane.

Also, I have her on video harassing and assaulting me despite my repeatedly de escalatory efforts….she called the cops that night and she got arrested LoL. Apparently since her harassment charge was dropped no one in the state of CO cares about the reason that I have not slept, nor will again sleep, in the marital home. WWMD? File a criminal complaint?

This stuff is pretty awful.


Reconnecting with the splendid person, and ahem, breasts, of my HS sweetheart though….definitely excellent. Esp since I aim to become a father before the divorce is through the courts.

It’s just money and this was covered upthread. If she thinks it’s worth $7k give it to her. Her tune will change when the inflated assets are on her balance sheet instead of yours. This shit is literally highest bidder. There are so many boats in the sea….

It sounds like she’s hurt and scared and lashing out. That really sucks and it isn’t ok, but don’t forget to tune into some compassion even as you protect yourself.

[skiJ]

CJ -
If you don't want the (POS) moto ( or a/the rafts), could you assign them to her at the inflated values claimed(,) and take the value in something that actually has value (?)

I would not take anything that was not of value to me for an inflated value - that just gives her greater actual value.


I am sorry you are going through this...


peace. skiJ

[Harry]

Well so apparently my 1998 18’ aire cataraft and kit are worth $7,000 (i paid $3500 some years ago; my bipolar stbx thinks $7,000 is more reasonable for some reason). The other marital raft is a 9’….but she thinks it is a 105’ worth over 2x what I paid. Anyone want to buy an old raft or my POS moto that she also thinks is worth way more than it is? This is insane.

Let her keep those old boats. At those valuations.

After the divorce is final buy yourself a new boat, start living.


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[skiballs]

^is the stbx preggers or the new/old chick?

[TahoeJ]

If she thinks it’s worth $7k give it to her. Her tune will change when the inflated assets are on her balance sheet instead of yours.

Ha! This is the answer for sure.

[XXX-er]

it sounds like you are arguing over a few thousand $ which is chicken feed

any divorce lawyer would tell you to quit fucking around and make the deal