Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

[Mustonen]

I enjoy how we ascribe relationship success to “a wise choice.” It’s a nice pat on the back for a moment that becomes vanishingly minor against the full weight of maintaining lifelong relationships.

[riser4]

So. Why is it a white house?

Dunno. All I got is this.

[MakersTeleMark]

I enjoy how we ascribe relationship success to “a wise choice.” It’s a nice pat on the back for a moment that becomes vanishingly minor against the full weight of maintaining lifelong relationships.

I think if you look at the inverse, the vanishingly minor becomes increasingly major.

[oftpiste]

I applaud anyone who feels they made a wise choice and are happy. I don't see it as a self-back-pat. It's appreciation for being with a good person, and a good thing.

Most of all for those who made a good choice I hope for you that you always are able to say that.

[fastfred]

People change. Sometimes what was a "wise choice" at 25 turns into a bad choice at 35 or 40 or 45. I wouldn't be so quick to ascribe personal virtue to something that is really luck of the draw.

ah yeah exactly, the person I was in my early twenties when I met my future ex wife and who I am today, well they are two totally different people
people do change over time, if you don't that's cool

today I spent two hours with someone talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars, twenty plus years ago I was trying to score a bag of weed and wondering if I was going to get 100 days on the mountain or not

power to anyone who "chose wisely" that's great, I guess we're not all that lucky, at least now, I know to dump them after two or three weeks when I realize it ain't gonna work

the relationship can change, people change, and suddenly what you both had in common at one point, well you find out you have nothing that ties you together anymore, but maybe some kids and financial interests

[MakersTeleMark]

My point is that sometimes the wisest choice you can make is to realize it's over and GTFO.

[TWINS]

I applaud anyone who feels they made a wise choice and are happy. I don't see it as a self-back-pat. It's appreciation for being with a good person, and a good thing.

Most of all for those who made a good choice I hope for you that you always are able to say that.

Everyone thinks they are making a "wise choice" at the time.
People change,that is a fact.
My wife is changing as I type this.
Marriage is a never ending maintenance job for me.

[Flyoverland Captive]

“A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.”

- Muhammad Ali

People change; if they don’t, Jebus; avoid them.

The hope is that you and your partner change in similar, or at least compatible, ways, and can adjust to the changes to stay on the same path. Some can, some can’t.

[Dantheman]

The hope is that you and your partner change in similar, or at least compatible, ways, and can adjust to the changes to stay on the same path. Some can, some can’t.

Yep. I consider myself not so much wise as lucky as fuck. Though, no matter what sex you are, if you are considering marrying someone and they don't tick the "Not fucking crazy" box you might want to think long and hard about that decision.

[XXX-er]

nobody goes into it thinking marriage has a finite time line

but as opposed to ending up in a domestic disturbance

there comes a time to either fish or cut bait

and move on

[mtngirl79]

Everyone is crazy. The key is finding someone with a particular brand of craziness you can live with.

[delco714]

I applaud anyone who feels they made a wise choice and are happy. I don't see it as a self-back-pat. It's appreciation for being with a good person, and a good thing.

Most of all for those who made a good choice I hope for you that you always are able to say that.

Amen

[powdrhound]

All I know is that after 30 years I still like being with her. I feel better when she is near. She makes my life better and I’m good with that.

[Mountain Junkie]

My now ex-wife developed bipolar I after the birth of our daughter. So let's not be so quick to qualify one's decisions as better than others. Shit happens, and to think you can make "good" decisions based on future events is naive.

[riser4]

Besides, it's not like you can cast a spell on your spouse & make them change.

Zing.

[riser4]

Everyone is crazy. The key is finding someone with a particular brand of craziness you can live with.

Word.

[Mustonen]

Yep. I consider myself not so much wise as lucky as fuck. Though, no matter what sex you are, if you are considering marrying someone and they don't tick the "Not fucking crazy" box you might want to think long and hard about that decision.

This I can get behind. I understand the expression of “wise choice” but I think it’s a fallacy to believe that luck doesn’t play a massive role in selecting the right partner that you can sustain a long term loving relationship with, and what isn’t luck is hard work. And the tiny half a percent that’s left over you might halfway seriously attribute to the application of whatever wisdom is available to your horny twenty-something or thirty-something brain.

That’s all.

[riser4]

Definitely an element of luck.

[oftpiste]

Boyz, it's good and lucky and wise and wonderful until it's not, which is never for some folks. I'm happy for them and sincerely hope it stays that way. I believe that's always better than going through the mess of splitting up, but sometimes there's just no "getting through" those issues.

There are so many variables it is impossible to paint any of it with a broad brush.

[liv2ski]

the relationship can change, people change, and suddenly what you both had in common at one point, well you find out you have nothing that ties you together anymore, but maybe some kids and financial interests

It takes a lot of working at the relationship, self sacrifice and just letting shit go to have a lasting relationship IMO. I love being the mom and dad that hung in there for my kids, but some days I am just over it and ready to bale. I am sure she feels the same way, but we keep trying to have fun together and hang in there. It ain't easy, but we do have our great moments after 39 years together.

[skaredshtles]

<snip> I love being the mom and dad that hung in there for my kids, but some days I am just over it and ready to bale.

So you're thinking about taking up farming?

[MakersTeleMark]

Definitely an element of luck.

There is a reason 40-50% of marriages end in divorce, which is even higher for subsequent marriages.

[Timberridge]

So you're thinking about taking up farming?

The world needs farmers. Although this is sobering...

https://www.agweek.com/opinion/colum...s-most-couples

[MakersTeleMark]

Well, at least they have their own dating site.

[Danno]

The world needs farmers. Although this is sobering...

https://www.agweek.com/opinion/colum...s-most-couples

they need ditch diggers too.