Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

**delco714** · 10-27-2017, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by Cono Este

If it makes you feel better to know, I got kicked out of my mediation. Waited outside while my life was carved up. My ex showed up in business attire? She had no job. I was very cool in cutting her a check for 33% of my premarital assets, mostly for the kids to have a good home, and she wouldn’t include a relatively tiny 401k of hers in the figures. I couldn’t help but be a smart ass.

Tell her to get a lawyer, most of these guys don’t want a fight, and they will do your work for you.

When we closed on my mansion 3 months later her Dad was at the closing. I asked the realtor “Are we selling tickets to this?” Took my half and bought a new k1200 gt that day. Screamed to myself under my helmet at 100 mph.

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My ex's mom went to divorce court with her.. Yeah..

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**anonalias** · 11-05-2017, 04:48 PM

So, what’s the etiquette when you’re sharing the home, and your soon-to-be ex makes dinner on a Sunday evening (after selling baked chicken to the kids over your plan of making spaghetti, and using stuff that you bought at the store earlier that day), but doesn’t invite you to join in?

Do you sit at the table and chat with the kids? Help yourself? Retire to your basement room?

**MakersTeleMark** · 11-05-2017, 05:10 PM

Sit down and eat. It's your fucking table. What, is she going to tell you you can't eat?

Grow a sack.

**anonalias** · 11-05-2017, 05:22 PM

Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

Sit down and eat. It's your fucking table. What, is she going to tell you you can't eat?

Grow a sack.

Jesus, I'm bad at this alias thing.....

That's fair, and that's more or less what I've been doing the few times it's come up. That's what I did tonight....got a dirty look. The message is pretty clear, and a couple nights ago she divided up ALL of the food between her plate and the kids' plates. I made myself my own dish and sat down.....

I'm trying not to poke the bear. There's no profit in it. Just trying to find the least weird way to spend time with the kids at things like dinner time during this super awkward in-between period.

Also, I'm very careful to include her any time I'm making a meal (I'm usually breakfast, she's usually dinner, we split lunches...though she's been pretty aggressive in taking over most of the kids' meals). Or if I'm bringing food home I make sure to take her order. Because it would seem super fucking rude not to....

**anonalias** · 11-05-2017, 06:05 PM

Originally Posted by flowing alpy

she is losing and doesn’t even know it yet.
Eat Drink & Be Merry if it’s all about the kids!

That’s what is driving me fucking batty. There’s no win, but she’s trying like hell to get that trophy.

**Danno** · 11-05-2017, 07:32 PM

avoid the urge to "get even" or "do the same thing she did" or take the bait. Getting through this time as unscathed as possible is your goal.

**fastfred** · 11-05-2017, 07:58 PM

Get out. You have to end it. Sorry no polite way To say it. It's for your own health and sanity find a studio apt soon. Best Of Luck Man And Hang in There.

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**AK47bp** · 11-05-2017, 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by fastfred

Get out. You have to end it. Sorry no polite way To say it. It's for your own health and sanity find a studio apt soon. Best Of Luck Man And Hang in There.

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**MakersTeleMark** · 11-05-2017, 08:46 PM

Originally Posted by Danno

Getting through this time as fed as possible is your goal.

FIFY.

**oftpiste** · 11-05-2017, 09:50 PM

Originally Posted by Danno

avoid the urge to "get even" or "do the same thing she did" or take the bait. Getting through this time as unscathed as possible is your goal.

Two things:
1. Your greatest power is in remaining calm.

2. Living well is the best revenge (or lack thereof).

**Thurgood Jenkins** · 11-06-2017, 08:28 PM

My friend was getting an expensive divorce. I asked him:

How the fuck did you not see this coming? Are you nuts? Why did you walk down the isle? You never saw this characteristic in her? What were you thinking? She was a bitch from the start! You're a numbskull!

If you're in that deep, you probably deserve it. Come on. I bet you can read your accountant like a book, but you missed this one? How?

We're not friends anymore. But I spoke my mind.

**east or bust** · 11-06-2017, 08:51 PM

Originally Posted by powderdaybeatsworkday

My friend was getting an expensive divorce. I asked him:

How the fuck did you not see this coming? Are you nuts? Why did you walk down the isle? You never saw this characteristic in her? What were you thinking? She was a bitch from the start! You're a numbskull!

If you're in that deep, you probably deserve it. Come on. I bet you can read your accountant like a book, but you missed this one? How?

We're not friends anymore. But I spoke my mind.

sounds like you've never been there or done that

**Thurgood Jenkins** · 11-06-2017, 08:55 PM

being an expert in this thread is not something to brag about.

**MakersTeleMark** · 11-07-2017, 12:31 AM

Originally Posted by powderdaybeatsworkday

being an expert in this thread is not something to brag about.

Whose glorious alias must this be?

**anonalias** · 11-07-2017, 07:35 AM

Life is messy.... sure I saw this coming. You live, and maybe you learn.....

Helping myself to dinner is tweaking her in a special way, I fear. It’s hilarious, but ultimately ugly. Last night and this morning were special shitshows that I’ll cherish for a long time, but she’s going to totally lose it if it continues much longer - and I don’t actually want that. I’m not doing it to tweak her, either.... I just want to eat the food I bought and spend time with my kids.

As far as staying in the house.... lawyer says stay in the house, so in the house I stay. It sucks.... but I can do anything for a few weeks/months. Plus.... if I leave there’s no way I get regular time with my kids. Unless I leave with them, and I can’t picture that.

She filed a motion to kick me out, so we get to go to that hearing in a month. There isn’t any cause as far as anybody can tell, but I expect ugly. She hasn’t been passing my mail on to me, so that’s pretty friendly. I found out about the hearings we have scheduled in December from my lawyer. I set up a PO Box and forwarding to avoid any future misunderstandings.

**Danno** · 11-07-2017, 08:04 AM

Good luck, mang, stay strong.

**My Pet Powder Goat** · 11-07-2017, 09:49 AM

What a nightmare...
Have you communicated to her the same things you tell us? That you just want to eat the food you buy and spend time with the kids, that it's important to keep it civil for the kids?

I'm sure you know but make sure to document all these incidents, and try not to play the retribution game.

**oftpiste** · 11-08-2017, 12:15 PM

anon, hang in there. so sad for you and everyone else dealing with crazy.

**anonalias** · 11-17-2017, 05:18 PM

She said she’d spend as much money as she has to to get full custody. She’s pitching it as an epic battle for all of motherhood. Fuck....

Also, fun story: I’m sitting at work, minding my own business, and my phone buzzes with an amazon purchase notification. It’s a book: “Will I ever be free of you?: how to navigate a high conflict divorce with a narcissist and heal your family.” I changed the password and canceled the order. When she asked about it I told her I didn’t need to see that kind of thing. It’s hurtful and rude. Buy that shit with her own account and her own money.... anyhow, she bought it somehow else and left it on the coffee table in the living room. NEAT! My kids all get to learn what a narcissist is... or at least that their mom has diagnosed their dad as one.

Anyhow... somehow I keep hitting new lows. I hope to be in my own place by Christmas.... this fucking sucks.

**Mazderati** · 11-17-2017, 05:23 PM

If you're going through hell, keep going.

**MakersTeleMark** · 11-17-2017, 05:51 PM

Going through it is way better than being stuck in it.

Keep on truckin' and really focus on not giving a fuck what she does. It seems like you obsess about all her behavior and really let it get to you.

Fuck that, and do what you want. You can't control her, just your own emotions.

**John_B** · 11-17-2017, 09:13 PM

No advice, but good luck man.

**AK47bp** · 11-17-2017, 09:30 PM

Maybe if you weren't such a fucking narcissist you wouldn't be in this mess.

I kid, sucks man.

**TWINS** · 11-17-2017, 10:03 PM

Throwing this out there to you as it worked for me.
Someone recommended reading "The Power of Now" to me. It clicked with me and saved my ass.
I learned to look at myself from outside of myself when thrown in turmoil.
Once you manage this you are in control of your mental and physical actions.
Then the ex loses all control over making you feel like shit.
It's pretty easy to master and brings inner peace until she stabs you while you are sleeping.... <joke

Wishing you peace tonight.

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