Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

[Garbowski]

How do you guys plan to handle visa shit?

I used to do border runs every 90 days and just reup the tourist visa. Made a day of it with some beers and shopping. This was SE Asia a long time ago, but may be possible in Yurup, especially if you are near the mountains in Italy.

edit: looks like Italy is 90 days in a 180 day period so it won't work...

[liv2ski]

From Google: Those who plan to retire in Italy have the possibility of doing that under specific conditions imposed by the government, among which applying for an elective residence visa. It is also useful to know that the conditions for those interested in retiring in Italy are relatively easy compared to other countries. As a matter of fact, Italy is among the top 10 best countries in the world to retire to.

[oftpiste]

Hesperia, California.

Your welcome.

say more pleeze....

[oftpiste]

That's damn near the perfect house right there.

Oft - go spend some time down at my buddy’s place and see what you think of the area. I was surprised.

https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/4770760...yOkifPKpfDBYpV

[oftpiste]

Congrats CJ. Glad the clouds are parting for you. It happens!

Well boys, I am anticipating a nice slow ride through the next twelve months given that she is ducking the server….but on the whole my life is immensely better today than it was while I was trapped there with her, waiting, waiting, waiting for “some day when things are better.”

The fact is that today is that better day, no longer returning home to a building and a relationship that is negative. I have lost like 25 lbs without effort, I do what I want without belittling for following my outdoors whims, no more meatshaming or shit talk when I fry some eggs.

Vietnam syndrome is real and if you suspect you’re living it, take decisive action to change that pattern. I did. My life is better for it.

If any of y’all that aren’t bouging about where to live need a listener, don’t hesitate to reach out. The help I got from here and from others has been immensely beneficial and while I might need to unburden myself on you all some day again, I am here for anyone needing a listener.

It is better on the other side, I promise.

[TahoeJ]

Oft - go spend some time down at my buddy’s place and see what you think of the area. I was surprised.

https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/4770760...yOkifPKpfDBYpV

Wow beautiful. That seems like a great party house.

[TheSilverSurfer]

I'm feeling a lot of guilt around going for a lawyer. Ex has been really reasonable, suggesting I just pay what I can and that we keep things off the books. Even offering a few extra hours with the kids.

But, I'm sticking with the plan. Lawyer should have everything ready by Friday for me to review before filing.

Ex is going to lose her mind when she finds out I filed. Will surely say all the things she knows to say to make me feel like a piece of shit.

[Bunion 2020]

Stay the course.

[liv2ski]

Ex is going to lose her mind when she finds out I filed. Will surely say all the things she knows to say to make me feel like a piece of shit.

Wait, you mean you're surprised at the wraith about to hit your fan?
Fuck it, just go with it and do what works for you and the kids

[mb6f50]

I'm feeling a lot of guilt around going for a lawyer. Ex has been really reasonable, suggesting I just pay what I can and that we keep things off the books. Even offering a few extra hours with the kids.

But, I'm sticking with the plan. Lawyer should have everything ready by Friday for me to review before filing.

Ex is going to lose her mind when she finds out I filed. Will surely say all the things she knows to say to make me feel like a piece of shit.

Don't fucking talk to her. Filter through lawyer. Or friend or relative or something.

She wants to be "off books" because she wants control.

[TahoeJ]

I'm feeling a lot of guilt around going for a lawyer. Ex has been really reasonable, suggesting I just pay what I can and that we keep things off the books. Even offering a few extra hours with the kids.

But, I'm sticking with the plan. Lawyer should have everything ready by Friday for me to review before filing.

Ex is going to lose her mind when she finds out I filed. Will surely say all the things she knows to say to make me feel like a piece of shit.

Yeah, no way. You need a proper MSA to fall back on. Slippery slope situation where the goal posts can get moved repeatedly. Hell, even with that well defined MSA my ex keeps trying to nibble away at the edges and get more out of those "shared" expenses.

[Falcon3]

I'm feeling a lot of guilt around going for a lawyer. Ex has been really reasonable, suggesting I just pay what I can and that we keep things off the books. Even offering a few extra hours with the kids.

But, I'm sticking with the plan. Lawyer should have everything ready by Friday for me to review before filing.

Ex is going to lose her mind when she finds out I filed. Will surely say all the things she knows to say to make me feel like a piece of shit.

This is totally normal. Again, speaking from a place where I’ve had to legally enforce child support orders, if one party wants to do things “off the books” that means one or both of you are going to get screwed in the end (it would probably be you in this situation).

What usually happens is there’s a court order saying “pay $1000/mo”. The receiving party says “don’t worry about paying $1000, just pay $200 plus help with something else and we’ll call it good”.

Then some point in time later, you all go back before the judge because receiver asked for all the actual money that was in the order and the judge goes “I told you to pay $1000/mo, you have a legal order telling you to pay $1000/mo, why would you ever think you shouldn’t pay that? Verbal agreements don’t overrule a court order!”

And then you get slapped with a $20k arrears judgment and don’t get credit for the things you actually paid for.

[Harry]

She wants to be "off books" because she wants control.

^^^ THIS ^^^


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[mb6f50]

say more pleeze....

All the little towns around there, apple valley, Victorville, etc have pretty cheap trailer park homes or cheap shitty lots. Kinda gross but big bear lake is nice and close mountainy shit, or neat high desert shit, reasonably close to LA and beach stuff.

[neufox47]

This is totally normal. Again, speaking from a place where I’ve had to legally enforce child support orders, if one party wants to do things “off the books” that means one or both of you are going to get screwed in the end (it would probably be you in this situation).

What usually happens is there’s a court order saying “pay $1000/mo”. The receiving party says “don’t worry about paying $1000, just pay $200 plus help with something else and we’ll call it good”.

Then some point in time later, you all go back before the judge because receiver asked for all the actual money that was in the order and the judge goes “I told you to pay $1000/mo, you have a legal order telling you to pay $1000/mo, why would you ever think you shouldn’t pay that? Verbal agreements don’t overrule a court order!”

And then you get slapped with a $20k arrears judgment and don’t get credit for the things you actually paid for.

This SS. From what you’ve said, there’s a decent chance she’s being nice because she’s manipulating you into a trap.

[RootSkier]

I'm feeling a lot of guilt around going for a lawyer. Ex has been really reasonable, suggesting I just pay what I can and that we keep things off the books. Even offering a few extra hours with the kids.

But, I'm sticking with the plan. Lawyer should have everything ready by Friday for me to review before filing.

Ex is going to lose her mind when she finds out I filed. Will surely say all the things she knows to say to make me feel like a piece of shit.

I am not a family law lawyer but I am going to push back on what everyone is saying. If you are civil and everyone knows you are headed for divorce and you don't want to spend assloads of cash on lawyers, I would seriously look into some attorneys who are willing to discuss (with both sides) trying to work out a collaborative* settlement that does not involve litigation.

Litigation sucks. It is expensive, incredibly time consuming, and soul-crushing. And it always has an uncertain outcome. If there is any possible way to avoid it, you absolutely should try.

FWIW, I am a litigator and I tell people this every day. Do not do it unless there is absolutely no alternative.

P.S. "collaborative family law" is a real thing and there is a uniform set of laws adopted by most states that address it. It is totally different than litigation. Google "uniform collaborative law act [your state]" to see if exists wherever you are.

[~mikey b]

you sound like a the kind of attorney (litigator) my dad was

he always said to avoid litigation

he was fucking good at it though

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Wait, you mean you're surprised at the wraith about to hit your fan?
Fuck it, just go with it and do what works for you and the kids

Let’s keep Charlie Sheen out of this


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[MagnificentUnicorn]

I am not a family law lawyer but I am going to push back on what everyone is saying. If you are civil and everyone knows you are headed for divorce and you don't want to spend assloads of cash on lawyers, I would seriously look into some attorneys who are willing to discuss (with both sides) trying to work out a collaborative* settlement that does not involve litigation.

Litigation sucks. It is expensive, incredibly time consuming, and soul-crushing. And it always has an uncertain outcome. If there is any possible way to avoid it, you absolutely should try.

FWIW, I am a litigator and I tell people this every day. Do not do it unless there is absolutely no alternative.

P.S. "collaborative family law" is a real thing and there is a uniform set of laws adopted by most states that address it. It is totally different than litigation. Google "uniform collaborative law act [your state]" to see if exists wherever you are.

Listen to this guy


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[mb6f50]

I am not a family law lawyer but I am going to push back on what everyone is saying. If you are civil and everyone knows you are headed for divorce and you don't want to spend assloads of cash on lawyers, I would seriously look into some attorneys who are willing to discuss (with both sides) trying to work out a collaborative* settlement that does not involve litigation.

Litigation sucks. It is expensive, incredibly time consuming, and soul-crushing. And it always has an uncertain outcome. If there is any possible way to avoid it, you absolutely should try.

FWIW, I am a litigator and I tell people this every day. Do not do it unless there is absolutely no alternative.

P.S. "collaborative family law" is a real thing and there is a uniform set of laws adopted by most states that address it. It is totally different than litigation. Google "uniform collaborative law act [your state]" to see if exists wherever you are.

Pretty sure ss already signed papers that kinda fuckef him on a do it your self front and is using a lawyer to try and modify so not to be as fucked.. or atleast fucked with a smaller dildo

[RootSkier]

he always said to avoid litigation

Any lawyer who doesn't do anything they can to avoid litigation is someone you should never hire to litigate.

[MakersTeleMark]

I am not a family law lawyer but I am going to push back on what everyone is saying. If you are civil and everyone knows you are headed for divorce and you don't want to spend assloads of cash on lawyers, I would seriously look into some attorneys who are willing to discuss (with both sides) trying to work out a collaborative* settlement that does not involve litigation.

Litigation sucks. It is expensive, incredibly time consuming, and soul-crushing. And it always has an uncertain outcome. If there is any possible way to avoid it, you absolutely should try.

FWIW, I am a litigator and I tell people this every day. Do not do it unless there is absolutely no alternative.

P.S. "collaborative family law" is a real thing and there is a uniform set of laws adopted by most states that address it. It is totally different than litigation. Google "uniform collaborative law act [your state]" to see if exists wherever you are.

That shit would get me disbarred.

[Art Shirk]

That's damn near the perfect house right there.

Every detail, and I mean everything, was purposeful. One of the best places to make a meal for instance.


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[TahoeJ]

I am not a family law lawyer but I am going to push back on what everyone is saying. If you are civil and everyone knows you are headed for divorce and you don't want to spend assloads of cash on lawyers, I would seriously look into some attorneys who are willing to discuss (with both sides) trying to work out a collaborative* settlement that does not involve litigation.

Litigation sucks. It is expensive, incredibly time consuming, and soul-crushing. And it always has an uncertain outcome. If there is any possible way to avoid it, you absolutely should try.

FWIW, I am a litigator and I tell people this every day. Do not do it unless there is absolutely no alternative.

P.S. "collaborative family law" is a real thing and there is a uniform set of laws adopted by most states that address it. It is totally different than litigation. Google "uniform collaborative law act [your state]" to see if exists wherever you are.

SilverSurfer already has a fucked up MSA (signed under emotional "duress") that needs to be revised. He absolutely needs to get a proper, legally-binding adjustment based on circumstances. Especially considering some of the shady shit he mentioned in the original MSA, like her getting 30k from the sale of the house and then splitting profits. That kind of shit should eliminate any sense of trust or good will. Just my two cents SS - good luck.

[muted reborn]

Every detail, and I mean everything, was purposeful. One of the best places to make a meal for instance.


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So there was careful consideration for allowing sink peeing there?