Results 4,976 to 5,000 of 6779
-
01-14-2022, 08:12 PM #4976
Late Xmas gift or good start to 2022 - either way congrats on the life upgrade!
-
01-14-2022, 09:42 PM #4977
I think it's a solid moving forward step that one doesn't even check to see if the judge signed the proposed order of dissolution.
I also find it funny that one would think that the ex would pay her attorney to let the ex know about it.Is it radix panax notoginseng? - splat
This is like hanging yourself but the rope breaks. - DTM
Dude Listen to mtm. He's a marriage counselor at burning man. - subtle plague
-
01-14-2022, 09:54 PM #4978Is it radix panax notoginseng? - splat
This is like hanging yourself but the rope breaks. - DTM
Dude Listen to mtm. He's a marriage counselor at burning man. - subtle plague
-
01-15-2022, 01:48 AM #4979Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2016
- Posts
- 1,820
Thanks all. It's quite a relief.
Yeah, her attorney was communicating with me directly the whole time as he knew I didn't have a lawyer so I expected that to continue until all was said and done. Whatevs though. Glad to be through it. Now 15 more years of support payments. LOL.
-
01-31-2022, 08:00 AM #4980
Wow. Guess it's my turn up to bat. I never thought I would see this day, but here we are.
Last night at 11:30pm my wife of 8 years told me that she didn't love me anymore and that she didn't see a future with us together. To say that I was shocked and caught off guard is a complete understatement. We spent the evening tearfully discussing the crossroads that we are at and both of us are committed to handling this process with as much grace, empathy, and kindness as we can muster.
She's planning on moving out this afternoon, but she also agreed to attend couple's counseling with me - if not to see if something is salvageable, then at least to work to make this as easy of a process as possible.
I haven't slept all night, nor have I told any of our friends. Somehow going to a bunch of internet friends feels safer. I might be a bit of an odd duck here - I'm younger than most of you and to be honest I don't even know who Tammy Wynette is or why she has a hotline. I guess I'm clearly in over my head here, and I could use some advice, camraderie, or even just some bullshit. I feel like I could use a good, old-fashioned skidog, telling me "Salt Lake has some decent divorce attorneys but they're nowhere near as good as the ones out in Jersey"
Thanks mags. Much love for all of you.
Sent from my Pixel 6 Pro using Tapatalk
-
01-31-2022, 08:06 AM #4981
i hope it all works out 4 u
and while i aint sure hows i can help
u know where im at"When the child was a child it waited patiently for the first snow and it still does"- Van "The Man" Morrison
"I find I have already had my reward, in the doing of the thing" - Buzz Holmstrom
"THIS IS WHAT WE DO"-AML -ski on in eternal peace
"I have posted in here but haven't read it carefully with my trusty PoliAsshat antenna on."-DipshitDanno
-
01-31-2022, 08:40 AM #4982I drink it up
- Join Date
- Oct 2002
- Location
- my own little world
- Posts
- 5,866
What a punch in the gut. I’m sorry.
Hard times ahead for you. One of the themes you’ll see in this thread and in other discussions about this kind of thing is that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. As dark and shitty as things are, tomorrow still comes, and the next day and the next day and it gets better over time. Sometimes it’s 2 steps backward for 3 steps forward, but you’ll find the other side of this and there will be good things there.
Something I never really understood until I went through all of this: there isn’t a right and a wrong to life, or some kind of overarching ideal or thing to accomplish. It just is. The days pass and they’re different and there are different chapters; some things are great for a while and then they aren’t anymore. And you’re just there to interact with that in the best and most positive way you know how.
Get ready for some personal growth.focus.
-
01-31-2022, 08:40 AM #4983
-
01-31-2022, 09:12 AM #4984
Yep, that's the hope. We won't move to separation and divorce until we see a couple's therapist together. She seems to have her heart set on leaving, and I won't (and can't) stand in her way, but I'm clearly interested in reconciliation. At least I think I am.
Thanks man. Long term, I know things are going to work out - I'll get through this. I'm resilient, tough, and have a great support network. Hold fast, all storms pass.
In the interim I'm trying as hard as I can to bulwark my emotional health and well-being. No alcohol, lots of exercise, stay focused at work.
I resonate strongly with your post; life is just a series of seasons, without inherent good or bad values associated with those various happenings. It just is. This is a time like any other; mindfulness starts with finding your breath. In and out.
Thanks buddy. That means a lot. I need to learn how to actually fish and get out with you, none of that tenkara bullshit.
-
01-31-2022, 09:19 AM #4985
I got three responses. Which were all stupid, except for the first one, hang in there buddy.
Last edited by riser3; 02-04-2022 at 09:00 AM.
-
01-31-2022, 09:53 AM #4986I drink it up
- Join Date
- Oct 2002
- Location
- my own little world
- Posts
- 5,866
Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice
Or don’t.
I think this was meant to be lighthearted and kind of a joke…but I can’t imagine what good this would do. Seems a dark and twisted and hateful road to go down. She’s moving out, which seems a pretty firm demand for privacy. If you don’t respect that why bother with a PI? If you respect that you won’t bother with a PI.focus.
-
01-31-2022, 09:56 AM #4987
-
01-31-2022, 10:03 AM #4988Registered User
- Join Date
- Apr 2004
- Location
- Southeast New York
- Posts
- 11,818
I dunno, if my wife just hit me with something like that out of the blue my first thought would be wondering about a boyfriend (or girlfriend).
-
01-31-2022, 10:07 AM #4989
Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice
tgapp: you are a genuinely good person. That won’t change no matter what. My mom still talks about my internet friend who sent her coffee.
Definitely go to counseling. I don’t know if it will keep your marriage together or not, but it will help you process your grief. I was an absolute basketcase after my divorce, borderline suicidal, and glad I did counseling even though she quit after the first session. I kept going and I am so glad I did. Years later I still use the lessons I learned from marriage counseling to keep my mental health tuned up.
I like mustonon’s allegory about seasons, I was going to say something about chapters of a book. Same idea. Life goes on, and life is a beautiful experience.
Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums"Zee damn fat skis are ruining zee piste !" -Oscar Schevlin
"Hike up your skirt and grow a dick you fucking crybaby" -what Bunion said to Harry at the top of The Headwaters
-
01-31-2022, 10:12 AM #4990
-
01-31-2022, 10:16 AM #4991I drink it up
- Join Date
- Oct 2002
- Location
- my own little world
- Posts
- 5,866
So? Why does it matter, really? I guess do whatever helps you find peace, and if she hadn’t actually tried to end things I’d maybe be right there with you, but in this situation I don’t think peace is what you find by pulling on that thread.
I actually went with chapters, so we’re on the same page there.focus.
-
01-31-2022, 10:48 AM #4992
-
01-31-2022, 10:49 AM #4993
Sorry man. Like others have said, it will only get better.
Agree that there's probably a backstory that you don't know about (there usually is) but no need to hire a PI. It is what it is. If she's truly serious about ending things amicably you should be able to use a mediator to save money and grief. The second she hires a divorce attorney, remember that 90% of them are toxic fucks, so if that happens be on your guard immediately.
Couples therapy can be helpful but... go into it with realistic expectations. Everyone that I know that tried to reconcile (myself included) ended up splitting eventually anyway.
Edit: just saw your post above now. Yep, always a backstory. And... hate to break it to you, but there was almost definitely infidelity. She's easing into the truth with baby steps.I ski 135 degree chutes switch to the road.
-
01-31-2022, 10:52 AM #4994Registered User
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Location
- Colorado
- Posts
- 797
My friend of 20 years just split with his wife /gf of 12 years who was great for him (other than the last 1.5 years which she was a... mean bitch.)
Within 1 week he went to Mexico with his new girlfriend and then moved in with her the week after.
I'm going on a $7500 trip with him today for a week to Texas. I paid for it 4 months ago but otherwise I would have cancelled.
He thinks his ex won't find out and his friends won't care. He's O for 2. Every one of his friends has told me they hate his new girlfriend and miss his ex. Most also seem to think the new GF is post trans as well not that there is anything wrong with that but I'm sure the ex will freak out.
If somebody was terrible to you, at least show some decency for 3 months.
Not her but what I'm told the new one looks like.
-
01-31-2022, 11:00 AM #4995
Tgapp so sorry to hear this my man! I am definitely keeping you in my thoughts. I went through something very similar, sadly I had 2 young daughters at the time. One thing I was told (and ignored at the time because I wanted to be the bigger person) is that once divorce proceedings begin, it is not about marriage or love, its a business transaction and you should teat it as such, protect yourself. If it was me doing it all over again I would have retained a lawyer and set myself up WAY better in the long run. Hang in there man and like many have said this is just a chapter and new chapter is about to begin.
Samuel L. Jackson as Jules Winnfield: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?
-
01-31-2022, 11:25 AM #4996
Thanks for the vibes and good advice. Yeah, if and when we get to the divorce point of this juncture, I'll start taking things seriously (but fairly) with regard to assets. Hoping to do mediation or binding arbitration if it comes to that (again, likely, but not certain), since we're not likely to squabble too much over assets.
If a mag has experience dividing assets in an amicable way I would love to get in touch with them.
Sent from my Pixel 6 Pro using Tapatalk
-
01-31-2022, 11:32 AM #4997
Vibes Tgapp. Don't really have any advice to give, just hope it works out the best way possible for ya.
-
01-31-2022, 12:07 PM #4998Registered User
- Join Date
- Apr 2004
- Location
- Southeast New York
- Posts
- 11,818
-
01-31-2022, 12:19 PM #4999
-
01-31-2022, 12:19 PM #5000Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2021
- Posts
- 249
As someone who accidentally found out about someone's infidelity years after it really even mattered, dont do this.
Nothing good will come of it.
You have no kids, right?
There's no multi million dollar business with questionable dealings with the mafia?
Nothing crazy?
She sounds like she's being reasonable. You be reasonable and go through the grief process of losing your marriage and rebuild and it will be alright in the end.
So sorry you have to join the ranks of this.
Bookmarks