Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

[throwitaway9876]

Don't rush into it, once the vacays start you're hooked, it's like a switch turns on once travelling starts. You've hardly been single.

Good call. I've been single for like 6 months now.

How long felt right to you? Or are there a certain milestone that you want to hit before you feel ready?

[My Pet Powder Goat]

Is that the rooomate?

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[~mikey b]

None of my recent prospects have worked out. That’s ok

[Skidog]

Is that the rooomate?

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If im following along yes.

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[Gcooker]

Good call. I've been single for like 6 months now.

How long felt right to you? Or are there a certain milestone that you want to hit before you feel ready?

Yeah like realizing living alone and having sex with random women is more fun.

[oftpiste]

It takes as long as it takes to get wherever it is you're trying to go. Take your time, show up, practice radical transparency, let go (spiritually) of anything you can manage to let go of. It's a work in progress and always will be.

Fully accepting and comprehending that is a good exercise in letting go.

[Mustonen]

My psychiatrist said 2 years. Not that I’m really holding out that long. To be fair, my marriage was emotionally and physically dead for years before we separated. Her point, though, was to allow enough time for me not to easily fall back into familiar ruts.

The emotional and financial and social wreckage of just uprooting everything was far more impactful than the relationship stuff; if anything, embarking on a relationship has helped me work through some basic self esteem type stuff that isn’t really addressed with casual relationships.

[~mikey b]

None of my recent prospects have worked out. That’s ok

I've got new prospects. The old ones encouraged me to apply for a job that they both work at. They let me down easy and have been very nice and friendly. Didn't expect that. So now I've got a yoga teacher and an attorney that I've recently met.

The divorce is going ok I guess.

[Gcooker]

Think we need a Throwitallaway update... curious how the new relationship is going!


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[skiJ]

Think we need a Throwitallaway update... curious how the new relationship is going!

... really Not what this thread was about --


Have tiaa Start his own Diary - sheeze.


skiJ

[~mikey b]

so the attorney asked me about my backcountry skiing habit - I couldn’t properly explain it to her so that she’d stop looking at me like I was some sorta lunatic

“So you just don’t tell anyone where you’re going and you go out in the mountains?”

Yes

“You spend two or three hours climbing stuff to ski it for a few minutes?”

Yes

“Why?”

I don’t know. I can’t explain it. It’s what I do.


“There’s something wrong with you”


Yes


Yes there is

[byates1]

[SB]

so the attorney asked me about my backcountry skiing habit - I couldn’t properly explain it to her so that she’d stop looking at me like I was some sorta lunatic

“So you just don’t tell anyone where you’re going and you go out in the mountains?”

Yes

“You spend two or three hours climbing stuff to ski it for a few minutes?”

Yes

“Why?”

I don’t know. I can’t explain it. It’s what I do.


“There’s something wrong with you”


Yes


Yes there is

Tell your attorney I said that is incredibly sad to not understand it is betterthansexifeellikeagod back country skiing.

[~mikey b]

She’s just not that type.

Cuter than hell. Smart as shit. Strong single mama.

She thinks I’m weird. But she sorta likes me.

I’ve given up on thinking I need to find a girl who is into all the same things as me. If she’s into totally different things I might learn something new.

It was ok to have someone straight up question me like that.


The look on her face was funny.

[~mikey b]

And she’s not my attorney but it might be fun to have her represent me in court

[oftpiste]

I've come to the conclusion that whether or not they're into the same things is pretty inconsequential. It's more about what kind of human they are. You can ski all day with someone who's borderline, but I ain't gonna be their BF. Gimme a cool human and they can go do what they do and I'll do what I do. The end of the day will be much more pleasant.

She’s just not that type.

Cuter than hell. Smart as shit. Strong single mama.

She thinks I’m weird. But she sorta likes me.

I’ve given up on thinking I need to find a girl who is into all the same things as me. If she’s into totally different things I might learn something new.

It was ok to have someone straight up question me like that.


The look on her face was funny.

[Rideski]

[MakersTeleMark]

I've come to the conclusion that whether or not they're into the same things is pretty inconsequential. It's more about what kind of human they are. You can ski all day with someone who's borderline, but I ain't gonna be their BF. Gimme a cool human and they can go do what they do and I'll do what I do. The end of the day will bu much more pleasant.

Dated a bpd who didn't ski for my last 9 years. Worst of both worlds. Although my try built me a better person, it wasn't worth it, and I couldn't be more happier now.

And Mike, you get disbarred if you fuck a client, so keep that out of the courtroom.

Pleasantly hanging with folks who just dig me, not my random skills. I like people as people again. It's so refreshing.

And tea. Quit coffee after 30 years, and am way more mellow, coupled with a slightly slower metabolism and a really nice pace in life that isn't completely neurotic. I walk slowly now. Smell and shoot (camera) the roses so they say.

[~mikey b]

I was joking MTM

[RootSkier]

And Mike, you get disbarred if you fuck a client, so keep that out of the courtroom.

Not if he fucks her before she represents him.

[Viva]

I say that there's a balance between personality and lifestyle. My best relationship was back in my PDX days. Our respective lifestyles and outlooks on life were totally and completely congruent. Our first three or four dates were bike rides. We'd visit dark 'n' dank night spots for the late-night free music. Fourteen hour drives to Jackson for weekend skiing. Doing all this, and more, together was a a large part of the excitement.

In that first month, she crewed me at a 50 miler. Surprised me by showing up at the penultimate aid station and pacing me in the last ten or so miles. She had no fucking clue how to pace. But, awwwwww....so sweet.

Great fucking times.

There were a couple of gals that I loved more, and a binch of others, but I was never happier than I was with that ex-ski racer.

Perhaps I'm too selfish- I'm willing to give, and give up, up to a point. But lifestyle is sacroscant to me.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.



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[The Tortoise]

I think having similar lifestyles is more important when you have (young) kids. That way activities like camping, skiing, etc are family events and you aren't leaving anyone behind.

[Mustonen]

I think having similar lifestyles is more important when you have (young) kids. That way activities like camping, skiing, etc are family events and you aren't leaving anyone behind.

Maybe.

This was a big issue with my ex. It wouldn’t have been too big a deal if she was ok with me doing something once or twice a week without her, but she wasn’t. Had to do everything together.

Of course, that wouldn’t have been as big a deal if she was basically a nice person and pleasant to spend time with.

Anyways, she has a big speech on how “we have different values” now anytime the subject comes up.

[throwitaway9876]

Think we need a Throwitallaway update... curious how the new relationship is going!

Things are good, but I've kinda put the brakes on pursuing a relationship for now. MBG (roommate) seems happy to continue to hang, have sex, and run, bike etc without a title at the moment.

If I'm honest with myself, I'm nowhere near over my ex. I still think about her all the time and as fucked up as it is to say it I still very much miss her. To me that means I'm not ready to be in a relationship, but what do I know?

MBG and I went camping together over the weekend. We went trail running and exploring a new area to both of us. It was fun and lighthearted- I got to teach her about route finding and planning with a topo map, we got to chill and catch up, etc. We had some great sex. At times it felt heavy though. I think that she is starting to come to terms with a recent breakup that she had and things the thought she could cruise passed are coming up.

I'm also not sure we are longterm compatible. I'm pretty driven and spend a lot of time putting in effort to set myself up in the future in many different areas- career stuff, training my dog, fitness, investing, etc. MBG is very much this way when it comes to fitness and as best I can tell was this way when it comes to education (she has an advanced degree from a very elite university), but she isn't as driven from a career standpoint and certain things that have bothered me recently, like the way her dog behaves, etc.

I think she has spent her life pouring herself into other people but not spending as much time climbing ladders and planning the future. She's now starting to reflect on that. We also both gave too much of ourselves in our previous relationships. There's certainly a lot to learn from each other in this regard.

We'll see how it goes going forward.

/blog

[Skidog]

Things are good, but I've kinda put the brakes on pursuing a relationship for now. MBG (roommate) seems happy to continue to hang, have sex, and run, bike etc without a title at the moment.

If I'm honest with myself, I'm nowhere near over my ex. I still think about her all the time and as fucked up as it is to say it I still very much miss her. To me that means I'm not ready to be in a relationship, but what do I know?

MBG and I went camping together over the weekend. We went trail running and exploring a new area to both of us. It was fun and lighthearted- I got to teach her about route finding and planning with a topo map, we got to chill and catch up, etc. We had some great sex. At times it felt heavy though. I think that she is starting to come to terms with a recent breakup that she had and things the thought she could cruise passed are coming up.

I'm also not sure we are longterm compatible. I'm pretty driven and spend a lot of time putting in effort to set myself up in the future in many different areas- career stuff, training my dog, fitness, investing, etc. MBG is very much this way when it comes to fitness and as best I can tell was this way when it comes to education (she has an advanced degree from a very elite university), but she isn't as driven from a career standpoint and certain things that have bothered me recently, like the way her dog behaves, etc.

I think she has spent her life pouring herself into other people but not spending as much time climbing ladders and planning the future. She's now starting to reflect on that. We also both gave too much of ourselves in our previous relationships. There's certainly a lot to learn from each other in this regard.

We'll see how it goes going forward.

/blog

To be honest it's refreshing to hear that you're actually thinking this all through pretty logically. Some guys would be only thinking with their cock.
I don't know that ages have been tossed, but career drive could just be expressing itself differently than you wish to see it. Difference in opinion if you will.
Sounds like you're having fun.

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