Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

[XXX-er]

well t'was a long time ago but as i remember, these are your kids that you might be fucking over trying to get even with that idiot who is your ex wife, so even if she is an idiot we are all stuck with her

and that includes yer kids, mine are now sucessful 35 yr old adults who aint stupid so i'm telling them its great she manged to snare husband #5 otherwise they might be having to slide her a little cash every month

instead she is just spending # 5's money

[TheSilverSurfer]

I was sooo tempted to pull the rug out because she wouldn’t shut the fuck up. Wouldn’t acknowledge that I was giving her way more than I had to, simply because she was the mother of my children. She hadn’t done anything else to earn it or win it.

But I didn’t, because she was the mother of my children. And I don’t regret it.

But it would have been so satisfying.

That's really how I feel, but I offered the most I could possibly pay and she refused it. It really is sad. I plan on still giving her as much as I can, but I expect the court ordered support will be quite a bit less. My main goal is not to screw her over. My main goal is to protect from being screwed over by her.

[Core Shot]

You can always pay more as needed.

But lawyer up and go hard. Minimize your legal obligations.
Then give extra as needed out of kindness. And love of your kids.

[Cono Este]

To those going through divorce with kids.

I divorced before my twins were 3. It couldn’t have been any uglier. I had been dumb enough to leave California to be closer to her family and that was the fatal mistake. Flash forward to the present, and my kids are graduating HS next week and are perfect. No drink, no drugs, going on to play college sports, and generally happy. If we’d stayed together they’d probably be a mess.

Now I just have to figure out what to do with my life. I just ended a 3 yr relationship with a great girl, but she was ruined by her fathers drinking and gambling as a child. She was angry, needy, distrustful, and refused to get help. That’s the third long term relationship I’ve had since divorce.

Not sure where I go from here, met with the realtor, should probably sell while I still can, but honestly a bit afraid to move on.


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[Bunion 2020]

my kids are graduating HS next week

That is quite an accomplishment in its own right, congrats.

GTFO and see the world again dude.

[liv2ski]

Not sure where I go from here, met with the realtor, should probably sell while I still can, but honestly a bit afraid to move on.

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Cono, you have always spoken about moving once the kids made it through High School so follow that dream. Now sounds like a good time for a change if the woman in your life is gone too. Prices out west are bongers and trying to get a long term rental is hard, but maybe you could swing a place in Reno so you can ski Tahoe and be a few hours from everything.

[Cono Este]

Cono, you have always spoken about moving once the kids made it through High School so follow that dream. Now sounds like a good time for a change if the woman in your life is gone too. Prices out west are bongers and trying to get a long term rental is hard, but maybe you could swing a place in Reno so you can ski Tahoe and be a few hours from everything.

I’m thinking slc, I can sell insurance there and have an old trading buddy moving out there and setting up shop. Ski everyday I want in the winter. Or Sacramento, it’s close to my hometown in SF, close to skiing, lots and lots of friends around.

Part if me would like to go spend a yr in Europe, but I’m too old to be financially irresponsible like that.


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[::: :::]

Why not a short burst back on wall st?
Then retire somewhere with snow

[TahoeJ]

I have to say with crazy real estate prices that Sac isn’t a bad option, relatively speaking. Still just an hour drive over the pass if you time it correctly and the city itself has become a pretty cool spot. Lots of high end chefs opening restaurants there instead of SF.

For Truckee / Tahoe perspective I bought my house in Truckee in 2016 for $550k. Zillow now has it listed at $1.3 million. Just crazy. Sac went up too but not on that level.

[Cono Este]

Why not a short burst back on wall st?
Then retire somewhere with snow

Not an option. Been out too long. Had an interview 2 yrs ago and they were like “great track record but what have u been doing for 10 yrs?” I said raising kids?

I will be renting for a yr wherever I go. Something about getting first tracks somewhere if even only for a season or two. Middle finger in the air. Insurance let’s me do that.


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[liv2ski]

Part if me would like to go spend a yr in Europe, but I’m too old to be financially irresponsible like that.

O fuck off dood. You work your whole life for others, so at some point you get to do something irresponsible for a few years. At least that is what I am telling my wife.

[Mustonen]

my wife.

Which is why you can’t but cono can.

Cono - Go fuck off in Europe for a year, for all of us.

[TahoeJ]

Which is why you can’t but cono can.

Cono - Go fuck off in Europe for a year, for all of us.

I agree, if my kids weren’t 13-10-8 I would absolutely do this and plan to do so in about 10 years when the youngest heads off to college. I say do it and let us live vicariously through you.

[abraham]

I’m thinking slc, I can sell insurance there and have an old trading buddy moving out there and setting up shop. Ski everyday I want in the winter. Or Sacramento, it’s close to my hometown in SF, close to skiing, lots and lots of friends around.

Part if me would like to go spend a yr in Europe, but I’m too old to be financially irresponsible like that.


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I was looking at the first page of an old thread a while ago and you had a post about wanting to spend a year in the mountains or something like that and ski your face off. It was old, like 05-09 probably. You should do it.

[byates1]

I’m thinking slc, I can sell insurance there and have an old trading buddy moving out there and setting up shop. Ski everyday I want in the winter. Or Sacramento, it’s close to my hometown in SF, close to skiing, lots and lots of friends around.

Part if me would like to go spend a yr in Europe, but I’m too old to be financially irresponsible like that.


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Sell everything that does not fit into small storage unit, buy a sweet van and do whatever you want. Travel, ski, have no bills, watch paint dry etc...

[MakersTeleMark]

He'll just double down and be an internet cunt and bitch about it.

[Harry]

but honestly a bit afraid to move on.

GTFO out of that situation. You did your job guiding your kids into adulthood, now the rest of your life belongs to you.

As we all know, Warren used to say…
”if you don’t do it this year, you will be one year older when you do.”

He also said
”when you come to a fork in the road, take it”
It sounds like you really are at that fork in the road, I suggest taking it.

[Harry]

He'll just double down and be an internet cunt and bitch about it.

That’s one of the forks in the road too.


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[Cono Este]

Thanks Harry

I think I deserve a full season or two somewhere.

Hopefully I’ll have less time to be a cunt.


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[frorider]

I remember those old posts of yours Cono. Hope you figure out a good option that fulfills that for ya. We only get one ride.

[liv2ski]

Which is why you can’t but cono can.

Yup, you may be correct as my oldest got married 6 weeks ago and told us last night there is a baby in the cooker. My wife is all, "but L2S, how can we go live in Yurp with grand kids"? I told her easy. Once the pups cross the rainbow bridge, I may be asking for attorney advice. FML.

[oftpiste]

I'm trynna figure this stuff out too. My Things are older than yours, but proximity to them is a factor. I love that they roll through the house at their leisure, see them often, stay close.

And I'm so done with living in the city. Been looking at Central Valley too. You can buy a pretty decent doublewide in a park there for +/- $100k, or a decent real house for +/- $250. And yes, I know Fresno/Merced et al is kind of a shithole, but is that a tradeoff I might be willing to make for reducing my living expenses by 60%? Southern Utah is cool, some cheap out of the way places there. Albuquerque?

Post divorce, all the money I have for retirement is under my ass in this house and right now life costs way more than I want it to having had to mortgage the house to settle the divorce and now have a 2.5x bigger payment than I ever had before. Even if I sell it's not gonna be a fat retirement fund, though I'm very fortunate to have what I have. And that includes my little boat which I'd love to keep in the water and basically use as my PNW summer cabin by cruising in the sound and north if I didn't have to earn like I do now to keep it all afloat.

The changes skiing has gone through in the last few years have diminished (I'm ashamed to say) the importance of proximity to a mountain which had previously been an important consideration. It is, sadly, less so now. Fuck I hate to write those words.

I hear I could live like a king for the rest of my life in someplace like Costa Rica on what I'll take out of the house eventually. Portugal has great incentives for 'murican retirees there. But so far away from my kids and the boat.

Can't quite figure out what direction to go. It's a conundrum for sure.

To those going through divorce with kids.

I divorced before my twins were 3. It couldn’t have been any uglier. I had been dumb enough to leave California to be closer to her family and that was the fatal mistake. Flash forward to the present, and my kids are graduating HS next week and are perfect. No drink, no drugs, going on to play college sports, and generally happy. If we’d stayed together they’d probably be a mess.

Now I just have to figure out what to do with my life. I just ended a 3 yr relationship with a great girl, but she was ruined by her fathers drinking and gambling as a child. She was angry, needy, distrustful, and refused to get help. That’s the third long term relationship I’ve had since divorce.

Not sure where I go from here, met with the realtor, should probably sell while I still can, but honestly a bit afraid to move on.


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[TahoeJ]

Jesus, don't go to the central valley. Plenty of other places that are just as cheap without living in a constant layer of smog.

[liv2ski]

Go to Portugal. All of CA is selling and moving there

[Cono Este]

It’s hard. I have a real nice 3 level town house I paid 300k for and have a 3% mortgage on. After my divorce I went from millionaire to damn near homeless so I don’t take that for granted. Moving is going to make it hard to maintain that lifestyle. No way I’m getting shit for 300k anywhere but maybe AZ where my mother is, but she ain’t living much longer.

But shit will never be great staying put. My ex gf dad told her I had some “wanderlust” in me. No shit, I’ve lived fucking great until I came here and dealt with all these boring ass people.

Im going to Tahoe next month for a week. That’s where I came from in 2005. I know it’s pricey, but the thought of a new town like slc is daunting. Part me says go back to what I know, renew my Homewood pass, hopefully there is still no one there on a pow day.

The company that does my insurance marketing has All NorCal open. So I can just drive all over with a bike or board in the back. Utah and Az have much smaller populations and would probably have to find something else eventually.




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