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  1. #2501
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    Quote Originally Posted by AK47bp View Post
    Maybe if you weren't such a fucking narcissist you wouldn't be in this mess.







    I kid, sucks man.
    What it's true though? We always look at this from the poster's perspective and have no idea of the real situation.

  2. #2502
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    Anon, I was just reading up there^^^ a ways that she's not giving you your mail? If that's still the case that's pretty fucked up, and if you miss something important it could be a real problem, you should go open a PO box and get your mail forwarded there, that should be pretty easy. That's all I got, good luck.

  3. #2503
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    Jun 2006
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    There are always two sides but right now we don't need to give anon doubts and say something like "It seems like you obsess " etc. How many of the last couple poster child have been through this situation? MTM, AW?

    Anon. Does she work and what is income disparity? Her lawyer told her to go for full custody and supervised visits, etc the whole painting you black so you will agree to a bad deal or stay in court to pay the lawyers.

    Stay out of it. Find a place to stay sane, love your kids, and immediately find a mediator to get a divorce/ separation of bank accounts. Get it legal and then let her spend whatever she wants on attack. She is pissed and we all get crazy in this situation. Men and women. Need to get legal separation asap, with 50-50, and then let her take you to court on custody. If you have DUO, etc, judge might be inclined to grant her. If nothing on record, she has no case. Separate and let her do what she needs to do.

    Sent from my SM-G935V using TGR Forums mobile app
    Education must be the answer, we've tried ignorance and it doesn't work!

  4. #2504
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    Sep 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by anonalias View Post
    She said she’d spend as much money as she has to to get full custody. She’s pitching it as an epic battle for all of motherhood. Fuck....

    Also, fun story: I’m sitting at work, minding my own business, and my phone buzzes with an amazon purchase notification. It’s a book: “Will I ever be free of you?: how to navigate a high conflict divorce with a narcissist and heal your family.” I changed the password and canceled the order. When she asked about it I told her I didn’t need to see that kind of thing. It’s hurtful and rude. Buy that shit with her own account and her own money.... anyhow, she bought it somehow else and left it on the coffee table in the living room. NEAT! My kids all get to learn what a narcissist is... or at least that their mom has diagnosed their dad as one.

    Anyhow... somehow I keep hitting new lows. I hope to be in my own place by Christmas.... this fucking sucks.
    ouch

  5. #2505
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    Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

    Anon- you’ve got some stamina. But watch out of the cheap shot. Assume all your emails are being read.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  6. #2506
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    Dec 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rip'nStick View Post
    Stay out of it. Find a place to stay sane, love your kids, and immediately find a mediator to get a divorce/ separation of bank accounts. Get it legal and then let her spend whatever she wants on attack. She is pissed and we all get crazy in this situation. Men and women. Need to get legal separation asap, with 50-50, and then let her take you to court on custody. If you have DUO, etc, judge might be inclined to grant her. If nothing on record, she has no case. Separate and let her do what she needs to do.
    This.

    A good friend got divorced this year. His lawyer was awesome; hers was a piece of shit, constantly finding little things to do to pad her bill. My friend’s lawyer would match the wife’s bills dollar-for-dollar, but put the money in trust. So on paper they spent the same on lawyers, but after it was all finalized, my friend’s lawyer gave all the money in trust back to my friend. Not sure how legal it was, but pretty cool.

  7. #2507
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    Quote Originally Posted by AaronWright View Post
    What it's true though? We always look at this from the poster's perspective and have no idea of the real situation.
    Right. That’s the mindfuck. Am I a narcissist? Am I a completely shit person?

  8. #2508
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    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    Anon, I was just reading up there^^^ a ways that she's not giving you your mail? If that's still the case that's pretty fucked up, and if you miss something important it could be a real problem, you should go open a PO box and get your mail forwarded there, that should be pretty easy. That's all I got, good luck.
    Thanks. I did that as soon as I realized I wasn’t getting mail. Important things, like questionnaires from the court so they can decide custody or notification of court dates, were not being delivered.

  9. #2509
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    Aug 2017
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    Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

    For all the well wishes, advice, and support - thank you.

    Got out on the skis this weekend.... feels a lot better.

  10. #2510
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    Quote Originally Posted by AaronWright View Post
    What it's true though? We always look at this from the poster's perspective and have no idea of the real situation.
    Oh the guy's probably a total prick.

    That's TGR though, assholes supporting pricks, like one big gay orgy.

  11. #2511
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    Quote Originally Posted by anonalias View Post
    Right. That’s the mindfuck. Am I a narcissist? Am I a completely shit person?
    I wasn't trying to be down on you but we have no idea what's going on besides what you tell us.

    We have this anesthesiologist at work and one night a propros of nothing he starts telling us about how his wife asked him to take this empathy quiz online and how she thinks he has narcissistic personality disorder. He was totally baffled. We just stared at him thinking 'No shit Sherlock'

  12. #2512
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    Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

    Why does everyone have to fucking judge others?

    There is no right or wrong here, divorce is failure. No one knows that more than Anon right now, so a simple “that sucks” will suffice.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  13. #2513
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    Mar 2006
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    Skiing can be a very selfish interest. It takes a lot of time commitment. That might be considered narcissism.

  14. #2514
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cono Este View Post
    Why does everyone have to fucking judge others?

    There is no right or wrong here, divorce is failure. No one knows that more than Anon right now, so a simple “that sucks” will suffice.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    Divorce shouldn't be looked at as failure. Life long monogamy isn't natural. Sometimes people just grow apart and want different things from life. The angst that comes with divorce is a cultural thing.

  15. #2515
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    Quote Originally Posted by AaronWright View Post
    I wasn't trying to be down on you but we have no idea what's going on besides what you tell us.

    We have this anesthesiologist at work and one night a propros of nothing he starts telling us about how his wife asked him to take this empathy quiz online and how she thinks he has narcissistic personality disorder. He was totally baffled. We just stared at him thinking 'No shit Sherlock'
    good thing you were there

  16. #2516
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    Quote Originally Posted by DBdude View Post
    good thing you were there
    The point is that these people are clueless about their npd, that's the nature or their disease.

  17. #2517
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    Quote Originally Posted by AaronWright View Post
    Divorce shouldn't be looked at as failure. Life long monogamy isn't natural. Sometimes people just grow apart and want different things from life. The angst that comes with divorce is a cultural thing.
    Uh, tell that to the kids.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  18. #2518
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    Quote Originally Posted by AaronWright View Post
    Divorce shouldn't be looked at as failure. Life long monogamy isn't natural. Sometimes people just grow apart and want different things from life. The angst that comes with divorce is a cultural thing.
    while some of that may be true
    we didn't invite a couple hundred of our closest friends and fam to share our ceremony and vows to each other that didn't have meaning.
    and for me not being a man of my words would fall under the failure category
    "When the child was a child it waited patiently for the first snow and it still does"- Van "The Man" Morrison
    "I find I have already had my reward, in the doing of the thing" - Buzz Holmstrom
    "THIS IS WHAT WE DO"-AML -ski on in eternal peace
    "I have posted in here but haven't read it carefully with my trusty PoliAsshat antenna on."-DipshitDanno

  19. #2519
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    Quote Originally Posted by AaronWright View Post
    Sometimes people just grow apart and want different things from life. The angst that comes with divorce is a cultural thing.
    Ummm, not really much.

    As I travel this fucked up path and talk to others I find myself coming to the conclusion that "sometimes people grow apart" is a minority of divorces. If that's how it went for you, congrats and I'm happy for ya. More often than not someone has completely gone off the rails behaviorally which inflicts extraordinary pain on the other party.

    Anon's situation ain't "sometimes people just grow apart". Nor are most of them.

    Yes, there are two sides to every story. If you heard the other side of mine you would wonder WTF I'm doing. But you wouldn't hear the truth except from me and when I told you the truth you wouldn't be able to imagine in a million years that person doing that stuff.

    Anecdotally, this appears to be the case a lot of the time, and it sucks for those on the wrong end. Especially when no one can believe that person is doing that stuff and you're just trying to stay upright behind it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  20. #2520
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    Quote Originally Posted by anonalias View Post
    Right. That’s the mindfuck. Am I a narcissist? Am I a completely shit person?
    you probably don't know who the fuck you are right now, that's just part of the deal, don't sweat it, go through the motions, you now have to figure out who you and it sucks alittle more since your probably not in your twenties anymore. Go with the flow, take your time, it sucks balls for sure, in a year or two your new life will be figured out as long as you keep your head up, smile and be postive

    keep posting if it makes you feel good and gets shit off your shoulders, don't be afraid to goto consoling or some divorce group therapy shit, it will all help

  21. #2521
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    Quote Originally Posted by anonalias View Post
    Thanks. I did that as soon as I realized I wasn’t getting mail. Important things, like questionnaires from the court so they can decide custody or notification of court dates, were not being delivered.
    I think that withholding mail is a federal offense. I hope you reported to the court that that was occurring.

  22. #2522
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    Quote Originally Posted by anonalias View Post
    Right. That’s the mindfuck. Am I a narcissist? Am I a completely shit person?
    If your think you're a sack of shit, you're most certainly not one. It's the ones who think they're God's Gift. They smell like hot Indian food and dogshit, without fail.

    Sent from my XP7700 using TGR Forums mobile app

  23. #2523
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    Dec 2015
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    588
    I'd simply require that the mail be delivered with a required signature, so there is a paper trail of who's receiving it. Technically there is no proof of delivery without that anyways, you can always claim you never got it, and it's up to them to prove it was properly delivered. Without a sig they cannot.

  24. #2524
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    Quote Originally Posted by AaronWright View Post
    Divorce shouldn't be looked at as failure. Life long monogamy isn't natural. Sometimes people just grow apart and want different things from life. The angst that comes with divorce is a cultural thing.
    . ... spoken like a guy who has a great understanding of a relationship .

    tool. ( I Am pretty sure I just got troll - ed )

    good luck with your harem...

  25. #2525
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    Apr 2005
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    im still having a bit of a hard time imagining getting divorced and telling people your marriage is still a success
    fault nonwitstanding
    "When the child was a child it waited patiently for the first snow and it still does"- Van "The Man" Morrison
    "I find I have already had my reward, in the doing of the thing" - Buzz Holmstrom
    "THIS IS WHAT WE DO"-AML -ski on in eternal peace
    "I have posted in here but haven't read it carefully with my trusty PoliAsshat antenna on."-DipshitDanno

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