Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

[4matic]

Love, affection, and rejection affect the same parts of the brain as narcotics. It's normal to feel physical pain and suffering even when it was a bad relationship. Treat relationship withdrawal like an addiction. It's not easy. Drugs are much easier for me to quit.

[flatlander#2]

God so many red flags. She's really really cute, fun and awesome, but goddamn a truck load of crazy baggage. I can't tell you the number of times I helped out with stuff. And the dude she's dating doesn't clear $20/hr at 40yrs old. Literally some of the most fun either of us has ever had. Her therapist told her there is too much to just walk away from.

She's doing a marathon in December, Boston qualifier which she's done over ten times, close to three hours. I said so you're traveling to CA the first week of December, probably dropping a grand? Last year I covered her with cash and presents for her kids xmas. And literally going from her husband to me to new dude. She went out on a date with him same week as our last time hooking up, her bday. I said holy shit, that's gross. Oh we aren't sleeping together. Like that matters. One of her friends said you know, you were probably the only stable professional male she has ever had in her life. And those little kids only chance for a real stable life. Poor little buggers. I was fairly spooked by the prospect of her getting full time custody and I'm full time step dad, along with my own nearly gone teenagers. Me watching the kids while she runs for three hours a few times a week. I've always worked hard for everything I have, earned it all. Sticks with me that literally her entire life, her house, everything in it, kids clothes, car, everything is given to her to maintain her lifestyle.

I've never had an addiction before. Guess that explains something. One day at a time man.

[hikesalot]

if she had all that going with you and is dating another guy, let alone a loser guy, that should tell you what you need to know.

[flatlander#2]

Clarity is a motherfucker FYI.

[AK47bp]

Pussy's one hell of a drug.

[flatlander#2]

Running on instinct, that's pretty amazing really. I owe you two beers for that.

I've ridden about 100 miles of mtn bike a week since first of July and annihilated a fair bit of anti-anxiety reefer. Yay Colorado.

I told her to take her crazy single Mom self centered indecisive freak show shit elsewhere to someone else. I said have the other dude take care of you. Oh I don't need anybody to take care of me. Ok, you're living in a two bedroom basement apartment that my bedroom, closet and bathroom are nearly bigger than. Not to be vain, but she has no understanding on how she is going to go from struggling to pay $600 for that place to one so her kids all have a bedroom, which in a while they'll want. Shit ain't cheap and nobody likes giving it up that easily.

[Rip'nStick]

read once, and I think I may have mentioned this somewhere in this thread, that the person who initiates the break-up made the decision, had already moved on, a minimum of 6 months before blindsiding their partner with the news.

That is what happened in one of my relationships. Guy kept being a jerk and didn't see me retreating. By the time I'd reached my limit and informed him it was over I was more than done with him. I wasn't mad. I didn't yell. I was just matter of fact because I'd already dealt with all the stages of breaking up with him on my own so it wasn't emotional for me. I was over it but he was just starting. Problem for the person who is just learning about it is that they want to negotiate but for the other person the ship sailed a long time ago.

I mentioned something of this nature earlier in this thread.

Men and women are totally different in this regard. For a man, there is always a possibility of working things out as long as it comes back to tolerable or the mate hasn't done something to really break his heart. Women have a permanent off switch. Once the switch is in off, there is no return to love, and they do not see there former mate in the same way.

[4matic]

Women have a permanent off switch. Once the switch is in off, there is no return to love, and they do not see there former mate in the same way.

Qft. Been there. Still there . Lol.

[mcski]

Sounds like she depends on the "kindness of strangers". Run and don't look back!

[RootSkier]

Be sure to send the video of it to your wife, or you'll accomplish nothing.

10/10 would read again.

[flatlander#2]

Yeah to a degree I agree with that, but a good friend of mine dated a girl for about 18 months, she was divorced with three kids, but she is a Pediatric PA. He had never been married, hell had barely even dated a girl longer than a year. She was pressuring him to move to the burbs and be baby daddy. He finally said fuck off in a really not nice way, dated a super hottie for 5-6 months, broke it off, was solo for 2-3 months, calls her up and says hey let's have a beer. She tells him dude I'm selling my house and moving in with a guy in three weeks. He said no, have beer with me. He moved in the next week, I married them three weeks later, still together after three years.

The one I was dating said maybe our story is like that. Yeah, I'm good.

[BCJC]

"A woman is like a monkey, she won't let go of one branch until she has a firm grip on another"

[Kopi_Red]

Pussy's one hell of a drug.

[Gcooker]

I mentioned something of this nature earlier in this thread.

Men and women are totally different in this regard. For a man, there is always a possibility of working things out as long as it comes back to tolerable or the mate hasn't done something to really break his heart. Women have a permanent off switch. Once the switch is in off, there is no return to love, and they do not see there former mate in the same way.

That pretty well describes my situation perfectly. It sucks. Time, therapy, getting in great shape and getting some strange should do the trick.

[Meadow Skipper]

flatlander#2, I'm having a really hard time figuring out why you're tolerating that woman. Maybe tell us about the sex and post some pics, that might help me understand.

[flatlander#2]

Yeah. I know the rules. In time. Fun update, my ex wife and her were having a discussion at a thing tonight. Love small towns. That would have been a fun pic.


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[Meadow Skipper]

Fun update, my ex wife and her were having a discussion at a thing tonight. Love small towns. That would have been a fun pic.

Lots of potential there.

Wait...angry sex threesome?

[flatlander#2]

Ima need some vitamins for that situation. Two attractive distance runners old enough to know what works. Yeah not sure about that.


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[east or bust]

I mentioned something of this nature earlier in this thread.

Men and women are totally different in this regard. For a man, there is always a possibility of working things out as long as it comes back to tolerable or the mate hasn't done something to really break his heart. Women have a permanent off switch. Once the switch is in off, there is no return to love, and they do not see there former mate in the same way.

I'm going through a breakup that is nothing compared to some of the shit in this thread but this has been my experience to a T. In early July I noticed the girl I was dating was acting very strange. Thought it was something I did but she was adamant that we were fine. Things didn't improve and 2 weeks ago I finally asked her straight up wtf was going on and where we were at and was told she was done with me. Said she just wasn't over her ex who from her account treated her like a complete POS during their breakup and has been absent from any of our conversations for a year. I tried to reason with her and got stone walled. Still don't understand how someone can eliminate a over a year of really good times from their memory in the blink of an eye. She's been going home a lot lately so don't know if she found someone else, doesn't seem like that kind of girl but I guess you never know.

[shroom]

this shit is getting good


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[RShea]

Man I'm having a tough time moving on. Dated a girl for 18months. She is divorced about 18 months, yeah overlap. We had an amazing passionate super sexual connected relationship having both come out of relationships where those were both lacking. When I look pragmatically at her, 40, kids 4 and 5, doesn't make enough to support herself, lives in a crappy condo a friend bought for her, her life gets by with people helping her out. Running is her life. Travels to races 3-4 times a year. I foot the bill to about $12k this last year in help with race entries, car repairs, xmas presents for her kids, just help. Deadbeat ex, she would like to get custody full time. She comes from an even crazier train wreck background where her Mom lost custody of her about age 12. She pushed me and pushed me to move in together, in June she pulled back, we were last together mid July, but she wanted to maintain a "committed friendship" even as she started dating a really truthfully 40 year old loser. Hard to move on and away. She keeps reaching out wanting to be friends. Oh, best part, she is a therapist for a $50k/year career. Ugh.

If there is too much drama and the toxic part of the relationship is higher than the benefits, sounds like it is time to move on and cut the relationship off. If being friends means she still would be pressuring for financial help while you know she is with a "40 year old loser" then maybe time to cut the ties completely. An escort or hooker maybe cheaper

[flatlander#2]

40 year old loser-never had a job that wasn't can I get this in 10.5?

I was kinda having an escort, never kiss on the mouth.


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[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

Something to be said for this.

Are You Spouses or Just Roommates?

I don't have much good advice to add but this reminds me of an explanation I heard once by some relationship counselor on a radio show, "for women sex is a result of emotional intimacy, for men sex is a gateway to emotional intimacy. Neither is better or worse, right or wrong. But therein lies the source of most marital conflict when it comes to intimacy, physical or emotional."


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[Kevo]

Jesus Flatlander, $12k would cover more than a week's worth of heli skiing. This chick never should have been more than a casual hookup, and only if you are snipped. You definitely don't want to risk that train wreck getting pregnant, or the somewhat likely scenario of some loser getting her pregnant without you knowing and her telling you it is yours. Protect yourself. Women like that are professional resource acquirers. She used you.

You paid $12k for something she's giving away for free to a deadbeat. Think about that.

Next time, no expensive dates, no supporting some other guy's kids at Christmas. No dating single moms. Casual hookups only.


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[liv2ski]

^^^^^Any single guy that has read these type of threads and that isn't snipped is just asking for it. Freeze a sample and "get er done". Nothing would be better than looking her in the eye when she announces she is preggers with your child to "O, really, I have been snipped for years you ho bag".