Page 2 of 183 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ... LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 4558
  1. #26
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,068
    Vibes.....P-Dawg is also in this Shit Storm right now......Cant offer any advice as its day to day here too.

  2. #27
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    410
    Quote Originally Posted by b dubya View Post
    Tricks are for hookers

  3. #28
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    1,924
    Quote Originally Posted by Parvo View Post
    As I'm sure your kids love their mother very much, you need to make her death look like an accident.
    Quoted for top post of the day. I lol'd a lil' bit

    Sad to say, I've been through the storm as well. Fortunately no children, mostly grad school debt. Not a ton of assets to divide, and made it out relatively unscathed. I'm back to living with a woman who wants to get married, and I'm still far from being mentally capable of going through that shit again. Good luck dude. Definitely tough times.

  4. #29
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Dreamland
    Posts
    896
    Speaking of splitting debt in a divorce, keep in mind that creditors don't care. If it is a joint debt and your wife agrees to take responsibility for it in the divorce and does not pay, the creditor comes after you. The divorce decree means nothing to them. If she gets the house and the mortgage, make sure your name is removed from the promissory note.
    Gravity Junkie

    How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?

  5. #30
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Talkeetna
    Posts
    1,933
    Get the best attorney you can afford. Don't skimp. It ends up costing you in the long run.
    Did the last unsatisfied fat soccer mom you took to your mom's basement call you a fascist? -irul&ublo
    Don't Taze me bro.

  6. #31
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    11,858
    ^^^^Which means she needs to refinance. I hope she qualifies on her income alone or it isn't happening. Any joint debt needs to be closed and individually taken responsibility for or eventually your credit gets fucked up by the dead beat ex.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  7. #32
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Big in Japan
    Posts
    36,375
    Which is why I say, give her the house, free and clear.

    Let's do some livin'
    After, we die

  8. #33
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    tashigang
    Posts
    1,573
    Quote Originally Posted by Parvo View Post
    As I'm sure your kids love their mother very much, you need to make her death look like an accident.
    How do you do that and explain the offshore bank account too?

    Hayduke Aug 7,1996 GS-Aug 26 2010
    HunterS March 17 09-Oct 24 14

  9. #34
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Big Sky/Moonlight Basin
    Posts
    9,589
    OP: where in Montana are you ? I know a very good divorce attorney in Missoula if you are over there.

    My lawyer friends say the best outcome (for the attorneys) is a female attorney for the guy and a male attorney for the woman. Your female attorney and your ex will be catty and be totally mean bitches the way females can be toward other females. Meanwhile you will see her male attorney roll up in a banger Porsche 911 sporting a massive gold Rolex with your ex riding in the passenger seat of the Porsche and your blood pressure will go through the roof.
    Total win-win for the two attorneys, both sides go insane and huge legal fees paid by both sides.
    "Zee damn fat skis are ruining zee piste !" -Oscar Schevlin

    "Hike up your skirt and grow a dick you fucking crybaby" -what Bunion said to Harry at the top of The Headwaters

  10. #35
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    5,657
    1. find the female attorney in your town that all the divorced women (you can find them getting in and out of their porsches at the starbucks) swear by, and do not let your wife hire her.

    2. if you have kids, spoil the shit out of them privately, but do not out of guilt ir anything else agree to one penny more than the law says you have to supply in support. My wife takes what i refer to as my divorce guilt money and spends it on herself, and I still put the kids through camp, had to pay for their sports equipment (skis and other inexpensive stuff like $200 lacrosse sticks, club teams, cell phones, etc....). I would have WAY more cash if i had not agreed to spend about 3.5 times what i should have. Dumb dumb move.

    3. Benny is right, giver assets of value but nothing that supplies revenue regularly. I gave her the house and kept my business.

    4. Get her to waive alimony. ex-wives make shitty employees. pay for this if you need to.

    edit: get her to agree to pay for half of college. my ex pays 1/3 of a state education which is about 8k a year. our kids schools cost 46 and 53 respectively. good times.


    edit. edit: counseling huh? i was a punching bag in there. much much happier now. good luck. dont postpone the inevitable if you can make your life better, it's short, you get one.

  11. #36
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Hugh's Mom's House
    Posts
    11,831
    If you are in Missoula, PM me. Best family law attorney around is just down the hall. She's a woman, FWIW.

  12. #37
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Agrestic
    Posts
    4,820

    Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

    No alias needed anymore. She was/is having an affair and wouldn't have told me except that I overheard a phone conversation of hers with her mother. She was also having an emotional affair with a mutual friend for the last 3 years. Everyday is better than the last and although I'm glad to be rid of her it was a rough couple of months. The divorce should be final as of last week as long as her lawyer sends in the paperwork.

    Also, if any other mags are going through the same thing and need someone to talk to shoot me a PM. It's a rough thing to go through but it's amazing what time can heal and many people go through the same thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by flowing alpy View Post
    Maybe try for another child?
    The thing is she was trying to get pregnant while she maintains that she hated me. After talking to some other people doing this is more common that you'd think.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mudfoot View Post
    The rebound effect is definitely real. You are in the worst possible place to be making smart decisions about women right now.
    It's funny I talk to my counselor about the fact that I would date someone I dislike just because. All the while I'm totally aware that I don't like them and why I'm doing it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Grape_Ape View Post
    If your partner is going to counseling with you, then she must have some hope that things will work out. Same on your end.

    Good luck.
    Nope. She wanted to go to couples counseling so we could effectively coparent. I now go on my own. I can work on my own issues without her and it's abundantly clear that she isn't willing to accept any responsibility or work on her issues. She continues her relationship with her affair and he's in the middle of a divorce too. Sounds like the beginnings of a healthy relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by Parvo View Post
    As I'm sure your kids love their mother very much, you need to make her death look like an accident.
    Thanks for the levity during a difficult time. I laughed about this often since she turned into a delusional narcissist.
    Last edited by concretejungle; 12-29-2015 at 02:35 PM.

  13. #38
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    46,985
    Good luck mang, never had any idea it was you but sounds like you landed in a decent place.

  14. #39
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    nh
    Posts
    8,248
    Wow that was fast. Do some states make you wait in a separation situation before making it final?
    People should learn endurance; they should learn to endure the discomforts of heat and cold, hunger and thirst; they should learn to be patient when receiving abuse and scorn; for it is the practice of endurance that quenches the fire of worldly passions which is burning up their bodies.
    --Buddha

    *))
    ((*
    *))
    ((*


    www.skiclinics.com

  15. #40
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,068
    CJ - Glad to heat things are (sort of) better.....vibes man.


    P-dawg who started down this path back in Sep too - has a court date of Feb 1, - 90 day cooling off period here. We will be pushing off for 45-60 days - as she still need to get me off the deed and re-fi etc...we both have been doing counseling, together, me, her the kids......uuggh its been a rough rough fall.

    Neither one seem ready to be teh one to say I give up - not sure - I think neither one wants to be the one who actually turns the missle key....so we keep slogging on. But much better (relatively) than the first 2-3 months I was out of the house - 2-3 hours angry calls a day - every day...such fond memories.....

    -P

    Edit - for those using TGR as a research tool - We are going through a mediator (although since there was so much anger - Mediator almost walked away and ended up politely "suggested" if we didnt seek counseling she was done representing us - again good times. Wife and I had framed out much of what we wanted, so using the mediator mainly as an interface with the court process. We agreed to not go after each other retirement money too.

  16. #41
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    11,858
    Vibes to youz guyz. As your life moves on, just try and be there for the kids. After my parents divorced I rarely saw / heard from my dad. Don't be that guy. At 56, I still have confusing emotions regarding my dad. It is hard to get the little boy in you to be quiet.

    Also, I have never met a marriage that survived counseling, but I know of many that flourished with the Retrouvaille program. The choice is yours.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  17. #42
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,068
    Thx L2Ski....as I head off to google "Retrouvaille"

    No - I am not that dad - My little guy (age 8) is my best buddy in the world. Sorry to hear about your relationship - that sucks man - myself and my dad have been estranged for 25+ years so I understand..

  18. #43
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    2 hours from anything
    Posts
    7,977
    1. Push hard for using a mediator, arbitration, anything to avoid going to court.

    1a - Remove your emotions from the process. Meditate, do yoga, whatever you need to. Unless there are kids, this is a business transaction. Treat it as such.

    2. Do not have sex with anyone she / he knows.

    3. Do not let them find out you are happy, especially if it's in a new relationship.

    4. Try to be nice, swallow that hate. Say you are sorry, love them, whatever, even if you mean the opposite.

  19. #44
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    14,843
    Hang in thar guys, it gets better eventually.
    watch out for snakes

  20. #45
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    MA
    Posts
    5,998
    My parents are going through it now actually. Theyre 60, I'm an adult. Hitting my mom much different than my dad- I don't think she wants it. Hes totally closed off so I really only get one side of the story. My mom absolutely hates his lawyer with the fire of 1000 suns too, I think she told the lawyer off in court and the judge got pissed.
    Decisions Decisions

  21. #46
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    The Mayonnaisium
    Posts
    6,948
    Man. That's a long time to be married to end up in divorce.

  22. #47
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    7,530
    Hey, really sorry to hear that CJ. As much as we get on each others nerves, I wouldn't wish this shit on anyone. Best of luck to you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hugh Conway View Post
    Hugh Conway sucks
    Quote Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper View Post
    I guess stfu might be right about steel toed boots
    Quote Originally Posted by pedoherp69 View Post
    I know actual transpeople.
    Quote Originally Posted by rokjoxx View Post
    We is got a good military, maybe cause some kids get to shooting sports early here.

  23. #48
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    11,858
    Quote Originally Posted by stfu&gbtw View Post
    Hey, really sorry to hear that CJ. I wouldn't wish this shit on anyone. Best of luck to you.
    Yep, sorry to hear that. Being married takes a ton of work to please each other and letting shit go to maintain a relationship. Most people have no idea how to get back on track once the communication gets fucked up. That is why Retrouvaille is such a great program. It gives you the tools to overcome most any relationship failure, if you want it to work and maybe even if you think you are over it.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  24. #49
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Mt Baldys shoes
    Posts
    2,854
    Might be too late now but why always rush for the divorce? Sometimes space away from your spouse lets you re energize your feelings. It worked for my wife and I. After Retrovaile and multiple counselors we took a break. Did not talk for 6 months and things just naturally readjusted themselves. Ran into her at our local ski hill be accident and spent the day skiing together.Just like the good old days Got back together and cancelled the stretched out divorce proceedings. Anyways, just putting this out there in case anyone else might be thinking about different ways of handling this issue.

  25. #50
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    1,086
    Quote Originally Posted by TWINS View Post
    Might be too late now but why always rush for the divorce? Sometimes space away from your spouse lets you re energize your feelings. It worked for my wife and I. After Retrovaile and multiple counselors we took a break. Did not talk for 6 months and things just naturally readjusted themselves. Ran into her at our local ski hill be accident and spent the day skiing together.Just like the good old days Got back together and cancelled the stretched out divorce proceedings. Anyways, just putting this out there in case anyone else might be thinking about different ways of handling this issue.
    not being a dick, but did you have kids when you didn't talk for months?

    I have been in a shitty marriage for a number of years. It sucks. It has fucked with me big time.

    I have a 3 1/2 year old boy who I love a lot.

    The fucked up is thing is I am supposed to be on a cruise with my wife, my son & her family & I am home alone. It fucking blows.

    A lot of factors that I don't want to get into right now, but typing this makes me feel better.

    I hope everybody finds happiness in their marriage.

    Also, what do you think of your wife that ALWAYS causes trouble with your family, but never hers? What does that say about a person?

    I am not perfect, but I can be respectful to my in-laws without loving them.

    Yes, we did the marriage counseling and in typical fashion she lied and didn't admit to anything. I guess her dad was right when he told me on the phone that his daughter is a liar and manipulative.

    What does it say about a father-in-law and his relationship with his daughter that out of nowhere says to you months before his grandson is born, "If you and Amanda get divorced, I don't ever want her back in my house" ?

    I will say it again, I am not perfect, but I can admit my faults. I know I come hard with comments when my wife pushes my buttons, which seems like every single day. I am definitely highly stressed with my career and it comes through in my personality.

    I don't know how I am going to ever forgive my wife for telling me last minute that I can't come on this cruise. Yes, as in 3 hours before leaving for the cruise. I don't think I am going to forget or forgive. A person can only be pushed so far.

    I am also fucked as my finances aren't good. I can't afford help paying for this apartment and get my own. I am not willing to move to the mountains as much as I want to as I want to be close to my son.

    A friend told me to try meditation.

    I don't drink so leave out the get smashed, but I think I am going to a strip club tonight. A lap dance or 10 can help me clear my mind.

    Never knew marriage could be so difficult.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •