Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

**TahoeJ** · 08-07-2021, 12:22 PM

Originally Posted by Art Shirk

Man I know divorce turns people into something they never expected, but I couldn’t imagine ever wanting to keep my spouse, ex or otherwise, from her kids unless I thought she was a danger to them. Using children as a chess piece is deplorable.

Very frequently this BS is the result of a POS lawyer and a client without enough of a backbone to say no that isn’t right / ethical.

And the courts need to stop handing those things out like candy on Halloween.

**stalefish3169** · 08-07-2021, 02:48 PM

Helping my buddy move his shit out today. He has 8 scheduled hours to move out while the woman and kids are out of the house. Nothing is packed, no plan, and he is trying to reasonably take what is his. Fuck this is depressing.

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**MakersTeleMark** · 08-07-2021, 03:10 PM

Take her sex toys.

**El Chupacabra** · 08-07-2021, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

Take her sex toys.

Sprinkle ghost pepper sauce on those toys and leave them right where they are.

**oftpiste** · 08-07-2021, 05:28 PM

Originally Posted by Art Shirk

Man I know divorce turns people into something they never expected, but I couldn’t imagine ever wanting to keep my spouse, ex or otherwise, from her kids unless I thought she was a danger to them. Using children as a chess piece is deplorable.

......and not at all uncommon. Accusations I couldn't fathom were thrown at me and thankfully didn't gain any traction. The standard form that gets served (in WA at least) has a restraining order line-item which could lead a casual observer (or angry human) think it's a normal part of the process.

**oftpiste** · 08-07-2021, 05:32 PM

Originally Posted by Danno

The recommendation is to get a good lawyer who does only family law (do NOT get a general practitioner) and follow his/her advice.

This in spades. Now. Yesterday.

**TahoeJ** · 08-07-2021, 10:43 PM

Originally Posted by oftpiste

......and not at all uncommon. Accusations I couldn't fathom were thrown at me and thankfully didn't gain any traction. The standard form that gets served (in WA at least) has a restraining order line-item which could lead a casual observer (or angry human) think it's a normal part of the process.

Same. The good thing in the long run (for me at least) is that all of the wives in our social circle knew she was full of shit and have basically shut her out since then, even long after this was all over. I still get invited everywhere we used to and she’s fully excluded. Nice to see some consequences for someone behaving in such a manner.

Moral of the story is to try to keep your cool. It can be so difficult.

**stalefish3169** · 08-08-2021, 09:43 PM

Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

Take her sex toys.

I didn't get to witness any of that. But watching my buddy dig up some of the perennials to take with him was pretty entertaining.

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**smartyiak** · 08-09-2021, 04:18 AM

Originally Posted by stalefish3169

I didn't get to witness any of that. But watching my buddy dig up some of the perennials to take with him was pretty entertaining.

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Not to disparage your friend, but…huh?

What’s wrong with that guy? Reading back a few posts up to this taking flowers with him (unless they have a grow lab)…You need to give him a smack upside the head and a bottle of bourbon!

(I say this as a recent divorcee who’s ex-wife fucked her best friend’s spouse…blamed me for it…then called the cops and made up a story about how I pushed her (causing injury) to have me arrested (I wasn’t…bc I didn’t do anything))

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**Mustonen** · 08-09-2021, 05:11 AM

^^^ I’d have to agree. There’s enough shit to argue about, and he’d be well advised to save his fights for the things that matter. If he’s lawyered up (like he should be) he’s literally paying for prolonging and embittering the battle.

I decided fairly early on that my ex wasn’t worth fighting with. She doesn’t rank that high on my list and everything is strictly transactional. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t try to bring the fight to me (even still), but the few things I regret during the time leading up to and after my divorce were literally all the handful of times where I said what I thought or provoked a fight over some silly material thing rather than restrict it to what needed to be said or done. At a basic level, she isn’t an honest person, and I’m not going to fix her narcissistic-leaning BPD or score meaningful points in any game I actually care about.

Props to you for being there for your friend. When I went through this a few years ago I don’t know how I would have gotten through it without the support of a few close friends. Still makes me all misty.

**stalefish3169** · 08-09-2021, 07:31 AM

Originally Posted by smartyiak

Not to disparage your friend, but…huh?

What’s wrong with that guy? Reading back a few posts up to this taking flowers with him (unless they have a grow lab)…You need to give him a smack upside the head and a bottle of bourbon!

(I say this as a recent divorcee who’s ex-wife fucked her best friend’s spouse…blamed me for it…then called the cops and made up a story about how I pushed her (causing injury) to have me arrested (I wasn’t…bc I didn’t do anything))

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For context it was like 3 clumps of non-blooming flowers and they are planning to put the house on the market asap. He left a ton of stuff in the house that he was entitled to after she used the nuclear option on him the day before. Let the man have a few dollars worth of flowers.

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**stalefish3169** · 08-09-2021, 07:41 AM

Originally Posted by Mustonen

^^^ I’d have to agree. There’s enough shit to argue about, and he’d be well advised to save his fights for the things that matter. If he’s lawyered up (like he should be) he’s literally paying for prolonging and embittering the battle.

I decided fairly early on that my ex wasn’t worth fighting with. She doesn’t rank that high on my list and everything is strictly transactional. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t try to bring the fight to me (even still), but the few things I regret during the time leading up to and after my divorce were literally all the handful of times where I said what I thought or provoked a fight over some silly material thing rather than restrict it to what needed to be said or done. At a basic level, she isn’t an honest person, and I’m not going to fix her narcissistic-leaning BPD or score meaningful points in any game I actually care about.

Props to you for being there for your friend. When I went through this a few years ago I don’t know how I would have gotten through it without the support of a few close friends. Still makes me all misty.

Thanks. Seeing your full-grown man best friend break down and start crying like his 3 year old is a hard thing to watch. But glad I could help him finally get on with his life. I can't imagine being in a years long cage match. I've definitely had marriage FOMO over the years but fuck if I didn't feel content with being a bachelor after Saturday.

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**TahoeJ** · 08-09-2021, 09:29 AM

Originally Posted by Mustonen

I decided fairly early on that my ex wasn’t worth fighting with. She doesn’t rank that high on my list and everything is strictly transactional. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t try to bring the fight to me (even still), but the few things I regret during the time leading up to and after my divorce were literally all the handful of times where I said what I thought or provoked a fight over some silly material thing rather than restrict it to what needed to be said or done. At a basic level, she isn’t an honest person, and I’m not going to fix her narcissistic-leaning BPD or score meaningful points in any game I actually care about.

My ex and your ex should probably hang out. You just described my exact experience. People like that get their energy from drama and it takes discipline to not take the bait.

**Woodsy** · 08-10-2021, 11:09 AM

did someone say Tammy Wynette?!?
https://cocaineandrhinestones.com/virginia-wynette-pugh

**Choss Jonger, Sr.** · 09-11-2021, 09:13 PM

I deserve to feel happy.

Gotta start exploring how to protect my assets and how to best navigate the path forward. I am bummed. I am the one calling for a split but things have been broken for years.

**Skidog** · 09-12-2021, 05:58 AM

Originally Posted by Choss Jonger, Sr.

I deserve to feel happy.

Gotta start exploring how to protect my assets and how to best navigate the path forward. I am bummed. I am the one calling for a split but things have been broken for years.

Much luck mag

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**oftpiste** · 09-12-2021, 06:30 PM

Whats happening Jonger? Be careful with assets. As tempting as it is to hide shit you can get even more royally fucked than a normal divorce will make you feel. No-fault state?

And yes, you do deserve to feel happy and chances are you will again eventually.

Holler if you need an ear.

Originally Posted by Choss Jonger, Sr.

I deserve to feel happy.

Gotta start exploring how to protect my assets and how to best navigate the path forward. I am bummed. I am the one calling for a split but things have been broken for years.

**Choss Jonger, Sr.** · 09-12-2021, 07:10 PM

No fault state and no real faults but man oh man why did I think buying a home together would help things?! It is just not something that I want to do any more.

Probably should not talk to a nonTGR lawyer ;-)

**anotherVTskibum** · 11-18-2021, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by stalefish3169

Helping my buddy move his shit out today. He has 8 scheduled hours to move out while the woman and kids are out of the house. Nothing is packed, no plan, and he is trying to reasonably take what is his. Fuck this is depressing.

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Fucking sucks, but better than having to give a list to a third party with enough detail to get the stuff you want and need and also remember where everything is so they can get it, even if the STBX isn't attempting to prevent the third party from getting the stuff.

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**oftpiste** · 11-19-2021, 05:23 PM

I left for the weekend when the ex moved out. Some shit disappeared that shouldn't have but, whatevs. She was out.

**anotherVTskibum** · 12-07-2021, 06:28 PM

Anyone got a good way to get a realistic fair-market value on skis? STBX estimated my ski gear collection at about twice what I'm guessing. The older stuff isn't that hard to value (search eBay, sideline swap, etc); current-year and previous-year stuff is proving a bit more challenging. I can obviously find current new pricing, but that's not particularly helpful (and I don't think I can just quote the standard Gear Swap guidelines, as entertaining as it might be to try to claim TGR as a source of expert knowledge in court).

**MakersTeleMark** · 12-07-2021, 06:36 PM

https://www.assetworks.com/useful-li...-depreciation/

**Supermoon** · 12-07-2021, 06:52 PM

Any bindings that aren’t indemnified you should list at zero since they effectively can’t be remounted or worked on

**MakersTeleMark** · 12-07-2021, 06:57 PM

Originally Posted by Supermoon

Any bindings that aren’t indemnified you should list at zero

Same for tele equipment of any sort.

**TahoeJ** · 12-08-2021, 12:23 AM

Originally Posted by anotherVTskibum

Anyone got a good way to get a realistic fair-market value on skis? STBX estimated my ski gear collection at about twice what I'm guessing. The older stuff isn't that hard to value (search eBay, sideline swap, etc); current-year and previous-year stuff is proving a bit more challenging. I can obviously find current new pricing, but that's not particularly helpful (and I don't think I can just quote the standard Gear Swap guidelines, as entertaining as it might be to try to claim TGR as a source of expert knowledge in court).

Divorce = garage sale prices on everything. Trust me, I was the one who moved out and it screwed me.