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02-21-2020, 10:45 AM #4526Registered User
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- Location
- northern BC
- Posts
- 31,028
I think its different everywhere but we renegotiated child support without a lawyer at least 3 times, she would ask and I would offer a little more "tell ya what I'm gona do for ya " but the key was keeping the lawyers out of it and staying in control, also she never wanted alimony, shitty wife but she was a pretty good ex-wife eh
but in any case those were my kids, so I would just give her a stack of post dated cheques, so never once late with and never once begrudged the money i sent her for child support ever, ironicaly it was she who lost a couple of the cheques which I replaced
Its been 25yars, so between time/booze/drugs/ snorting AQS fumes it's all pretty hazy but at some point i calculated I was net making 10$ a month paying child support after taxes but I can't remember exactly how
Consider there are also dead beat men out there that women had to pay off in divorce, met a pretty sharp business woman last week who maybe wasnt so sharp in love ... she ended up paying off both her husbands
at my age I get into long term relationships with women in menopause so its been like ground hog day
edit: now I remember, the child tax credit was > the residual child supportLast edited by XXX-er; 02-21-2020 at 01:10 PM.
Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know
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02-21-2020, 01:24 PM #4527Registered User
- Join Date
- Jan 2019
- Posts
- 56
Been a long time since I updated.
Life keeps moving along. Mountain Bike Girl (MBG- my roommate) came to me last fall- "I'm thinking about buying a place of my own". I read it as a test to see if I was committed to a relationship with her. There was no way I was going to be ok with progressing things while living together so I told her that was a good idea. She closed in January and now lives 15 minutes away.
I've enjoyed having my space again but def miss her a bit. I've been hanging with and dating other girls. Hung out with my ex a bit as well.
Have recently been hanging with climber girl (CG), who is a friend of a friend. Seems like many of the non-single women in my life are sending referrals my way. CG is super cool, into climbing and hockey and we've had really good conversations.
My ex very much wants to get back together. It's tough because we have so much history but there was a lot of damage done. CG is def interested in pursuing things. Was recently catching up with MBG and she told me that she wants more than anything for us to be together.
I'm spoiled for choice and not wanting to fuck anyone up. I guess I need to be better at communication. I'm actually thinking about jumping into a full on committed relationship with MBG. Some of my happiest memories of the past several years are experiences we've had together in the past year. At the same time, I worried that I'm still not over my ex.
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02-21-2020, 01:29 PM #4528
^Let us know when the 4-some goes down.
"timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang
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02-21-2020, 01:37 PM #4529
Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice
There is something on the internet called the “list”. I’ve posted it before and got panned. It’s basically a playbook to prepare for Armageddon, and it at least gives you an idea of what the other person may be up to. It definetly explained a lot that happened to me after the fact. Women use it to.
http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374
It’s hard to react to the clues when you have kids are hoping for the best. I had several chances to protect myself but did not act. My A-hole estate planner wrote my trust wrong and my pre martial assets got smoked.
Possession is 9/10th of the law. In a do over, I’d press the button and move my liquid assets offshore in a heart beat and give the attorneys the bird. Go spend a season in cham. Maybe stay. You can’t negotiate with terrorists. If you do, they keep coming back.
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02-21-2020, 02:37 PM #4530
I support ^^^ based on my sample size of one. When I was 23 I had a six month relationship with a 35yo single mom of two kids. I only met the kids once for about one min and not in the context of her boy toy. Rest of our time together was when kids were with Dad.
She was a freak, and would tell me what she wanted in quite graphic terms. It was a great education.
Nice to hear that your social life has improved. Probably because these new ladies see what a good person you are.
Ex prolly wants to get back together because she now sees you are getting along fine or better without her - well except for the emotional scars she inflicted...
This. Wear a helmet-mounted GoPro and post footy.
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02-21-2020, 09:45 PM #4531
I remember a sketchy conversation in Managua in 2012 where a friend of a friend told me he could cash out my 401k tax free. There are countries that don't extradite. I have to believe there are more options.
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02-23-2020, 05:20 PM #4532
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02-23-2020, 05:21 PM #4533
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02-23-2020, 05:23 PM #4534
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02-23-2020, 05:30 PM #4535
I disagree.
Get on dating apps, and tell the truth. When you meet, tell the truth about what you want, who you are, where (emotionally) you are. I was scared to death of doing this because I was certain if they found out who I really was they'd run screaming from the bar.
Nope. You'd be amazed the response you'll get to complete transparency and honest vulnerability. Not in victim mode of course, but just "here I am, this is me, who are you?, wanna hang out?". If they don't you know early who they are, and no one in our position wants to hang out with anyone we can't be ourselves around. Been there, done that and look how well that worked out!
You do you, man! Be open to possibilities and not attached to outcome.
You'll probably be very pleasantly surprised at the results.
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02-23-2020, 05:36 PM #4536Registered User
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- Location
- northern BC
- Posts
- 31,028
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02-26-2020, 12:24 AM #4537
Yep, start working less. Make less, hopefully get her to make more. Go back to school. Etc.
Hiding money and not disclosing it has significant consequences. I’ve heard that people have been doing it with BitCoin but the problem is you have to get the money out of your accounts or avoid your accounts entirely. A guy like me (not me, no thank you to divorce work) would be hired to find those transactions and track them, then make you say what they were for if there is no legitimate purpose. We’ll easily find any large transactions or a significant change in pattern.
I’ve had colleagues catch business owners who had payment made by customers to separate accounts. Now she can also turn you in for tax fraud.
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02-26-2020, 07:15 AM #4538Banned
- Join Date
- May 2007
- Location
- Sandy, Utah
- Posts
- 14,410
I worked for 10 years as a sys admin at an accounting firm that specialized in Matrimonial accounting. They were forensic accountants. They found the money that was hidden in these exact situations. Made bank doing it too.
I actually put them at the bottom of the ocean BELOW the actual lawyers...i always thought it was scummy, but I was just the sys admin .
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02-26-2020, 07:30 AM #4539
Mentioning scum, my wife's lawyer started going all Laura Dern... to the point that my wife actually just fired her yesterday and agreed to hire a mutual mediator instead.
I know family law attorneys are supposed to act in their client's best interests and sometimes have to be aggressive, but god damn some of them are true pieces of shit. Trying to stir the pot and actually make things worse / harder and rack up a bunch of billing hours, etc. I don't know how they sleep at night.
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02-26-2020, 08:31 AM #4540
Most of them are slimy shitbags.
Hopefully this mediator is a step up for both of you.
My ex went the slimy shitbag route.watch out for snakes
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02-26-2020, 09:21 AM #4541
Mine was the worst. Every lawyer I’ve met rolls their eyes when I mention him. Guy crossed the line. I did bump into him yrs later on a dark street. Hopefully he makes a difference in the world of family court now.
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02-26-2020, 09:30 AM #4542
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02-26-2020, 09:51 AM #4543
Yes, first rational behavior in the last several weeks. I think she also knows that if she really wants to get into it, I have some ammunition (behaviorally, but also things like the down payment on our house coming from a separate non-commingled checking account in my name), but her lawyer was too fucking stupid / over the top aggressive to listen to that. My wife probably read the "other" comments in my income / expense / assets disclosure and freaked out, realizing her lawyer was going to do her more harm than good.
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02-26-2020, 11:15 AM #4544
A good sign indeed. OC in my divorce was an absolute raging cunt. She was known to my counsel as such. Completely fucked with me at every possible opportunity. I was involuntarily pro se for a short time and the minute that happened they came after me guns blazing. I was wandering around the courthouse desperately trying to figure out how to stay in the game and filing handwritten responses to their shit.
When I asked the ex to stop it she said something like 'I'm just doing what they tell me to do'.
So consider yourself fortunate in that regard. Sorry again you have to deal with it at all. It will pass.
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04-28-2020, 06:33 PM #4545
Laura Dern makes the best faces!
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04-28-2020, 06:38 PM #4546
I just listened to some Watsonville patio. I am a sap. I try not to call people CUNTS or Twats. As much.
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04-28-2020, 06:58 PM #4547
divorce papers in my hand
fuck
here we go - next step in lifeI didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.
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04-28-2020, 08:22 PM #4548
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04-28-2020, 08:26 PM #4549
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04-28-2020, 08:27 PM #4550
Hang in there and good luck, mikey!
Daniel Ortega eats here.
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