Tammy Wynette cannot be reached for help-Divorce advice

**El Chupacabra** · 02-17-2020, 07:32 PM

Originally Posted by TahoeJ

Biggest surprise to me was breaking the news to my parents yesterday that it was official. Thought they'd be sad and my mom, who is not religious, said, "Oh thank god! We've been biting our tongues for the last few years." That was a wakeup call, to some degree.

I had a friend who split up with his fiance once, it sounded permanent. We "consoled" him with saying things like "she's not the right one" etc -

and then they reconciled, married, and had kids...

**XXX-er** · 02-17-2020, 07:34 PM

yeah keep yer mouth shut on the consoling cuz you may have to eat your words

**BCMtnHound** · 02-17-2020, 08:20 PM

In the past 4 months, 4 couples in our close circle have split up. All with kids, 3 of them with kids under 10. I am so done with this shit. Wife is still out helping the 'closer half' get their life back together, but I am done. All have been parents going through mid life shit, fucking around with the (small) town sluts, feeling sorry for themselves, or wishing their partner was anything other than what they have been since they first hooked up. None have mental health issues, and have reasonably successful careers. I've got no sympathy left. Life sucks sometime. We all make sacrifices, and marriage is about compromise. At least until the dependants leave the house. I'm not investing another moment on whiny entitled adults. The only help I will offer anymore is to take the kids during my normal share of childminding my daughter.

Sorry, but this was supposed to a family weekend. Over half was spent dealing with families that are no more. At least I got out with my girls for a few laps at the local t-bar today.

**MakersTeleMark** · 02-17-2020, 08:31 PM

I often get lot of, "this is bullshit, why do I have to deal with all this?" from my clients.

I always say, "you married and fucked her, that's why". Usually shuts them right up. I try to get that out of the way early.

**~mikey b** · 02-17-2020, 08:56 PM

I will say that you can and should avoid divorce attorneys at all costs. You can do it yourself.

not fun

**Cono Este** · 02-18-2020, 07:13 AM

My brother got the boot. He’s been living large in SoCal, the dream, and was a complete dick to me over the urs in regards to my divorce, getting stranded in St Louis. Actually told me I was a “bum” when I hit hard times afterwards.

His wife makes 500k a yr, and doesn’t need him. She travels a lot, probably fucking another dude, drinks a lot. Two teenagers, totally fucked. Now he’s in a vrbo.

Sooner or later, we all get an education about ourselves. I’d love to help the guy, but he’s too stupid to call for advice. She’ll string him along, let him keep doing the kid chores.
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**TahoeJ** · 02-20-2020, 11:14 AM

Fun development for me this week. My ex started dating this guy from work. After 23 years together she gave it all of 2 weeks since we officially called it quits... which, while definitely tacky, whatever, I don't really care. But she had him over to the house this past weekend... with all three of my fucking kids there. We haven't even had a chance to sit them down and tell them we're getting divorced. At bed time, my 11 year old daughter called me bawling.

Talk about fucked up behavior. What a cunt. Really just trying to get through this settlement and not scorch the earth and waste money on lawyers... but god damn, part of me really wants to.

**Skidog** · 02-20-2020, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by TahoeJ

Fun development for me this week. My ex started dating this guy from work. After 23 years together she gave it all of 2 weeks since we officially called it quits... which, while definitely tacky, whatever, I don't really care. But she had him over to the house this past weekend... with all three of my fucking kids there. We haven't even had a chance to sit them down and tell them we're getting divorced. At bed time, my 11 year old daughter called me bawling.

Talk about fucked up behavior. What a cunt. Really just trying to get through this settlement and not scorch the earth and waste money on lawyers... but god damn, part of me really wants to.

2 weeks and already bringing other men around your kids? WOW.....sorry but i'd scorch the earth no matter what the cost financially.

**riser4** · 02-20-2020, 11:53 AM

Nuke from orbit.

**riser4** · 02-20-2020, 11:54 AM

And I'm guessing it's been going on longer than 2 weeks. That's too much of a coincidence.

**Skidog** · 02-20-2020, 12:14 PM

Originally Posted by riser3

And I'm guessing it's been going on longer than 2 weeks. That's too much of a coincidence.

Make sure legal counsel is aware of this news.

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**scrambledbacon** · 02-20-2020, 12:20 PM

To add...
Never talk shit about her to the kids
Let them figure that out for themselves as they grow

**XXX-er** · 02-20-2020, 12:25 PM

OR you could be smart and just move on

which you will have to do anyway

**Meadow Skipper** · 02-20-2020, 12:40 PM

^ This. There’s nothing you can do about it TJ. Take the high road. Learn not to let it get to you.

**liv2ski** · 02-20-2020, 12:50 PM

Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper

^ This. There’s nothing you can do about it TJ. Take the high road. Learn not to let it get to you.

If age has taught me one lesson, it is you may not like it, but if you can't do anything about it (which you can't) forget about it and move on with your life. Once your kids are older, they will appreciate you a lot if you were a good dad, so do your best to be that guy and blow that woman's shit off.

**Dantheman** · 02-20-2020, 01:01 PM

That's horrible your kids had to find out that way. But, previously in this thread somebody said this (paraphrasing): Your soon-to-be ex dating before the divorce is final is great. The happier and more distracted she is the better because it makes her that much less likely to want to fuck you over. And if she does try to screw you, now you have ammo.

Deep breaths, stay calm, stay rational.

**SkiCougar** · 02-20-2020, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by TahoeJ

Fun development for me this week. My ex started dating this guy from work. After 23 years together she gave it all of 2 weeks since we officially called it quits... which, while definitely tacky, whatever, I don't really care. But she had him over to the house this past weekend... with all three of my fucking kids there. We haven't even had a chance to sit them down and tell them we're getting divorced. At bed time, my 11 year old daughter called me bawling.

Talk about fucked up behavior. What a cunt. Really just trying to get through this settlement and not scorch the earth and waste money on lawyers... but god damn, part of me really wants to.

bitches be crazy !

now, men can be crazy to but its usually men go crazy in the marriage that can cause the divorce; they tend to be the more civil ones after.

SB · 02-20-2020, 01:20 PM

If she only took two weeks to snort another dick out of a pack, extra douche bag points for it being one of your co workers, be on guard for her to use New dad to try and turn the kids against you.

You had best talk to the kids now.

**CascadeLuke** · 02-20-2020, 01:29 PM

Dang don’t like seeing these things - feel for you TJ. Have little to add to the good reasonable advice above...
Do have a question if you’re willing to share? Can you / do you look back and see signals when y’all first connected that make this ending seem inevitable (in hindsight).?
Or had you just drifted apart as a couple?

All the split talk above by others has me curious about it. Thanks

**liv2ski** · 02-20-2020, 02:28 PM

CL, from the marriage encounter workshops we did years ago, people who do not work on their marriage pretty much everyday (just the little things) end up growing apart and becoming "Married Singles". At the time I could see that is what happened to us. Coming back together is hard but not impossible. I have heard testimonies of the worst shit, yet the couple over came it with the proper guidance and desire to stay together. That is not for everyone, but it is possible. My best wishes to all the guys in this thread going through this shit.

**RootSkier** · 02-20-2020, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by SB

extra douche bag points for it being one of your co workers,

I read that as one of HER coworkers.

Either way, that sucks TJ.

**Timberridge** · 02-20-2020, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by liv2ski

Coming back together is hard but not impossible. I have heard testimonies of the worst shit, yet the couple over came it with the proper guidance and desire to stay together. That is not for everyone, but it is possible.

Like in the Pina Colada song?

**Bobby Finstock** · 02-20-2020, 02:45 PM

Originally Posted by TahoeJ

Fun development for me this week. My ex started dating this guy from work. After 23 years together she gave it all of 2 weeks since we officially called it quits...

the cock carousel goes round and round

**XXX-er** · 02-20-2020, 02:58 PM

Originally Posted by Dantheman

That's horrible your kids had to find out that way. But, previously in this thread somebody said this (paraphrasing): Your soon-to-be ex dating before the divorce is final is great. The happier and more distracted she is the better because it makes her that much less likely to want to fuck you over. And if she does try to screw you, now you have ammo.

Deep breaths, stay calm, stay rational.

maybe the laws are different down there but does any judge really give a fuck ?

When I spent 2 days in court over the starter marriage nobody really cared who fucked whom

it was just get the business end of it done

men and women fuck each other up in a marriage same as it ever was

**TahoeJ** · 02-20-2020, 04:07 PM

Originally Posted by Dantheman

That's horrible your kids had to find out that way. But, previously in this thread somebody said this (paraphrasing): Your soon-to-be ex dating before the divorce is final is great. The happier and more distracted she is the better because it makes her that much less likely to want to fuck you over. And if she does try to screw you, now you have ammo.

Deep breaths, stay calm, stay rational.

Yep, I'm not going to overreact. And yes, in an ugly divorce that behavior can absolutely carry consequences with certain judges depending on the collective context. Some of her friends called her out on her shit today and have my back, so that's nice at least.