Happy to have no kids

**splitinbend** · 09-06-2015, 03:45 AM

Anybody happily married without kids? My grandparents visited this weekend on their yearly motor home trip this weekend. During a conversation she said it's really hard being of retirement age and not having children/your own family. Anyone glad they don't have kids?

**stfu&gbtw** · 09-06-2015, 06:38 AM

I was just playing golf last week with a buddy of mine who's doing the no kids thing with his wife. They have all the predictable results... Tons of money, time to travel, whatever they want. My wife and I did that for the first 10 years of our relationship, and it was a blast. I don't wish we still were though, and looking at this dude, now 40, with all his toys ... He seems pretty bored.

At this stage of my life, I can't imagine not having kids, and I bet that doesn't go away.

**babybear** · 09-06-2015, 07:14 AM

Wouldn't your grandmother's children be your parents?

We are also DINK's (Dual Income No Kids) and haven't decided whether we want the childrens or just keep getting dogs that we will probably inevitably start treating more and more like human children.

**Name Redacted** · 09-06-2015, 07:38 AM

DINKs here and loving it.

**liv2ski** · 09-06-2015, 07:54 AM

I guess it depends on my mood and understanding I am a little selfish, as there are times I wish we had 3 children rather than two and then other times where in hindsight, I realize kids are a lot of work, can put a lot of stress into a relationship and then there is the financial drain, so I think "Dinks" are better off. Tough call really. Now that they are adults, I am glad they are around. Now if they could just meet normal hard working guys that adore them.

**Jacques Sheer-Rocko** · 09-06-2015, 08:31 AM

Happy DINKs here, mid-40s. Many can't fathom it, my wife has gotten plenty of "then what's the point?". Some go with "I'm sorry" in a hushed tone, imagining the horrible accident that must have made us "unable". Each to their own.

**skifishbum** · 09-06-2015, 08:39 AM

we gots/have always had furkids and our life would not be as happy nor fulfilling w/out them.

**Game Over** · 09-06-2015, 08:41 AM

We just had our first. I never wanted kids until just the last few years. It's a huge change but I love it.

**mcsquared** · 09-06-2015, 08:59 AM

Some people build an identity around being parents, some around the shit they can buy because they aren't parents. Some people build entire lives around treating their dogs as if they were children. Everybody is just marching to the same conspicuous consumption beat. Gotta go, I promised my boys I would build them a sandbox today.

**mntlion** · 09-06-2015, 09:02 AM

DINKS: both 40+ and together for 20+. Didn't want kids when I was younger, and still dont. Happy this way, but YMMV

**Name Redacted** · 09-06-2015, 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by Jacques Sheer-Rocko

Happy DINKs here, mid-40s. Many can't fathom it, my wife has gotten plenty of "then what's the point?". Some go with "I'm sorry" in a hushed tone, imagining the horrible accident that must have made us "unable". Each to their own.

My wife gets that a lot, from the same friends who complain constantly about lack of sleep, sex, money, and how they hate their spouse because of their kids. I know there are good points to parenthood, but we made a conscious decision to enjoy our lives how we want. It allows us to enjoy the finer things in life that we couldn't do, or couldn't do as well with kids. Yeah, we are selfish, independent, and proud of it.

**Game Over** · 09-06-2015, 09:12 AM

Originally Posted by shredgnar

Yeah, we are selfish, independent, and proud of it.

I see it the other way-- the worst thing a person can do to the planet is create another human to take up space and resources. There could be a strong case saying that people who have multiple kids are selfish.

It still has not set in that I'm a parent.... And honestly the person I was 5 years ago would slap today's me in the face.

One thing is for sure-- there is no going back!

**Name Redacted** · 09-06-2015, 09:15 AM

Originally Posted by steepconcrete

I see it the other way-- the worst thing a person can do to the planet is create another human to take up space and resources. There could be a strong case saying that people who have multiple kids are selfish.

Damnit! Don't use your reverse psychology on me BREEDER!!

**Danno** · 09-06-2015, 09:16 AM

Originally Posted by steepconcrete

It still has not set in that I'm a parent.... And honestly the person I was 5 years ago would slap today's me in the face.

One thing is for sure-- there is no going back!

4 1/2 years in and sometimes it still hasn't sunk in!

I was a reluctant parent, and this shit doesn't come naturally to me. But my kiddo has reached an age where she is super fun, and it's hard to imagine life without her.

**The SnowShow** · 09-06-2015, 09:16 AM

We had our 3 yr old daughter later than most of our friends, and (I feel) have done a good job at balancing being good parents to her as well as keeping our old lifestyle intact. She's growing up to be quite the outdoor girl which is exciting for us to see and experience. She's rather go hiking than go to the Monkey Business indoor playground; she'd rather ski than sit at home on the iPad.

We're not sure about another because we like were we are so much now. It seems like a lot of people feel obliged to have more than one, even if it's not initially in their heart. I can't imagine having lived life and not experienced parenthood, but that's me. On the other hand, plenty of people have kids that shouldn't.

**schuss** · 09-06-2015, 09:49 AM

Whichever you choose, make sure you're both on board and committed to it. We don't have the adventures we used to with a kiddo, but he's totally awesome. That said, you have to be totally into the parental commitments to make it totally awesome, otherwise you'll just be bitter.
This comic is pretty accurate:
http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3693

**guroo270** · 09-06-2015, 09:55 AM

I'm not responsible enough to have kids. I know people say that changes when you accidentally have one, but I don't want to either. I do plan on being a baseball, golf, basketball coach though to help the schmucks that neglect their children. If more people realized they have no business being parents the world would be a much better place.

A friend of mine had a baby a year and a half ago that I can't imagine didn't run up well over a million dollar hospital bill due poor decisions and birth defects. She's sure to post pictures of her weekly visits to the hospital where the baby has stayed since day one. They have no money to support anything like that. She's pregnant again. Unbelievable.

Then there's my ex-brother-in-law who is a workaholic, travels the world constantly for work, and his wife that's about the same. They both make well into the six figures. At least they'll be able to afford a great nanny, but I just don't fucking get that. Be a goddamn parent or don't.

I was the child of 3 very different marriages. Poor dad, pretty absent, wealthy dad, extremely absent, and middle class with a dad that never even mentioned work when he got home and spent tons of time with us doing fun shit. I respect all 3, but the latter was my preference by leaps and bounds.

**skifishbum** · 09-06-2015, 10:06 AM

i'm stoked i gots good mag friends w/ crotchfruits
even more so that they let my slacker degenerate ass anywhere near em
let alone share passions.
stoked my nephews goin to school @ wesmister and i get a chance to pass on a bit of skifish bummery his way
the mrs. has got him out going for an oylmpus summit this morn

**dtown** · 09-06-2015, 10:11 AM

My POV is people either want to be DINK's and others want to have kids. Both love it for different reasons and wouldn't change it for the world.

I have 3 kids, sometimes would be nice to be a DINK but 99% of me couldn't imagine life without the kiddos.

**mall walker** · 09-06-2015, 10:26 AM

Married DINKs, loving it... disposable income ftw

**Plainview** · 09-06-2015, 11:23 AM

I'm too old for kids now. If I'd found the right woman 15 years ago things might have been different. As it is, I'm on the tail-end of middle age and don't even have a girlfriend and that's how it looks like it'll stay, so guess I better be okay with it!

**Yonder_River** · 09-06-2015, 12:20 PM

It probably depends on where you are in life. Being a young to middle-aged childless couple can be fun, although I've noticed that the social circle can start dwindling quickly unless you develop close bonds with other committed dink's. Probably best to really like being with your spouse most of the time. Your grandfolks are probably realizing how much adult children can help as you get old and start to feel a bit frail.

I thought I could only live the outdoor sports lifestyle way back in the Bozeman time and almost ditched my now wife, then girlfriend when she let me know she definitely wanted a family. So glad I didn't, have three young boys now and a lot of fun life to look forward to.

**danmelon** · 09-06-2015, 12:28 PM

Single w no kids in the later half of my thirties. Had a few longish serious relationships & thought about having a kid in my early 30s, but didn't and now in hindsight, I'm sure glad I didn't. I also am prob too selfish to have kids, heck I'm way too selfish to be in a relationship even. I'm pretty happy though, life is pretty free of complication when your on your own (and there's a big difference between being on your own and being lonely). The only bummer about this no fam situation is for my folks, who prob wished i was more settled down and what not. My big sis has a pretty rad 13 y o though so all is not lost and I'm super stoked to be a good uncle to him.

Who knows, maybe some day...

**narc** · 09-06-2015, 01:08 PM

I have no desire for kids but finding a women with similar mindset is... not easy. What sorts of types of women don't want them? After hearing how quickly "why doesn't she just stop the pill?" was suggested in a recent discussion where one women was saying her husband didn't want to have kids just yet, my nightmare scenario is she changes her mind, skips the contraception and hello unwanted fatherhood. Desire aside, given family problems I don't want to unconsciously screw a child up though my parenting, a new life deserves better.

I agree with steepconcrete and don't really understand the 'selfish' label attached to couple who don't want kids. The human race is really not in danger of dying out anytime soon.

**mtngirl79** · 09-06-2015, 01:23 PM

I think there are a lot more people choosing to not have children than there use to be. Along with that, more people choosing not to be married, or to be in non traditional relationships and all that will equal out to an easier time with aging and maintaining connections and finding needed assistance.

At least it seems that way. Most of the elderly people I work with seem to have a bigger support system in place with the senior center and neighbors than family anyways.

I know a fair number of women who have chosen to be childless. I wish women with children wouldn't judge us so harshly.