Wagon Stoke

**Art Shirk** · 03-19-2021, 03:16 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

Oh fuck I’m dying Art. That’s hilarious.

My buddy had the upmarket Mercury Topaz in the same red.

His came with a baby spice sticker on the dash. Custom.

Oooh, fancy. The Topaz was a touch out of budget, especially after dropping money on the radio shack CD system and 6'' home speakers I wired into the back.

My carpooler is still a good friend but goddamn he was annoying. I had the make double certain I never needed gas when we were in the car together. if I had to stop, he would hold down the horn the entire time I was filling up. It actually used to change pitch about 30 seconds in.

**Art Shirk** · 03-19-2021, 03:18 PM

Originally Posted by waveshello

Now I just need to find a few good tapes to play when the adapter needs to be charged.

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Well there is an Eazy Duz It tape in a Tempo somewhere if you can track it down.

**BmillsSkier** · 03-19-2021, 03:25 PM

Originally Posted by Art Shirk

Oooh, fancy. The Topaz was a touch out of budget, especially after dropping money on the radio shack CD system and 6'' home speakers I wired into the back.

My carpooler is still a good friend but goddamn he was annoying. I had the make double certain I never needed gas when we were in the car together. if I had to stop, he would hold down the horn the entire time I was filling up. It actually used to change pitch about 30 seconds in.

Hahaha... I think we had the same friend growing up.

I can picture that poor horn just gasping for air halfway through.

Do we have a shitty car appreciation thread? Cause if not we need one.

**Art Shirk** · 03-19-2021, 03:38 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

Do we have a shitty car appreciation thread? Cause if not we need one.

Was thinking the same thing as I was reminiscing about that car, and many others. Had a Justy that we called the Washing Machine because, well, it looked exactly like a washing machine, weighed about the same, drove like one as well but could drive through almost anything thrown its way.

Same buddy had a Honda Spree that he repainted every 6 months or so. It was the General Spree for awhile (hey Dex, we watched the Dukes of Hazard, so no need to tell us about the racial implications) and then the Killing Spree, with the blood splatters to prove it.

**RootSkier** · 03-19-2021, 03:42 PM

Wow, a friend had a Saturn wagon in high school. Some shenanigans happened in that thing. I haven't seen one of those since...97.

**BmillsSkier** · 03-19-2021, 03:58 PM

Originally Posted by Art Shirk

Was thinking the same thing as I was reminiscing about that car, and many others. Had a Justy that we called the Washing Machine because, well, it looked exactly like a washing machine, weighed about the same, drove like one as well but could drive through almost anything thrown its way.

Same buddy had a Honda Spree that he repainted every 6 months or so. It was the General Spree for awhile (hey Dex, we watched the Dukes of Hazard, so no need to tell us about the racial implications) and then the Killing Spree, with the blood splatters to prove it.

That’s it. Someone start the thread. There’s too much gold in here to keep stories like that to yourself.

And are you sure we didn’t grow up together? We had a friend nicknamed Weenie that drove a Justy for a bit until he killed it jumping over a railroad crossing. Which we got on video. Which was awesome.

Then his neighbor stupidly trusted us to ride his Honda Spree. Which we promptly relieved it of all of the non essential bits to make it “jump better”.

Kid shows up drunk and mad at a bonfire and says fuck it, if it’s ruined I’m gonna jump it over the fire.

Which he did, and then promptly lost control through a fence into the horse pasture and face down into a load of fresh horse shit. That was a great night.

**MontuckyFried** · 03-19-2021, 04:00 PM

Thanks for keeping it real with the Saturn. Man those were actually really great little rides. Super reliable from what I've heard. Especially with the stick.

I like where this thread is heading! I mean Audi RS6 Avants are cool and all, but finally some OBTAINABLE wagon stoke.

**Skidog** · 03-19-2021, 04:06 PM

Had a chevy eurowagon when I was a pre teen and into my driving days. What a total piece of shit.

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**stealurface831** · 03-19-2021, 04:14 PM

not inherently a piece of shit but my suburban is well on its way. my buddy drunkenly yanked on the rear passengers side door while locked and ended up losing his balance. took the door handle off with him on his way down.

all the extraneous knobs on the console are missing. kinda hard to get ac and music volume dialed. she struggles getting over 2k rpms but is still alive.

**Aldo** · 03-19-2021, 04:41 PM

Originally Posted by Skidog

Had a chevy eurowagon when I was a pre teen and into my driving days. What a total piece of shit.

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I thought the Eurosport Chevrolet line had some potential- styling touches if you will- a faring here, a few international flags there, front drive seemingly checks the boxes for ski car , it had a throaty exhaust tone , as much as you could muster from the anemic 2.8. I would’ve rocked it.

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**BmillsSkier** · 03-19-2021, 05:58 PM

It looked particularly fast in the Kitt trim.

**Skidog** · 03-19-2021, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by Aldo

I thought the Eurosport Chevrolet line had some potential- styling touches if you will- a faring here, a few international flags there, front drive seemingly checks the boxes for ski car , it had a throaty exhaust tone , as much as you could muster from the anemic 2.8. I would’ve rocked it.

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I did but it was a piece of shit despite all you mention. Lol

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**Skidog** · 03-19-2021, 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

It looked particularly fast in the Kitt trim.

Ours was gray. Otherwise very similar

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**Aldo** · 03-19-2021, 06:39 PM

Wow that’s the one, almost a stablemate to your knight rider pontiac. Very tron.

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**Touring_Sedan** · 03-23-2021, 04:08 PM

$127,500

https://bringatrailer.com/listing/2021-audi-rs6-avant/

**funkendrenchman** · 03-23-2021, 04:42 PM

Originally Posted by alpinevibes

Spied my first RS6 Avant in the flesh this weekend. Very very nice. My wife even commented "I want THAT!"

Sebring Black Crystal, brand new with temp tags... Someone's hooning in Aspen.

Hope I wasn’t speeding

**babybear** · 03-23-2021, 04:55 PM

Originally Posted by funkendrenchman

Hope I wasn’t speeding

**Core Shot** · 03-23-2021, 07:02 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

Fellow wagon enthusiast buddy of mine shows me this pic of his bud’s wagon that he picked up recently because the dealer couldn’t find a buyer. Next to no miles, CPO, diesel, manual, unicorn wagon.

Attachment 367565

Holy shit.
I’m in love.

**waveshello** · 03-25-2021, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

Fellow wagon enthusiast buddy of mine shows me this pic of his bud’s wagon that he picked up recently because the dealer couldn’t find a buyer. Next to no miles, CPO, diesel, manual, unicorn wagon.

Attachment 367565

This renegade out there riding a tarmac with no seat and a wheel magnet computer.

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**riser4** · 03-25-2021, 09:25 AM

Originally Posted by Art Shirk

They all came running back when my next car turned out to be an 89 Tempo with the mahogany crushed velour seats. Even the dash was red.

Quick story - that car had these little seat belt release levers on either side of the ebrake as I recall. When pulled up, an annoying ding occurred until they were put down. My buddy carpooled with me and would pull them up to initiate dinging. When I went to put them back down, he would honk the horn because I couldnt bat his arm away. I spent a year constantly deciding if I wanted to go mad from dinging or honk at inappropriate times.

That car also had an Eazy E tape stuck in the player and a miswired harness so the wipers and lights were interchanged. No one else could figure out how to drive that car in inclement weather. Ran into a cat on the way to school and had it wedged somewhere in the engine bay for months until it finally burned off. Fuck that thing smelled.

Holy shit. You're killing me!

**bagtagley** · 03-25-2021, 12:54 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

Hahaha... I think we had the same friend growing up.

I can picture that poor horn just gasping for air halfway through.

I think we all did. The right kinda payback usually brought that shit back in check...or escalated things. Like telling them to be outside so you could pick them up for a party, then driving by their house at speed, horn blaring, everyone in the car waving and going to the party without them so that they end up having to have their mom drop them off at a "new friend's" house down the street from the party so she doesn't know they're going to a rager.

**Art Shirk** · 03-25-2021, 01:23 PM

I need to jump into the Worst cars thread apparently. Solid bump there.

To my credit, I did pull a Wayne most mornings when my buddy tried to get in the car

Another shitty car story - There was a really smug douche in high school who used to ride to school on some little bespoke cafe racer that he built. He never stopped talking about it. He was basically the "I gave my love a cherry..." twerp from Animal House but with a motorcycle instead of a guitar. By senior year, the Tempo had destroyed itself between foreign objects in the engine bay, hard use, and well, being a Tempo, and I found a beat up Cherokee that I could afford. For all its faults, it had on overly powerful rear windshield fluid dispenser, When you pulled the lever, the water/solution shot over the back and drenched the top of the car, it was like a mini fire hose.

So, i repositioned the angle of ejection, pointing it straight backwards. My HS had two ways into the student parking lot. One was up a super steep hill in the front and then there was a small neighborhood side street that intersected it near the top that people rarely used and was pretty nonobvious. I would sit on that side street until I heard the douche puttering up the steep hill. I would time it to pull in front of him before entry into the parking lot and then send a rear facing blast of whatever I had filled the reservoir with straight to his dome. The dispenser was the perfect height, like the Cherokee was built just for this guy's face. It started with water and never got worse than old Dr. Pepper. I wasn't a mean kid in HS so for purposes of the story, just know that this guy deserved it. After a few run ins, he would swerve around like madman behind me while I shot fluids at him.

**BmillsSkier** · 03-25-2021, 01:29 PM

Originally Posted by YourMomJustCalled

$127,500

https://bringatrailer.com/listing/2021-audi-rs6-avant/

Oh shit, that escalated quickly. I was watching that one and it was still around the mid 50's as of yesterday morning.

Speaking of our favorite longroof, my AMG fanboi buddy (no, not Digital Drew) sent me this the other day about the RS6 Avant vs e63 Wagon vs Panamera Sport Turismo Turbo S:

https://www.motortrend.com/cars/pors...n-test-review/

And the entirety of the article basically fellates the AMG while subtly acknowledging that the Porsche is the best, and blasting the Audi.

Thing is, Chris Harris raved about the Avant, as did several others (even Doug fucking Demuro called it the ultimate fast wagon) so while I'm in no position to judge guys who can round up 3 wagons like this and nitpick em to death, I gotta ask, is Motor Trend just a bought and paid for advertising piece now or do they just have shit reviewers or is the AMG really the top of the mountain?

**jono** · 03-25-2021, 01:31 PM

Originally Posted by Art Shirk

Another shitty car story - There was a really smug douche in high school who used to ride to school on some little bespoke cafe racer that he built. He never stopped talking about it. He was basically the "I gave my love a cherry..." twerp from Animal House but with a motorcycle instead of a guitar. By senior year, the Tempo had destroyed itself between foreign objects in the engine bay, hard use, and well, being a Tempo, and I found a beat up Cherokee that I could afford. For all its faults, it had on overly powerful rear windshield fluid dispenser, When you pulled the lever, the water/solution shot over the back and drenched the top of the car, it was like a mini fire hose.

So, i repositioned the angle of ejection, pointing it straight backwards. My HS had two ways into the student parking lot. One was up a super steep hill in the front and then there was a small neighborhood side street that intersected it near the top that people rarely used and was pretty nonobvious. I would sit on that side street until I heard the douche puttering up the steep hill. I would time it to pull in front of him before entry into the parking lot and then send a rear facing blast of whatever I had filled the reservoir with straight to his dome. The dispenser was the perfect height, like the Cherokee was built just for this guy's face. It started with water and never got worse than old Dr. Pepper. I wasn't a mean kid in HS so for purposes of the story, just know that this guy deserved it. After a few run ins, he would swerve around like madman behind me while I shot fluids at him.

When the TGR forums movie gets made this scene should be in the trailer.

**Art Shirk** · 03-25-2021, 01:46 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

Oh shit, that escalated quickly. I was watching that one and it was still around the mid 50's as of yesterday morning.

Speaking of our favorite longroof, my AMG fanboi buddy (no, not Digital Drew) sent me this the other day about the RS6 Avant vs e63 Wagon vs Panamera Sport Turismo Turbo S:

https://www.motortrend.com/cars/pors...n-test-review/

And the entirety of the article basically fellates the AMG while subtly acknowledging that the Porsche is the best, and blasting the Audi.

Thing is, Chris Harris raved about the Avant, as did several others (even Doug fucking Demuro called it the ultimate fast wagon) so while I'm in no position to judge guys who can round up 3 wagons like this and nitpick em to death, I gotta ask, is Motor Trend just a bought and paid for advertising piece now or do they just have shit reviewers or is the AMG really the top of the mountain?

It's car brain candy, but I always enjoy these guys. No cornering, but fun stuff: