I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[riser4]

So here’s a new one: blinds. When we bought our house, none of the windows had blinds…..So, we dropped a pretty good chunk of change on some nice blinds, open both ways, honeycombed, yada yada yada……This was six years ago. At night, I always close the one in our living room that faces the street, and the one in our bedroom that faces the backyard, cause you know, sleep and shit. This morning, Mrs. Seano starts my day with: “ Don’t take this the wrong way, but why do close the blinds at night? Do you know how claustrophobic that makes me?!?! Seriously!”
She then storms off down the hall, leaving me in the kitchen holding my cup of Joe I hadn’t even taken a sip from……I promptly went for a MTB ride. What the actual fuck.

She pregnant?

[seano732]

She pregnant?

Not to my knowledge……And if she is, we got bigger issues cause I got the snip after we had the twins…….

[skaredshtles]

Not to my knowledge……And if she is, we got bigger issues cause I got the snip after we had the twins…….

[From_the_NEK]

menopause?

[The Tortoise]

North wind?

[PB]

Peed in the sink?

[old goat]

Thank you for purchasing quality guest pillows.

Stayed at my buddy's place a few times before the wife and I said "fuck this" and we now bring our own awesome foam $$$ pillows with us when we're gonna crash there. As I drag in all our shit in one go (because that's what men do), "We've got pillows for you guys." "Not really."

Our guest bedroom has 4 pillows in it, with 3 varying levels of girth and firmness. They ain't the crazy expensive kind, but the paulster takes care of you.

My Pillow pillows?

[JayPowHound]

You ever watch this guy? He's pretty goddam funny too:

https://www.youtube.com/user/TUKAFUKA

Yup.

Fuck jar sauce.

[Core Shot]

My Pillow pillows?

That’s one of the levels of hell Dante wrote about

[seano732]

menopause?

Too early, I think…..But possible.

North wind?

Nope. Has been hot AF here though….

Peed in the sink?

Lulz. Not for a few years.

[Skidog]

We live in a beach vacation area that is world famous. Mrs. L2S needs a holiday, so wants to drive 6 hours north to where it is hot as fuck to tour wineries for a few days. How do I reason with her?

I don't know, sounds like a weekend with the wifey getting drunk and frisky to me. Heat be damned, I'd be all in on that. #derpoopenhausen

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[Fofo]

...
with 3 varying levels of girth and firmness
...

I had a girlfriend with a collection like that. It wasn't pillows, though. She was fun!

[Falcon3]

Lulz. Not for a few years.

That’s your problem. She’s acting out because you haven’t established your male domination of the household by peeing in the sink for a while. I’m sure you’ve slipped in other related areas too.

Next time you’re in the kitchen with her, establish firm eye contact and let the stream rip. Don’t be afraid to splash it around a little.

[AK47bp]

That’s your problem. She’s acting out because you haven’t established your male domination of the household by peeing in the sink for a while. I’m sure you’ve slipped in other related areas too.

Next time you’re in the kitchen with her, establish firm eye contact and let the stream rip. Don’t be afraid to splash it around a little.

Couldn’t agree more.


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[Supermoon]

Please film it so we have evidence of your murder to use at trial.

[seano732]

Please film it so we have evidence of your murder to use at trial.

Thanks, I guess????

[oftpiste]

Pee in that sink. That'll show her.

right in the bowl.

[Lvovsky]

Left of the bowl works just as well

[Touring_Sedan]

Here's another one. My wife is an extremely detail-oriented cleaner, which is good in many respects but frustrating in others. Here's an example: any time she cleans a thermos, she will disassemble THE ENTIRE THING, taking apart every gasket and every movable part she can find. This is all well and good - left to my own devices, I would either rarely (or never) clean the gaskets on a thermos. The problem happens when she goes on a cleaning spree and deconstructs 4 different thermoses, leaving me to puzzle back which gasket goes where - OR, where she'll deconstruct a thermos to clean it, and then put it back in the cupboard unassembled with the gasket put somewhere else.

Every time I grab the Instant Pot it gets halfway through th cycle before I realize there's no fucking gasket in it...... and this is after I've spent 45 minutes trying to find the drip cup and the vent topper.

[oftpiste]

That's the price you pay for having one of those silly things.

[Touring_Sedan]

That's the price you pay for having one of those silly things.

If throwing 5 things in a bucket and pressing two buttons gets the kids dinner on the table giving me more time to grill something proper for the rest of us, then color me guilty.

[oftpiste]

yeah, but the gasket!

[tetzen]

Please film it so we have evidence of your murder to use at trial.

Better yet, live stream it.

[ZomblibulaX]

Every time I grab the Instant Pot it gets halfway through th cycle before I realize there's no fucking gasket in it...... and this is after I've spent 45 minutes trying to find the drip cup and the vent topper.

How do you manage to get the instant pot going without realizing you're missing the gasket that smells like every single thing you've ever cooked in your instant pot?

[brutah]

Better yet, live stream it.

I see what you did there #bravo #golfclap

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