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  1. #4376
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    northern BC
    Posts
    26,612
    OG may have a VCR but I doubt he can program it
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  2. #4377
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    7,865
    Must be Irish.

    Quote Originally Posted by riser3 View Post
    I'm not opposed to the idea. Sounds festive.
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  3. #4378
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
    Posts
    19,834
    Quote Originally Posted by XXX-er View Post
    OG may have a VCR but I doubt he can program it
    I probably couldn't program it to record a TV show any more. I have excellent DVR skills however. Unlike my wife I never miss recording a show I want to watch.

  4. #4379
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Coast of the East Coast
    Posts
    7,355
    So does anyone else's wife tell them they are sick of planning trips, so you plan this one? Then they proceed to send you VRBO links before you can even start to look into it (mostly because you have other WORK to be doing as well) and bitch when you send them links that aren't exactly what they had in mind? Am I alone here? What do I do. If I do nothing, I am a lazy asshole. If I do something, it will be wrong, but at least I tried. Do I make the effort and then let her and the kids decide ultimately? I can sleep on the ground for all I care. HELP!!

    I feel like this is a test that I can't win. She wants to drive and be the passenger at the same time. Maybe it is just about the effort, not the end result. God these creatures are difficult to understand.

  5. #4380
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Where the sheets have no stains
    Posts
    18,219
    Separate vacations?
    I have been in this State for 30 years and I am willing to admit that I am part of the problem.

    "Happiest years of my life were earning < $8.00 and hour, collecting unemployment every spring and fall, no car, no debt and no responsibilities. 1984-1990 Park City UT"

  6. #4381
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    8,846
    Quote Originally Posted by warthog View Post
    So does anyone else's wife tell them they are sick of planning trips, so you plan this one? Then they proceed to send you VRBO links before you can even start to look into it (mostly because you have other WORK to be doing as well) and bitch when you send them links that aren't exactly what they had in mind? Am I alone here? What do I do. If I do nothing, I am a lazy asshole. If I do something, it will be wrong, but at least I tried. Do I make the effort and then let her and the kids decide ultimately? I can sleep on the ground for all I care. HELP!!

    I feel like this is a test that I can't win. She wants to drive and be the passenger at the same time. Maybe it is just about the effort, not the end result. God these creatures are difficult to understand.
    Just do your best, overwhelm her with questionable options and random questions. For every link she sends you send her 4 back.

    Eventually she’ll “bless his heart” you and take over.

    It’s a lot of work but hopefully it may prevent future assignments.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  7. #4382
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    In a van... down by the river
    Posts
    9,642
    Quote Originally Posted by Bunion 2020 View Post
    Separate vacations?
    BOOM! Problem solved.

    Spoken like a single dude.

  8. #4383
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
    Posts
    19,834
    My wife and I travel separately (me to ski, she to go on small group tours) and together. Works well for us. She makes friends traveling and having an old grump like me along would cramp her style. And her skiing would definitely cramp my style.

  9. #4384
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    8,846
    Quote Originally Posted by old goat View Post
    My wife and I travel separately (me to ski, she to go on small group tours) and together. Works well for us. She makes friends traveling and having an old grump like me along would cramp her style. And her skiing would definitely cramp my style.
    Careful. Ms OG may get her groove back.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  10. #4385
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    1,234
    Quote Originally Posted by warthog View Post
    So does anyone else's wife tell them they are sick of planning trips, so you plan this one? Then they proceed to send you VRBO links before you can even start to look into it (mostly because you have other WORK to be doing as well) and bitch when you send them links that aren't exactly what they had in mind? Am I alone here? What do I do. If I do nothing, I am a lazy asshole. If I do something, it will be wrong, but at least I tried. Do I make the effort and then let her and the kids decide ultimately? I can sleep on the ground for all I care. HELP!!

    I feel like this is a test that I can't win. She wants to drive and be the passenger at the same time. Maybe it is just about the effort, not the end result. God these creatures are difficult to understand.
    I’m a fan of presenting 3 options. 1 being where/what you want to go/do (taking all participants into consideration, of course), and 2 completely unreasonable options that sit at either end of the spectrum. If the unreasonbles get picked, you ultimately have veto power because you did all the work.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  11. #4386
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Near Perimetr.
    Posts
    3,855
    Quote Originally Posted by warthog View Post
    So does anyone else's wife tell them they are sick of planning trips, so you plan this one?
    Au contraire, mon ami...
    Have been the designated Gruppenführer for marital/family/friend/skitrips for the last...well, ever. Cant think of single trip that I have not mostly/fully arranged.
    Got fed up few years ago with it. Tried for example relegate responsibilities to ski buddies and was like "week 8 is free, lets go somewhere, you arrange it".
    Ended up going alone and the rest of the muppets stayed home. Absolutely pathetic.

    I know that I am superb with arrangements (traveled for ~120 days/yr for 2 decades) but fuck me, now its your turn to carry the bag and call me for some extravagant trip to Kreplakistan.

    The floggings will continue until morale improves.

  12. #4387
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Shuswap Highlands
    Posts
    3,564
    My wife plans the food, her's and daughter's clothing and most of the entertainment detail, I make sure the truck/trailer/equipment is loaded up and ready to go.
    For larger travels, like trips to Maui and the like, its 90% all on her, and I avoid those trips as much as possible. She and daughter go and play in the sand, and I go play in the snow, and all are happy

  13. #4388
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Coast of the East Coast
    Posts
    7,355
    I do my own ski trips. This is just a quick trip to the mountains in GA to get away from the heat for a bit.
    I pretty much have the entertainment stuff dialed. Horseback riding, train ride, hiking- already scoped it all out. I have friends up in Ellijay, so I have the restaurants dialed too. This was pretty much just about the VRBO house, and she has pretty much taken that over. Again, I can sleep on a park bench and I am happy. I just don't understand the thinking. If you ask someone to plan it, and then immediately start planning it yourself, doesn't that teach the other person to NOT plan anything? Good to know I am not alone here.

    I even started a bookmark page with all the activities linked already, so I think I am in the clear.

  14. #4389
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    5,500

    I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

    Quote Originally Posted by warthog View Post
    So does anyone else's wife tell them they are sick of planning trips, so you plan this one? Then they proceed to send you VRBO links before you can even start to look into it (mostly because you have other WORK to be doing as well) and bitch when you send them links that aren't exactly what they had in mind? Am I alone here? What do I do. If I do nothing, I am a lazy asshole. If I do something, it will be wrong, but at least I tried. Do I make the effort and then let her and the kids decide ultimately? I can sleep on the ground for all I care. HELP!!

    I feel like this is a test that I can't win. She wants to drive and be the passenger at the same time. Maybe it is just about the effort, not the end result. God these creatures are difficult to understand.
    Have you not been married long?

    Seems to me like being the passenger and wanting to drive is typical wife behavior.

    Don’t say anything to her or you’ll get the :

    “Why don’t you want my input?”
    “I’m just trying ti help”
    Followed by looks of hurt feelings.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    Keystone is fucking lame. But, deadly.

  15. #4390
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    my own little world
    Posts
    4,286
    Quote Originally Posted by Kinnikinnick View Post
    Have you not been married long?

    Seems to me like being the passenger and wanting to drive is typical wife behavior.

    Don’t say anything to her or you’ll get the :

    “Why don’t you want my input?”
    “I’m just trying ti help”
    Followed by looks of hurt feelings.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    X2. This is like the second chapter of the handbook. It’s an informational section, there is no action to be taken, and no steps to follow. Accept what is, live that single life, or go full homo.
    focus.

  16. #4391
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    northern BC
    Posts
    26,612
    GF before last always complained her husband never listened ( actulay he didnt and he was often wrong)

    so I listened and let her plan the trips which she really liked to do, so we would end up with laminated flip cards for a bike tour in France it was great

    And the last GF ... is the exact opposite
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  17. #4392
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Near Perimetr.
    Posts
    3,855
    Quote Originally Posted by Kinnikinnick View Post
    Have you not been married long?

    Seems to me like being the passenger and wanting to drive is typical spouse behavior.
    Corrected for some contextual errors.

    Within any relationship there are "power plays" and "internal dynamics".
    How they unfold, that is for the relevant parties to sort out.

    In our contemporary society, we still seem to hold certain roles, be it as Men // Women // Whatnot.
    For most of the time, assuming a role can be straightforward and efficient as it is mutually beneficial, "You take care of X, I take care of Y".
    The amount of shit one gets after X or Y is done/not done/how its done is probably calculable, but I think it generally is net positive.
    One gets shit for done/not done/poorly done with the same amount that one dishes it to the other party involved, aka. The Spouse.

    I think the grand question is how we deal with the middle ground, not the "who will unclog the septic tank 04.00hrs" or "will you take this bottle of Chablis and go console our yoga teaching, slim body, neighbour in his/her heartbreak"? Stop being a doormat: acquire a taste, learn to formulate a coherent sentence, an opinion.
    Learn to say Yes, or No.


    One of the middle ground might be drapes and curtains: Beige or Latte? Double curtains with innermost layers acting as diffusers? Rollups (fuck no)? Full length or 4/5th's?

    The floggings will continue until morale improves.

  18. #4393
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Ogden
    Posts
    7,486
    I plan trips, my wife shows up.

  19. #4394
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Coast of the East Coast
    Posts
    7,355
    Quote Originally Posted by Kinnikinnick View Post
    Have you not been married long?

    Seems to me like being the passenger and wanting to drive is typical wife behavior.

    Don’t say anything to her or you’ll get the :

    “Why don’t you want my input?”
    “I’m just trying ti help”
    Followed by looks of hurt feelings.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    Married long enough to know the drill. I am just stubborn. This isn't totally new, but she went up a level in recent years. I am trying to adjust on the fly and learn from my peers.

  20. #4395
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Stumptown
    Posts
    7,814
    Quote Originally Posted by warthog View Post
    Married long enough to know the drill. I am just stubborn. This isn't totally new, but she went up a level in recent years. I am trying to adjust on the fly and learn from my peers.
    Honestly, you should say "thanks for finding these" and if one of them is reasonably acceptable just pick one and move on. Be stubborn to yourself, and if/when it turns into a debacle, keep the "I told you so's" to yourself, too.

  21. #4396
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Truckee & Nor Cal
    Posts
    14,096
    Quote Originally Posted by Meathelmet View Post
    Au contraire, mon ami...
    Have been the designated Gruppenführer for marital/family/friend/skitrips for the last...well, ever. Cant think of single trip that I have not mostly/fully arranged.
    Got fed up few years ago with it. Tried for example relegate responsibilities to ski buddies and was like "week 8 is free, lets go somewhere, you arrange it".
    Ended up going alone and the rest of the muppets stayed home. Absolutely pathetic.

    I know that I am superb with arrangements (traveled for ~120 days/yr for 2 decades) but fuck me, now its your turn to carry the bag and call me for some extravagant trip to Kreplakistan.
    I'm that guy too and it gets exhausting. Planned our group trip to Japan, the powder highway trip in CAN, Mexico golf trip, etc. On the other hand my friends all know to never fucking complain or after that it's on them. My ex-wife, however, was not this insightful.
    I ski 135 degree chutes switch to the road.

  22. #4397
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Treading Water
    Posts
    5,854
    Quote Originally Posted by warthog View Post
    I feel like this is a test that I can't win.
    Quoted For Posterity



    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    Lots of Cream, Lots of Sugar

  23. #4398
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    1,890
    I do enjoy this thread. I plan my trips, our trips, and am expected to assist with her trips. I don't mind.

    I honestly believe the biggest thing I have to deal with is the filter she seems to NOT have before saying something. That filter being, is this issue really a big deal and worth bringing up? I absolutely have that filter. (there is probably an element of not really caring about some things) Perhaps my filter is born out of the fact she does not take well to criticism on how something was done, or was not done. She however, seems to bring up every little small thing she does not think is right. Most of the time I can say yeah, woops, or sorry, or whatever, and we move along, but sometimes that's not enough. Sometimes it goes down the path of well, don't say sorry, just don't do it! (I seem to recall my mom saying this kind of BS) What I find incredibly interesting, many times what she's got an issue with, while really not a big deal, is something she has done VERY recently, or right after complaining to me. When the latter is done, I have a difficult internal conflict with myself. Can I use the filter, and let it go, or do I say something to "prove" that she does it too? If the latter, not well received.

    Anyway...I do think covid and working from home with everyone for the last almost two years does not help the above...

  24. #4399
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    8,145

  25. #4400
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Dystopia
    Posts
    16,083
    My wife plans most trips.
    I hold veto power but rarely need to use it.
    I like it this way. I married a travel agent and concierge.

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