I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[AK47bp]

god’s one sick bastard for creating these hot manipulative creatures. Superior to men in most ways other than loading a dishwasher.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve taken a pretty impressive dump from time to time but I’m not spitting out a living human from my body.


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[BCMtnHound]

Feels both empowering and frustrating to know I exist in two places at once - flesh me and the one that exists in my wife’s head. And yes, she certainly has conversations with ephemeral me and assumes flesh me was a part of the discussion. I don’t mind hearing the positive things ephemeral me has said on my behalf, it’s the negative stuff that flesh me knows better to keep shut about that ephemeral me says that is confounding.

Or perhaps both versions of me is just living as a simulation in my wife’s head, on more than one channel/bandwidth. That probably makes more sense actually.

[dan_pdx]

I've tried pretending I can't hear anything said from another room. I don't have to pretend much: about 90% of the time all I know is that something was said, but I have no idea what the content was. Doesn't seem to have any impact though

[californiagrown]

I've tried pretending I can't hear anything said from another room. I don't have to pretend much: about 90% of the time all I know is that something was said, but I have no idea what the content was. Doesn't seem to have any impact though

My wife will keep honking my one syllable name like a canadian goose until i come into the room she is in, and then she will get mad at me for not answering her sooner.

[zion zig zag]

We were setting up a river shuttle with friends a few weekends ago and after the third time of her asking me why we weren't going to point 'A' I said, "I don't think you understand how a shuttle works." This went over about like you'd expect with a pretty stern lecture to not be an asshole, etc.

This past weekend she was doing the same shuttle with her girlfriends and I got at least four phone calls asking where she should put in/take out, where to go first, who picks up who and one panicked call where she asked me to look at her location on the map and help her find the take out. I made no mention of our previous conversation about her lack of shuttle understanding.

[m2711c]

[Dantheman]

Attachment 496705

No lies told.


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She laffed hard at this.

[XXX-er]

We were setting up a river shuttle with friends a few weekends ago and after the third time of her asking me why we weren't going to point 'A' I said, "I don't think you understand how a shuttle works." This went over about like you'd expect with a pretty stern lecture to not be an asshole, etc.

This past weekend she was doing the same shuttle with her girlfriends and I got at least four phone calls asking where she should put in/take out, where to go first, who picks up who and one panicked call where she asked me to look at her location on the map and help her find the take out. I made no mention of our previous conversation about her lack of shuttle understanding.

Shuttle logic is an oxymoran and as a shuttle professional which means I don't wana fuck you I just want cash, i've seen smart people fuck it up

last really good one was senior partner from a big Seattle law firm, I meet buddy at the takeout but I don't see his fishing floaty boat so I ask " hey man uh where is yer boat ? "

its already up there sez the legal eagle so i ask why did you already do the shuttle cuz we gotta go up there now ?

buddy the lawyer thinks about it for 10 sec and laughs as he realizes he duplicated the shuttle

so i said to legal bro " the problem is TOO much education, if had 10yr olds planning these shuttles there would be no problem "

i think i mighta still got a tip

[old goat]

Some of the best advice I ever got is that the "I told you" "No you didn't" argument is unwinnable on both sides so don't even go there. Now if I could get my wife to buy in. My assumption is that when I think I told her something I'm right about half the time and the same for her. She's still in the 100%/0% frame of mind.

[gaijin]

"If it's not in my calendar, it's not in my schedule and we didn't agree to it. Make sure you see me put it in my calendar when we discuss it."

I had to repeat that maybe 3 times until it clicked and she now understands. "Pull out your phone and put this in your calendar."

I need a precursor to "Listen to me." The above seems to be my cue to listen.

[frorider]

Some of the best advice I ever got is that the "I told you" "No you didn't" argument is unwinnable on both sides so don't even go there. Now if I could get my wife to buy in. My assumption is that when I think I told her something I'm right about half the time and the same for her. She's still in the 100%/0% frame of mind.

Somebody old must’ve told you that. Most couples I know text each other while at work etc, so much of the time there is in fact a written record. Hell even if I’m in the next room she’ll text ‘get some eggs when you do that beer run please’.

But maybe some couples like to have endless ‘you didn’t tell me’ ‘yes I did’ arguments?

[frorider]

On a related note I guess, my boomer parents are finally writing shit down now that my dad’s short term memory is terrible. Got them a whiteboard, works great for helping them keep track of doc appts, social engagements etc. in a visible location.

[XXX-er]

had a GF who's ex would baffle her with BS so I told her just don't talk to him EVER

send an e-mail which gave her a chance to think about it whereas he was still just doing the same thing running off at the mouth but on the screen

so after she did that she won all the arguments cuz he wasnt as smart as he thot and he tended to shoot himself in the foot

[plugboots]

Most couples I know text each other while at work etc, so much of the time there is in fact a written record. Hell even if I’m in the next room she’ll text

We give each other shit about this. It’s called the plugboots “do it now” principal. If you think about it, do it now, or you’re gonna forget and there’s gonna be an argument.
Fuck! She just reminded me to book my flights for Chicago to visit my Mom.

[old goat]

Somebody old must’ve told you that. Most couples I know text each other while at work etc, so much of the time there is in fact a written record. Hell even if I’m in the next room she’ll text ‘get some eggs when you do that beer run please’.

But maybe some couples like to have endless ‘you didn’t tell me’ ‘yes I did’ arguments?

That's not the kind of stuff that generates significant arguments. Writing down everything you discuss seems like an awfully tedious way to live, compared to having some tolerance and patience when memories differ.

[XXX-er]

That's not the kind of stuff that generates significant arguments. Writing down everything you discuss seems like an awfully tedious way to live, compared to having some tolerance and patience when memories differ.

AND Probably a waste of time cuz your wife doesnt read her e-mails anyway

[old goat]

AND Probably a waste of time cuz your wife doesnt read her e-mails anyway

Or her emails. Or her missed calls. Or her voicemails.Or her calendar (paper, not digital) Or the shopping list. Or the instructions that come with anything.

[riser4]

Or her emails. Or her missed calls. Or her voicemails.Or her calendar (paper, not digital) Or the shopping list. Or the instructions that come with anything.

Vibes.

[lifelinksplit]

I try not to post here cause it's definitely me being an idiot most of the time and she was doing something long overdue. But my wife went to drain the hot tub with a pump, all good. Drained and ready to clean. 2days of mid to high 90 degree weather later I go out back where the hot tub is. Well I'm also a hillbilly so we have a chest freezer on the back covered porch. It has a short cord so it's connected with an extension cord(yeah yeah). Guess what the wife used to run the pump? She says she grabbed the cord but didn't feel anything so thought it wasn't plugged into anything....

Oh well at least I only had a little meat and not a half cow or deer in there.

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[Core Shot]

[waveshello]

I try not to post here cause it's definitely me being an idiot most of the time and she was doing something long overdue. But my wife went to drain the hot tub with a pump, all good. Drained and ready to clean. 2days of mid to high 90 degree weather later I go out back where the hot tub is. Well I'm also a hillbilly so we have a chest freezer on the back covered porch. It has a short cord so it's connected with an extension cord(yeah yeah). Guess what the wife used to run the pump? She says she grabbed the cord but didn't feel anything so thought it wasn't plugged into anything....

Oh well at least I only had a little meat and not a half cow or deer in there.

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Good thing it was two days, not two weeks.

[liv2ski]

My wife will keep honking my one syllable name like a canadian goose until i come into the room she is in, and then she will get mad at me for not answering her sooner.

Man, I really hate that. I have asked my wife more times than I can remember to get off her lazy ass and come talk to me. Why do I always have to come to her when she yells my name?

[dan_pdx]

Man, I really hate that. I have asked my wife more times than I can remember to get off her lazy ass and come talk to me. Why do I always have to come to her when she yells my name?

Pretend you can't hear it, report back on your results

[booner]

My wife is always confused with the simplest of tasks.

We're meeting someone for dinner tomorrow...after something we have that ends at 7 and is about 5-10 minutes away. All of it right by our house...not some unfamiliar route.

Her on the phone...
"Ok we'll be there at 7!"

No we won't...we can't leave till 7 (me from the sidelines)

"Oh ok...we'll be there at 730!"



Holy fuck

[nickwm21]

How hard it is to look in the fridge and cabinet to see if already have said item before adding it to the grocery list?

This weeks grocery run resulted in these duplicates:
- red curry paste
- curry powder
- ketchup
- Dijon
- capers
- thyme
- cumin
- green onions
- turmeric
- hoisin
- cinnamon


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