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  1. #5001
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Planning an exit
    Posts
    5,808
    Quote Originally Posted by John_B View Post
    My wife just borrowed my car battery jumper pack to go jump a friend's car and came back and said "it didn't work".

    Now I'm the asshole for asking her a few questions to try to figure out what the issue was and if my jumper pack is busted.
    Oh man, those situations are my favorite. "Were you using it properly? Did you troubleshoot your issue or just assume that it doesn't work?"

  2. #5002
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    17,743
    I like it when it is hooked up backwards and fries the car.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  3. #5003
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    8,436
    Go ahead, tell her that's what she did, see what happens.

  4. #5004
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    2,269
    Quote Originally Posted by liv2ski View Post
    I like it when it is hooked up backwards and fries the car.
    Fortunately she is plenty savvy to then jump the car using cables but the lack of diagnostics on my damn jumper pack is killing me.

  5. #5005
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Where the sheets have no stains
    Posts
    19,814
    I was told you can gauge the power by touching your tongue to both clamps.
    I have been in this State for 30 years and I am willing to admit that I am part of the problem.

    "Happiest years of my life were earning < $8.00 and hour, collecting unemployment every spring and fall, no car, no debt and no responsibilities. 1984-1990 Park City UT"

  6. #5006
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    on the edge
    Posts
    6,558

    I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

    My favorite time of year when I put the tree up and ask for the wife's eye.

    "Is it straight?"...yep

    "Are you sure?"...ooohh yeah it's definitely perfectly straight

    "Perfectly straight, you're sure?"...100% babe! (tree listing at 10 degrees to port side)

    *tightens it up

    "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck"
    If it's green, smoke it...if it's pink, poke it

    BUY THESE------> 193 iM 103 - $50 https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...d.php?t=179797

  7. #5007
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Joisey
    Posts
    2,646
    Quote Originally Posted by SB View Post
    Man i love watching re runs of Rat Patrol.

    Never was into pickles.
    Loved that show, but saw reruns recently and laughed at the ridiculosity. Are they still chasing that Rommel dude?

  8. #5008
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    8,436
    They are over in Rogue Heroes. Check it out.

  9. #5009
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Posts
    61
    This is from a while ago, but I like it.

    My wife had a Honda Accord, I was selling it for her. I had previously sold her Honda Civic.

    I work out a deal and on the way to exchange it I am rounding up all the stuff, mainly keys.

    She hands me a bunch of keys, I ask "why so many?"

    "Oh one of them is for the Civic, when you sold the Civic you gave them one of my Accord keys and I had to buy a new one."

    This is all news to me. Not only that, I'm 100% sure it's not true.

    After some careful questioning I discovered that her remote entry stopped working at around the same time we sold her old car. Instead of doing any diagnosis, she worked it out that I had mixed up the keys and gave away the wrong one. So, of course, she went to the dealer and spent 250$ on a new key.

    I took the key to the "civic", walked outside, opened up the car door and started the Accord with it. The battery had simply died.

    The new owner appreciated that he had 4 sets of keys to the car.

  10. #5010
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    northern BC
    Posts
    28,491
    do you want to be right or do you want to be happy ?
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  11. #5011
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Among Greatness All Around
    Posts
    6,206
    Quote Originally Posted by ironhippy View Post
    This is from a while ago, but I like it.

    My wife had a Honda Accord, I was selling it for her. I had previously sold her Honda Civic.

    I work out a deal and on the way to exchange it I am rounding up all the stuff, mainly keys.

    She hands me a bunch of keys, I ask "why so many?"

    "Oh one of them is for the Civic, when you sold the Civic you gave them one of my Accord keys and I had to buy a new one."

    This is all news to me. Not only that, I'm 100% sure it's not true.

    After some careful questioning I discovered that her remote entry stopped working at around the same time we sold her old car. Instead of doing any diagnosis, she worked it out that I had mixed up the keys and gave away the wrong one. So, of course, she went to the dealer and spent 250$ on a new key.

    I took the key to the "civic", walked outside, opened up the car door and started the Accord with it. The battery had simply died.

    The new owner appreciated that he had 4 sets of keys to the car.
    Could had been worst- she could have mixed up the remotes when the sale happened and been carrying the old remote for the Civic all this time and the new owner could had been carrying her at the time new Accord remote and not her old Civic remote (if they are not the same type and style or would have not been compatible)...

  12. #5012
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    the Low Sierra
    Posts
    16,777
    she’s probably stealing cars
    I didn't believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.

  13. #5013
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Suckramento
    Posts
    20,939
    Quote Originally Posted by JongDoe View Post
    Loved that show, but saw reruns recently and laughed at the ridiculosity. Are they still chasing that Rommel dude?
    He had that cool hat
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  14. #5014
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Access to Granlibakken
    Posts
    10,403
    Ironhippy, the “ After some careful questioning” bit had me on the edge of my seat.

    After carefully removing the log pinning down the injured mountain lion…

  15. #5015
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Bottom feeding
    Posts
    10,023
    Quote Originally Posted by frorider View Post
    Ironhippy, the “ After some careful questioning” bit had me on the edge of my seat.

    After carefully removing the log pinning down the injured mountain lion…
    Or:
    Click image for larger version. 

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    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

  16. #5016
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Southeast New York
    Posts
    10,412
    Quote Originally Posted by PB View Post
    Go ahead, tell her that's what she did, see what happens.
    Don't take this advice

  17. #5017
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    2,191
    Question: do any of you people ever celebrate someone else's anniversary?

    Latest MIL text last night "hey it's [sister-in-law's] 25th anniversary in a couple weeks do you want to contribute to a gift"
    Like, no I don't. I don't celebrate other people's anniversaries. If they have a party or whatever and invite me then yeah, but otherwise that's their business and has nothing to do with me. I usually call the dude and tell him happy anniversary on the phone but that's only because it's the same day as my birthday so he wishes me happy birthday and it's funny. But I have never ever cared about anyone else's anniversary; I have a hard enough time remembering my own.

  18. #5018
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Tejas
    Posts
    10,308
    Who else is this true for?

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  19. #5019
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    I can still smell Poutine.
    Posts
    20,789
    Quote Originally Posted by MontuckyFried View Post
    Who else is this true for?

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    We both try to be the first pic but also both end up being the second, usually in amusing accidental ways, like stepping on the cat or knocking something over while trying to ninja. We are both equally guilty.

  20. #5020
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Truckee & Nor Cal
    Posts
    14,941
    Quote Originally Posted by paulster2626 View Post
    Question: do any of you people ever celebrate someone else's anniversary?

    Latest MIL text last night "hey it's [sister-in-law's] 25th anniversary in a couple weeks do you want to contribute to a gift"
    Like, no I don't. I don't celebrate other people's anniversaries. If they have a party or whatever and invite me then yeah, but otherwise that's their business and has nothing to do with me. I usually call the dude and tell him happy anniversary on the phone but that's only because it's the same day as my birthday so he wishes me happy birthday and it's funny. But I have never ever cared about anyone else's anniversary; I have a hard enough time remembering my own.
    Yeah, that's just strange... I mean, I can see parents celebrating their kids' anniversary but beyond that the concept seems ridiculous.
    I ski 135 degree chutes switch to the road.

  21. #5021
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    2,346
    Quote Originally Posted by MontuckyFried View Post
    Who else is this true for?

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    Yep, rings true for sure. Though I think my wife is the ninja too bc she usually likes to leave shit in the walkway or even worse leaving a dresser drawer open for me to slam my shin into.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  22. #5022
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Tejas
    Posts
    10,308
    Quote Originally Posted by TahoeJ View Post
    Yeah, that's just strange... I mean, I can see parents celebrating their kids' anniversary but beyond that the concept seems ridiculous.
    Agreed. I absolutely do not care if anybody else cares about my anniversary. As long as I remember it, that's all that matters, and I've even failed a time or two at that. What's weird though is when people get all butthurtz when you don't make a big deal about theirs. My mom, for example. She gets super hurt when her kids don't call to say happy anniversary, but on the flipside, it's not like she's ever called us to do the same. Same with Mother's Day. The onus is always on US for some reason. If we don't call, it's not like we receive a call from her. That's gotta be some kinda narcissistic or borderline personality crap when other people expect you to make a huge deal about stuff like that. Especially when they don't reciprocate. Not that we want them to or anything. Some strange behavior if you ask me.

  23. #5023
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Tejas
    Posts
    10,308
    Quote Originally Posted by VTskibum View Post
    Yep, rings true for sure. Though I think my wife is the ninja too bc she usually likes to leave shit in the walkway or even worse leaving a dresser drawer open for me to slam my shin into.
    Haha. YES!!! Whether it's a cabinet door right at my head's height or her closet door that I run into in the dark, she definitely leaves an obstacle course for me to clear. And if I DO run into said door, I'll somehow manage to whisper (instead of yell) "sunnuva!" and she'll still get mad at me for waking her. But every time she has to get ready before me, she's leaving that closet light on, she's loudly slamming every possible bathroom cabinet door, hurling curling irons onto the counter or something. She loud AF. Oh, but we DARE not wake ye sleeping dragons, right?

    The meme made me laugh, but it's also comforting to know it's a universal thing and not just her. She blames it on women's maternal instincts and that's why they're woken up at the slightest noise. Too bad they gotta to the other extreme and be super rude to the rest of the house if they're the first one's up. It's a thing.

  24. #5024
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    In rain shadow of the Sierra CC,NV
    Posts
    3,688
    Quote Originally Posted by MontuckyFried View Post
    Especially when they don't reciprocate. Not that we want them to or anything..
    Well. She did squirt you out, raise you, cook your meals, and whatnot. So there is that...



    Sent from my SM-G950U1 using TGR Forums mobile app

    ...Remember, those who think Global Warming is Fake, also think that Adam & Eve were Real...

  25. #5025
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    In a van... down by the river
    Posts
    10,844
    Quote Originally Posted by MontuckyFried View Post
    Who else is this true for?

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    <raises hand>


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