I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[concretejungle]

Let’s get this thread back on track. Two car garage and I’ve graciously donated my half to bikes and outdoor equipment with some amount of clean floor space to maneuver. Partner keeps parking further from her side and damn near right in the middle so the door hits her car. I’m sure it’ll happen soon enough.

I put the sheets in the dryer and go to work when she was home today. I get home at 10:30 and the bed isn’t made. Fine, whatever. The sheets were still wet since she hadn’t checked on them. Smdh. At least the sink isn’t full of dishes.


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[wooley12]

Five days out from our 25th anniversary, how the fuck did that happen?
Holy Shit boys.

Congrats. Plans? My wife wanted an Alaska cruise this year for our golden and I dodged that bullet. Now she's sending me links to pop up campers.

Enjoy reading this thread. I could post 2x a day and not run out of material for a month, maybe longer.

[Name Redacted]

Wife: "Why is our house always so dusty? Will you dust today while I'm at work?"
Also Wife: "We should open every window in the house on this glorious day and feel the mountain breeze!"

Me: *Sits in corner with a box of tissues and popping Claritin like it is candy*

[concretejungle]

I take the dishes thing back. There’s a baking dish and serving spoon in the microwave.


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[iceman]

If there are two versions of something available in the grocery store, and one is worse than the other, you can count on my wife to buy that one. It's not on purpose, she just doesn't read the labels. I don't know why. But the amount of fat-free sour cream (she bought that one yesterday), "Lite" mayonnaise and other diet, lite, low-sodium, fat-free and other questionable products she has bought, and we have subsequently wasted, is pretty stunning. She doesn't like them either. I dunno.

[JongDoe]

Well it sounds healthy when she's in the store, but then she realizes the fat, salt, sugar are what makes it taste good, so... My wife gets all that crap also, but actually uses it. I get the real stuff for myself.

[XXX-er]

you are not a skinny AZN so read the white label

1st cuz it tells you portion size

2nd it tells you sugar & salt level

so pick the lowest levels that you will still eat

otherwise there is no point in buying a product to thro it out

[oftpiste]

or.....an alternate version....

If there are two versions of something available in the grocery store, and one is more expensive than the other, you can count on my wife to buy that one. It's not on purpose, she just doesn't read the price tag. I don't know why. The bags were always full of crazy expensive stuff that could have been bought way more cheaply. She'd have no idea what she [paid for anything

[oftpiste]

Here's another vent. Can I still post here since I don't have a wife anymore?

The second floor of my house is a "half story". Two beds and a bath under a pitched roof was where my Things grew up, full height in the center, tapering to 4' walls. There are 4 attic-style storage spaces each with its own door, probably 10x15 each.

I set out to clean them out. I've only been in one of them in years because that's where the Christmas stuff lives, and every year I look at all the boxes of shit in there. Finally got after the chore a couple weeks ago. I got that first one cleaned out and opened the others one by one. What I didn't realize was that all 4 of these spaces were FILLED with boxes, tubs, and bags of disorganized, dusty crap.

Apparently the ex, doing what she called 'cleaning', would go up to the kids rooms every so often and simply heave anything she didn't want to look at anymore into some random vessel and shove it into these spaces until nothing more would fit. Old toys, random kids clothes, her family crap, pre-school artwork, 60 lbs. (seriously) of LEGO pieces. And so much more. I have to go through every bag, box, bin to see what's worth keeping, donating, tossing, then bag up the donations and trash, and try to organize what should be kept for the boyz.

I'm about 3/4 of the way done. It's overwhelming and my truck is literally stuffed to the ceiling with bags to go to Goodwill when the lines aren't 4 hours long. And more bags and boxes are standing by for when it's empty again. Then I'm gonna have to hire a cargo van to take all her stuff to her place which will likely turn into some kind of drama that I'll have to deal with.

I guess it's the price I have to pay for not having to deal any more with the other funny shit people have written about in here. Prolly with it!

[Core Shot]

Here's another vent. Can I still post here since I don't have a wife anymore?

The second floor of my house is a "half story". Two beds and a bath under a pitched roof was where my Things grew up, full height in the center, tapering to 4' walls. There are 4 attic-style storage spaces each with its own door, probably 10x15 each.

I set out to clean them out. I've only been in one of them in years because that's where the Christmas stuff lives, and every year I look at all the boxes of shit in there. Finally got after the chore a couple weeks ago. I got that first one cleaned out and opened the others one by one. What I didn't realize was that all 4 of these spaces were FILLED with boxes, tubs, and bags of disorganized, dusty crap.

Apparently the ex, doing what she called 'cleaning', would go up to the kids rooms every so often and simply heave anything she didn't want to look at anymore into some random vessel and shove it into these spaces until nothing more would fit. Old toys, random kids clothes, her family crap, pre-school artwork, 60 lbs. (seriously) of LEGO pieces. And so much more. I have to go through every bag, box, bin to see what's worth keeping, donating, tossing, then bag up the donations and trash, and try to organize what should be kept for the boyz.

I'm about 3/4 of the way done. It's overwhelming and my truck is literally stuffed to the ceiling with bags to go to Goodwill when the lines aren't 4 hours long. And more bags and boxes are standing by for when it's empty again. Then I'm gonna have to hire a cargo van to take all her stuff to her place which will likely turn into some kind of drama that I'll have to deal with.

I guess it's the price I have to pay for not having to deal any more with the other funny shit people have written about in here. Prolly with it!

Fucking same deal here.
She boxes and bags shit for me to store In a commercial building I own.
According to her it dis a fucking peared.

I asked for years can I throw that shit out?
Finally said fuck it and hauled two truckloads to goodwill.
There’s one more truckload left. Fuck.

[XXX-er]

shedding all that stuff is cathartic, if you two had been able to keep up the Cleaveresque facade all that shit would be there when the boys come home from college but that ship has sailed

so don't be afraid to just cut deep and thro shit out

its all junt nobody has looked at in years

[oftpiste]

It is, and I am.

The Things have gone through a lot of it. Very little is of interest to them. And after having to clean out my mother's house after she passed (and she was fairly well organized and had purged during a move) the last thing I want the guys to have to do is sift through mountains of nothing and do this chore after I croak.

The tricky bit is her stuff, and kids stuff she probably wants but isn't important to me (or them). I don't wanna be a dick, but I have a feeling she'll find something to complain about whether I under edit or over edit. So under is the strategy for her shit.

shedding all that stuff is cathartic, if you two had been able to keep up the Cleaveresque facade all that shit would be there when the boys come home from college but that ship has sailed

so don't be afraid to just cut deep and thro shit out

its all junt nobody has looked at in years

[Thaleia]

"Lite" mayonnaise .

The trick with the 50% less fat mayo is to use twice as much of it!

[Name Redacted]

My wife buys veganaise. It isn't even in a squeeze bottle. Now I just eat mustard on my sammiches.

[Diamond Joe]

"Veganaise"???? thats a thing?

[Ted Striker]

That's like dry water.

[Name Redacted]

"Veganaise"???? thats a thing?

Yep. You sounds surprised.



To be honest, she has gotten to be pretty good at making vegan meals. She isn't vegan, but we eat vegan meals a few times a week. Sometimes I'll cook a steak or a park chop to go along with them.

[Core Shot]

"Vaginaise"???? thats a thing?

It’s like Santorum
But more hetero

[iceman]

Better than Vaginaise I guess. Probably.

[m2711c]

you clearly have not tried Vaginaise.... tis the nectar of the gods.















fact.

[RootSkier]

Vegenaise is actually fine.

[Bunion 2020]

60 lbs. (seriously) of LEGO pieces

=$$$$

Hope you did not toss those.

[oftpiste]

My plan was to send them back to LEGO. They have a program where they pay for your shipping, then donate to needy folks. Is there actually away to monetize them without a huge hassle?

=$$$$

Hope you did not toss those.

[iceman]

She thinks she's "multitasking" and is proud of it but to me she's just not getting a bunch of different things done all at the same time.

[powdrhound]

My wife buys veganaise. It isn't even in a squeeze bottle. Now I just eat mustard on my sammiches.

The store will sell it to you. Buy some.