I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

**skifishbum** · 08-05-2021, 07:13 AM

Originally Posted by muted reborn

it is funny, I will give credit here. That said....it's also a dumb boomer joke. For those who think women are all dumb, jokes on you guys actually for marrying someone with the brain of a gerbil. There are a million functional, smart competent women out there, too bad they aren't interested in you. If i can marry one, I thought ANYONE could.

Either way though smart or dumb: marriage is hard. hence this thread.

**riser4** · 08-05-2021, 07:59 AM

Originally Posted by Core Shot

Well duh.

When a roast comes out of the oven it needs to rest.

Before you sexually assault it.

Just remember, 21 ejaculations per month. Got to get it where you can find it. Funny how that lines up against the common 28 day female cycle.

**fomofo** · 08-05-2021, 12:04 PM

Originally Posted by skifishbum

I happened upon a very interesting Danish film last night that would seem to agree with Mr. Palmer.

https://kanopy.com/video/horrible-woman

Would make a good double bill with Neil LaBute's The Shape of Things

Face it, we're just putty in their hands.

If we're lucky.

**AK47bp** · 08-05-2021, 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by riser3

Just remember, 21 ejaculations per month. Got to get it where you can find it. Funny how that lines up against the common 28 day female cycle.

I feel like 21 nuts a month results in a few things.

1. Pregnancies
2. Abortions
3. Porn addictions
4. Partner with hotdog hallway syndrome
4. Massive chaffing
5. Popeye forearm
6. Blisters
7. Being labeled a pervert
And
8. Reduced prostate cancer.

Worth it

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**Core Shot** · 08-05-2021, 04:00 PM

Forget the prostrate

I can get Popeye forearms?

Excuse me while I nut

**AK47bp** · 08-05-2021, 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by Core Shot

Forget the prostrate

I can get Popeye forearms?

Excuse me while I nut

You can also go blind so whack lightly.

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**m2711c** · 08-05-2021, 05:14 PM

I have to admit that the hairy palms feel pretty sweet at this point in life….

**AK47bp** · 08-05-2021, 05:32 PM

Maybe I can use my HSA money to buy one of those blowjob machines and claim it as a cancer preventative device.

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**riser4** · 08-05-2021, 05:50 PM

Originally Posted by AK47bp

Maybe I can use my HSA money to buy one of those blowjob machines and claim it as a cancer preventative device.

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Winning! Or how about hookers and blow? They should allow that as well

**Nobody Famous** · 08-05-2021, 07:47 PM

Originally Posted by AK47bp

4. Partner with hotdog hallway syndrome

I had to look that up. Urban Dict.

**krp8128** · 08-05-2021, 08:38 PM

Originally Posted by Nobody Famous

I had to look that up. Urban Dict.

Don't get out much, do you?

**TahoeJ** · 08-05-2021, 10:39 PM

So I was one of those husbands / boyfriends who would open the fridge staring right at something and couldn’t find it. Got divorced and now it never happens. Ask me why? I think you might know. Let’s just say I was the organized one in the relationship. It’s a hell of a lot easier to find the butter when it’s in the exact designated slot in the fridge specifically for the butter. :-)

Obviously we have plenty of our own dumb shit, but that one just dawned upon me.

**ntblanks** · 08-05-2021, 10:50 PM

Originally Posted by TahoeJ

So I was one of those husbands / boyfriends who would open the fridge staring right at something and couldn’t find it. .... Ask me why? I think you might know.

went blind getting your 21 monthly?

**neufox47** · 08-05-2021, 10:52 PM

Originally Posted by AK47bp

Maybe I can use my HSA money to buy one of those blowjob machines and claim it as a cancer preventative device.

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I lold.

21 times huh, so obviously 30+ is better right? Right!?

**TahoeJ** · 08-05-2021, 10:58 PM

Originally Posted by ntblanks

went blind getting your 21 monthly?

I wish it had been a better ratio. Heh.

**Nobody Famous** · 08-07-2021, 06:48 PM

Originally Posted by krp8128

Don't get out much, do you?

Evidently not.

I want to say something about ladies who have this problem and the men who love them, but I can't put the words together.

**HD333** · 08-09-2021, 08:19 AM

Originally Posted by Nobody Famous

I had to look that up. Urban Dict.

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**paulster2626** · 08-09-2021, 10:24 AM

Originally Posted by TahoeJ

So I was one of those husbands / boyfriends who would open the fridge staring right at something and couldn’t find it. Got divorced and now it never happens. Ask me why? I think you might know. Let’s just say I was the organized one in the relationship. It’s a hell of a lot easier to find the butter when it’s in the exact designated slot in the fridge specifically for the butter. :-)

Obviously we have plenty of our own dumb shit, but that one just dawned upon me.

What kind of monster keeps butter in the fridge?

You are definitely on to something. Yeah I can't find the ketchup because it's never where it's supposed to be - aka hanging out with all the other 'main' condiments. Where I put it back every. goddamn. time. If we ever move I'm getting his/her fridges.

**dan_pdx** · 08-09-2021, 11:13 AM

Originally Posted by paulster2626

What kind of monster keeps butter in the fridge?

We discovered the joys of room temperature butter a few years ago, but it doesn't work in the summer, when our house gets into the mid / high 70s. Great the rest of the year though.

**JayPowHound** · 08-09-2021, 11:23 AM

We do both. Box in the fridge but one stick in a container on the counter for easy spreading. Only been running that setup for a few years and can't believe we didn't start it sooner!

**Salvelinusconfluentus** · 08-09-2021, 11:25 AM

Originally Posted by HD333

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You do realize that sex does not "stetch out" the vagina, right? And saying so is basically telling women to withhold sex to maintain their value?

Imagine women saying gross, dude has fucked so many women his dick has been squished too many times and is now too small. What a gross slutty man.

**AK47bp** · 08-09-2021, 11:36 AM

Originally Posted by Salvelinusconfluentus

You do realize that sex does not "stetch out" the vagina, right? And saying so is basically telling women to withhold sex to maintain their value?

Imagine women saying gross, dude has fucked so many women his dick has been squished too many times and is now too small. What a gross slutty man.

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**bagtagley** · 08-09-2021, 11:38 AM

Originally Posted by dan_pdx

We discovered the joys of room temperature butter a few years ago, but it doesn't work in the summer, when our house gets into the mid / high 70s. Great the rest of the year though.

Try a French butter dish. We have the same problem in the summer without the dish, but the water keeps it cool enough to keep it from melting. Also keeps the butter a lot more fresh.

**seano732** · 08-09-2021, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by Salvelinusconfluentus

You do realize that sex does not "stetch out" the vagina, right? And saying so is basically telling women to withhold sex to maintain their value?

Imagine women saying gross, dude has fucked so many women his dick has been squished too many times and is now too small. What a gross slutty man.

JFC when will winter come……GFYS, JONG……

**old goat** · 08-09-2021, 01:23 PM

Originally Posted by paulster2626

What kind of monster keeps butter in the fridge?

You are definitely on to something. Yeah I can't find the ketchup because it's never where it's supposed to be - aka hanging out with all the other 'main' condiments. Where I put it back every. goddamn. time. If we ever move I'm getting his/her fridges.

Wait, do I misunderstand or do you put ketchup in the refrigerator. That would be totally insane. (I do have to confess though that I keep old fashioned mustard in the cupboard and Dijon mustard in the fridge. Is there a reason I do that?)