I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[Mustonen]

We use a can opener in our kitchen maybe a few times a year around the holidays. Is it a generational thing….?

[babybear]

A well placed, "Calm Down" works wonders.

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/f3b32bc...201c0e52cc/gif

[BCMtnHound]

I don't want a can opener that you have to watch a video to use.

And someone needs to tell that woman that we don't them to calm down to get them to calm down.

I did not watch the video, but that opener looks like one that cuts the side rather than the top of a can, which I fully endorse. We are on our second (in 20yrs of use) starfrit brand opener.

[BCMtnHound]

My wife dropped her keys down the stormdrain in the middle of a pissing rainstorm last weekend. When i came to get her i was on the phone with public works to see if they could pull some downstream manhole lids for me so i could check and she overheard me bullshitting about having designed that storm system a few years back.

It is now my fault that my poorly designed storm system swallowed up the keys to her car/office/mailbox/whatever else. Should have seen that coming. damnit.

Damn, this is absolutely perfect for this thread. Kudos!

[Flounder]

I’ve always had what I thought was an irrational fear of dropping my keys down a storm drain. I will not take keys out of my pocket anywhere near a drain and I pay attention when I park to avoid having to be near one. My wife thinks I’m nuts, although there are more reasons for that than my drainophibia. Guess that fear isn’t so irrational.

[J. Barron DeJong]

When I proposed to my wife she nearly smacked the ring out of my hand right next to a storm drain.

[DBdude]

We use a can opener in our kitchen maybe a few times a year around the holidays. Is it a generational thing….?

pasta and clams made from chopped clams, you only eat a couple times of the year?

[MakersTeleMark]

pasta and clams made from chopped clams, you only eat a couple times of the year?

He prefers fresh clam, don't you?

[Boissal]

When I proposed to my wife she nearly smacked the ring out of my hand right next to a storm drain.

When I proposed to Ms Boissal we were on top of Bloody Mtn in the Sierras. She knew it was coming but still got all flustered, there was some trembling of the hand as I tried to put the ring on her finger, and I dropped it. In the talus that makes up the top of the peak. I was standing there barefoot (spring day, super hot slog to get up there, had to get out of the ski boots) and stupidly tried to catch the ring on top of my foot. I missed (obviously) but perfectly nailed a rock (obviously) and cracked my big toe nail straight down the middle all the way to the cuticle.
It took us a couple of panicked minutes to find it. Once it was secure on her finger Ms Boissal expressed annoyance at the fact that her future husband is clumsy as fuck (true) and dumb enough to kick rocks barefoot before skiing/hiking 5000' back to the car (also true).

Edit: yes, should have gone down on one knee to propose. I was trying to avoid kneeling down in talus which would have been a lot less painful in the end...

[J. Barron DeJong]

It’s ‘the Sierra’, sir.

[TurxSki]

It’s ‘the Sierra’, sir.

Its the Sierra Nevada, i think you'll find.

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using TGR Forums mobile app

[gaijin]

Sierras are mountains. Sierra is a girl. ‘The’ Sierra is that one girl who everybody here knows. Yeah- that girl.

Married. Kids. Grand Cherokee. Kinda like a soccer mom. Hasn’t worked a day in her life. Is on anti-depressants. Seems like she could use a drink, but never drinks. And can’t cook worth a damn.

The husband is pissed off, too. He doesn’t actually love his wife and all. And, Jesus Hercules Christ.

What’s his name? Jackson?

[riser4]

Sierra was also the name of an adult model/actress. So for me, the soccer mom named Sierra has a dirty little secret.

[DBdude]

He prefers fresh clam, don't you?

yes - but for a quick cheap dinner....

I often use some chopped clams when I make garlic pasta and shrimp

[californiagrown]

I’ve always had what I thought was an irrational fear of dropping my keys down a storm drain. I will not take keys out of my pocket anywhere near a drain and I pay attention when I park to avoid having to be near one. My wife thinks I’m nuts, although there are more reasons for that than my drainophibia. Guess that fear isn’t so irrational.

It usually isnt a problem. You can usually just literally lift the grate off and fish out anything from the sump at the bottom with a coat hanger or something. My wife's issue (excuse me, i mean my issue) was that it was pissing rain and the storm system was FLOWING and my guess is that her plastic key fob was just floaty enough to keep the keys buoyant long enough to get flushed out the outlet pipe instead of sinking to the bottom immediately.

[riser4]

It usually isnt a problem. You can usually just literally lift the grate off and fish out anything from the sump at the bottom with a coat hanger or something. My wife's issue (excuse me, i mean my issue) was that it was pissing rain and the storm system was FLOWING and my guess is that her plastic key fob was just floaty enough to keep the keys buoyant long enough to get flushed out the outlet pipe instead of sinking to the bottom immediately.

Why didn't you design a better system?

[Bunion 2020]

You can usually just literally lift the 50 +lb grate that is cemented into place by sediment off if you don't fuck up and lose some fingers or throw out your back

You design em, I have to deal with them.

[chicken feathers]

The other day my wife dropped off our truck at my work. For some reason she decided to back in at like 8 mph while giving me eye contact. I throw my arms out motioning her to stop, and yell STOP! STOP!!! But she kept going back and looking at me - right into the chainlink fence. I was standing there like WTF!?! The fence has been hit before so the posts are loose and the damage was minimal. But JFC it was like something I'd expect from a teenager.

Normally she is a decent driver, knows how to park and use mirrors. Idk wtf her problem was that night.

[californiagrown]

Why didn't you design a better system?

First thing she said after overhearing me describe the downstream path in detail to the emergency PW maintenance lady on the phone haha. "why would you put a grate right there?! Why would you make the holes so big?! This is your fault you know!?"

Instead of calmly answering with the factual reasoning for each design decision, i went with "yeah thats a shitty spot for the CB, the holes in the grate ARE awfully big and Im sorry i never stop learning and will take this into account next time".

You design em, I have to deal with them.

JHC im getting teamed up on now haha.

[paulster2626]

Thanks for the can opener suggestions my guys. Guess what the lady will be fishing out of her stocking on Dec 25! I am sure to get laid!

[Bunion 2020]

JHC im getting teamed up on now haha.

Not to worry, if something is fucked up on a site I always blame the engineers cause they are long gone.

[TahoeJ]

I am going to write a book about the Wife/Husband relationship.
Working title is - Recycle Bin Full- The story of how 2 unbroken down boxes took down an empire.

Or something to that effect. Good god, just toss them in the garage like every other wife.

Ha, I like it.

[AK47bp]

I am going to write a book about the Wife/Husband relationship.
Working title is - Recycle Bin Full- The story of how 2 unbroken down boxes took down an empire.

Or something to that effect. Good god, just toss them in the garage like every other wife.

Dishwasher Unorganized - the Cascading decline of the American marriage.

-Nail-in-Head Productions


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[old goat]

We use a can opener in our kitchen maybe a few times a year around the holidays. Is it a generational thing….?

If you can get ripe fresh San Marzano style tomatoes year round I envy you.
Then there are chipotles in adobo sauce.
And I believe you just admitted to liking the jellied cranberry sauce. I bet you won't eat it if you can't see the ridges from the can--like my kids.

[skaredshtles]

If you can get ripe fresh San Marzano style tomatoes year round I envy you.
Then there are chipotles in adobo sauce.

These things comes with pull tabs now, man...