I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[concretejungle]

My wife just borrowed my car battery jumper pack to go jump a friend's car and came back and said "it didn't work".

Now I'm the asshole for asking her a few questions to try to figure out what the issue was and if my jumper pack is busted.

Oh man, those situations are my favorite. "Were you using it properly? Did you troubleshoot your issue or just assume that it doesn't work?"

[liv2ski]

I like it when it is hooked up backwards and fries the car.

[PB]

Go ahead, tell her that's what she did, see what happens.

[John_B]

I like it when it is hooked up backwards and fries the car.

Fortunately she is plenty savvy to then jump the car using cables but the lack of diagnostics on my damn jumper pack is killing me.

[Bunion 2020]

I was told you can gauge the power by touching your tongue to both clamps.

[booner]

My favorite time of year when I put the tree up and ask for the wife's eye.

"Is it straight?"...yep

"Are you sure?"...ooohh yeah it's definitely perfectly straight

"Perfectly straight, you're sure?"...100% babe! (tree listing at 10 degrees to port side)

*tightens it up

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck"

[JongDoe]

Man i love watching re runs of Rat Patrol.

Never was into pickles.

Loved that show, but saw reruns recently and laughed at the ridiculosity. Are they still chasing that Rommel dude?

[PB]

They are over in Rogue Heroes. Check it out.

[ironhippy]

This is from a while ago, but I like it.

My wife had a Honda Accord, I was selling it for her. I had previously sold her Honda Civic.

I work out a deal and on the way to exchange it I am rounding up all the stuff, mainly keys.

She hands me a bunch of keys, I ask "why so many?"

"Oh one of them is for the Civic, when you sold the Civic you gave them one of my Accord keys and I had to buy a new one."

This is all news to me. Not only that, I'm 100% sure it's not true.

After some careful questioning I discovered that her remote entry stopped working at around the same time we sold her old car. Instead of doing any diagnosis, she worked it out that I had mixed up the keys and gave away the wrong one. So, of course, she went to the dealer and spent 250$ on a new key.

I took the key to the "civic", walked outside, opened up the car door and started the Accord with it. The battery had simply died.

The new owner appreciated that he had 4 sets of keys to the car.

[XXX-er]

do you want to be right or do you want to be happy ?

[RShea]

This is from a while ago, but I like it.

My wife had a Honda Accord, I was selling it for her. I had previously sold her Honda Civic.

I work out a deal and on the way to exchange it I am rounding up all the stuff, mainly keys.

She hands me a bunch of keys, I ask "why so many?"

"Oh one of them is for the Civic, when you sold the Civic you gave them one of my Accord keys and I had to buy a new one."

This is all news to me. Not only that, I'm 100% sure it's not true.

After some careful questioning I discovered that her remote entry stopped working at around the same time we sold her old car. Instead of doing any diagnosis, she worked it out that I had mixed up the keys and gave away the wrong one. So, of course, she went to the dealer and spent 250$ on a new key.

I took the key to the "civic", walked outside, opened up the car door and started the Accord with it. The battery had simply died.

The new owner appreciated that he had 4 sets of keys to the car.

Could had been worst- she could have mixed up the remotes when the sale happened and been carrying the old remote for the Civic all this time and the new owner could had been carrying her at the time new Accord remote and not her old Civic remote (if they are not the same type and style or would have not been compatible)...

[~mikey b]

she’s probably stealing cars

[irul&ublo]

Loved that show, but saw reruns recently and laughed at the ridiculosity. Are they still chasing that Rommel dude?

He had that cool hat

[frorider]

Ironhippy, the “ After some careful questioning” bit had me on the edge of my seat.

After carefully removing the log pinning down the injured mountain lion…

[plugboots]

Ironhippy, the “ After some careful questioning” bit had me on the edge of my seat.

After carefully removing the log pinning down the injured mountain lion…

Or:

[gravitylover]

Go ahead, tell her that's what she did, see what happens.

Don't take this advice

[paulster2626]

Question: do any of you people ever celebrate someone else's anniversary?

Latest MIL text last night "hey it's [sister-in-law's] 25th anniversary in a couple weeks do you want to contribute to a gift"
Like, no I don't. I don't celebrate other people's anniversaries. If they have a party or whatever and invite me then yeah, but otherwise that's their business and has nothing to do with me. I usually call the dude and tell him happy anniversary on the phone but that's only because it's the same day as my birthday so he wishes me happy birthday and it's funny. But I have never ever cared about anyone else's anniversary; I have a hard enough time remembering my own.

[MontuckyFried]

Who else is this true for?

[riser4]

Who else is this true for?

We both try to be the first pic but also both end up being the second, usually in amusing accidental ways, like stepping on the cat or knocking something over while trying to ninja. We are both equally guilty.

[TahoeJ]

Question: do any of you people ever celebrate someone else's anniversary?

Latest MIL text last night "hey it's [sister-in-law's] 25th anniversary in a couple weeks do you want to contribute to a gift"
Like, no I don't. I don't celebrate other people's anniversaries. If they have a party or whatever and invite me then yeah, but otherwise that's their business and has nothing to do with me. I usually call the dude and tell him happy anniversary on the phone but that's only because it's the same day as my birthday so he wishes me happy birthday and it's funny. But I have never ever cared about anyone else's anniversary; I have a hard enough time remembering my own.

Yeah, that's just strange... I mean, I can see parents celebrating their kids' anniversary but beyond that the concept seems ridiculous.

[VTskibum]

Who else is this true for?

Yep, rings true for sure. Though I think my wife is the ninja too bc she usually likes to leave shit in the walkway or even worse leaving a dresser drawer open for me to slam my shin into.


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[MontuckyFried]

Yeah, that's just strange... I mean, I can see parents celebrating their kids' anniversary but beyond that the concept seems ridiculous.

Agreed. I absolutely do not care if anybody else cares about my anniversary. As long as I remember it, that's all that matters, and I've even failed a time or two at that. What's weird though is when people get all butthurtz when you don't make a big deal about theirs. My mom, for example. She gets super hurt when her kids don't call to say happy anniversary, but on the flipside, it's not like she's ever called us to do the same. Same with Mother's Day. The onus is always on US for some reason. If we don't call, it's not like we receive a call from her. That's gotta be some kinda narcissistic or borderline personality crap when other people expect you to make a huge deal about stuff like that. Especially when they don't reciprocate. Not that we want them to or anything. Some strange behavior if you ask me.

[MontuckyFried]

Yep, rings true for sure. Though I think my wife is the ninja too bc she usually likes to leave shit in the walkway or even worse leaving a dresser drawer open for me to slam my shin into.

Haha. YES!!! Whether it's a cabinet door right at my head's height or her closet door that I run into in the dark, she definitely leaves an obstacle course for me to clear. And if I DO run into said door, I'll somehow manage to whisper (instead of yell) "sunnuva!" and she'll still get mad at me for waking her. But every time she has to get ready before me, she's leaving that closet light on, she's loudly slamming every possible bathroom cabinet door, hurling curling irons onto the counter or something. She loud AF. Oh, but we DARE not wake ye sleeping dragons, right?

The meme made me laugh, but it's also comforting to know it's a universal thing and not just her. She blames it on women's maternal instincts and that's why they're woken up at the slightest noise. Too bad they gotta to the other extreme and be super rude to the rest of the house if they're the first one's up. It's a thing.

[TurxSki]

Especially when they don't reciprocate. Not that we want them to or anything..

Well. She did squirt you out, raise you, cook your meals, and whatnot. So there is that...



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[skaredshtles]

Who else is this true for?

<raises hand>