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  1. #3026
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    Quote Originally Posted by tgapp View Post
    together for 11 years, going on 8 years of marriage.
    I would think you'd be used to it by now.
    The other day she did this exact thing to me, and I just got a larger and larger grin, and just started laughing. Made her crack up. She knew I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about.
    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

  2. #3027
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    Quote Originally Posted by tgapp View Post
    you should have understood what i was asking
    Story of my life right here.
    Ms Boissal is quite stingy with her words and usually I have to guess what she wants/means. If I ask questions I annoy her because she has to break the quiet bubble of the noise cancelling headphones. Then she assumes the question is veiled criticism, because I obviously would be sneaky like that.

    The worst of the worst is with her learning French. She claims she doesn't want my help because I make fun of her all the time. The reality is that she will blurt out a French word in the middle of a conversation and the word will have absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand. Without any context a small issue with pronunciation can make any word unrecognizable so I rarely get what she's trying to say. I'll eventually ask her to spell which pisses her off to no end. I keep telling her it's unfortunate she married someone who's so intellectually challenged he can't even read minds. It doesn't help.
    "Your wife being mad is temporary, but pow turns do not get unmade" - mallwalker the wise

  3. #3028
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    Mar 2005
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    13,403
    Once I heard “move the weed plant”. All the confusion made sense.
    “Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.”
    Hunter S. Thompson

  4. #3029
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    Jun 2006
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    Seattle
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    1,643
    Quote Originally Posted by teledad View Post
    I can top that. Mine will grab the DIPA (because it's the only beer in the fridge since she forgot to restock the beer she likes), open it and take a sip, say "this is too bitter" and pour it down the sink.
    Jesus. I could look past the drinking DIPA out of the can, but this one...painful

  5. #3030
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    Jan 2008
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    truckee
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boissal View Post
    Story of my life right here.
    Ms Boissal is quite stingy with her words and usually I have to guess what she wants/means. If I ask questions I annoy her because she has to break the quiet bubble of the noise cancelling headphones. Then she assumes the question is veiled criticism, because I obviously would be sneaky like that.

    The worst of the worst is with her learning French. She claims she doesn't want my help because I make fun of her all the time. The reality is that she will blurt out a French word in the middle of a conversation and the word will have absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand. Without any context a small issue with pronunciation can make any word unrecognizable so I rarely get what she's trying to say. I'll eventually ask her to spell which pisses her off to no end. I keep telling her it's unfortunate she married someone who's so intellectually challenged he can't even read minds. It doesn't help.
    My wife is most definitely not stingy with words but I still have to guess what she means or wants.

  6. #3031
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    Nov 2006
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    Seattle
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    7,398
    Yeah, but she lets you post her great tits in leather on the internet. Trade-offs man, trade-offs.

    Quote Originally Posted by tgapp View Post
    oh my god, this might be my biggest single frustration. clarity of language. i used to think it was an english-as-a-second language thing; wifey is russian, and while her english is fluent +, some habits (namely, using very few words) die hard. maybe it's a just a wife thing?

    she'll ask me shit like "you know how we did that thing a few years ago, wasn't there something we needed to remember so that the other thing doesn't happen again?" or, out of nowhere, with no context clues, she'll ask "hey did you tell him what we talked about?" i used to get sarcastic with her; "oh yeah, totally, i did do the stuff and the thing and all the people have emotions about the words i said", but that would only make her defensive and withdrawn - "you know what i'm talking about".

    sometimes she'll use the complete wrong word for something, and then she will be baffled when i don't understand. example from two weeks ago:

    wifey: "hey did you remember to turn the furnace on?"
    me:"no, we haven't ran the furnace in a few months, it'll get too hot at night"
    wifey: "what do you mean we haven't run the furnace? we turn it on every night, and it's not too hot, we need to do it"
    me, puzzled - "ohhhh, do you mean the propane heater in the greenhouse?"
    wifey: "yes of course, what else did you think i was talking about?"
    me: "well a furnace and a propane mr. buddy heater in our greenhouse are two very different things, and you asked about the furnace"
    wifey: "well they both create heat, so you should have understood what i was asking"
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  7. #3032
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    Mar 2017
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    1,998
    Quote Originally Posted by oftpiste View Post
    Yeah, but she lets you post her great tits in leather on the internet. Trade-offs man, trade-offs.
    true, but this thread is "I love my wife and all but Jesus Hercules Christ"

    just two minutes ago -

    we've started to have a problem with clothing moths lately, and I hear her yelling irrationally loudly (swearing in Russian) in the bathroom.

    "I just found one of the fuckers right on a cinder block!"

    "A cinder block?" I asked

    "Yeah, why the fuck did we get these if the moths don't care about them?" Wife asks, holding up a cedar ring

    --

    I didn't correct her.

    Sent from my Pixel 4a (5G) using Tapatalk

  8. #3033
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    Aug 2007
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    At the beach
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    Quote Originally Posted by oftpiste View Post
    Yeah, but she lets you post her great tits in leather on the internet. Trade-offs man, trade-offs.
    Wait what? Tgapp has the hawt Russian wife and he is bitching. Please tell me she isn't a redhead to boot or he can take his complaints elsewhere.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  9. #3034
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Bethel, Maine
    Posts
    1,026
    My personal favorite is when she shouts from another room about "this", usually while I'm doing something else, and expects an answer. "Well, should we buy this?" "Should we do this next weekend?" "We should have this for dinner!" Etc

    Okay, the first one is almost always "no," but knowing what "this" is--which I clearly do not, as she's (as I've learned the few times I am in the same room) pointing to something on her phone or computer, would be rather helpful in providing a meaningful answer.

    Sent from my SM-G892A using TGR Forums mobile app

  10. #3035
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    Jan 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by liv2ski View Post
    Wait what? Tgapp has the hawt Russian wife and he is bitching. Please tell me she isn't a redhead to boot or he can take his complaints elsewhere.
    Russians are only hot until you marry them.

  11. #3036
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    To be fair, the guy I know married a hawt Ukrainian mail order bride.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  12. #3037
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    truckee
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    There's nothing fair about it.
    And Ukrainian isn't Russian.

  13. #3038
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    Quote Originally Posted by old goat View Post
    ...And Ukrainian isn't Russian.
    ...yet.

  14. #3039
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    Quote Originally Posted by old goat View Post
    My wife is most definitely not stingy with words but I still have to guess what she means or wants.
    This^.
    My wife has several topics running in her head that she thinks I'm aware of. It's a running joke.
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  15. #3040
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    Dec 2012
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    I smell poutine!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buster Highmen View Post
    This^.
    My wife has several topics running in her head that she thinks I'm aware of. It's a running joke.
    Heh.

  16. #3041
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    under the hogback shadow
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    We are going to repaint the entire inside of our condo in a couple weeks. I'm doing the work myself. We survived the argument over which color and got her to agree to paint the ceiling the same color as the walls. (I am NOT going to tape and apply two different colors)
    Yesterday she asked what color am I painting the barn door for the laundry closet. We don't have a barn door.
    Um, honey, I was willing to build a barn door last year when I was out of work, but you didn't want one. I'm fully employed, and now you want one?!? arrggghhh

  17. #3042
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    Dec 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper View Post
    ...yet.
    or again.

    I was going to say calling a Ukrainian a Russian will get you smacked in a lot of places...
    what's orange and looks good on hippies?
    fire

    rails are for trains
    If I had a dollar for every time capitalism was blamed for problems caused by the government I'd be a rich fat film maker in a baseball hat.

    www.theguideshut.ca

  18. #3043
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
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    SLC, Utah
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    told mrs tgapp about this thread - she spent the evening reading back about ten pages before telling me "i should make an account on tgr just to bitch about how you love to leave all the cupboard doors open in the kitchen"

    then she saw this

    Quote Originally Posted by old goat View Post
    Russians are only hot until you marry them.
    and did this:

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	PXL_20210518_175844452.jpg 
Views:	184 
Size:	1.61 MB 
ID:	374982

    i can't read Cyrillic but i believe it says "fuck you old goat", or more accurately, "go sit on a dick, old goat"

  19. #3044
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    Dec 2016
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    This thread is now, officially, off-the-hook awesome.


  20. #3045
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    Apr 2021
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    Time for Old Goat to write something on his chest in response!

  21. #3046
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    Nov 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by muted reborn View Post
    Time for Old Goat to write something on his chest in response!
    Hah - yeah!!! In Geezer Medical Jargon!
    Let's all get in on this - trending

  22. #3047
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    Quote Originally Posted by muted reborn View Post
    Time for Old Goat to write something on his chest in response!
    Perhaps in Yiddish?


  23. #3048
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    Dec 2005
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    If this thread wasn’t Hall of Fame before it is now

  24. #3049
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    Feb 2012
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    I’m both frightened and aroused.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  25. #3050
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    Quote Originally Posted by AK47bp View Post
    I’m both frightened and aroused.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    accurate summary of how I feel about our marriage.

    Sent from my Pixel 4a (5G) using Tapatalk

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