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  1. #3001
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Truckee & Sonoma
    Posts
    12,820
    My ex would claim she’s saving water by doing that (“we’re in a drought”), but I don’t buy it.
    I ski 135 degree chutes switch to the road.

  2. #3002
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    I smell poutine!!!
    Posts
    14,321
    Quote Originally Posted by TahoeJ View Post
    My ex would claim she’s saving water by doing that (“we’re in a drought”), but I don’t buy it.
    Right, because first thing I am going to do before using an unflushed toilet is close the lid and flush it especially if I have to sit down and take a crap. I don't want someone else's rancid pee splashing on my balls and bunghole. It's bad enough when it's my own.

  3. #3003
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    closer
    Posts
    3,493
    Quote Originally Posted by riser3 View Post
    Two questions. Is there a ring on it? Whose house is it? Well there's a third. Can you teach your dick to suck itself?
    Autofellatio is the future of male Yoga.
    It's a war of the mind and we're armed to the teeth.

  4. #3004
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Bethel, Maine
    Posts
    1,040
    Quote Originally Posted by skaredshtles View Post
    My wife: "Quit leaving strawberry hulls in the sink."

    Also my wife: Leaves strawberry hulls in the sink for days.



    Wife: mad because there's toothpaste left in bathroom sink.

    Me: agrees that clumps of toothpaste in sink isn't good, then points out that I use white toothpaste, not the blue stuff that she does, and that the toothpaste in the sink is blue.

    That's just about the only time I've managed to convince her that it wasn't my fault.

    Sent from my SM-G892A using TGR Forums mobile app

  5. #3005
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    In a van... down by the river
    Posts
    7,155
    Quote Originally Posted by anotherVTskibum View Post
    Wife: mad because there's toothpaste left in bathroom sink.

    Me: agrees that clumps of toothpaste in sink isn't good, then points out that I use white toothpaste, not the blue stuff that she does, and that the toothpaste in the sink is blue.

    That's just about the only time I've managed to convince her that it wasn't my fault.
    And she's still mad at you...

  6. #3006
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Where the sheets have no stains
    Posts
    16,313
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Screenshot_2021-05-16 The Autoblow AI Is The Best Blowjob Machine .png 
Views:	179 
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    Say "I do."
    I have been in this State for 30 years and I am willing to admit that I am part of the problem.

  7. #3007
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Big Sky/Moonlight Basin
    Posts
    10,941
    No wonder every time I see Bunion he has a smile on his face.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    "Zee damn fat skis are ruining zee piste !" -Oscar Schevlin

    "Hike up your skirt and grow a dick you fucking crybaby" -what Bunion said to Harry at the top of The Headwaters

  8. #3008
    Join Date
    Dec 2020
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    422
    Quote Originally Posted by TahoeJ View Post
    My ex would claim she’s saving water by doing that (“we’re in a drought”), but I don’t buy it.

    "here in the land of fun and sun, we don't flush for #1" - Cap'n Jacks - Hopetown, Abaco, Bahamas

  9. #3009
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    6,150
    And we've got the fragrance to prove it.
    Sorry - vintage urine in warm climes ........ eye watering.

  10. #3010
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Wenatchee
    Posts
    9,202
    Quote Originally Posted by Core Shot View Post
    Coors light.

    Lol.

    Redundant
    Don’t dis the Banquet you asshole


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  11. #3011
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Ogden
    Posts
    6,763
    Ok, so the drinking beer out of the can thing isn't a huge deal, but we've covered the other stuff that she does. Dishwasher, drawers and cabinet doors left open, etc. And it was my beer to enjoy in a glass, damnit!

  12. #3012
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
    Posts
    17,219
    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeless Sinner View Post
    "here in the land of fun and sun, we don't flush for #1" - Cap'n Jacks - Hopetown, Abaco, Bahamas
    If it's yellow it's mellow, if it's brown flush it down. (Marin County, CA, circa 1976-7. Now that was a drought. You young whippersnappers don't know what a drought is. Why it was so dry back then they couldn't do baptisms, which is why there are so many atheists in California.)

  13. #3013
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Posts
    13,319
    Quote Originally Posted by old goat View Post
    If it's yellow it's mellow, if it's brown flush it down. (Marin County, CA, circa 1976-7. Now that was a drought. You young whippersnappers don't know what a drought is. Why it was so dry back then they couldn't do baptisms, which is why there are so many atheists in California.)
    But the biggest California fire in ‘77 was the Marble-Cone. It was 178,000 acres, which isn’t a contender these days, especially because most of it was in wilderness area.

    Cumulative drought counts, and the west is deep into cumulative drought. 76-77 was kind of stand-alone.

  14. #3014
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Donner Summit
    Posts
    943
    Quote Originally Posted by zion zig zag View Post
    My wife will come in from doing yard work and crack open a $6 DIPA you've been saving in the back of the fridge and drink it out of the can like it's a coors light. With zero fucks given. And I can't even convince her to pour it in a glass.
    I can top that. Mine will grab the DIPA (because it's the only beer in the fridge since she forgot to restock the beer she likes), open it and take a sip, say "this is too bitter" and pour it down the sink.

  15. #3015
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    In a van... down by the river
    Posts
    7,155
    Quote Originally Posted by teledad View Post
    I can top that. Mine will grab the DIPA (because it's the only beer in the fridge since she forgot to restock the beer she likes), open it and take a sip, say "this is too bitter" and pour it down the sink.
    Nuke from orbit, behead the remains.

  16. #3016
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Stumptown
    Posts
    6,764
    Quote Originally Posted by teledad View Post
    I can top that. Mine will grab the DIPA (because it's the only beer in the fridge since she forgot to restock the beer she likes), open it and take a sip, say "this is too bitter" and pour it down the sink.
    Nah, she’s just smart cause DIPA is trash

  17. #3017
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    6,050
    Quote Originally Posted by Bunion 2020 View Post
    Click image for larger version. 

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ID:	374776

    Say "I do."
    Tech talk jong.

  18. #3018
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Wenatchee
    Posts
    9,202
    Quote Originally Posted by Supermoon View Post
    Nah, she’s just smart cause DIPA is trash
    Finally, someone said it


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  19. #3019
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Shadynasty's Jazz Club
    Posts
    9,212
    Her, staring at her phone, slowly crafting an online food order: “Will you text granny and see if she wants anything?”
    Remind me. We'll send him a red cap and a Speedo.

  20. #3020
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    15,340
    Am I the only one that struggles to understand what the wife is asking/saying? Eating breakfast together I am asked "so if I move it will it effect the timer". My response, 'if you move what, the power strip". "No if I move it". Me, "what is it, can I get a noun"? Huffy response, ""if I move the weed plant obviously". Me, "How would moving the weed plant effect the timer"? "That is what I am asking". Me, "Jeezuz, if left plugged in, how would the timer be effected"?
    This happens all the time. I am asked vague questions with no noun and I am expected to be a mind reader and concisely respond. FML, it makes me batty.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  21. #3021
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    In a van... down by the river
    Posts
    7,155
    Quote Originally Posted by liv2ski View Post
    Am I the only one that struggles to understand what the wife is asking/saying? Eating breakfast together I am asked "so if I move it will it effect the timer". My response, 'if you move what, the power strip". "No if I move it". Me, "what is it, can I get a noun"? Huffy response, ""if I move the weed plant obviously". Me, "How would moving the weed plant effect the timer"? "That is what I am asking". Me, "Jeezuz, if left plugged in, how would the timer be effected"?
    This happens all the time. I am asked vague questions with no noun and I am expected to be a mind reader and concisely respond. FML, it makes me batty.
    Just randomly answer "yes" or "no" and move on with your life. And when she blames you for <whatever> you can honestly tell her you have no idea what she's talking about.

  22. #3022
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    SLC, Utah
    Posts
    2,015
    Quote Originally Posted by liv2ski View Post
    Am I the only one that struggles to understand what the wife is asking/saying? Eating breakfast together I am asked "so if I move it will it effect the timer". My response, 'if you move what, the power strip". "No if I move it". Me, "what is it, can I get a noun"? Huffy response, ""if I move the weed plant obviously". Me, "How would moving the weed plant effect the timer"? "That is what I am asking". Me, "Jeezuz, if left plugged in, how would the timer be effected"?
    This happens all the time. I am asked vague questions with no noun and I am expected to be a mind reader and concisely respond. FML, it makes me batty.
    oh my god, this might be my biggest single frustration. clarity of language. i used to think it was an english-as-a-second language thing; wifey is russian, and while her english is fluent +, some habits (namely, using very few words) die hard. maybe it's a just a wife thing?

    she'll ask me shit like "you know how we did that thing a few years ago, wasn't there something we needed to remember so that the other thing doesn't happen again?" or, out of nowhere, with no context clues, she'll ask "hey did you tell him what we talked about?" i used to get sarcastic with her; "oh yeah, totally, i did do the stuff and the thing and all the people have emotions about the words i said", but that would only make her defensive and withdrawn - "you know what i'm talking about".

    sometimes she'll use the complete wrong word for something, and then she will be baffled when i don't understand. example from two weeks ago:

    wifey: "hey did you remember to turn the furnace on?"
    me:"no, we haven't ran the furnace in a few months, it'll get too hot at night"
    wifey: "what do you mean we haven't run the furnace? we turn it on every night, and it's not too hot, we need to do it"
    me, puzzled - "ohhhh, do you mean the propane heater in the greenhouse?"
    wifey: "yes of course, what else did you think i was talking about?"
    me: "well a furnace and a propane mr. buddy heater in our greenhouse are two very different things, and you asked about the furnace"
    wifey: "well they both create heat, so you should have understood what i was asking"

  23. #3023
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Bottom feeding
    Posts
    9,023
    Quote Originally Posted by tgapp View Post
    oh my god, this might be my biggest single frustration. clarity of language. i used to think it was an english-as-a-second language thing; wifey is russian, and while her english is fluent +, some habits (namely, using very few words) die hard. maybe it's a just a wife thing?

    she'll ask me shit like "you know how we did that thing a few years ago, wasn't there something we needed to remember so that the other thing doesn't happen again?" or, out of nowhere, with no context clues, she'll ask "hey did you tell him what we talked about?" i used to get sarcastic with her; "oh yeah, totally, i did do the stuff and the thing and all the people have emotions about the words i said", but that would only make her defensive and withdrawn - "you know what i'm talking about".

    sometimes she'll use the complete wrong word for something, and then she will be baffled when i don't understand. example from two weeks ago:

    wifey: "hey did you remember to turn the furnace on?"
    me:"no, we haven't ran the furnace in a few months, it'll get too hot at night"
    wifey: "what do you mean we haven't run the furnace? we turn it on every night, and it's not too hot, we need to do it"
    me, puzzled - "ohhhh, do you mean the propane heater in the greenhouse?"
    wifey: "yes of course, what else did you think i was talking about?"
    me: "well a furnace and a propane mr. buddy heater in our greenhouse are two very different things, and you asked about the furnace"
    wifey: "well they both create heat, so you should have understood what i was asking"
    Been married long?
    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

  24. #3024
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    SLC, Utah
    Posts
    2,015
    Quote Originally Posted by plugboots View Post
    Been married long?
    together for 11 years, going on 8 years of marriage.

    Sent from my Pixel 4a (5G) using Tapatalk

  25. #3025
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
    Posts
    17,219
    Quote Originally Posted by liv2ski View Post
    Am I the only one that struggles to understand what the wife is asking/saying? Eating breakfast together I am asked "so if I move it will it effect the timer". My response, 'if you move what, the power strip". "No if I move it". Me, "what is it, can I get a noun"? Huffy response, ""if I move the weed plant obviously". Me, "How would moving the weed plant effect the timer"? "That is what I am asking". Me, "Jeezuz, if left plugged in, how would the timer be effected"?
    This happens all the time. I am asked vague questions with no noun and I am expected to be a mind reader and concisely respond. FML, it makes me batty.
    Is "it" a noun or a pronoun? I've forgotten.

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