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  1. #2376
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    inpdx
    Posts
    14,929

    I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

    The progressive parent coach commercial comes to mind

    0:17

  2. #2377
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    2 hours from anything
    Posts
    8,674
    Quote Originally Posted by ötzi View Post
    "I really want to spend some money but we don't actually need anything."

    = moar pilloez

    Thank jeebus my wife hasn't thought of the seasonal aspect of the pillow world. It's bad enough that about 25 years ago I was reading a biography of H.L. Mencken, who grew up wealthy in a home with many servants. The author mentioned that in Mencken's childhood home the servants would take all the dark oriental rugs out of the house in the spring, clean and store them, and put out lighter rugs for the summer, and then reverse the process in the fall. This seemed kind of cool but kind of crazy and only a thing that people with many servants would even consider doing, and I found it sort of amusing, and then my wife walked by and I mentioned it to her.

    Big mistake. Big, big mistake.
    It sounds like she’s trolling you ice.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  3. #2378
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    7,274
    Quote Originally Posted by ötzi View Post
    "I really want to spend some money but we don't actually need anything."

    = moar pilloez

    Thank jeebus my wife hasn't thought of the seasonal aspect of the pillow world. It's bad enough that about 25 years ago I was reading a biography of H.L. Mencken, who grew up wealthy in a home with many servants. The author mentioned that in Mencken's childhood home the servants would take all the dark oriental rugs out of the house in the spring, clean and store them, and put out lighter rugs for the summer, and then reverse the process in the fall. This seemed kind of cool but kind of crazy and only a thing that people with many servants would even consider doing, and I found it sort of amusing, and then my wife walked by and I mentioned it to her.

    Big mistake. Big, big mistake.
    I can see the logic of darker rugs in winter and lighter in summer. Dark hides dirt and mud better.

    Just went from dark granite countertops to a light marble colored quartz and now my countertops always look dirty.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  4. #2379
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Bottom feeding
    Posts
    8,898

    I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

    So, a week or so ago, we had a “discussion”.

    Plug: “Jesus H. Christ, it drives me nuts when I’m trying to tell you a story or something, and you just stop looking at me and start staring at your phone. I can’t tell if you heard me or not.” Arggghhhh.
    Mrs. Plug: “You do the same the same thing! Like when you’re driving and I’m talking to you, and then you just interrupt me and start yelling at another driver for some dumb thing”.

    Last night:

    Plug: “Jeez lady, why are you staring at me like that?”
    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

  5. #2380
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    4,507
    Quote Originally Posted by easyrdr View Post
    If it is a seat, we have a pillow on it. I was told they really bring the house together because the hits of color on the pillows flow from room to room. Not sure how the flow works when I throw the pillow on the floor to sit down.

    As for the bed there are so many fucking pillows it's dumb. They go from the bed to the floor over and over again, not used for a damn thing. I fully accept that this is just one of those wife mysteries that will forever remain unexplainable.
    Prop her up on the pillows and fuck her. Once they have a bunch of jizz on them, she’ll have to take them out of circulation and wash the covers. There’s the flow...

  6. #2381
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    on the edge
    Posts
    6,349
    Quote Originally Posted by 54-46 View Post
    Prop her up on the pillows and fuck her. Once they have a bunch of jizz on them, she’ll have to take them out of circulation and wash the covers. There’s the flow...
    Veteran leadership right there...
    If it's green, smoke it...if it's pink, poke it

    BUY THESE------> 193 iM 103 - $50 https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...d.php?t=179797

  7. #2382
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    I smell poutine!!!
    Posts
    13,719
    Quote Originally Posted by plugboots View Post
    So, a week or so ago, we had a “discussion”.

    Plug: “Jesus H. Christ, it drives me nuts when I’m trying to tell you a story or something, and you just stop looking at me and start staring at your phone. I can’t tell if you heard me or not.” Arggghhhh.
    Mrs. Plug: “You do the same the same thing! Like when you’re driving and I’m talking to you, and then you just interrupt me and start yelling at another driver for some dumb thing”.

    Last night:

    Plug: “Jeez lady, why are you staring at me like that?”
    Can't win.

  8. #2383
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    7,274
    Quote Originally Posted by muted View Post
    When this thread started I laughed at all the pillow talk here. Not my problem! Then out of nowhere extra pillows started popping up everywhere in my house like mushrooms after a rain. They popped up on the beds, the couches, outside couches, and now we have seasonal pillows.

    To find the remote, phone, lost toy, I have to move 6-8 pillows to see the whole fucking couch every time.
    I asked my wife what the fuck was up with all these pillows?

    Her response was “it’s a way to change the style and look of a room for a couple hundred bucks, If you’d rather we can buy a new couch every few years or repaint the living room instead”

    My response was.......”okay”.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  9. #2384
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    the ham
    Posts
    9,124
    Quote Originally Posted by plugboots View Post
    Plug: “Jesus H. Christ, it drives me nuts when I’m trying to tell you a story or something, and you just stop looking at me and start staring at your phone. I can’t tell if you heard me or not.” Arggghhhh.
    The sound of my voice is inaudible to my wife.

  10. #2385
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    5,950
    My wife continues talking to/at me after I've left the room.

    Could be age related, as I may have done the same once or twice ..... recently.

  11. #2386
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    7,274
    Quote Originally Posted by PB View Post
    My wife continues talking to/at me after I've left the room.

    Could be age related, as I may have done the same once or twice ..... recently.
    Yup. But do you keep walking away even when you hear her talking to you?

    That’s pro level.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  12. #2387
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    my own little world
    Posts
    3,170
    Quote Originally Posted by AK47bp View Post
    Yup. But do you keep walking away even when you hear her talking to you?

    That’s pro level.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    I do this. I’ll tell my girlfriend to keep talking, even, as I walk across to the other side of the house.
    focus.

  13. #2388
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Location
    DownEast
    Posts
    1,216
    Quote Originally Posted by AK47bp View Post
    Yup. But do you keep walking away even when you hear her talking to you?

    That’s pro level.
    Sure, just say "I'm listening..." as you walk away. Women just want to be heard, or at least the illusion of it. And to think that some people don't believe thousands of dollars in coulples therapy is worth it.

  14. #2389
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Truckee & Sonoma
    Posts
    12,622
    Quote Originally Posted by 54-46 View Post
    Prop her up on the pillows and fuck her. Once they have a bunch of jizz on them, she’ll have to take them out of circulation and wash the covers. There’s the flow...
    Solid advice. This is what TGR is all about right here...
    I ski 135 degree chutes switch to the road.

  15. #2390
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    14,732
    I would go WWF on the pillows and fart on each one.

    I am not married. Shocking, I know.

  16. #2391
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    northern BC
    Posts
    23,213
    Altho we do live apart I actualy like talking to my GF

    do i have to turn in my man card ?
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  17. #2392
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    my own little world
    Posts
    3,170
    Quote Originally Posted by XXX-er View Post
    Altho we do live apart I actualy like talking to my GF

    do i have to turn in my man card ?
    I do too! That’s why I tell her to keep talking.
    focus.

  18. #2393
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Wenatchee
    Posts
    8,850
    Quote Originally Posted by XXX-er View Post
    Altho we do live apart I actualy like talking to my GF

    do i have to turn in my man card ?
    No, I’ve always been of the mind that your partner should be your best friend or at least one of them.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  19. #2394
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    5,950
    Quote Originally Posted by singlecross View Post
    Sure, just say "I'm listening..." as you walk away. Women just want to be heard, or at least the illusion of it. And to think that some people don't believe thousands of dollars in coulples therapy is worth it.
    LIES!!!!!!!!!

    I always get berated for not remember things that she told me ........ when I wasn't in the damn room!

  20. #2395
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Location
    in a freezer in Italy
    Posts
    2,353
    Quote Originally Posted by Ted Striker View Post
    The sound of my voice is inaudible to my wife.
    That's an issue at our house. I'll say something and there's no reaction at all. Nothing. Literally like I am not there. It drives me insane, I find it incredibly rude and I'm not shy about saying it. Of course I guess she can't hear that, either.

    But if I'm doing something, reading, whatever, she'll walk in the room and just start fucking talking like we've been having a conversation. I tried freezing her out the way she does me and that didn't work out well at all.

  21. #2396
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    5,950
    CONVERSATIONS! HOW DO THEY WORK???

  22. #2397
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
    Posts
    16,637
    Quote Originally Posted by PB View Post
    My wife continues talking to/at me after I've left the room.

    Could be age related, as I may have done the same once or twice ..... recently.
    You're supposed to stay in the room until she decides she's done talking. Note that this is well after she stops talking and you think she's done.

  23. #2398
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,348
    I am not a genius, and in many ways I feel like my wife is way smarter than I am. That being said... tonight I watched her for more than 5 minutes struggle to turn on a lamp with voice control via an Alexa device and a smart outlet. The devices weren't reading each other I guess. After awhile, she sat down on the couch and consulted her phone to find the solution. She then went back to unplugging, replugging, rebooting etc. All together she spent probably 12 minutes trying to turn the lamp on before giving up and sitting back down on the couch. I pretended not to be paying attention to any of this, and as soon as she sat down and sighed, I quietly got up and turned the switch on the lamp. It turned on. The room is brighter now. I looked at her. She is mad at me.
    Quote Originally Posted by JoeStrummer
    The universe that is a vehicle is a funny and delicate thing. I fucked my wife in the back seat of our Saab in the parking lot before a Social D / Superchunk show at Red Rocks. After that the radio never worked again.

  24. #2399
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    northern BC
    Posts
    23,213
    Quote Originally Posted by ötzi View Post
    That's an issue at our house. I'll say something and there's no reaction at all. Nothing. Literally like I am not there. It drives me insane, I find it incredibly rude and I'm not shy about saying it. Of course I guess she can't hear that, either.

    But if I'm doing something, reading, whatever, she'll walk in the room and just start fucking talking like we've been having a conversation. I tried freezing her out the way she does me and that didn't work out well at all.
    sounds pasta agressive

    thats when you undercook the spaghetti on purpose to fuck up her digestion
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  25. #2400
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Front Range
    Posts
    209
    Quote Originally Posted by PB View Post
    LIES!!!!!!!!!

    I always get berated for not remember things that she told me ........ when I wasn't in the damn room!
    At least twice a week...

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